i had to
shed my cells
once again
leavingbehind
vivisections
offadedyouth
as i stubbornly
cling to the
sad truth
these scars
were carved onto
someoneelseentirely

i am no longer
who you once thought
you may have known
but we both know
you never cared
how much you knew
your assumptions
always carried the weight

and over time
i came to see you never
let me see you
just the facade
and whoever lived
behind those
bigbeautifuleyes
as much a stranger
as the accumulated corpse
of who i once wanted to be

these lips which longed
only to be kissed by you
have chapped and peeled
until those dreams drifted
and these nascent smiles
have never been blessed
by your intoxicating spell

those neurons that fired
at the merest thought of you
detour to dead ends rather
than the roundabout i always
seemed to chase you around
and these newest neural
pathwaysleadtodifferentdreams

these liesi long to believefailing
organicallyto initiate onsetorgan failureas
her smile scarsmy inner eyelidsand i am too
weakto not shut my eyesall while i long to
shedskin which seemslike someone else’s