like the calm in the waves crashing her absent heart beats the sweetest

i wonder on nights when the ache is all consuming will it ever fucking end? worse though i fear its absence. because on most nights the aching is all there is. patience isn’t something i was born with it was acquired through pain. now i cannot seem to tell if it is patience or stubborn […]

my lips are conduits to the raw voltage coursing through my trembling frame the doorway to pleasures unimagined trapped inside an unwanted fool daydreaming as the sparrows listen to his solemn sighs

i feel the weight of the week none of the anticipation as my brain screams of intangibility with enough empirical evidence to actually back up its claims oscillating between understanding and uncomprehending not an obligation there just wasn’t any other choice so what else can a bipolar bard do but accept he is a human […]

the understanding despite my broken brain screaming i do not exist that i do in fact actually exist just not in any capacity in her world is schismatic being right even only partially is a fucking curse

each new day packs its own brand of mercurial horror yet i was taught to carpe diem despite the fangs eventually i learned i wasn’t the best at search and seizure while the days escaped best intent how could a too earnest fool ever hope to carpe a diem and sow chaotic seeds of beautiful […]

i don’t know why i ceased to exist in her world but i feel the absence of her light as she purposely shines it on everyone around me while i remain lost in the shadows.

if i could writethe perfect metaphorconstruct the rightline in which tounlock my kaleidoscopicsoul and drawthe correct gaze tothis blinding passiondraw them close enoughto see the truth lostin hazel dissonance maybe then the worldwould deem these wordsfit to be consumedrather than turning uptheir snouts in disdainfor a bipolar wunderkindwasting away in hell i understand i amunworthy […]

lady luck, like most other ladies now that i think about it, has never had much interest in a fool born with a broken mirror for a soul. still i toss a pinch of salt over my left shoulder, hoping to curry a little favor with tyche.

she spent so long draped in silence when it began to finally abate she found she simply had nothing left to say to the marionette strung along dutifully he sat there wondering why he was always the extraneous bit so easily excised by the ones he gave his deformed heartshatter to

i should know better than writing another love story channeling adoration into the aether leaves me hollow i could write about flying or running at the speed of light stopping crimes and rescuing people but none of that is such an unfulfilled longing as being loved in return maybe the words will bring errant hearts […]

it’s okay to be lost sometimes as long as the star leading you home are the smiles of those who truly see you otherwise you’ll never find a way toward anything but sorrow i tend to follow the wrong constellations only to realize too late it was simply a mirage waiting for the starlings to […]

being at someone’s disposal doesn’t equate to being disposable until it does

seeing only the worst in myself leaves me seeking the best in others i know how much the universe enjoys reminding us we are nothing and i don’t like the idea of others feeling the way i usually do when i cannot find beauty in my septic soul i find it in the smiles of […]

each time a car drives up the ramp the world lurches beneath me i drift alone in a concrete swimming pool watching the currents sweep away the brightly colored fish impatiently waiting to arrive somewhere they have no desire to go to the parking lot slabs shifting restlessly under a fool longing to simply drown […]

i never see the hesitation so lost in the filaments of adoration the onset buyer’s remorse as she stares at the heart impulsively purchased as it sits on the bedside table murmuring odes to undying love when the intital honeymoon period has faded away to reveal the horrors of a bipolar soul incapable of seeing […]

time to cinch the van allen belt around my toxic soul pull back into the radiation soaked space between happiness and a fool adrift in his own aching emptiness

he had a talent he was able to decrease the volume of his soul minimize himself to nothing while he poured his unwanted heart into making sure his loved ones were secure despite the constant mockery the clear signs cast in public he silently sent his love hoped she would be better soon even if […]

my tender is badly bruised a bitter pill better to be choked down reinforcing insubstantiality to be ignored a bezoar of squirming maggots filling the emptiness

i am hollowed out an entire day spent sobbing sadness screeching as i rock afraid my body will shatter an impossibility of cracking under the weight of my own lack of substance bruised flinching away five again longing for affection drowning in silence leaky valves in an unwanted heart dripping watercolor odes even as i […]

