un rêve heureux (un lent voyage au-dessus de l’océan)

we could lounge sipping coffee from observation deck of the zeppelin as it slowly makes its way across the tossing waves on our flight from new york to paris watching the people business men in fancy suits sipping brandy with cigars ladies in petticoats talking softly as the orchestra plays (nous pourrions nous détendre siroter […]

tick tick boom

feel meteoric as i yearn to crash initiate self destruct pulling pins unable to find the right one just errant nails jammed deeply into the flesh of a human voodoo doll the radius of my irradiated heart can cleanse the city of the human plague if i could just recall which one starts the countdown […]

9151 blvd 26

i spent twenty minutes looking for the woodpecker tapping for grubs on the leafless trees before realizing there was a good chance what i heard was the tapping of high heels as i saw the lady watching me search for a bird that didnt exist there is likely a lesson to be learned about a […]

back at indio

sitting in the cold overfilled parking lot dreading going inside my mind is scattered with glinting calteops a brittle edge and a supple ache coursing throughout my being one misstep today and i could shatter into a million pieces of absolute inconsequential nothing the slow speaking woman is waiting for me so she can talk […]

streak of red on a dull brown morning

the coffee sent a cloud of steam to moisturize my exhausted face as i watched the cardinal hop excitedly from branch to branch a streak of red singing loudly so his nest remained hidden black eyes glaring in contrast to the happy sounding song i searched for the brown matron in the bare limbs of […]

sylvia’s oven timer

i face the wall then the bookshelf back to the wall back to the bookshelf then the ceiling i can go days upon days without getting any actual rest chewing over anxieties as ryo plays mellow dream unable to shut off the torrent of turbulent thoughts i dont feel tired sure, my eyes are a […]

they do now

the first time i ever got busted drinking in a bar while underage i was standing at a table laughing talking to a lady when i heard one line “they do now” spoken into my ear by my father i remember turning all the color drained from me face beer in my hand lady forgotten […]

cuckoo

the irony of the anxiety in waiting becoming the new anxiety at finally receiving a response is not lost as i watch the date slink closer and closer to cordial rejection or acceptance eight and half months spent dreaming and in scant days an answer must be had i poured too much of myself into […]

spring again, for now

for the third time this year alone spring has vanquished winter’s embrace yet i find myself reviewing the ten day forecast apprehensively expecting another bout of chilly petulance the birds are watching as i ponder the day hopping on the rail telling me about the warm winds blowing through as i shiver unexpectedly unsure if […]

fifty eight hundred embers

viewing the world through the detached retina of divinity a land filled with blurry misrecollections in a haze of sleeplessness the grasping hands of doom fall defiantly to smother the dreamembers in a shower of sparks briefly lending an air of confused coherency in distracted aggression spinning silken cocoons in hopes of waking anew where […]

dreary day spent picking scabs

torn pages of a unicorn covered dream journal fall slowly to the floor caught up in this melodic malady quietly humming as mitochondria power the entire entropic demise in double time the cursor flashes mocking the words dripping lethargically over opioid deceptors in a languish of rhetorical ambiance schismatic resonance in anticlimactic monochromatic dreamslurry scraps […]

oak lawn and wellborn

the lights cast a haphazard strobe faintly flickering erratic static in distilled discharging of electrons in accidental orbit of a softly whispered hint of dismay every car that passes shakes the slab of reinforced concrete making my car feel like a ship tossed on the stormy seas shattering my reverie as i seek the message […]

bags like octopi in frozen lament

invisible patches of black ice linger as the sunlight becomes electrified over frozen patches of yellow grass the wind hammers at the car as i drive far too fast already lost in thought as the highway blurs into a dreamshatter artery plastic bags flutter waiting for the chance to cross unabated by the semis chugging […]

wilted

listless a crushed flower pressed between yellowed pages a lingering aroma notes of pipe smoke summer’s embrace and pestilent depressive kisses of insular beauty listless in a malice swirled interpretive dance across a minefield of buried dreams from a childhood where sweet death was the only option for escape listless

hornets in a deep freeze

the car sits just outside the sliding doors a pervasive rumble a helicopter hovering waves of sound a wall of pressure undulating as i shiver on the couch hairline fractures run throughout my skull the wind chimes gently dance a teasing airiness in an oppression of white noise my unfocus prevails in fits of innocuous […]

nothing.

