She stood in the hut, mist flowing around her. Light came through the faux grass roof in rays illuminating her. The combination of her smile, the mist and the rays of light froze time. I stared, trying to memorize every single detail. I knew this was a magical moment. The mist and the rays of […]

Good morning my loves. Been a couple of days. Been busy. Life happens.  This is hard to find the words for.  She is wonderful and amazing. Everything. I would do anything for this one. She makes me feel. A whirlwind that picks up the scattered pieces and makes them feel close to whole. That one […]

I can taste colors! I am at one with universe dear reader. Purple tastes like blue and blue tastes fucking phenomenal. I have achieved a state of coffee induced nirvana on par with a 12 day coke binge. I am a God! Or just sort of rattling by while vibrating. Six of one, half dozen […]

Good morning. How are you doing today?  Ever see a grown man in a red sequined dress offering blow jobs for coupons for the nail salon? Ever dance on the edge of the abyss with nothing but the beat of your own song to accompany the manic screams of the damned? Have you watched a […]

That title is gonna be misleading. I liked the play though. Maybe at some point I can make it fit in. Probably not. The headache has mutated and the chunk of skin Dax flayed from my scalp is not helping. Shit. He tried to fucking scalp me. Cowboys and Indians is not meant to be […]

Kids are gone. Emptiness somehow fills the room. The contradiction does not escape me. It feels oppressive after the laughter all weekend. Choir Recital tomorrow night so I get to steal a few more minutes. The feeling of loving them more than life itself and distance is like a blade between the second and third […]

Or not so fucking easy like a Sunday mourning. Cluster headache like a mug today my loves. Knew it was brewing all week. hoped to juke and jive my way out of this one.  it could be worse. ummm. Could be four spikes at once?  So today is the day of questioning all. It always […]

No Graham Crackers were hurt in the writing of this post. Hello my dear friends. Sitting here with the kids relaxing after another trip to get groceries. Stock up on the essentials for the sleepover. Cotton for the ears, wire ties, duct tape, 25 lb bag of lime, plastic drop sheets.  Wrong sleepover. Scratch that. […]

I have been lucky in my life to have singular moments that exist both in and out of time. Times that transcend known reality and seem to bend physics around them. Today was one of those.  It has been a long time since I had the honor of witnessing a true spectacle.  The last time […]

Sometimes I question myself, am I a hopeless romantic, or in the immortal words of Bouncing Souls, am I just hopeless? The eternal question. And cereally a great song by a great band from Jersey. The Toilet Song is a favorite of mine and the kids. YouTube that schnitt. So I went from talking to […]

hey. sup? Ever stare into the distance and realize whatever goal has been set is as far away as ever?  scratch that. not in the mood. I used to love riding my bike. Never understood how so many Miles in a bike kept me so fat as a kid. But I loved that feeling. Stephen […]

Good day my loves Amazing how things can change in the span of a fortnight. Back then I had two ladies I was interested in and an appendix. Now I have two more weeks until I can start thinking about working out and no prospects. And that feels like a good soft reboot.  Was talking […]

Hello my sweet. Not been a whole lot on the dating front. I am not quite to that point again. Rehab and mental exhaustion have almost killed the loneliness.  Or made it the centerpiece of a crown of thorns.  One or the other.  I have been trying to pick up the pieces but apparently am […]

Hello my dear friends Been quiet lately. Things have spiralled out of control as they are known to do. Everything is going to shit and I am just sipping a monster and watching it burn.  Dating is a bullshit, fools game that no one wins from. Like working for someone else. Or dreaming. Or having […]

Meh. Not much to report. Pain is low enough I am over doing it and making it worse.  Kids weekend. Sleepover Saturday for my daughter. Good times were had.  I have not been in a good place to seek the opposite sex. Don’t know if I do not want the hassle or the possibility. Sort […]

Story of my life right there. Everything escalates as it percolates and then encapsulates my mental real estates. It is a constant series of ups and downs. It may be hard to read, but it is nigh impossible to live. I am not suicidal. I have children. If I were suicidal I would be a […]

I am not doing well. My brain chemistry is way out of whack. I can feel it pressing down on me. This great depression filling everything with inky black tendrils of cold.  Not even Motörhead covering God Save the Queen is helping. Because fucking Lemmy is dead. Been binging Bowie and Lemmy. All the greatest […]

The last couple posts have been rather depressing. Probably because life has been pretty depressing. I am so far down rock bottom is inviting just for the breeze.  But I am high as fuck. Numb for the first time in days. It barely hurts to breathe.  So let’s talk. Easy Breezy. I love feeling fuzzy […]

Thus continues the tale of loss. I am in a shit ton of pain dear reader. it only hurts when  I breathe too deeply or try and move. And do not get me started on needing to take a dump.  For both of our sakes. But I am speaking from the future. this is about […]

Hi. Been all week. Sorry. I did mention I suck. Skip this if you have a happy feelings. Been a week and I feel like crying. Am crying. I hurt. Fuck. If you are smart check back next week. My cat died Tuesday. She was badass. Her name was Xiu Xiu, after a neat and […]