back at indio

sitting in the cold
overfilled parking lot
dreading going inside
my mind is scattered with
glinting calteops
a brittle edge and
a supple ache coursing
throughout my being
one misstep today and i
could shatter into a
million pieces of absolute
inconsequential nothing
the slow speaking woman
is waiting for me so she
can talk at half speed
not knowing my mind is
moving at the speed of light
even as my body is failing
i am vibrating on a new
spectrum of light and
maybe that is why i dont
seem to exist on this one
rendered unvisible by
factors out of my control
as the cracks race along
my hollow boned prison

9 thoughts on “back at indio

    1. you matter because you are struggling, no one should have to struggle, believe me, i do every single day. and you do exist. we just don’t know one another.

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  1. I have been to just a few parts in Oklahoma and Texas. Even though I’ve lived in both we never had the money to go anywhere. I have barely seen anything. I crossed over to Louisiana once to Shreveport so I could stand there for an hour and watch him gamble. I have seen nothing of the world, experienced nothing and yet you are all over and can do all these things I’ll never get to do. I get to put my head in the septic and see how high it is and I’ve been doing that daily for weeks. It’s nonstop stress and problems and my Fitbit charger is gone and I keep a very clean house so it’s been nothing but problems for me all year. You have more in common with Paris Hilton than you do me. We are completely different social classes and even though I worked my ass off I still have nothing to show for what I’ve done and no one NO ONE appreciated anything I did. I don’t exist. I don’t matter and life will always be great and fun for you and I’ll never see beyond the walls of this house. I told you he and I have been king and popper in the same house and even though we aren’t really anything you have been put so high above me and I have nothing compared to you and I will always have nothing. I know it life is miserable and hard and only a few get to enjoy it.

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  2. Are you on California? This is exactly what I’ve been talking about. You are out living your life and going places and meeting people and dating and having dinners and I sit here and have none of that. We have completed different lives and you have better, you always have. you are like Dianna where you have all the love and money you could ever need and your quality of life is completely different .we are NOT equals. You have a life and I’m supposed to sit here in this house and die. You are out with the girls and having endless fun and I don’t matter to you at all. I don’t matter to you at all.

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