i see the appeal
of rollercoasters
but faulty receptors
compounded with
inherited traumas
make most everyday
a death defying ride
on the bipolar express
add a few heaping
tablespoons of fine
borderline pepper
and you have yourself
the most exciting
temporary forever
you could imagine
until you pull the
emergency brake and
make a great escape
while i scream alone
as another precipitous
emotional lurching
evacuates any fleeting
sense of self in the
dizzying emptiness

you would imagine
after decades of an
ever worsening spiral
there would be a sense
of getting my sea legs
but there is none
so i can always recall
the briefest moments
of placid lucidity
which is even more an
insidious hell than
the rest combined