grub

it is exhausting this inexhaustible fire sucking the oxygen from the room still i burn from within the dying ember of the very first star to simply stop when i say i don’t understand, sometimes that means everything, the metaphors make it impossible to see anything but the mud caked across my tongue, i am […]

hidden moon whispers, madly

some evenings i feel too earnestlike i could spill my every secretacross the milky way in gentleprose tucked in breathy whispersto the hidden moon high abovethe clouds there is nothing to stop the floodbuilding behind the hastilyerected levees and baby, i am waybelow sea level in the absence ofyour lips upon mine and i need […]

a second

i could not tell if it was her [eyelashes] my [heart] or the very [ground beneath me] that fluttered when she made eye contact across the crowded street but for a second briefly then gone there was a mystery /a wonder/ that seemed to suffuse the still world in the(golden nimbus)of dream as if nothing […]

dreary days

on dreary days like this the thought travels with every stinging lash of ache maybe i died expired just a spectre of promises dashed malingering in this too big bed staring up at an uncaring ceiling for eternity the ache an anchor keeping me tethered to a plane where i never truly existed outside sirens […]

a late waking for day draped in dread

i added gingerfreshly shavedto the coffee groundsthis morningan agonized skullthrobbing alongto the piteous whineof valves half rustedin my chestmy gutsfeel like an empty nettrailing behinda trawleron an ocean ofinsipid deathpullingpartially dreamt dreamsto the harborwhere all poetseventually end upon a benchas their ink flakesinto the seaof salty indignationfor words never read

an ache

there is anache it seemsto beginin my leftshoulder bladewhere it knotsalong my neckbefore stabbingdirectlyinto my brain a red hot bladethrough the butterygelatinspiked withchemicalsdelusionsand other sundry things but it begins withan ache somewherein that gapwhereif i werea real boymy heart wouldhangin an ivory cageinstead of thissawdust sackfeebly spinningin condemnation

al(i)en daydream

crystal leavessway beneaththe lavenderbinary sunsrefracting the raysinto a monochromaticarray of inverseprismatic dismayas shadows spawnin triplicateover sulfuric streams

inauguration

listen as the sheep bleat in the caref ully mani cured pen hark your newest(silver haired)messiah more familiar with /burningbush/ than bible”quotes” chase chase chase that american gleam in the eyes of the worm chewing slowly through the fetid core the nightmare in the rotted corpse of flatulentdream so begins the[latest]chapter of unraveling constitutional comeuppance […]

by his own hand

it cannot be considered drowning if it is his own hands holding him under the surface is it suicide he insists if you can’t recall having lived the sky is always fucking gray and he cannot tell if it is following him or if he is causing it in the simple sin of existing in […]

to edgar

i listenin the silencefor thattelltale hearthis glass eyestaring at mein dreamwhile he beggedme to not placethe last brickbefore the housesplit asunderand all that remainedwas the windcalling her namethe ravens peckingat the dooras the nobles burncovered in pitchbeneath the chandelierof gold bugsand apescommiting crimesmasques and amontilladoall swirlin the madnessthat itchesthe back of my brainin poem and […]

string

she held a string that impossibly wound itself around the knot at the bottom of the moon i looked admiringly at the gossamer thread seemingly woven of platinum dreamwhisper that held the satellite far above dream or heaven or any other man made lie

fish

he walked in with an aquarium in his hands set it on the bar ordered a draft reached in his pocket pulled out a small can which he tapped carefully over the fishbowl likely there is a story there but i find my interest diminish as the idiotic thing chases the multicolored flakes i’d talk […]

general custer

it seems to me general custer was an average looking man with an exceptionally extravagant mustache but incompetence is a poor look for even the finest coiffed of would be perpetuators of genocide now a half remembered punchline dead as gravedirt but a damn fine mustache indeed

the field

each dandelionhas an evil eyesurroundedby soft petalscrying pollenatedbrimstone tearsunblinkingas the windblows throughthe nightmare fieldof fetid daydream

