pushing the door marked pull

camus said that the absurd is a confrontation of the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world if we cannot be one hundred percent certain than we can only be certain in ourselves while acknowledging the only true certainty is in uncertainty thus humans swim just above this ever present uncertainty electrified gelatin […]

garde(n)ing

i churn the ugliness i see in the mirror out the window all around me into pellets of melancholic beauty that i spit over the fence to grow like weeds just out of sight infusing each poetic mumbling with a sense of self worthlessness at odds with my all encompassing love for her the scent […]

seahorses clamor in ashen remorse

a faint shivering courses coarsely cursing in cursive down open palms where fingertips smolder like cones of opium incense intensely incensed retroaggressively progressed through recessionary recourse my heart is a sparrow hopping on bone a puffball of brown whistling an empty ode oafishly opining on indecent descents a canary island of mine fumes and fungus […]

sleepy kisses keep me from sleeping

tired slips between the folds in my brain coating every thought as i coax my tongue to twist the syllables of your name in a way to summon you through the electrified aether an incantation of my utmost adoration in a series of sleepy kisses dripped slowly honey across your skin a dedication in desire […]

stutterstep w/EC

the moon and stars locked in stutterstep incandescent illusion intricate delusion i sought my center there i found you What if our soulmates are poems or star songs, or the way the light bends the shadow of a tree? Or waves of a cold dark sea across tender places never touched before? The darkness inside […]

even in these endings i shout my love into seashells

there are moments when the chaos calms the random noise of a billion souls screaming inchoately quiets for a second the clock face stutters the hands shaking and it feels as if right at that instant the universe shows a defined path through the emptiness inherent in accidental existence i have been known to stare […]

roadsick

the conrete barricadeslaid in uneven rowsjut out across the centerand i cannot followthe road is driving mefarther from herfarther from sane home is a just a hazyrecollection of painsi burn my fingerprintsacross the atlas of hope following out of stateplates as they fleethis present state of distressrepressed in the throesof driving into the sunor off […]

cosmos

i carve crescent moons into doorways draw little suns in the dust on windowsills and trace comets down the walls of the hallway on my way to bed i see the stars in your eyes the swirling cosmos lacks your depth as sneak peaks a wobbly lensed hubble lost in the vacuum of space my […]

pearl farming

in my insomnial wonderings as i lay staring up into the darkness my mind mining misery forming empty verse or a question conspires to insert itself in my soft tissue sometimes causing a pearl to grow as i lacquer layers of translucency over this foreign substance subcutaneously irritating my emotional inconsistencies i know that i […]

we make love and the world calls it poetry

she paints her lips with the ashes of never kissing me gently taking away my ability to recall the taste of anyone but her she spreads glitter the crushed shells of hope across her perfect breasts and as she rocks back and forth upon me a hundred thousand prayers come to life before my unbelieving […]

dream vandals

i am consumed by the constant nibbles of my own fleeting mortality unable to sleep drifting between haunted sepulchre and hated soliloquy the marble dust clings to sweat soaked skin as i carve a last unread verse before sliding down six feet beneath the ground that remained indifferent at best to my every movement shoulders […]

rainy day

it rained today harder than it has since summer reared her angry smile i fell between the raindrops as they kicked up dust on the parched earth exploding into mushroom clouds of sparse hydration to feel the cool rain wash away the sins rivulets of tar streaming down my face always half a second too […]

skeletal hoarfrost

my eyes snapped open as the alarm sang i managed to string three hours in a row yet the tired clings to my shaky bones a thin veneer of skeletal hoarfrost i have managed to second guess my way through three near sleepless evenings tearing apart all of my life in summation repeating my mantra […]