heart likea claymore setto annihilateanyone foolishenough toaccidentallyventure closeenough to trigger mind likea rusted trapinfecting yoursoul withlockjaw inrunners oftetanus in aterminal spiral cordoned offfrom the worldwith all theagony of knowingi will neverbe more than astain in the shapeof a broken heart

a loose button hanging by a thread incapable of serving the one purpose for which it was stamped surveying the crevice in the couch which will one day be its resting place with the other lost mementos of a life spent hiding i am a button hanging off of god’s waistcoat swaying over an existence […]

he knew he was just embarrassing himself giving his heart and soul to someone who had nothing to say to him dodging the concerned messages which asked questions he couldn’t answer simply because he knew less than anyone else all while he tried to ignore what was going on right in front of his unbelieving […]

i tell the sparrows to send my love rather than let my words go ignored for days my heart has always been stubborn despite evidence shown

sadness washes through me in half frozen inverse waves how badly i yearn to crumble swept away with all the other forgotten trinkets more valuable in dreamdander vistas than in reality i do not want to feel this way but i learned long ago the universe doesn’t give a fuck how anyone feels

the world is indistinct awash in a silvery glow a solid wall of white noise sparrows stuck in static repose flickering madly i scream my love in pixelated bursts which simply scatter to stinging grit sweetly meant to caress her cheek instead left raw from innate irritance

my poetic is bruised and battered in dire need of tender loving care my poetic is hanging itself an inflamed uvula making swallowing a difficult chore i am far too ugly today for pretty words to fall fully formed from repugnancy

when her world fell apart i was the only thing she willingly sacrificed and all i can do is hope it made things better if this were the first time i was the easiest stress removed i would be met with great sorrow instead i realize i am transient despite flowery phrases muttered the great […]

the quiet has settled deeply the spent firework sits remembering lighting up the night sky with his friends to sit tattered holding tightly to momentarily shining bright before his spent essence drifted off into nothingness all alone

a free floating cloud of chaos aimlessly drifting surrounded by glorious beacons crackling manically alive and humming with momentary existence unfiltered wonder in a sea of smiles a disparate group of beautiful misfits and the mad fool lost in laughter next year never seemed so far away

occasionally silence is the answer left unread as succinct as a goodbye

when i am ugly small sad lost i don’t need told how i am wrong just reassured it will be okay eventually i can make it through anything as long as i know it will all be okay sometimes it doesn’t feel as if anything will ever be okay again and the silence only compounds […]

so many friendsare coming to townfellow writersconverging fora conventiona confluence ofsome of my favoriteink stained souls i am anxiousbut not miserably soexcited bythe many hugs andlate night sessionsof oneupmanshiptalking a craftroaring as an infernoinside our minds i imagine howhank would havebitched and complaineddrunkenly holdingcourt over alland i realizewe are now the onessteering our artthe ones […]

being mostly a hermit, which has gone from eccentric to acceptable over the last couple of years, the false warmth of social media filled the need for contact in an imaginary reticulation blurring reality with chemically altered additives accumulating provate data to create the perfect dissociative state pavlov’s notification unleashing endorphins with each vapid blue […]

a lone cricket sitting on the porch vibrating a song of incessant need chitinous legs a one bug cacophony in staccato refrain screaming for something i am not sure truly exists a lone poet sitting on the couch vibrating an ode to a vacuous need mind shivering a one man disaster held in love’s disdain […]

i leave strips of the best parts of myself not yet gone rancid nailed to trees so no one bothers following me into the hellscape of self sabotage i seem to willingly build around me i needn’t bother the pestilence brewing inside of my sickly soulshatter putrefies any absent adorations accidentally cast toward a fool […]

rotten fruit still life in rampant decay cold shivers wet bulbs burst in summer’s dismay silent miseries let loose a cacophony under blanketed gray empty lots of cracked devotionals awaiting a solitary ray the empty throne of abandoned divinity to whom we pray torn vocal cords in an ignoble torture of what i can’t say

blue black skies awaiting the sun an air of cannot uncontracted no clever apostrphe hung as the toads warble loud enough to wake the angry cardinals the world vibrates in nots and no’s crimson slashes screeching in defiance yet clearly uncertain as to what they are defiantly against discordant chaos an oil slick of rainbow […]

