Hi. Been a busy week with a lot of down time to write. Picked up the kids today so the next week may slow down. But never fear dear reader, I will still be trying. Just less.

A week free of the past discretions has me wide eyed and bushy tailed in anticipation of the vast unknown future.

Did some more true love searching today. Noticed the most common descriptor for women over 33 is independent. They really want to hammer home the point that they are independent. Independent. God damn it. I get it. I do not need Boosie and Webbie to spell it out.

Independent Woman is a song by Lil Boosie featuring Webbie. Sort of generic Louisiana rap honestly. Now reread that paragraph and laugh at my witty banter.

I will wait.

Ladies between 23 and 27 are adventurous. They love adventure. For sure. And quiet nights at home. Every adventurous type makes it clear they are content to cuddle at home. 
Well that is not very adventurous, now is it? I can only assume these crazy nights are spent trying to cuddle king cobras and alligators. Maybe throw in some Orange is the New Black and scorpion wrangling. Imagine all those crazy times freebasing coke and scrapbooking the quiet weekend in. I can get behind this. Drop some acid, put on some Captain Beefheart and get this fucking cuddlefest started. Party people in the place to be. 

Between 27 and 35 reality kicks in. At least on Okcupid. The profiles start to read more as I expected. Looking for love, maybe kids, wanting to settle down with the right guy. The desperation is setting in. The road to forty is looming ever closer. Friends are married with kids and you are tired of putting on makeup and getting drunk hoping Mr Right will hold your hair as you puke. The UTI is cleared up and if someone even looks at a cranberry you will fucking kill them. Yes your baby is adorable. Now fuck the fuck off. Her dog is not quite the companion she needs. Quirky and cute have become weary and tired.

This seems like the right demographic for an ugly, bald dude. Maybe the gray tinge of desperation will lead to them overlooking everything about me, and just hoping I will not chop them up and freeze the remains. Who will feed their dog.

I need someone that fits my definition of proper mate that is deathly afraid of being forever alone.

Female me.


Have a great weekend. Me and the kids are gonna have a blast. 

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