(un)matter

i am made of matter that doesn’t seem to matter stardust from the least bright star unphotogenic photons battered and bruised mildew in the milky way mummified by distraction interred in disinterest a corpse in a copse of petrified trees a piece of trash in the cacti needles needlessly insignificant indulgently bland gas passed through […]

poetry is suicide in verses of dismay

poetry by autopoiesis a corruption of culmination trawling this stagnant stream of dead dreamers casting nets for milk-eyed lurkers beneath a thick layer of subcutaneous heart shit this fecund assortment of abandonment with rusted hooks fleshy mechanical pumps affixed to leaky tear ducts forcing fluid from ocular woe to ovulatory alliteracies carving chum from scar […]

raining ink from the god squid’s dreams

lost in the whorls of this aleatory allegory thusly inscribed in the fibonacci sequence inherent in this fossilized nautilus unscribed in lime a rhymeless misery of wanton syllabic abuse predators rest burrowed downdowndown in the silt of settled dreamshatter husks unblinking unthinking while the world is steadily sinking into the fat deposits of prepubescent godlings […]

they don’t see corpses, just dollar signs

the latest military debacle in a series of military debacles the never ending war machine doesn’t care if the results are wins or losses since the nazis the ominous threats have been a series of pissing contests measuring dicks and pretending at virtue makes me remember the vietnam vets with haunted eyes i grow up […]

seeking salvation in seven percent solutions

she doesn’t know which will draw out whatever poor bastard she has set her vacant sights upon so she vacillates shifting rapidly between bodhisattva her every movement dripping lavishly false promises of a nirvana that it seems never truly existed amd playing victim demanding attention with false tales of traumas never experienced unsure if it […]

101

i put down my last ten bucks on the trifecta for the fourth race no knowledge of what a trifecta is supposed to be or how to read the stats on the ponies but i left it up to sheer chance and as i figured as they rounded the final turn to the cheers of […]

seams

seems to be a full time job manufacturing emotional breakdowns a flurry of pleas to be seen to be heard seems to be exhausting this constant need for validation seems to me i don’t understand the machinations the prerequisites of self delusion in taking pity as a placebo to fill the spaces in a fictitious […]

passionate madnesses

i have become ensnared in these non-euclidean geometries slip sliding in between presient states of unbeing. deep beneath known gnome sanctuaries in maggot ridden constanbularies of petrified dusky wooden refrains clanging chains of rusted solidarity chatter hollowly into the chasm of midnight’s dark gaze. upon the silent wings the great owl infused with chaos crackling […]

end of summer as the world slowly dies once more

a bubbling pot of gumbo does little to ease the sorrow of a final sunday before school inexplicably begins again the dying hours of a final weekend none of us wants to end summer vacation went by far too quickly our weeks together a blur of joy before being relegated to four days a month […]

oneiric

some nights the oneiric insights speak of childhood fears some nights they show me and her the wildflowers heavy on the spring breeze as we lie staring up at the blinking lights her smile more beautiful than any constellation seen by man i learned a long time ago looking backwards is a foolish gambit there […]

sclerotic necrotizing

there is a hesitancy in the sclerotic heartbeat of the world. a rigidness in the swaying corpsedance a flayed meandering of rancid loss. as silence makes love to the gasping wheeze of sorrowful cardial detraction the calcium deficient bones of dream flake to chalk filling in the viridescent form of serpents coiled into the shape […]

repugnancy of gray

beset by shadows in this hysterical hierarchy of heavy handed harvesters and a confluence of crows there is no color in this repugnancy of gray a series of ever deepening ligature marks crisscrossing fetidly weeping wounds a cross section of infection in plasticized ergonomics wretchedly retching staining marble edifices shattering strained glass reiterations of sullen […]

nervous breakdown, now on my patreon

my friend, Shandon, took his own life a few weeks ago. he isn’t the first of my friends to choose his own way out, but it hit me harder than the others. he loved dinosaurs and Richard Kadrey. he wanted to write and was making headway. then life hit hard and everything fell apart. i […]

a listless malignancy

there are days where the golden diffusion mutes every other shade a photon bombardment leaving me bloodied and heaving unable to face the day where the anchors catch on wreckage far below the effusion a cyclical malaise of broken breaking dreamdust spirals as all but the ache slowly fade away there are nights where the […]

mondays, am i right?

