Hello my sweet. So, how was your weekend? Good, serves that cocksucker for daring to step to you. Way to show your inner badass on the outside for once. Fuck him and I hope his dog gets AIDS from a stray that sold itself to get more heroin. He needed that slap. Proud of you […]


Good day. Kids this weekend so rambling diatribes on art and kisses will have to pass for the next 2 days. Imagine this is how the weekend will go.  I am gonna meal prep the week with honey siracha chicken and veggies. Play a shit ton of Mario Kart with the two coolest people on […]

Modern Art is Mostly Shit

Miss me? That fucking headache nearly killed me dear reader. It was fucking close. I drank far too much Nyquil and slept for 14 hours. It was exactly what the doctor ordered. But you do not give two tugs of a dead dog’s cock about my head. No. You want to know how the date […]


Hi there schmoopy. Missed me? Missed you too. Bunches. You are my first thought in the morning and last before bed. Muah. So I tend to title before I wrote to give me some focus on a topic. If you have not noticed I am all over the place. It must be exhausting to be […]

Too Much Caffeine

Will wonders never cease? Been running fast and furious lately. I seen some shit man. Been there done that. Non sequitur. Random words. You feel what I am putting out here?  Motivational! Old Spanky is losing his shit here people. The lights seems dark and the dark feels dank. I saw the eclipse today Dear […]

Music and Words

You ever drive around with the music way too loud, no destination in mind, dear reader? I did that yesterday. Convinced myself I needed to commune with nature. Blah blah healthy. Blah blah spiritual. And I had an epiphany. of sorts. Epiphany means all the pollen crushed my fucking sinus cavity and made me it’s […]


Hey there buckaroos. Old Uncle Spanky has been a bit obsessed lately. Sorry if I have been distant and distracted.  See. there is this story I have had brewing for literally years. And the end came to me yesterday. I never knew the end. and it was so simple. not elegant but exactly what it […]

Manic Wednesday

So we meet again dear reader. Been a bout of the ups and downs this week. But the barometer has taken a sharp upwards tick.  This, of course, means the downfall will be that much more dramatic. Controlled plummeting is plummeting still. So it is with tepid at best expectations I have thrown myself into […]

Easily Distracted

Hello dear reader. How are you today? For good answers, read next. For bad skip one. That is great to hear! Nice to see you so chipper. I think you have a lovely smile and it makes me happy to see it. Brightens the room. Skip next paragraph. Who the fuck do I have to […]


It is amazing how good things can go and then one thing sends it spiralling into the fucking trash. The last couple of days have been wonderful. Time with the kids, relaxation and got to spend some time talking to a lovely stewardess. I should be floating across the ground. Instead, I am in black […]


Taking the next two days off of this insanity. No swiping. No chatting. Just gonna chill and enjoy time with my kids. Play some games and watch some GotG 2 and Supernatural. Need to detox. But I am thinking about you. You know you are always in the back of my mind like a spider […]

80s Synth

I feel like I am trapped in a Depeche Mode album. Everything is dreary and intentionally shitty for no reason. A week and a half and quite a few messages but no real leads. I have cone to the conclusion that I suck at this.  The idea that based on five pics and a page […]


So, well, ummm. See I have been talking to a couple ladies. Curiosity mostly. And I hoped to provide some interesting stories to you dear reader.  It has led to some intriguing talks so far. See, dear reader, when a man loves a woman. Nope. When a man serves a woman? See sometimes in a […]

Near Misses, Dodged Bullets

I am not one to cast disparaging remarks upon the opposite sex, except in jest but honestly I will make anything into a joke. Anything. No matter how crass, before I have thought it I will say it.  Ask anyone who knows me. It is a condition. Another thing I hate about me but cannot […]


I have realized exactly what I am looking for in a mate. I want someone not afraid to strap on some wax and feather wings and fly too close to the sun with me. I want to feel the sun heat my body as the inevitable fall will cool it. I just want someone willing […]

Fiction   If you enjoy these real rambling, just imagine what kind of fiction rolls around in this half empty coconut. Try it and let me know.

Numbers Game

So this entire online dating things is really all about the numbers. Answer a shit ton of questions to narrow the field to either the most eligible or best liars. Hard to tell so early in the game which is which.  Next is view comparable options. Now the real play begins. There are so many […]

Burned Out

The kids are still sleeping. I woke up hours ago and walked a couple miles and worked out. Been going through my stuff as I have decided maybe a change in scenery could do this broken heart some good. It has been a rather shit morning. I woke up from a dream where my ex […]

Lovely day for fishing

So the lovely Maria is still at it. She began blowing me up this morning. I stuck to my guns and let her know in no uncertain terms she would get no money. She insists she is falling in love with me. I made it clear that I will give nothing to a stranger. She […]


I am not alone in the idea that scrubs are super fucking hot. Like mind boggling hot. It has always been my kryptonite. And there are a lot of nurses in the sites. And I give then all a swipe right. Not only to I find them, for the most part hot as he’ll, I […]


Hi. Been a busy week with a lot of down time to write. Picked up the kids today so the next week may slow down. But never fear dear reader, I will still be trying. Just less. A week free of the past discretions has me wide eyed and bushy tailed in anticipation of the […]


This one is more for me. Fuck you. I explained to the lovely Maria I was most certainly not sending her money. She said she understood and continued talking like nothing had happened. It was wierd. She said she will be back in town in a couple of weeks. Curiosity led me to decide this was […]

Noodlin 2 Electric Afuckayou

An hour and a half gone like that. She was sweet and gentle. A saint walking this earth. We hit it off in every way. It was fate that guided us to find one another. She said she felt like I was the first person she could really open up to since her break up […]


In Oklahoma there is this thing that people do called Noodlin. The biggest catfish lie on the bottom of the river, fat faces up and just sit and eat. Imagine Golden Corral on Sunday when the church crowd shows. Well these American heroes wade out into the water and jam there hands into the fish’s […]

Sanity Wall

Holy shit. Until I figure out how we are going to proceed I have decided to continue the maddening swiping process. It has been a tough day. My depression has set into the manic phase. My mind will not stop going. A million different errant thoughts piling up. I am growing paranoid.  If you have […]

Pay Wall

Things took a dramatic turn today. Not really but it seemed likely to grab the reader. I woke up to 47 emails. Apparently I have a lot of fans out there. I was excited. Last night was rough with the combo of lack of sleep and certain painful truths being flaunted. I was not fully […]