a summer storm sudden thunder as the sunlight filters between fat droplets a heavy blanket of humidity laden intoxicating disenchantments falls over me waterboarded by an oversaturation of billowing gray conscious enough after days of no sleep to know that this is an illusion everything we see is upside down and shot in black and […]

how many times can i be pushed to the side before acknowledging i am the problem i am sorry my love is a bitter taste i tried to infuse it with all the sweetness inside of me but apparently this lemon is all rind a fool is meant to love silently with no hope of […]

half an hour early sitting as wu tang explains how cash rules everything around me and i can’t help but wonder if that is the cause of this acidic pit etching misery another day in the pursuit of someone else’s dream as i scribble in the margins from another parking lot as the sun glares […]

there is no poetry to be found this morning reality is a rusted blade in the guts while beauty is not for one such as i just echoed dreamwhispers in an abandonment of adoration

i see the rash of carboncopies aseriesofpaperdolls eerily similar to love’s fool hanging on every word. they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. you cannot flatter someone who cannot see themself. cut deeper right now you’ve barely left a scratch it isn’t until you see the sinew watch tendons flex when the agony […]

i am an empty vessel untouched except by a thin layer of dust a vase filled with wilted blooms amidst a garden of beautiful blossoms the bucket hanging itself from a dried up wishing well suspended by the frayed rope of unreciprocated heartshivers

woke with tears already brimming obscuring the sunrise as a storm swept over and i already fell apart before managing to turn off the buzzing alarm this vortex of raw emotion cuts a thousand spinning blades across the tender edge of amother day in hell spent feeling everything too intensely while calling out to the […]

i realized i wasn’t lost so much just guided by long dead stars a broken astrolabe a fool confused staring at a map where exes marked fragments of myself impossible to reassimilate those figments of love’s imagination are safer with them rather than a bipolar bard following a compass which only ever steered me fartherandfurther […]

last night the wildflowers crept across dream leaving scars in pollenated withdrawal this morning the coffee is the second most bitter miasma to cross my tongue after waking and calling out to the nothingness pressing down on all sides

i read sylvia in the mornings to remind myself there is beauty in the world i read hank right before bed so i know i am not alone in this teeming disenchantment it’s easier staying awake all night long angry with the promise of joy during the day i do what i can to numb […]

no one cares if it hurts the now is insignificant how beautifully did you bleed were you able to leave one faded stain somedays it just fucking hurts still i cut disappointed at the trickle starving in the dark praying as only an atheist at his wit’s end can pray.

a day off in the middle of the week has my cicadian rhythm of screaming relentlessly for love before burying myself for another seven years a touch off but going from monday to sunday to monday again having to acknowledge it is tuesday is a garrote around my brainstem leaving circadian dismay in a lurch

daylighta crimson slashrefracted acrossan unwillingskyline ofconcretecondemnations i see the wolvesfanglesshowling in illfitting sheep suitsproclaimingsalvation in theclink of coinagereplacing couragewith connivingbartering eternitywith lower case t’s downtown is emptybut for foolswith homeless heartsbegging for changeincapable of itimpoverished soulswith faded signspromising paradisesunwanted and unseen

the sun sleeps sweet blasphemer nestled beneath the dark horizon far from the dead eyed glare of divinity cast in tepid boredom lost among light pollution in a settling of orange hued smog a blanket tucking the sleepy city in with carbon monoxide flavored kisses and a hint of eternity in whispered odes to happily […]

sprinting nude from room to room tossing stones to shatter the dejection of living in a glass house dodging dispersions in a demure deluge of daydream damnations a death defying amateur daredevil taking greater and greater chances just to try to faintly feel fucking anything at all an atheistic prayer hedging bets as the call […]

in the throes of a story i channel sheer voltage scarring the vellum as my quill scratches beautiful catastrophes in incremental sorrows i am a human lightning rod a vessel for this madness to course carelessly leaving etchings of haunting images scorched into the earth around me battered with wispy tendrils of smoke rising on […]