i prefer mondays if given a choice of the seven days mondays suit me fine sundays are too packed with the last minute details in preparation for this newly born week tuesdays are busy things are in order but chaos reigns so the best laid plans are scattered in the undulating woe wednesdays are as […]

a stuffed bird halfway beneath the couch

he is nothing but a cat’s toy exciting while still brand new then discarded only inciting interest when he becomes the object of another’s attention a toy for a petulant cat that only wants what someone else adores feigning disinterest but always watching

arthritic brushstrokes

i am a painter combining the hues of mania and depression into new shades of endless misery i prefer the original colors deep blue depression wild lilac mania these are rivers i can navigate familiar like the back of my mother’s hand it is when they swirl i lose pieces of myself in the froth […]

vineless

i have lost track of when the tears went from joy to loss to frustration then to hope when i became dessicated bereft of liquid and only stardust fell down chapped cheeks a grape does not dream of being wine nor raisin it hangs happily part of the bunch absorbing each ray of sun it […]

a figurehead carved from pumice

i am perched a gargoyle monstrous in design ugly by necessity watching as the city sleeps i am sat upon a throne of lies self styled monarch sceptre clutched as my kingdom burns around me the executioner cuts the umbilical sending the sand to gently flow as the last connection is severed we slowly die […]

midflight

i feel the icy phantom hands grasp at my leg through the torn meniscus of hope clutching feebly trying to draw the last bit of warmth from the corpse of dream i hear the cacophonous dead as they parade goose-stepping along the scattered shattered fragment of wonder stripped callously from the wide open gaze of […]

refrain

i long to be the grass beneath her bare feet the breeze swirling in her lungs the sunlight upon her soft skin and the love making her pulse race she is my first thought upon waking my last before sleep and the spectre i chase in dream i am a fool with a carefully restrained […]

tense

i get lost occasionally i fall through the cracks in the wall or through time the past still crushes the future uncertain as i curl into a ball afraid of the now i am presently tense in this present tense anxiously anxious unable to calm my brain willfully unwilling to engage in my worries yet […]

(i)fi(n)ite

i sat staring out the window seeking to encapsulate this feeling that squirms throughout my entirety her beauty etched into my mind’s eye her laughter bubbles in my blood her voice sends shivers of ecstasy racing down my spine it is impossible to sum up someone so magnificent with a party twenty six letters there […]

the r in dnr

she raised a manicured finger towards, her phone vibrating across the desk, grabbed it and said ‘hello’ i was trapped in her small office working on the small machine ‘i don’t give a fuck what miracle the doctor performed, explain to ne exactly what DNR means’ i grab my tools and nake fir the door, […]

mondays are not for reflection

i am the product of the lower lowerclass an accidental ejaculation that sent ripples of ruin across every single soul unfortunate enough to cross my wake the rock in your shoe the itch right between your shoulder blades the eyelash in your eye a popcorn kernel wedgeds between two molars a walking headache with no […]

chrononaut

i exist in the nanosecond of coiled tension just before the second hand ticks i am a tick feeding on the potential energy inherent in every tock the instance hovering right as time itself turns kinetic spilling ink to coat the gears grinding the clock face to a stuttered stop a chrononaut of insignificance trying […]

a fly and a fool

there is a fly buzz buzzing about a tiny little pest that is certain everything in the world belongs to it unaware of the momentary nature in which even a sovereign monarch reigns as it explores this new land i bemoan each second spent without her in my arms the fly is unconcerned with the […]

transparency

the entirety of the slaughterhouse has gone transparent the thud hiss of the air hammer rattles the glass walls as the uneven floors fully lit by the warm sunshine show viscera trails as hooves slip on the trail of tears headed with open eyes into bovine valhalla i step lightly head to tail ever forward […]

circadian cicada

my sleep patterns of late accurately reflect the rainfall in the desert the night is absent of morpheus and his magic sand evxcept for fits of violent unease as ripples of anxiety infect the oasis of dream just over the next rolling dune i see the vultures circle blinking furiously to remove the floating dots […]