i am frenzy so overwhelmed the only safe response is to shut down completely i am raw skinless in saline feeling everything too deeply to ever hope to maintain sanity i am silence uspoken prayers divine disinterest a human armadillo hidden in dream

diatribe

i don’t claim to be an expert on most anything except being mentally defective. i don’t know if i will ever understand the hills politicians decide to die upon. people are still homeless as we have record numbers of empty homes. kids go to school hungry. our infrastructure is hot garbage. lobbyists control everything. sitting […]

snowy night in grand prairie

the silence is smothering as the snow falls no cars driving no planes above everything is still earlier it was a symphony of sirens as the rain fell now there is nothing but tiny crystals slapping the window i hear my heart tapping out a serenade in desperate thumps sleep feels far off as i […]

spiritualists and escape artists

some nights the graveyard in my hollow skull is far too active phantom smiles from the great beyond call to me as i try to find rest and i cannot rectify the pearly teeth from the maggots writhing in decay an amateur medium channeling spirits shaking fingers on the autonomous planchette as it slides swiftly […]

frozen faces in dismissive repose

there is a senseof palpable panicas the temperaturefalls along withfrozen flakes of snowstanding in the coldmy belt and shoeson the conveyorholding my pants upas they examine eachof the tools i carryquestioning everythingas they explain thateveryone has been toldto stay off the roadthe court buildingfilled with angry faceschapped from the windthree hundred soulsseeking passports toescape this […]

3838 oaklawn

droplets of water refract the light in prismatic dismay through the complex interwoven strands of the spiderweb hanging beneath the yellowed plastic over the florescent tubes i can’t fathom where the balls of liquid beading on silk could have come from three levels below the storm raging above no drips from the ceiling no puddle […]

my arms ache for you

the sound of the tires on the road beneath me after the epectric engine takes over the drive reminds me of the trains that used to pass outside my bedroom window as a kid there is a sickening feeling being awake yet paralyzed by the memories of youth half expecting the next sound to be […]

coffee and song

the weathermen say another storm is coming but all i had to do was listen to the birds they trill frantically of seeds hidden and shiny things now lost we sing to each other over steaming coffee and wildflower daydreams as the temperature falls beneath an indifferent sun knowing this too will pass but fearing […]

sketching self portraits in chalk as it rains

took a series of selfies but couldn’t recognize the person staring back from the screen did this dullard with a forced half grin a vacancy where i suppose a soul should reside reflected tepidly in watery eyes from another fit of sobbing truly believe he could ever be any of the things he dreams? my […]

mountainous dreamspires

i have poured every ounce of myself to form a quivering foundation on which this house of cards tormentedly shudders ill equipped to face the howling winds in this disregard to the decrepitude of shimmering insignificance does a pebble long to rejoin the mountain lost in tectonic upheaval among the gravelly detritus of hope does […]

hushed

playing second fiddle in an orchestra of one out of tune accompaniment in sour notes of flaccid failings a footnote on a wall of hastily scribbled declarations forgotten in the metaphoric splendor a whisper floating in the claxon of sparrows unintelligible drowned out in the act of negligible returns

hungover on fermented sorrows

hungover on these insipid sorrows that inebriated my scattered heart incapable of finding my footing as the rain washes out the choir of chriping birds wrapped up in gray uncertain of what it is pulling me deeper into this fugue how many times did i sleeplessly send my adorations out into the emptiness as sleep […]

paper boat in tallow

i drift alone in a paper boat on swollen gutters as shadows flick lit matches at my ship as it sails on towards night dipped in tallow so the origami vessel doesn’t take on the fetid waves cursed by poseidon to sail the sewers in search of home the city lights amid a hail of […]

happy birthday

my madness was once a mere inconvenience until the day my father passed away since then it has been a constant struggle keeping the pieces in a semblance of working order more often a failed attempt as the mountains crumbled into the dark waters of dire depression a life lived alone whispering love to the […]

