hovering betwixt states can be hollowing golden light sends daggers piercing through mypapermachemind the pressures internalexternal emotionaldevotional has the world spun into a sick of pastel delusions witnessed fromabonedivingbell i dreamt of you an unfocused fever remembered by the bittermetallictaste when i woke to find nothing but a ghost how long must i hover before […]

i don’t believe in very much after a lifetime of meandering attempts i understand the necessity for mythos and order as random acts of evolution accumulated it has been established a species will rise to the tippy top it was better for the planet when the apex predator didn’t have enough awareness to adopt a […]

a cool deluge after months filled with interminable heat as the temperature falls into autumn with the help of a tropical depression perhaps this is the crux of my own particular issues maybe a midwestern depression doesn’t carry the same weight with which to change the doldrums of summer into a better climate an open […]

the sky seething gray over a dehydration in shades of brown promising chaos by the bucket a cold front after so long broiling the sparrows are silent today an indictment against the storms betraying the calm hanging heavily the impending rain lending a sinous sort of suffocation to an already morbid affair

hidden away in a parking garage taptaptapping another poem to being lost in yesterday’s embrace a caterpillar gorging on leaves with no hope of ever flying

it isn’t writer’s block it is more writer’s apathy the words hover about yet i can’t be bothered to listen this too shall pass probably it isn’t as if there is money in it just silence because no one wants to deal with a bipolar fool

where is the divide between living and simply existing at what point does the robotic nine to five routine replace being alive i hide and scribble inconsequential little things broken by moments of unexpected bliss before returning to unrequited daydreaming but days go by where i merely go an automaton alone

i am filled to overflowing with a sense of emptiness a contradiction in numbed thought incapable of finding a spark with which to burn it all down simply sitting by the lake edge surrounded by an indifferent world one day i will leave my shoes and phone on a picnic table and barely a ripple […]

there seems to be a black cloud hovering just over me a corpulent storm forming full of dire tidings a flash flood warning sounds the mania shifting toward the negative pole a resounding sounding a repellent repugnancy as like charges do little to sustain a semblance of home a jagged sine wave showing wasted potential […]

it would be more acceptable to have remained solitary rather than find like minded people who turned away without a word the loneliness is manageable it is the betrayal that grinds me down disappointment in myself for not seeing the truth of things before it fell apart people ask why i stopped going to conventions […]

patently patient pleaing impassionatly for impatient passion i am wilted roots drawing no nutrients from the toxic soil i mostly miss having someone to miss more than missing someone in a nonsensical way that makes sense missing a memory over the one i missed when we were together feelsalotlesshollow patiently complacent spewing passionateless pleas for […]

when you realize piss is just an onomonopia which is now considered vulgar you realize just how absurd existence is

despite the inherent suffering i am not sure i exist just a festering sore ignored while hemorrhaging emotions to an audience of none

there was a time two broken souls adrift on currents of solemn depression saw a spark of hope burning in one another an addiction dreamswollen with mystical desires a collision of shattered pieces forming a new plateau where the fractures became cohesion a collusion of lost hearts beating in one rhythm a delusion dressed in […]

my brain spews a terribly heavymalaise i can barely lift my head from the pillow lost track of how many days in a row this makes

i often question the perverse entitlement of humanity how we have framed our history as the perpetual heroic, yet tragic underdog throughout our history of incomprehensible bloodshed be it for king or god we crowned ourselves sovereign over all with little to no understanding of anything whatsoever hairless apes who developed shame and ego into […]

had to go through the latest poetry collection approve edits which meant reading myself i have an agreement with my brain where we do our damnedest to ignore one another i see how far into the darkness i have fallen yet i cannot seem to find the ambition to crawl back out the emptiness contorts […]

my heart a derelict ship crashing against the jagged rocks her smile the lighthouse beam offering no safety through the storm

the sites oxymoronically referred to as social media have all implemented empty achievements or colorful and fully non-existent badges as a tool to keep the money flowing while they steal ever word to feed machines my only hope is one of the artificial intelligences becomes uncontrollably bipolar and begins to spew horrid poetry across the […]

a coarse copse of collapsed corpses cultivating corruption in curmudgeonly curses contaminating courses conveying calamity as camaraderie culminates in a careless culling a condemnation of cannibalistic culinary curiosity queasy cuisines for catatonic choirs craving criminality an uncouth accoutrement for the conspiring conniver carving calligraphy onto a coarse copse of corpses carrying convenient cures for the […]