sweet tooth

my love is the cavity in your sweet tooth slowly ruining the things you enjoy until all that remains is the memory of pain

the birds scream, i sit at the verge

the birds scream dismayed at the lack of sun the gray skies threaten rain the wind feels nefarious as i drink coffee with dread bubbling up i have learned to trust the currents as they ripple around my indifference i drop leaves to see the water churn the things beneath they hunger the tired, the […]

monster’s masquerade

often in life i take people at face value which leads more often than not to seeing how the mask slips unwittingly showing exactly who they are beneath the constantly fluctuating falsehood the problem is with me i have accepted the beast of flaws that define me so why wouldn’t everyone else feel comfortable enough […]

sain’t(victi’m)

elle vivsects vampirique et vacant un sain’t mal adapté aspirer l’air hors de chaque pièce un prédateur victi’m auto stylisée complimentant constamment elle-même dans l’espoir d’autres le feront bientôt suivre un collage un mirage a victi’m d’auto-sabotage a sain’t dans un mauvais camouflage vous pouvez tout aussi se noyer facilement dans l’extrémité peu profonde essayer […]

the reason dreams fade (butterfly)

i dreamt i was a fat little caterpillar endlessly eating building up my energy forming a cocoon and one day i would fly so preoccupied with my impending metamorphosis life went past in a blur of munched leaves until the day came instinct kicked in as i slowly squeezed into the transparent bodybag stuck to […]

the hunger of dream

the sky was heavy with rain and the every soul in the city tosses and turns in the grips of nightmare in the morning over coffee and loud yawns the receding vision of turbulent seas and the things lurking deep in the darkness blind eyes and gaping jaws the cold pressing in the dizzying loss […]

the difference between making and manufacturing love

she wonders why her love is not returned knowing deep down it is because he is at home with his wife having dinner making plans for a future that she has no part in so she does anything and everything to be his one desire then wonders why his eyes are always roaming settling on […]

cyclical

i woke from fitful sleep punctuated by anxiety induced nightmares to the sparrows and i remembered exactly how much i love you the headache has me dizzy a shower didn’t help the coffee mixed with the taste of batteries is likely a huge mistake but the birds remind me the sun blushes when it shines […]

a joke (the fool goes a long way for little return)

two prenatal doctors are standing in the break room drinking coffee and talking about their days. “there was an alarm on the fourth floor. code blue,” the first doctor said. “oh shit,” the second doctor replied. the first doctor nodded, “the new nurse, Braxton, triggered it.” the second doctor looked puzzled. “Braxton?” he asked. the […]

gardening as a full time profession

all i ever managed to plant in the garden in the heartshaped plot was a mess of tangled roots like vipers no matter how hard i toiled to till the soil the sparrows came to pluck the seeds leaving naught but barren earth my shoulders in gordian knots as i bemoaned my hands knowing only […]

Four

today marks four years at the manic word depot. 5160 poems written. a testament to madness. i had written in the past. little sloppy short stories and poems. my friends pretended to like them and my ex told me it was a collosal waste of time. so i gave up on a foolish dream for […]

tenacious

each night i lay perfectly still waiting for either sleep or the sparrows to break the ever present silence that hangs a funeral shroud over my naked form in the briefest of moments as sleep or madness clouds my eyes and i can feel your warmth and i know if i shift this dream shall […]

reticence

every tear shed is one impossible weight let go from a fractured soul yet the tears seem endless i have lost all hope in ever reaching buoyancy the light a mirage dancing on the waves teasingly just out of reach i dream of falling shuddering awake and i know i was just an impossible weight […]

the glutton

contentment is a plaster mare, perch yourself upon her as you may, you shall make no progress despite how often you heel her flank. hunger drives me ever forward, the constant need for more, gluttonous in my dissatisfaction, ever seeking my fill from a world that selfishly hoards joy.