cretan shibari

i have constructed so many walls my brain is a minature winchester house filled with dead end hallways to confuse the evil spirits seeking to take control of the cathedral heavy with wildflower petals a blizzard in hues of pearlescent pinks i string red thread in a convolution of tangled skeins and i fear that […]

maw

today my mind is a pinwheel spinning quickly in an illusion of solidity a slurry of incorporeality a simmering swill of flashing lights standing on quicksand heartshudders wondering why my pantlegs are getting wet ignoring the sucking sounds at my feet sinking into the whirling maw of a meat grinder until all i am is […]

angles and lemons

shining golden beacons these angels with broken wings hobbling amongst billions of indistinct tarnished souls all seeking a piece of illusionary heaven in which to rest their weary feet far from the chatter skeletal shiftings in effervescent malaise angry slashes of crimson shadowed demons scurry and skitter an infestation of dreamscarred memories promising only the […]

small footsteps

little footsteps echo down the empty corridors i know with all certainty i am alone yet tiny feet along with shrill giggles fill the darkness that surrounds me no matter how quickly i turn the cone of cold white light only shadows dance along the beam while children run not disturbing the dust long since […]

hi line/victory rd

a scuffed leather jacket carefully folded laying next to a coffee cup on the exit ramp from 35 to hi line road there is a story there a life once lived but i’ll be damned if i can make heads or tails out of the offering as sunlight glints off of the metal studs sending […]

6060 n central

strung along an idiot starving on scraps following a trail barely visible among the frost coating the winding avenues in this crucible of hellish intent every road leads deeper into the darkness of spoken wishes in fevered unreciprcation where heartspasms flourish in the limbs of the dead dreamers staring up through the cratered souls in […]

an affirmation of incomprehension

the endless nothingness mocks each feeble attempt at seeking meaning dour skies of illusion a refraction of radiation through captive droplets a corruption of color disguising the vast emptiness of creation billions of blinking souls no closer than the stars to one another’s orbit drifting aimless and alone searching for purpose in green screen projections […]

a penance of petulance

he sat in his car on the roof of a parking garage controlling the storms through the thunder echoing in his mind gray swirls, swirling fluff clouds of sinuous smoke drifting in fluffy gray filled the skies around him threatening cold rain teary eyes behind tinted glass a watery view of a concrete prison high […]

nineteen years, no candles

i wouldn’t recognize his voice it’s been so long since i heard him but i remember his scent when he would get home from a long day of old spice marlboro reds (filters removed) and hops and barley he would start the day off with a cold one poured into a coffee cup to take […]

mediocrity

dressed in a malaise of poignant mediocrity bedazzled in malfeasance and inconsequentiality drowning in all of the words unwritten an empty bucket sitting in a dried up lakebed watching as the vultures circle a jigsaw puzzle of pangaea scattered across the worn beige carpet a misapprehension of subtle truth he knows he should be writing […]

3200 hackberry

there is a 7/11 store in the 7/11 corporate office an odd little minature hell of florescence and plastic a live calf suckling the teat of financial demand a parade of lovely ladies and jabbering men milling about with no real purpose as the poor bastard scrubs the slurpee machine for minimum wage an affluence […]

red tinted morning dismay

red tinted in a chaos of indiscriminate wind chimes i woke from a subaquatic dream gasping in sheer panic as my heaving chest pulled in lungfuls of arid desert air sharp gravel in a dehydration of formerly submerged bronchus flopping on this too large bed of russet coral spasmodically to the orchestral clanging outside in […]

mckinney ave

thelonious monk plays the sounds infusing the empty lobby of the building under renovation punctuated by drills the circular saw plays a triumphant solo against the backdrop of the black and ivory magic still penetrating the endless din of workers i find myself enthralled by the paintings with clever names like diversity and effusion in […]

moles, voles, suffocation.