0.454kg

the world demandsits pound of fleshbut i am badat conversionsso i setmy heart on the scalein time for sobekto snap me updeemed unworthyas the sands swirlbeneath thisphotonegative delusion

obsolete

don’t wish upon me i am nothing more than an obsolete satellite burning up upon re-entry just a sad excuse for real crying while listening to sad songs sitting miserably at the corner of anxious weariness and charging windmills

i am normal, just not traditionally or technically

being different is something to be respected to be channeled embracing thinking angularly rather than shunning what is not understood it can take shape as a myriad of mental maladies excused by chemical imbalances brought on by trauma regulated medicated encouraged to try and just be normal but maybe through a different medium the miswired […]

brink of dream

every night the neighbor drops something the same something i assume it is his phone but sometimes in the middle of sleepless nights i wait to hear it fall to know i am not sleeping seconds tick by in strange dilation when the world outside is silent the tocks do not seem to equal the […]

la(in)somnia

i have lain still unmoving unbreathing through an evening where fhe world went completely silent no traffic no planes no wind through the chimes just my pulse in my ears i thought at first have i gone deaf am i asleep merely dreaming i lie awake blanketed in quiet i go outside it is cold […]

wesley willis, chicago poet

wesley was fromanother plane of existencea schizophrenicthat madesimplestrange songsyou couldn’t helpbut smile duringand he wouldheadbutt his fansso there wasnothingnot to loveabout the earnest poettelling storiesabout urge overkill showsor rock and roll mcdonaldsscream, dracula, screambeguiling simplicityhiding the geniustrapped behindhis madness rock over londonrock on chicagowesley willis, chicago’s secret poet

between heartbeats

we occupythe momentsbetween notesas ryo playsin the silencebetween heartbeatsthe instant beforethe synapse sparks slow dancingwith youas the worldstares at the high-hatshiverunaware of anythingbut you andthe wildflowers in your smile

ojos vacĂ­os

went to the palm reader in the barrio searching for a bit of direction in a rudderless world she looked startled as i entered the room as if i was the one thing she hadn’t expected to see the candle flames fluttered in the chill breeze as she gestured me to the open seat across […]

naked (the koi)

i strip back so much i wonder at my own insubstantiality the breeze rustles through my ribcage making my dessicated lungs flutter like wooden chimes against my stillheart silt and dreamshards scattered in a rough approximation of where a fool once sat my skin spins on the breeze like trash on the side of the […]

selfie

goose feathers fill my stomach (pickled lies) sit fully formed behind {my maggot lips truffled denials in my [snout] nothing behind my \charcoal\ stare but simmering incompetence elephant ears frame acro-magnonbrow the incredible melting manroasted on the flames of living up to his actual potential as a stain on the carpet on the waiting room […]

cracked

i watched as he stumbled unsure what was happening it seemed he grappled with spirits beyond the scope of my reckoning then he fell his head striking the concrete his scalp cracking like an eggshell i watched the lines race over his face frozen in fear before the first piece of porcelain fell unleashing a […]

incapable

agitatedtoday easilyfrustrated start stopstutter thoughtsflightyas a caged bird i see the wordsbut the lossin translationcomes in the disconnectbetweenbrainheartandquill

the ceiling is heavy and i am tired

another feat of self medication in an effort to drown out the voices reminders of every failure every fallen tear down cheeks i only ever intended to kiss the light fragments off each slowly sliding droplet encapsulating the unintentional hurt torn through the pumice of passions extinguished another feat of pained dedication to the smiles […]

coffee in hell

it was the horn soundingthat finally took mefrom holding you closeback into the cold roomalone and dejected the battery half deadthe sound distortinginto a mocking squawksounding out through the quietstretched into anguish the pillow clutched closeno longer my lovejust a rapidly cooling reminderof the oblong natureas dream fades to reality no matter how i positioneven […]

eels

eels in my chest wriggling unrestrained wreaking havoc on internal dismays a moray lurking behind ivory ribs drenched in decedent sin coiled around the wheezing poetic heart inscribed with every word she ever wrote in dream

reasons to avoid eye contact

the lone bee of winter sorrow sluggishly flies barely able to hover over the brown stalks of summer promise unfulfilled the air smells of rain that heavy ozone scent of impending storms it has been this way for days never quite letting loose the flood impending a sail boat on the gray waves buffeted by […]

two middle fingers aren’t nearly enough

four thousand five hundred darts thrown at a swaying board on the backside of a braying incontinent jackass at times i wonder at when the well will dry when thewindchimesthebirds thewildflowersthefool thedevilthemoonthecoffee thesquirrelsthevoid will just go silent will my madness eventually reach a point where it becomes indecipherable has it already i will write one […]

frequencies

empty parking lots across the once bustling city nothing remains but stray fools spilling their guts across the broken pavement as plastic bags hover in silent judgment if i can find a way to tune the satellite array attached to my aorta i can beam this signal across the aether to find your perfect heart […]