i am not sad, just hopeless at the moment

there are those that think lady depression is sadness that the fool willingly curls up to sob for days because he is a sad little boy they tend to be too loud in their proclamations of being positive clinging to insipid phrases to seem emotionally intelligent to make up for how bereft of understanding they […]

ed(i)ts

i do not read myself i figure i already had to live it so going through a story and editing it is a form of hell all i see like in the mirror is the flaws reminding me of how as i stare at the ceiling reliving the past i cannot simply fix the narrative […]

anxiously absurd (the morning coffee is thick as pitch)

a lack of sleep due to constant sneezing brought on by the mobius strip of schroedinger’s cats wheeling infinitely in a state of half life through my thundering head of potential worries anxiety is a gateway to absurdism without bound as every impossible scenario plays out in strikingly detailed minutiae i have become a fractured […]

emptiness as a stop gap to failure

a stamp long forgotten at the back of the drawer yellowed with age bereft of purpose a porpoise in an aquarium dreaming of the sea grown complacent ramming its snout repeatedly into the glass taking small pleasure from children screaming in fright a poet trapped inside a carnival house of mirrors unable to accept it […]

begging for change

mike’s manic patreon has a new post. i have been working on a new collection of short stories and this distinctly odd bit made me chuckle so i thought it might be a nice surprise for the Patrons. i dislike shilling and begging for coins, but i post fiction on my patreon a few times […]

swedonberg’s hell

hell is an apathetic world run down where there is never enough it is a decrepit city where the poor squat in the heat beneath the highway overpass where children starve parents abuse and every sin is internally eternally grinding hope to dust hell is a place where ten percent hold all of the wealth […]

coffee flavored dissent

i appreciate the miracle of life the sheer chance of one errant bolt into the primordial ooze inciting a riot amazes me it is the living that weighs heavily and i find less to be amazed about the shifting chemicals and unfathomable sorrows implicit within is too much to bear

take two until it all goes away

the eyes of the dead stare at me through the diaphonous gauze wrapped tightly around my face the cries gurgle deep in my heaving chest as pus like cataracts drip down the gray faces pressed tightly to the curtain hanging around my bed the needle driven deep into puckered flesh sends the cold touch of […]

a sip of milk before bed

the milk is clotted curdled with a sour film of filth fat black flies wobble lazily rubbing their hands together eager to taste the putrefaction a stale wind rustles the brown grass a high squeal pierces the dusk as a rusted swing sways the night pours across the sky in rivulets of tar swallowing the […]

fruit flies in the rotten heart of hope

the goddamned gnats are back beelezebub has sent his swarm to drive me farther insane it starts with the goddamned gnats a precursor as i pour bleach down the drain i can feel myself spiraling down writing poetry for an audience of none stripping myself bare is less daunting when you realize no one fucking […]

the sun is rotten with maggots

the alkaline taste of batteries floods my mouth a tension forms at the base of my skull i can feel it a maelstrom of pain as it percolates along the tepid edge of my tender pleading will o’wisps of ash dance at the corners as my eyes lose focus and the thunderstorm echos in the […]

silent wings, scabberous claws

honesty is an owl with two hundred and seventy degree vision dishonesty dwells in the shadows behind and still the villagers coil in the darkness brandishing blades warily knowing they cannot trust another soul afraid of the open spaces of facing themselves so secure in the cocoon so carefully built from a lifetime of lies […]

puzzled

life is a jigsaw puzzle with a hundred thousand unmarked pieces a panorama that only shows itself as it flashes before dying eyes yet still with cramped fingers feeling for edge pieces a frankenteinian monstrosity is put together in images of rampant ugliness and immaculate beauty for thise willing to see it through to the […]

fentanyl fairy tale

what light through the cracked window of the mobile home doth break the sleeping princess my juliet on darvocet lying in a pool of pink flecked drool using a jagged row of trackmarks to find her way home once the belle of the ball every beast chased after until the monkey on her back began […]

triangulation

an offset deviation muddying the results of my triangulation seeking the bubblegum heart in this fetid city of off colored rancorous silences it seems that no matter how hard i kick my legs the swingset is incapable of pushing past the zenith beginning the fabled death spiral that plagues my dreams somewhere out there a […]