pensively sitting three stories below ground in an oddly immaculate parking garage unsettling in the pristine unstained concrete clean white walls and bathed in utter silence a naked mole rat seeking answers in the subterranean pulse of the city perfectly still attuned to nothing an impoverished under allocation in the seizing bowels of dallas remembering […]

deluge of delusion

in defiance of gravity’s demands hovering incidentally above nucleic dissonance hoarfrosted tears warble drunkenly from sightless cataract contractions piercing rays assaulting in a fit of optical resentment simmering discontent in orgasmic defeat the sun peeks out dismayed by wobbling revolutions in oily revulsion a dissolution of morning as laid out in cosmic apathy another star […]

an oasis on a sunspot

icy plumes of indignation erupt along the cratered soul of poetic insignificance blossoming upward billowing quills in frozen deference a billion crystals reflecting solar radiation into nightflowers of spectral indifference a hailstorm of ivory feathers drifting as angels battle the demonic hoards amidst geysers of plasmic interference the dead touch in an absence of divinity […]

bonnes intentions

je suis plein de regrets vides enveloppé dans effigies de laine d’acier bruni par baisers sanglants avec un cœur switchblade si vous avez besoin de moi ne pas je suis une source de frustrations étroitement lié par mauvaise nouvelle sur un brise du nord catastrophe sifflante dans une vacance de bonnes intentions un corbeau battu […]

soylency

a corpulence of inebriated desire festooned with baubles carved from the husks of dreamroaches in stagnant malaise spilled out to stain the marble floors of a cathedral in the throes of a sinful fervency these agonies will not endure themselves lines of crimson running down the pale indecencies of the moon a cracked mirror reflecting […]

shhh, you’re just crazy

the last thing someone struggling needs is to be told it’s all in their head especially when every single fucking day is a battle against the things that have taken root inside if i could ignore it don’t you think i would? who chooses to live doubting every feeling because yoyt don’t know if it […]

vale(n)tine

même si il passe inaperçu mon amour s’épanouit dans le chant du moineau une ode de la Saint-Valentin chuchoté chaque matin d’un cœur d’imbécile et des sourires de fleurs sauvages

enforced herpetology

been surrounded by these snakes so long he wish he could shed my own skin like them leave behind a hollow reproduction escape into the woods fresh pink skin glistening in the wan moonlight as it shines through skeletal branches to disappear far from their slitted pupils watching every move waiting to strike out cold […]

a heavy scent of divine apathy

falling into the heartbeat of insubstantialility the universal throbbing pulse coursing underneath paper machè facades hiding the abyss roiling in shades of echoing wonder pulled deeper along the invisible currents swirling insoluble desires forming layers of silted strata to document the tribulations for future explorers to witness the folly in mortal failings a series of […]

mutterings of love in uncertain surroundings

it took mea few minutesto realizei was homethis morningi lay in bedmentally preparingfor a drivei didn’t haveto endurethe road dust ofa thousand mileshanging to mestill after amorning showerlost in the gritof border townscombined withsandman’s dustin unsleptexahaustion itchingthe corners ofmy hazel confusion coffee is brewingthe birds remain silentbeneath a tentative stormthe same shadeas the blanketstangled aroundunresponsive […]

clarity in clarification

i didn’t know i was crazy for the longest time i just thought everyone felt everything as painfully as i always have thank the silence that wasn’t true knowing i am a bipolar mess doesn’t make it feel any less intense it just lets me know it is choppy waves and the sky is (probably) […]

drury feels less dreary on the final morning

the trip down to the border left me a bit over stimulated a hundred lines interlaced four hundred miles bleeding into one another as i try to pluck the threads oatmeal and raisins dark roast coffee roaring engines slamming doors down endless hallways i prepare for the next four and half hours driving to the […]

exit 1 laredo

i felt as if i were a great explorer a modern day samuel clemens rolling down towards the mouth of i35 to see where it spills into mexico captaining a hybrid down the asphalt scar separating the brown from the endless brown my own mighty mississip falling into delusions of twain like wonder i left […]

initial observation of laredo

a series of pawn ahops billboards for attorneys brightly colored buildings in sullen disrepair then the largest cemetery bright blue holy mothers rows of white carved crosses a cornfield in grabite repose stretching for miles before the pawn shops billboards for attorneys brightly colored buildings in worsening state of disrepair am optical illusions dotted with […]

sunk

he was nothing but a deflated balloon hovering above the dirty carpet every word he said left unacknowledged brought him farther from the skies the leaden weight of his own overflowing insignificance pulling him toward the hell he sees in the streaked mirror as he tried to find a road leading home in a confusion […]

pics off Austin St.