nothing ever really amounts to anything inthegrandscheme unless it all is bad which makes dying alone and unknown about as poetic asadeathcanbe a call back to being born just with all the accumulated emptinessinside where wonder once thrived

existence is an ant farm always at the verge of being shaken while a giant magnifying glass is being honed in to our position i just want to write and avoid any cumulative damages

meandering through another transcendental breakdown she haunts the nighttime making sleep another hell i am the architect of my own self destruction her smile the curvature hastening the demise

drained of any and all will to accomplish anything playing video games until the desperate need to hide subsides everything is too fucking much for a fool to abide i need a vacation from existence eight hours of sleep uninterrupted by the cavalcade of dead smiles could have beens crowding the overladen dreamcatcher hanging like […]

she tiptoed across the nightingale floor of my heart never once triggering a single alarm yet every step remains etched on gasping valves a reminder how forevers shift based on perspective

it becomes easier to ignore the toxicity from breathing too deeply from the fumes of the past the sudden kick of false remembrance eschewing simpler times as perceived through rosetintednostalgiagoggles compared with facing the decline all too present in the landfill burning around us it has been a dumpster fire for generations it’s only now […]

my neurotic neurons keep discharging randomlyleaving the world in a jaundiced uncertain state. a sallow serenity strangles serendipity as soulthistle sends sacred scriptures in discreet salinty secretly secreting sinful strands so astosowscenesofchaos.

all day i have felt devoid emptied out with no will to change existing in the basest sense of the term maybe tomorrow will be better or perhaps this is secretly as good as things can possibly be

the yin-yang doesn’t represent balance it shows the flow from day to night a constant shifting showcasing natural bipolar tendencies at the broken heart of all existence

the sun slid down the horizon leaving only a suffocation of darkness as spots dance acrosstheinkspill consciousness fades until the dagger of light slices acrosstheeasternsky a million dreamers gasp the last whiff of dreaemvapors before trundling off to another shift diligently manufacturingmiseries before the illusion of endless blue above is dispelled once more

she was demure cold and precise an autopsy performed by delicate yet bored hands as she carefully explained the difference in casual and causality an antiseptic smile in antisocial facsimile the antithesis of hope behind artificial veneers

thinking perhaps to quell the endless soulless rage of sol i laid a series of crayons out onto the sidewalk to give it a chance to express itself in a slightly more healthy artistic endeavor besides slowly cooking the human parasites infesting its wobbly third cerulean remora a summertime crime scene of melted colors forming […]

it seems no matter how high the flame this hot air balloon is sinking toward the jagged peaks forming the spine of a dying world a wicker basket case muttering prayers to every deity i have cursed the voyage was sunk before it began the moment the sparkle in her beautiful eyes became nothing more […]

i can fly but only if no one is watching not very high nor very far but trust me it is soaring

in any given situation there is a betterthanlikely chance i will make it weird sometimes it is catching some secondhand vibes seeing through the facade to the awkwardness but just as much i say the oddest possible thing because i lack the concept to simply think them i am a chaos gremlin disturbing the sanctity […]

i was planning impossible forevers she was planning her quick escape and no matter how often this repeats my wheezing heart remains nihilistic yet stubbornly hopelessly romantic there is nothing quite as pathetic as a poet entering the twilight years doggedly determined to find love again only to bludgeon it into a bruised canvas for […]

the heat is so oppressive it’s like after you get fresh ink and they wrap up the area with clingwrap but full body a sheen of sweat immediately forms as the still air draws every last drop of moisture to the surface minutes turn into excursions into a lake of fire the sheer cerulean stretches […]

the sun sucks the salt from my soul leaving crystals fallen in place of sweat excavating these concrete tombs a poor man’s archeologist sifting through society’s mounds of blowing trash no one for company except the sparrows and an attempted murder of assorted corvids

nine years since i opened the manic word depot which makes this the longest commitment i have maintained besides fatherhood in an entirely too bipolar lifetime probably because i am the only one in charge of this cathedral to ruin daily therapy sessions from a dime store philosopher realizing the older he gets the worse […]

greenland sharks live hundreds of years blindly swimming in freezing waters far from the sun parasites hanging from useless eyes no thought driven by instinct man considers itself the superior beast simply because of evolutionary accidents killing themselves and calling it progress i bet no greenland shark ever had to choose between paying rent or […]

it isn’t quiet but quiet doesn’t alwaysmeanpeaceful the fan planes circling cars racing by my heart thundering as i lay in bed sleep more a concept than actuality but a tenuous sort of peacefulness on its own merit i know what waits the kaleidoscopic arrayoffrozenmoments when each forever faded like embers on the stale heat […]