(n)aked midnight

i dont have mucha kiltand a wilted chrysanthemuman open hearta tangled mindand the sunshinein her smile too many milestraveledthe scarsof a thousand fightshidden in hazeldisambiguationalong a pitch stained soul an ocean of wordsto drown youthe center pedestalin a pantheonto worshipin raptureon bended knee i dont have mucha couple pairs of vansanxietyan open minda poet’s heartand […]

achilles

achilles’s tendonis that historyforgetshis lover patroclusso impressedby his battle prowessand being dippedin the river styxthey ignore the heartof his tragic tale

dreamslurry

swaying with a simian gaitthe pockmarked yellow orangutanpulls itself over the eastern skyto clamber uproariouslyover the incidental frictionssparking in incessant moonlustallegorically acrossthe impudent sadnessencroaching on pentacular fieldsof viridescent vitriol ransack the outhousesdressed in rustic business attirestrutting idiotically a studwith swollen blackened testiclescocksure yet insolently shallowstrike down the bloodlust inthe nascent dreamslurryripened with irrigated trauma passed […]

recoil

the breakdown begins at the atomic level the nucleic fabric unravels a random surge of quarks spinning off into the absence between rationalities treading the edge of self destruction as seen from the vantage of the incredible molecular catastrophe wrapped in parchment skin penning the most pedantic odes in a solemn plea to the entropy […]

kerosene

if blood is thicker than water and i have kerosene in my veins rushing towards the embers floating around my steam powered heart making me nothing but a knee-jerk reactionary in the garb of foolish incomprehensibilities half as clever as he is loveable which leaves him a fraction of the nothing swelling inside waiting for […]

migrainular

i had finally found a position, head just so, body angled, foot tapping along with the stabbing in my skull, my body tuned to the exact shape needed to lessen the agony that sweeps in waves with every accidental breath too heavy or impatient blink of the eye if i believed it would help i […]

mortuary blues

parked next tothe cemeterywhere the dead leavesswirlpoltergeistsmoaning throughthe rusted iron fenceas the chill of winterthe touch of the graveand the lingeringscent of formaldehydeplaysa subtle tuneover my fleshcutting throughmy clothesto curl aroundmy indecent sins the sun isa wan reflectionof itselfas if shining withthe captured raysreflectedby the moonredirected in itsabsent malaiseas the sparrows songmocksthe squeaking wheelsof the […]

means to an ending

he returned to the pawn shop five days in a row he never spoke just stood at the counter staring down at the rings the silence stabbed at his ache on the sixth day he simply pointed at the silver band with a demure diamond chip and six feet of rope coiled above the door […]

coiled

i am coiledwoundtighter and tighteras the brass gearsin my mindkeep turningone clickat a timemy heart isbeating outsideof my chest the thoughtsturnwith the gearstarnishingthe brassuntil everydarknessfeels magnifiedi cannotfind my centeri cannotfind my calm i am atime bomband the timeris counting downand i needsomeoneto cutthe red wirebefore iexplode

self inscribed cosmos

he would run his fingers along the trackmarks on her arm, ignoring the scars of addiction, lost in the hidden design, forming new constellations on her pale night sky sketching daydreams upon her countenance of self inscribed cosmos she was floating in the warm waves, awash with pollutants that beguiled the insolence in every weighted […]

angular flames w/EC

you smile at me, sharp a sweet kitten, with a lone scared canary, to move like a razor over my constricting throat I don’t have a means to an end, just instinct and a blend of honey and lemon that makes every touch sting. There’s beautiful footage of little trapped butterflies with their wings beating […]