i stood, lost in the simple beauty of the bell tower and wondered if the bells still rang. on cue, as if god heard my thought, the bells rang one time, crisp and clear into the chill afternoon air. it was 12:30, divinity was foiled again by routine. i did jump, startled at the sound, […]

old man yells at clouds

the same basic blueprint exists for the series of one way streets in a typical big city downtown is a warren of rat tunnels half chewed through the yellow bricks all exactly the same with new marquees and construction to fuck it all up small roads made even smaller by concrete barricades in uneven lines […]

seguin

it’s unfair to judge a land in the south by its winters countenance it all goes flat ugly tones of brown gone the verdant fields the lazily swaying leaves as if all hope has been bled from the soul of the land upon entering the lovely town with a lazy river willows weeping into the […]

empty room

i stayed up all night with sylvia listening to cars racing up and down 35 as she waxed on about silvery light at some point listening to the hotel’s ambient noises i woke up hank and he told me about betting on the trifecta to win a roomful of prose bouncing off the walls as […]

a matchbook

i am unsettled. beset by anxiety. mentally on empty yet driven by demons of incessant worry. in the hours between declarations of love and actual sleeping i retrace my every move shifting from side to side a surrogate pillow clutched close as the universe chuckles at the foolish insomniac. i am exhausted. yet beset by […]

dreary inn

the dining roomof the drury innis a dreary placewith mispy soulscongregating tiredly they are miserableno happy vacationersjust lonely workerstoo many mulletsand not enough hope i am just happyto not be alonewhich speaks volumesi’d rather notcontemplate tonight the scenic view ofthe back of a home depotthe sounds of enginesand driving bass thumpingas i lay in the […]

i35 @temple

a curious case of road hypnosis wrapped in the unmistakable lavender cushion of clustered achings i follow the hawks the sparrows on the fences listen to the words streaming in sparks down the i35 corridor if i have learned anything it is that as the crow flies means lazily trapped in circular reasoning distracted by […]

a dervish of incomprehension

knotted upa ball of wormswrithing in a permanencyof anxietiesan intimate understandingthat these feelingswon’t minimizethemselves. sitting aloneon the windowsillsinging softlyto call forth the sunto burn awaythis indelible fog ofcold memories tracingover unformed scars. an absolution inheartplucked miseriesflat notes fallingover a deadend vistaan altered altar ofambivalent silencesa congregated agonyin shuttered remorse. a slickof dayglow sickover cloudy pools […]

another goddamned poem

words flit in pieces through the hollows of my soul stealing shiny bits to build a nest in the curve of a floating rib to sleep to dream burrowed deeply into this abstinence of light etched into moribund marrow lost in sullen recirculation misformed cells in cancerous disarray arterial plaque in semi-poetic disdain a systolic […]

halfspeed

she talked soincrediblyslowlyi feltmyself dyingin betweenwords i swamin a bottomlessswath of eternityas she droned oncursing the dayoverladen withanxieties as mydragonfly wingshover innegative spacesjust east ofexistence i question ifi am even herewhile the elevatorlost track ofits only passengertaking me ona convoluted tripto every other floorbefore i was entangledin amber dissonance she repeatsinslow motionthe samephrase untili can […]

mythological misunderstandings

an uncertainty trembles along the concrete surface a burst of static in a decrepitude of nostalgic malaise a wobble undercutting the stabilty a faltering faith in misunderstood dreams of thermodynamic philosophical flaws hobbling painfully swerving between these nestled disasters seeking real time solutions to ancient denials in this abandonment of desire

aftermath

the aftermath of winter’s frozen embrace overflowing dumpsters glittering shards of glass on the side of the road cascading pinpricks in sunlit disregard trash blowing over brown fields hardscrabble growth too stubborn to accept harsh realities where frozen soil and fraudulent promises of sun dappled kisses add up to a meaninglessness of dashed hopes reaching […]

tracing the trails of long melted glaciers

when she closes her eyes he is the only thing that ceases to exist a case of reverse solipsism a half life of unreturned devotionals in a mute world where nothing truly matters a dry riverbed where the cyclical flow no longer feeds the source leaving a jagged scar to cut across a land of […]