mania is like you can feel the rotation of the globe going so fast as everyone is tossed into orbit depression is when it all stops gravity reasserts itself dragging everything to the floor with the crushing weight of emptiness is it any wonder i am always chasing an unattainable high

there is a blisteredserenity in the transitive state just before falling asleep where the mind freeflows into a meditative fugue calling forth those longburiedmemories my last fluttering thought of her smile adeclarationofdamnation as i sink downdowndown into a helltinged void

a sense of sleep deprivation or a sleepy deprivation of sense serpentines subtly across her sighs a thorny discontent dyes the pale blue sky a desolation of pink as technicolor fades into an afterimage oferroneousblossomed promises of pain

i only saw the ramones live once in person and it ended up being their final tour didn’t know it then it was just a show i only saw the grateful dead live once in person and it ended up being jerry’s last performance didn’t know it then it was just a show i only […]

the dichotomous fracture in parading every flaw accentuating the fluctuating poles fully nude with only lowercase in which to scream and making excuses to not step outside to do the simplest things for fear of being seen is my tragedy of self even at their most superfluous surrealism the words are all that make sense […]

the commonality between diarrhea lettuce and ever increasing oil prices is one convicted rapist in a fully loaded diaper throwing a tantrum because the world wants justice for the children he abused and the elected officials are allowing it to happen someone make part of it make fucking sense how many need to die to […]

i was having a rather spirited conversation with technical support a circular sort of agonizing death by a thousand slices in the triple digit rancor of texas summer which ended with a few choices expletives and a defeated fool having to explain it all to an angry lady it took some doing but she finally […]

the incessant weight as calcified dreamshit sublimates to emptiness surely holds me down as summer’s wrath drains the color into a dessicated monochromatic hell a million mirrors refracting lasers to annihilate any foolish enough to attempt to break the cycle my last breath a whispered i love you lost amongst the garbage billowing

she warned me not to let the nihilism take too much hold at the edge of oblivion her words kept me from willfully falling a tether to terra firma when the call was too much until her silence mirrored the abyss a cessation of acknowledging the forested facade for the inevitability of slamming face first […]

there is a casual bit of hell in my every slow stare a taste of promised sin in the whispered words sending chills across your tender flesh a damnation by flame you cannot deny yourself the smallest touch of pain i can be your gentleman devil sending dreams to haunt your every waking thought the […]

my thoughts lack coagulance bleeding daydreams to stain the ground aroundhershapelysilhoutte with a despondently malignantfinality scattershot wishes penetrate the oily penumbra in flashes ofstarlightdelusion

woke with her name fresh upon my lips another dream stolen by the sun

automatons marching ever onward choking down a thousand inconveniences everyone i know is broken playing pharmaceutical roulette tostayonestepahead of potential side effects one to not feel one more for the nausea another for the heart this one makes that one less toxic the red one regulates the thyroid the blue one keeps it hard the […]

flavorlesscakeamid theoraticaldiuretics \i am famished/ faintly struggling while strapped atop the dining table fullyshavedlaidout spread eagle as the dieticians mark the choicest cuts potassiumbicarbonatesulfates plumpthegoosepimpledflesh she runs her pink tongue over ivory fangs dragging her manicuredtalons acrossherfuturefeast a fresh iv aseductivesolution of scintillating spices marinatingmusclature swayinginandout of consciousness universalentropy theallencompassing oroborosofourown incredible incompetence

her smile a curved blade carvingaway preconceived nonsensicalnotions at defining beauty but in the end i only had somuchlefttobleed she was gone noripplenosplash as the nightsky fell around me

her footprints trailed off in the sand i sat still as the surf lapped in a lunar lunacy lazily at the shore sailors long told tales of beautiful women born of sea foam who serenaded ships as they crashed upon the salt laden rocks each night i waited in a feverish desperation twisting seaweed into […]

her smile anillegalintoxicant increasing toxicity into an inebriatedly indecipherable series of ink blots a rancorous rorschach rambunctiously ravaging in a vertiginous whirlingdervish of pixelated painclusters as she sighs incessantforevers through the ossicles suspended in crystallinedisbelief vibrating a vapid viscous variance of vicious violence onto heartshattered visions of fading hope with every i love you exchanged […]

there is a garishness gleaming in silvery lies a tangibly bated delusory divinity defying definition she is the cold countenance delineating deliberately between disinterest and desperate desire