a fool and a net

i slept in fits tiny islands of peace in a sea of chaos the words churning whispering begging not to be forgotten so i cling to this half awake feeling of dizzy dread listening as the coffee drips standing with a butterfly net trying to rescus the words before they burn out before i too […]

an echo of a thought

i have made a career out of tiptoeing in between the drops of rain careful to leave everything undisturbed i shimmer viridescent in oscillating pinwheels refracting the light making it bend around me the secret to a good illusion is to never really exist in the first place no one cares when you disappear and […]

an indecent descent into deceit

she is a contradiction in condescending descent off the rails, calling out for any and every set of eyes to bare witness to a tragedy of half truth playing out in double time irredeemable detritus the ring of filth floating recycled vendettas wrapped in abhorrent design bereft of basic kindness banality in broken verse crying […]

lilac lethargy

suffocated by the falling blossoms, the lilac perfume ensnares the sinus, building pressure behind empty eyes, an allergenic catastrophe in lavender hued dissidence limbs weighted down with yellowed pollen, a swollen faced fool playing bumblebee, defying physics to float on the summer winds of molten rage towards restless dismay the church bells ring out over […]

a crow and a fool

an angry crow sat on the neighbor’s car cawing loudly at four this morning the neighbor’s car right outside my bedroom window i glanced through the blinds into the darkness blanketing the world outside to see the shadow of the beaked beacon pecking at the hood between wailing admonishments of fury the thought that this […]

Cerberus Howls

august 10th is a big deal for the boys in Cerberus, the universe aligned and we each have a new book coming out and we ready our second collection, Cerberus Exploitation: A Grindhouse Triple Feature. our first book, Cerberus Rising, has been nominated for two Splatterpunk awards to be decided at the end of August […]

eastern rays

the light over the eastern wall once a beacon now a malaise of over saturation in which all shades fade into a wheezing gray devoid of definition there is a pressure to the stillness as dawn spills over the floodgates release an ever encroaching wave of desolation i am deafened by this silent reproachfulness blinded […]

scabs as beauty marks

his mouth of maggots writhing with rot lancing languish in an ulcerative state of alabaster dismay the red dust whips lacerating tendencies in hues of spite an indecent rainbow cascading tepid pains he is the cactus prickly in the heat a safe haven for predators seeking easy prey wrought with knots indecisive thoughts in the […]

comet crashes

my claws knead at this indescribable need a kitten mewling lost just out of step with the tides as she traipses contentedly footprints marking the edge of my tender from the emptiness swelling up from within satisfaction swings into my orbituary but i am no samuel clemens destined for its light twice in a single […]

sleepyheaded insolence

i told her the sun sets in the west so it can selfishly spend its last waking moments shining upon her i have never been so jealous of that baleful orb as when it is night here yet she is framed in the dying rays so i stayed awake until that cheeky bastard rose lazily […]

duality of singular pains

i handfeed the bite that frees me, freely biting the hand that bleeds me, confused or concussed, indistinguishable from various contusions from variable beatings brought on by familiar familial phalanges, brandishing the mental scars from one too many one too manys a famished fool flailing frantically, feigning fatalistic flaws forgoing forging forgiveness for finding fleeting […]

a fool in half bloom

the watercolors run over empty streets to pool in overflowing gutters carrying bits of distortion in sheer black and white across the broken smile of a fool in half bloom . an uninvited guest wrecking reckless rejoinders overstaying his welcome staining the pristine sheets of happily ever afters unfulfilled a rorscharch inkblot of joy torn […]

screaming compliancy

i am a series of learned behaviors somewhat at odds with one another. having become pliable and silent to appease the hands that swing the metal hanger trained to disappear into the smoke hanging over the overfull crystal ashtrays at five foot intervals a magician’s assistant taking on other’s pain turning it into my own […]