leathery flutters

in dream, the waxy rivulets merrily run down the candle; a tiny flame, expected only to illuminate these remains; lost in the velvet darkness a wicked soul is smoldering; hushed cries settle, silent fluttering of leathery wing. i search for you in these winding corridors bathed by the wasteland slowly simmering beneath my pulse every […]

mood ring eyes

she always knewwithin momentswhat i was feelingeven thoughi neverspoke the wordsaloudshe would walk overand put her handto my cheekwhile staring deepinto my eyesbefore knowingexactlywhether to meltinto my armsor furiouslypress her lipsto mineone leadingto the othernine timesout of tenbut it wasthe knowingof whichto lead withthat alwaysamazed me onceafter we hadfinishedwhat our lipshad startedi asked herhow she […]

consumed

carve your passion along my tender ache so the world can see that i am yours sink your teeth into my surrender as my fingers find every nuance in your inferno until my blackened hands have cleansed you of every sinful thought in the perdition of my all consuming desire to be drowned in your […]

honest

the ugly words reflect the author the beautiful words showcase the muse the sorrow shows the past while the uncertain hints at the future with every i love you i fear i poison the pot a lifetime of reminders that i never seem to be quite enough emotionally absent while silently screaming the words that […]

juniper

juniper berriesdeep blue againstthe ivory driftseach flakereflectsredirectsrefractsthe lightbuilding froma single beaminto anunfettered blindnessthat encapsulatesthe scenein pure whitenothing the juniper bushripe with berriesa snow ladenevergreen againstthe backgroundof blurredmisconceptionthe sparrowshop atopthe virgin snowuncaringthat the bountywas never fortheir greedy beaksyet imagining every sweetis theirs alone

curled up in a hell all of my own

soft motesof sorrowtwinklein the abeyancebetweentrue and false the puppybarksat every noisein the hopesthe masterhas cometo free itfrom the kennel there isan analogytherebut the tasteof amber burningon my tonguehas my mindin another placemy tonguedoingother things lost inthe pavlovian dystopiawe happily plantnever seeingthe bulbsare upside down maybe the coldhas mefeelingphilosophicalor maybethis feelingin my chestthat singsfor the chairto […]

darkness leading me to you

trapped in this four wall apartment lingering scents of her phantom perfume i lay in bed as the rains come down keeping the sky aloft with the tears that drown out the world sylvia and hank red faced screaming to wake me from this shattered dreamthistle as i never really figured out what this whole […]

the afterglow of everything falling apart

the pinatas are filled with maggots suckling on the unwrapped sweets tucked into papermache mementos the cards are filled with ink scratched reminders from another time when heroes and viilains were easily deciphered these faded photos bring back the memories when dreams were within reach and happily was ever after electrified desserts course along the […]

water myths and echos w/EC

gone, past the edge of winter, she was gone, gone, gone, a last swirl of snowflakes spinning in her passing the sparrows hop, from branch to branch, in curious titillation, the red squirrels skitter in search of forage the wind blows vaguely from the east, lackadaisically over the fields of infertile blessing The vacant stares […]

a venn diagram living in the overlay of hopeless and romantic

there is nospecific momentthat i canrecallwith any sort ofclaritywhen i becamea secondary characterin the storyof my own life at some pointthe wordsbecame the focusas i fell fartherfrom the stage lightsuntil i woke upand didn’t recognizethe collection of flawsstaring backuncomprehendingly now as istumble blindlysearching forthose thingsthe former occupantof this scarred massof ugly indignation soughtup to the […]

m is as empty as the poet

a misconception missed connections a misinterpretation in this misery of missing her misconstrued misremembered this misanthropic malady of misgiving misread in the meandering misuse of my misunderstood myopia igetlostintheundercurrents drowninginsyntax inpurposefulmistakes madebyaccidentaltruth it’scoldmyteethchatter asinconsequentialsfall

looking for you

i couldn’t figure out why i always felt a disconnect to the world around me until i found her and it all became clear my body is right here in texas my mind is lost in the words and my heart is beating two hours behind in west coast time while my eyes keep looking […]

in the quiet

in the quiet i can feel them course through my blood demons whispering soft lullabies i can hear her voice feel the crack across the supple skin of innocence in the quiet i can feel them writhe around my brain stem luxuriating in subtle despairs murmuring hatred into the lost waves of ego supplicating id […]

