I have been lucky in my life to have singular moments that exist both in and out of time. Times that transcend known reality and seem to bend physics around them.

Today was one of those. 

It has been a long time since I had the honor of witnessing a true spectacle. 

The last time was years ago. My neighbor across the hall was a barely functional alcoholic. He has a series of girlfriends that travelled between meth head to lot lizard. One day, as they were prone to do they stood in the causeway, loudly expounding on one another’s virtues. The lovely lady of Wal-Mart screamed in a wonderful voice “You can’t even get hour dick horde!”

Yes horde. not hard. It was repeated ten to three thousand times. He could not get his dick horde. I sat, stoned, laughing harder and harder as visions of thousands of penii rode the horses across the Mongolian plains. And I realized that my neighbor had a lone penis, no longer able to summon the horde.

poor bastard

Years prior, my favorite person ever (except for the kids and whatever woman possibly ever gives her sanity for me) Chaingun and I were sitting and talking about music. And smoking a lot. Out of nowhere he said two unequivocally genius statements.

1. He looked me dead in the eyes, for no known reason at all, and said, “I would suck a dick to kill a man.” Brilliant.

Moments later he turned to me again. I felt electricity in the air. Time froze. A cardinal was stuck in mid flight behind him right outside the window. I heard the clock ticks slow so that minutes seemed to flow between them.

2. “Call me Chaingun.”

Yes sir. And in my head I have ever since. these zen like moments fill the cosmos with the sound of babies giggling.

He had gone through nicknames prior to this. Had some after. But none that shook the knees of the Gods.

Another moment came from him. Plus I need to recount the one today. But not now.

Antici. 

pation.

be well my sweets