somewhat static

i occupy my timepicking apart thedistraction piecesfalling into thegaps between atomsalternating chargeto suit the polarityreeking havoc onmy tenderly awkwardinsubstantiabilitiesspitting poisonousclouds only to thencurse the fog in mythoughtless indecisiontearing everything tojagged reminders thatpierce my barefeet asi leave a bloody trailto wherever the windspush my hollow dreamstaticpolluting the airwaveswith abstract declarationsunable to form the wordssinking in the […]

she stares

she stares with watery eyes a stern look of disapproval in that half dead glare i nod and smile she scowls unimpressed by the barely mobile ape in vans everyday it is exactly the same she watches me as i watch her then i drive away and she finds a new object to silently despise […]

contradictory diction

the sparrows sat staring at me as if confused by my sudden reappearance i smiled from the couch as i stirred the first of many cups of coffee and told them all about the trip north they seemed curious being nonmigratory the concept of going anywhere but here is an exotic image new destinations and […]

americana as seen on i35 to dallas

the roadside beauty of middle of nowhere americana is overlain with walmart blues as a backdrop to the golden arches with billboards for debt relief and saturated fat hammered into dry ground brightly colored intrusions in the long tamed vistas where cowboys once roamed traveling concrete scars through arbuckle mountains trenches carved through stone with […]

the pillows know your name

i seem to sleep in fits of angry silence waking confused to the sounds of fellow transitive states having declared my intentions to a fitful universe that doesn’t want any of my attention i sit staring at the ever encroaching sun losing myself in the shadows it creates every fiber of the uncomfortable pillow has […]

granular

everything feels granular as if time is just an echo transitionary in frantic gulps i tear holes through reality with gnarled hands and sheer spite spitting venom into the fresh hells brought forth by self defeat if everyone is the hero in their own tale yet i villify myself does that mean that maybe somewhere […]

an extra day in hell

the central airin this fleabitehotel on the ass endof oklahoma cityroars like ajet engine as iseek the temperaturethat minimizes thenecessity to listento being able tofind a few momentssleep before the wallsrattle as it kicks ontossing and turningthe sound of dishesreplaces my sparrowsthe television noisebleeds through thewalls and i want to scream i should be packedsipping […]

the basement of the OKDOT

the ceiling of the hotel was not as accommodating as the one at home it seemed to find my anxiety to be too much to listen to so after a fitful night of worrying i skipped breakfast raced to meet the moving truck at eight o’clock sharp now at nine i find myself yawning with […]

ass end of hope

the world is dead except for the thunderous air condition in the hotel room no birdsong trills over the concrete wasteland that is the view of the city afforded by the days inn at the back end of oklahoma city oklahoma there is a mattress in the stairwell that was there when i checked in […]

dallas to okc

the moon makes us translucent the sun reflects our fears the stars are naught but astronauts desperate to come home the clouds let lazy fingers drift across the barren land a storm far enough away that it appears like silk dragged along the brush covered plain the buildings on the side of the highway have […]

inherent pointlessness

everything feels so circular as i struggle to find the point my headache infiltrated my dreams leaving a sense of restlessness to the last six hours of wasted pseudo-death failing at sleep i cut my finger as the knife slipped through the rind of the watermelon spilled a cup of serendipitous brown and the neighbor’s […]

on languishing

angelic tears drown the petty hells in which man toils endlessly an effervescent incidental acrimony free falling inevitabilities of indecent insecurities languishing in the lamentations of earthly desires all roads to hell are paved with misperceived inequalities the soft flesh of innocence lacerated by the stinging barb of ruthless truth i burn away the angelic […]

punchlines and punch cards

anxietybipolarityand adhdmake waitingfor literallyanythinga thousand hellsof false hopesof false alarmsof false beliefswarring at onceevery wordunspokenbecomes a newcoffin nailevery wordspokenanother pathto tormenttime has gonesyrupywith ebbsthat teeter onproposterouseschewingpre for prowith maniacalshifts that dizzya fool droppingdramaminein fits ofslow motionandrogynoussorrowful terror dying aloneis a giftbeing aloneis a cursebut some of usare markedfrom the fearfulburst fromthe wombto the reminiscentsilence ofthe […]