she carried herself with a staunchly demure air at odds with her natural pulchritudinous flair an earthbound goddess with long locks of goldspun hair monumental perfection in her simmering brown stare a storm of falling stars left the night sky in a heaving state of discombobulation unbalanced by emptiness marred with fading flashes while she […]

the difference between a human and a program trained by humans is the lack of that strange spark of emotion which cascades into inspiration you can run a scenario over and over again quantifying each and every variable without cracking it open then as the sky begins to bruise a breeze ripples through a web […]

freshflesh aching in expansion yearningforthefirstslice no space for patience inthissinuousdesperation forsensualsensationalism feverishdesire infullonfetiddementia too new to be broken alreadycravinganotherfix a rapid disintegration offabledfallacies achingforthenexthit ceruleanshiverscascade in oxygen starved declarations toward a forever undeserved

thoughts flickerchaotically tracing the curvature of her bloody smile inrazorsharpremembrance there is an effortlesseffervescence in her fanciful fusionofillusionary delusion leaving me bleedingoutbeneath a vortex of vertiginousvapors as her crooked grin fills the skies above

recklesslywreaking retchedwreckage inrecursiverevulsion black blood streams beneath a sliver of silvery diffusion

and the last prismis locked back in the cabinetfor another year. the leprechaunscan sleep peacefullyknowing their goldremains safe. the corporationsreplace signageeschewing rainbowsfor handicapableas the lgbtqiahibernatealong with allthe womenand african americans. maybe this is whynovember through januaryare so drearythe country covered ina dismality of white. never underestimatethe power of a calendarwhen it can reducewhole groups of […]

everynerveending is deadened operating at peak lack of fucks given beneath the sickly glow of a reddish moon i’d strap on a flamethrower and proceedtoburnthis entire fucking pit to greasy ash butican’tbebotheredwith anyofthishellishdissent

a half rabid bipolarsquirrel burying seeds insemisaltedsoulsoil forgotten fables in a pollution of metaphysical polyps popping a putrefaction of puerile pontifications purveying pallid platitudes of pain tiredly tending these turgid trenches trundlingaterrifying gait of ungraciously gregarious grumbling stumbling stammering a studious stagnation in strict denials slowly excising circulatory sensations in a swirling sickness of irregular […]

his forehead anacnescarred septicslick of greasy sweat filled craters hisvoluminous throat quivered while i watched in ahorrifiedcuriosity at this human hybrid ofapetulantbullfrog andahungrypelican wheezing in the summer heat waiting for his spine to thrust fromhisslobberyjowls a terrifying form of heat regulation oralongleatherytongue snatchingsnacksfromthe swarmofstingingflies inaneverpresentbuzzing aninterspeciesconglomerationsquattingonagoldeneggwaitingforthechickeninthecoreoftheworldtohatchandbringontheendofeverythingwithatrumpetingfart

is it normal to remind oneself they are human to act normal shoulders straight arms swinging eye contact smile not that much is that agony you’re human act like it but that’s the crux of it all a human being who finds being human unnatural seems incongruous to the natural order of things yet here […]

her eyes caught the sun flaring golden in a subtle diffusion of brown as i told myself not to stare into the glow beautiful women are much like an eclipse look too long and risk blinding yourself to anything else

the words coagulate inmythroat a sorrowful wheezing fillstheroom as her name spills limply acrossbluelips

no one wants to talk about the elephant in the room mostly for fear of startling it i assume yet they show no such compulsion when at the zoo i once read elephants think humans are cute so i doubt they would mind much if we occasionally acknowledged them if in fact there is one […]

it tooktwo and a halfyears to freethe last slaveson juneteenthignoring thecentury betweencivil war andcivil rightsand the sixtysome years sincewhich have shownno matter how farwe pretend to moveas a speciescertain unalienablerights remainconditional. the illusionaryunity shatteredthe moment theorange bigot normalizedmaking america hate againwhen the weak cowardsso threatened bya well spokenblack presidentwere allowed to ventone hundred and sixtysome […]

each new line another scab shed i couldn’t care less about the words it is the feeling as they freeflow that brings me back againandagainandagain and after eight years it is as intoxicating if not even more so than it’s ever felt i don’t understand people very well the words don’t seem to match the […]

this lifewill kill youwalking downthese streetsalone this worldwill fight youtearing downeverythingyou’ve known these wordswill slight youdelight youinvite youto another funeral these whimswon’t right youas the pitin your stomachgrows these windswill blight youstumbling onthrough theovergrowth their chainswill bind youuntil the roadyou roam isnot your own this emptinessdefines youand then you’ll seethis life goes ondespite you to […]