a convenient death

it isn’t difficult being a good person it can be inconvenient and that is more than enough to deter most from bothering i prefer the company of stray cats old drunks and children they are exactly as they seem living life unapologetic to perception i astutely avoid a convenient death asinine in my own stubborn […]

off

everything is off not enough to be obvious not extreme ever so slightly two degrees off track barely a blip but if you pay close enough attention it isn’t quite right i fear i am vibrating just out of sync causing this theoretical fluctuation an atomic division a confusion of inconsequential derision god sits fingerpainting […]

a fountain

there was a fountain, and from it sprang a black liquid that sizzled as it splashed upon the rough stone basin beneath. brightly colored birds would perch, a cacophony of muted colors reflected between ripples traveling across the onyx pool, yet none ever drank from the everflowing fount. a sense of pristine desecration wafted palpably […]

dawn’s relapse

the sun always seems to rise no matter how catastrophic his mind becomes a morning comes where the coffee percolates he twists open the hanging blinds light floods a room of shadow exposing truth to a sleepy fool birdsong swells the gloom is albeit briefly dispelled again a solar powered dream machine recharging slowly as […]

a failed attempt

a tenaciousness of tenuous turmoils tinting turgid thoughts into thorny thistle threading turbulence through timidly trilling trails of tragedy the word sits trembling on the tip of my tongue yet i cannot taste the syllabic nuance just notes of oak beneath a bouquet of perfumed longing stuttering my way through this inebriation of slurried wonder […]

futile

pushingfervently upona door markedpulltrapped in a cycleof recurrentfrustrationstoo stupidto accept thati am nevergetting instanding so closeyet neverfeeling so farremoved an acknowledgementof futility

whiteout in texas

texas has become a snowglobe shaken by an angry god the fat flakes have muted the skyline plastic particulates drifting through a stagnancy of life leaving only sirens crying out somewhere far in the distance lost in billowing snow a conflagration of crystalline carcinogens a whiteout coating an orgy of filthy gray still pristine except […]

initials

i woke to a world cast in crystalline decay the overladen skies having wept frozen tears in gouts of endless sorrow leaving all beneath a veneer of icy malaise this too shall pass forgotten soon as the sun reasserts her dominant disinterest in the days to come but i woke as the ice still fell […]

blight

they grow so bloated pompous thinking themselves somehow above everyone else sharing opinions as facts silencing dissent so afloat upon their own hubris they believe that they themselves are beauty and art little fish thinking themselves too big to swim with the others mistaking attention as signs of talent thinking every errant drip of paint […]

the rain strikes

the rain strikes heavy on the grill the metallic thud metronomic in the still heart of a bleak and stormy evening a melancholic back beat jazzlike in smoky effusiveness as my anxious heart plays a xylophonic symphony upon my rattling ribs held hostage by effervescent depressions coaxing prismatic odes to dire longing in haunted wisps […]

totem

the sparrows seem frantic as the temperature begins to drop hopping to and fro on the rail chirping at me to find cover from impending icy precipitation a deep freeze on a series of twos a schism of groundhog deification in avian dismay as they pick at the scattered seed before hiding away in the […]

the flu

a hoard of demons claw at the crystalline shield quickly erected between fevered misery and the wildflower pollen drifting lazily as the world has become a mass of cramping pain shivering unable to find warmth as sweat pours in rivulets of palpable woe there is a storm swirling threatening to freeze the city locked in […]

salmon colored dreamthistle

traffic is movingbackwards todayas emergency vehiclesblock the highwaywe move againstthe currentssalmon seeking tospawn in the mouthsof waiting bears one truck liesscattered in jaggedshards across the roadthe only movementthe flashing lightsas paramedics standstaring at the wreckage i watch in silenceover the concrete dividerthe bezoar in my gutschurns in synchronicitywith the spikes jammedinto my brainwhispering secretsbeyond my […]

amateur mapmaker

i have never met a deadend i didn’t try too hard to coax into a new trail only to find myself disjointed and utterly disappointed as reality reasserts itself in tepid disdain an amateur mapmaker traversing old scars i did not inflict seeking a direct route through the brambles leaving a bloody trail inevitably leading […]