choir

i hear the chorus sing your praises but no matter how beautiful the words we both know it is my words that constrict your lovely little scar shaped heart every tragedy written line by line down the yellowed papyrus of my soul spells a certain doom as yet untasted so savor the sweet songs they […]

hell is reflected in every shimmer of pain

the factories along the highway manufacturing clouds that billow over the grimy cityscape angry faces scowl trapped in single file morose lines of rumbling vehicles spitting noxious vapors horns gleaming in the dull red glow of rivers of lava as the skies open to let the tears of the damned smudge the filth of heartashes […]

woke

i woke in the middle of the night to see the wispy image of a woman staring down at me from the ceiling her features were familiar her eyes rained pure hatred in waves that seemed to contort ferally as she whispered my every failing into the solemn dark the rust dried, a trail running […]

privacy fence

the privacy fence around my heart is not just to keep myself and those i love protected but to prevent the accidental affections from crushing each of us under the weight of false adorations frequently i cut myself on the jagged shards that once formed a real person now nothing but a collection of scars […]

shared

every second she shares is a gift to be savored not a trifle to be squandered in the hours they become love means not being taken for granted but understanding that out of billions of souls two lights responded in harmony and that’s awfully fucking special

lips

in the end no matter how much you scrub my fingerprints rewrote part of your dna now when the lights flicker or the breeze turns cool across the nape of your slender neck you only remember my breath my lips the way you forgot to breathe when i sat with my hand high on your […]

rotten

the core of the apple has rotted through as domestic threats wrapped in falsehoods storm the capitol and i am sad as we roast the corpse of a bald eagle over the flames of the constitution burning in a dumpster what did we allow to happen in the land of the freebase home of the […]

quicksand soul

the deeper ingrained into my heart you become the more i worry about how my quicksand soul will swallow you whole i vacillate between my need to pour my love across your tattered seams and the knowledge i break everything i touch so please accept my sincerest apologies as i spill my feelings across the […]

coffee and her

the early morning ritual for the fool plays out the same most mornings with variable rates of anxiety wake an hour before the alarm lay halfway between states of consciousness as his heart sings a soft serenade lost in her until the alarm sounds coffee drips as the shower sputters to life the electric razor […]

bedside table

she keeps my heart on her bedside table so in the middle of the night she can listen to the murmurs where my dreamself whispers the lines i can never get quite right to the moon who understands this longing that tugs at my pulse much the same way he can pull the seas but […]

lost in transition

she used to sign every note with x’s and o’s a lipstick kiss in lieu of her name a hint of her perfume hovering just above so when i awoke she had given me a kiss the last note was still signed with exes and ohs the lipstick replaced by a cursive good bye tear […]

nebulous(lost in you)

i fell into the whorls of her fingerprints running down my side evaporated into mist as her breath touched my skin drowning in the storm signalled by the thunder in my chest the lightning in my veins while the scent of her pollen drifting along my psyche keeps this smile stapled to the edges of […]

pinwheels

./redyellowbluegreen/ the pinwheel spins under the weight of my breath /redyellowbluegreen/ am i just a punchline scribbled in the margins of your defecit[heart] a pinwheel to be spun /redyellowbluegreen/ by the weight of your absent affection as you affect a caring{demeanor} the maple seeds spin lazily to the ground cyclopean helicopters of latent syrupy promise […]

a(n)other morning ode to her

in the quietest part of the morning when the world is still sleeping except for the poets and thieves as the sun sits just beneath the horizon as the sky transitions from black to shades of ultraviolet wonder while the coffee brews in sputtering drips my heart screams your name so loudly i fear to […]

draped in brimstone

she set me free like lincoln freed the slaves with a wink and a nod to the camera she saw my future sloppily written on the palms of my hands before carefully scrubbing them clean as i slept she was an angel draped in brimstone, smoldering footprints wherever her feet touched the ground, her tarnished […]

wake up crying

some morningsthe pillowclutched tightmakes a poorsurrogatefor wheni wake upcrying buried inunansweredprayerslikean avalanche ofabandonedcicada huskswith faintlipstick kissesgone graywith dust

misquoting emotion

she was speaking neruda while i was quoting hank spanish moss draped over the bedside lamp adding an ambiance to the mood she was trying to set while i stomped around shaking bottles for one more sip my brain fixated on the her we both knew she wasn’t she whispered keats in nonsensical rhymes while […]

