this is not, words

this is not my suicide note this is not my last good bye to you, my friends, my family, my love lost, my love never found, my almost, my missed chance, my every evil thought this is not that this is not my cry for help, my plea for forgiveness, my screaming shaking voice broken […]

Webs, words

non-existent again still not sure any longer if i ever existed in the first place, not really, not any more not sure i want to it all seems like too much, the effort required to be functional, to be part of this spiderweb, plucking strands and hoping for a place i fit but i feel […]

Eye Contact, words

I avoid eye contact whenever possible they say the eyes are the window to the soul, a look with in, and I don’t want you to see what is within me, to judge by my lack of character, to see past this character that I portray, to see what I lack so I avoid eye […]

Mr D, words

I showered and shaved my head today that doesn’t sound like much to you but it was monumental for me, just getting up and moving was feat of legend I sit here and wallow in the agony because what if I were to go outside what if I had to interact with someone what if  […]

Anemic Anthems, words

two weeks until the kids return solitary confinement until then, these walls and my own frantic screams the only companions, the words constant and undiluted, unlimited in speed and force, a physics equation of the breaking point of a man limit reached, exceeded, the duality of depression and longing intricate and become one I need […]

Lana born Luke, words

went out for a coffee with a trans lady, curiosity abounded, the struggle, the looks, the questions from with in and out, stepping out of our comfort zones she was beautiful, polite and aware to how precious life is, born one thing but destined to be another we chatted about normal things, books and art, […]

Blackened Saturday, words

the walls are closing in on me this morning made the sacred pilgrimage to the Mart of Wal, the quest to find bread and milk a success over dressed in shorts and shirt, pajamas the flavor of the day the remnants of a great battle marked the entire marketplace, I saw the decapitated head of […]