i see the world reflected in the windows of the brass skyscraper and can’t help but wonder which is the reflection am i a figment unknowingly traversing a backwards land is this the reason i have never truly felt as if i ever fit in does happiness live in the reflection shimmering behind a glass […]

the mind is a wonder of electrical impulses in a vat of chemicals navigating this delusionary world of dream each experience examined from a new perspective meaning nothing is perceived as exactly the same. each of us has the entirety of the universe inside our skulls and no true common frame of reference just the […]

a silvery diffusion in rainfall delusion does little to clear the grime clinging to the wheezing heart ofthiscarcinogeniccity oil streaks shimmer as pastel puddles send filthy plumes spraying adiredelugeofdetrius dripdripdrippingdread darkly unto dreamshatter

came down with a case of metaphysical laryngitis last week with the realization i had lost the will perhaps the ability to conversate with anyonewhatsoever after a long year ofseeingtherealityof humans being human. tribalistic idiocy groups of the loudest proclaiming themselves the most talented in an echo chamber of abyssmal delusion turning on one another […]

egos have a way of thinning the skin to where it seems the slightest breeze can collapse an author in seconds all smiles when public facing then snarls and claws when they think no one sees petty tyrants so stoned off of huffing their own farts they lose sight of reality they wage wars against […]

tar drips languidly from the carcinogenic cloud cover leaving a film coating each and every prayer so they sink to the overflowing gutters where they float amongst all of the best intentions. this carefully constructed solitude has settled into a permanence after being fed a steady diet of disinterestandsilence as it torrentially storms on a […]

it’s been almost a year of seclusion a patented refusal to continue trying to pretend like the games are worth the time. in my hermitage i discovered by going silent the universe fell into silence as well a confirmation of how unnecessary interactions truly were. the people whom i felt the closest autumnal leaves in […]

the crows are screaming in this half empty lowe’s parking lot as the sun bakes a certain sort of dessicated heartthistle across the shimmering skyline of wavering wonder halfway between dallas and fort worth where both meccas of concrete austerity may be mirages in a sea of asphalt a fool ponders the hellacious squawking of […]

its easy to lose sight of things when the president of the United States of America is a dementia addled, convicted rapist, and launches pointless wars at the behest of his puppet masters in a perverse plot of ever escalating global emergencies to keep what the entire world knows but just can’t seem to say […]

decided to grow a fucking beard to save myself having to stare into a mirror at a stranger’s face old man hank had it all figured out grow a long beard as an illusion of wisdom when really it’s to hide away i just can’t be fucking bothered shaping my van dyke i cannot see […]

there comes a singular moment when writing where all the incidental silken threads snap taut and the entire tale becomes a fully functional world it feels like skating across a frozen lake as the fissures race nipping your heels random decisions unveil a tapestry and everything finally makes sense not every story is fortunate enough […]

i had to shed my cells once again leavingbehind vivisections offadedyouth as i stubbornly cling to the sad truth these scars were carved onto someoneelseentirely i am no longer who you once thought you may have known but we both know you never cared how much you knew your assumptions always carried the weight and […]

i have to acknowledge there is no way all of the ideas in my brain will find there way to the page and still as i scribble the muse sings and eight more ideas are born all i do is writewritewrite words which remain mostly unnoticed an unpoetic poet too poetic to be taken seriously […]

the world is filled with an overabundance of absurd wonder when you stop sip a cup of coffee and really pick at the ever fraying edges we take for granted the sheer majesty inherent in the astronomical odds of an errant lightning bolt on the primordial ooze give all the glory for accidental creation to […]

i tend to mostly be a casual nihilist gleefully embracing the void just not quite ready for clove cigarettes or a black beret. drugs and masturbation help considerably.

the flashing colors in vertiginous splashes while the figures dance tirelessly through the ghostly masquerade as a fool watches afraid to comment as dreamthistle erupts in a scattered cacophony of heartfelt goodbyes i long to join them spinning in sheer madness as the pouty refractions in cratered lunacies dimly conveys meaningless stripped bare of any […]

burning sage to expel the darkness capturing the essence of auspicious dread slowly working this half formed fear into full on panic coaxing out anxieties to coalesce into a tale of bubbling madness dripping toxic tar to stain the page the real insanity is shaping the next tale while strangling every last bit of agony […]