binary heartspasm

into the unblinking eye eternally crusted with sleep unslept clouded with dreams undreamt falling into the infinite miseries in unending waves of incessant woe on a cloud impossible in its regularity lies a pomegranate dirt still clinging to the crimson bruise colored skin syncopated binary heartspasms incorporated into the red stained fingers she playfully runs […]

as empty as every line

i give youevery ounce ofmy agonyshareevery bit ofmy lovelet you swimunencumberedthrough myinfinite sorrow i ask fornothingin return but youinsiston more anything thatisn’t left tosteamon the concreteunderthe dusk skiesis hidden awaywith alavender bowfor her there isnothingto see hereno oneto bethis brokensex dollwith anoverabundance ofvernacularfailingsis less thanthe sum ofhis everyfruitlessendeavor just anugly stain onpoetic longingas empty asevery […]

vultures pretending to be songbirds

i wear the scars of every incidental adoration in the colorless indentions between the lines written for the her they project themselves into carelessly as tic marks form a callus in the callous disregard shown to intent scrubbed so many unwanted lipstick stains from pink flesh that the weeping wounds from misplaced affection leaves every […]

baby teeth in the branches of civility

light flares for the blind sound drums for the deaf there is a movement coming fresh linen for the lepers beneath the gnarled branches of the old twisted oak a pestilent rejoinder from sickness long ago baby teeth hang from memory filament to chatter incessantly on the foul morn breeze bemoaning each tawdry sunbeam refracted […]

her words/my skin

her quicksilver tongue runs along the indecent curve of my feral desire her smile a razor carving my inferno into bonfires to guide her fingers around my heart her breath across my flesh my scars erupt in neon my pulse adapting to her rhythm her jagged pierces my smooth, our venomous blood no longer sated […]

rapid cycling

external stimuli triggered episodic rapid cycling self destruction is more addictive than any synthetically structured intoxicant you bring your smile i will bring the matches catch a wave maybe the mania can wash us far enough from shore your flotsam to my jetsam the embers float specks of civilization like pollen wrap your legs around […]

a refusal to swim

the trash blows happily on the cold wind swirling in the causeway as the fool squints up angrily at the bright gray sky hoping for a stray sunbeam to illuminate the shadows across his brain he is learning to cut the things that serve no purpose out of his mind with the surgical precision of […]

time left alone w/EC

I dreamed of the weight of your hand on my hip and a labyrinth of silences tenderly landscaped by harsh words and solitary sentences i dreamed of the salt of your flesh on my tongue and of kharma and tao as portrayed in the subtle way the moon controls the tides I’ve been a peony […]

4/5ths

i wokewith a wreatheof wildflowerslovingly woundaround my heartevery beatsending herpollen deeperinto every nookof my stainedglass soul possession isfour fifthsof the lawand i am hers

inches

she claimed the damsel role leaving him to twirl his mustaches as he tied her to the railtoad tracks of another insipid tale of love gone sour leaving him in a flux that saw a flood of would be rescuers cutting the ropes he never saw them tying as he pined away for something that […]

pitter patter of deflated dream

lost in the pitter patter of penguins dancing across the hoarfrost covering my mind sidestepping the rain falling over this concrete mausoleum disguised fitfully as a city the temperature falls with every aching breath expelled down empty streets in crystalline malaise the potholes threaten to swallow me whole to drown in the discarded daydreams that […]

dream

the ugly truth is i have killed some of the most beautiful dreams in my absence but never has there been a dream half as lovely as you which scares the hell out of me i don’t want to wake, but i am getting better everyday, maybe because this is one i believe in

word/salt

every word that dribbles from my poetic longs to sleep in your lovely ventricle to be swept along through your arteries to finally nestle lovingly into your brain maybe this one will convey what it means to me when i whisper my love in the middle of the night these words will saturate your dreams […]

frustrated

no matter how tightly i squeeze my eyes shut how earnest the prayers muttered to the silence above the absence within whispered to whomever wherever whenever the only answer is the same heaven is a dream for good boys to chase hell is all around us everyday so i don’t waste my breath on hopes […]