eels

eels in my chest wriggling unrestrained wreaking havoc on internal dismays a moray lurking behind ivory ribs drenched in decedent sin coiled around the wheezing poetic heart inscribed with every word she ever wrote in dream

reasons to avoid eye contact

the lone bee of winter sorrow sluggishly flies barely able to hover over the brown stalks of summer promise unfulfilled the air smells of rain that heavy ozone scent of impending storms it has been this way for days never quite letting loose the flood impending a sail boat on the gray waves buffeted by […]

two middle fingers aren’t nearly enough

four thousand five hundred darts thrown at a swaying board on the backside of a braying incontinent jackass at times i wonder at when the well will dry when thewindchimesthebirds thewildflowersthefool thedevilthemoonthecoffee thesquirrelsthevoid will just go silent will my madness eventually reach a point where it becomes indecipherable has it already i will write one […]

frequencies

empty parking lots across the once bustling city nothing remains but stray fools spilling their guts across the broken pavement as plastic bags hover in silent judgment if i can find a way to tune the satellite array attached to my aorta i can beam this signal across the aether to find your perfect heart […]

(n)aked midnight

i dont have mucha kiltand a wilted chrysanthemuman open hearta tangled mindand the sunshinein her smile too many milestraveledthe scarsof a thousand fightshidden in hazeldisambiguationalong a pitch stained soul an ocean of wordsto drown youthe center pedestalin a pantheonto worshipin raptureon bended knee i dont have mucha couple pairs of vansanxietyan open minda poet’s heartand […]

achilles

achilles’s tendonis that historyforgetshis lover patroclusso impressedby his battle prowessand being dippedin the river styxthey ignore the heartof his tragic tale

dreamslurry

swaying with a simian gaitthe pockmarked yellow orangutanpulls itself over the eastern skyto clamber uproariouslyover the incidental frictionssparking in incessant moonlustallegorically acrossthe impudent sadnessencroaching on pentacular fieldsof viridescent vitriol ransack the outhousesdressed in rustic business attirestrutting idiotically a studwith swollen blackened testiclescocksure yet insolently shallowstrike down the bloodlust inthe nascent dreamslurryripened with irrigated trauma passed […]

recoil

the breakdown begins at the atomic level the nucleic fabric unravels a random surge of quarks spinning off into the absence between rationalities treading the edge of self destruction as seen from the vantage of the incredible molecular catastrophe wrapped in parchment skin penning the most pedantic odes in a solemn plea to the entropy […]

kerosene

if blood is thicker than water and i have kerosene in my veins rushing towards the embers floating around my steam powered heart making me nothing but a knee-jerk reactionary in the garb of foolish incomprehensibilities half as clever as he is loveable which leaves him a fraction of the nothing swelling inside waiting for […]

migrainular

i had finally found a position, head just so, body angled, foot tapping along with the stabbing in my skull, my body tuned to the exact shape needed to lessen the agony that sweeps in waves with every accidental breath too heavy or impatient blink of the eye if i believed it would help i […]

mortuary blues

parked next tothe cemeterywhere the dead leavesswirlpoltergeistsmoaning throughthe rusted iron fenceas the chill of winterthe touch of the graveand the lingeringscent of formaldehydeplaysa subtle tuneover my fleshcutting throughmy clothesto curl aroundmy indecent sins the sun isa wan reflectionof itselfas if shining withthe captured raysreflectedby the moonredirected in itsabsent malaiseas the sparrows songmocksthe squeaking wheelsof the […]

means to an ending

he returned to the pawn shop five days in a row he never spoke just stood at the counter staring down at the rings the silence stabbed at his ache on the sixth day he simply pointed at the silver band with a demure diamond chip and six feet of rope coiled above the door […]

coiled

i am coiledwoundtighter and tighteras the brass gearsin my mindkeep turningone clickat a timemy heart isbeating outsideof my chest the thoughtsturnwith the gearstarnishingthe brassuntil everydarknessfeels magnifiedi cannotfind my centeri cannotfind my calm i am atime bomband the timeris counting downand i needsomeoneto cutthe red wirebefore iexplode

self inscribed cosmos

he would run his fingers along the trackmarks on her arm, ignoring the scars of addiction, lost in the hidden design, forming new constellations on her pale night sky sketching daydreams upon her countenance of self inscribed cosmos she was floating in the warm waves, awash with pollutants that beguiled the insolence in every weighted […]

angular flames w/EC

you smile at me, sharp a sweet kitten, with a lone scared canary, to move like a razor over my constricting throat I don’t have a means to an end, just instinct and a blend of honey and lemon that makes every touch sting. There’s beautiful footage of little trapped butterflies with their wings beating […]

leathery flutters

in dream, the waxy rivulets merrily run down the candle; a tiny flame, expected only to illuminate these remains; lost in the velvet darkness a wicked soul is smoldering; hushed cries settle, silent fluttering of leathery wing. i search for you in these winding corridors bathed by the wasteland slowly simmering beneath my pulse every […]

mood ring eyes

she always knewwithin momentswhat i was feelingeven thoughi neverspoke the wordsaloudshe would walk overand put her handto my cheekwhile staring deepinto my eyesbefore knowingexactlywhether to meltinto my armsor furiouslypress her lipsto mineone leadingto the othernine timesout of tenbut it wasthe knowingof whichto lead withthat alwaysamazed me onceafter we hadfinishedwhat our lipshad startedi asked herhow she […]

consumed

carve your passion along my tender ache so the world can see that i am yours sink your teeth into my surrender as my fingers find every nuance in your inferno until my blackened hands have cleansed you of every sinful thought in the perdition of my all consuming desire to be drowned in your […]

honest

the ugly words reflect the author the beautiful words showcase the muse the sorrow shows the past while the uncertain hints at the future with every i love you i fear i poison the pot a lifetime of reminders that i never seem to be quite enough emotionally absent while silently screaming the words that […]

juniper

juniper berriesdeep blue againstthe ivory driftseach flakereflectsredirectsrefractsthe lightbuilding froma single beaminto anunfettered blindnessthat encapsulatesthe scenein pure whitenothing the juniper bushripe with berriesa snow ladenevergreen againstthe backgroundof blurredmisconceptionthe sparrowshop atopthe virgin snowuncaringthat the bountywas never fortheir greedy beaksyet imagining every sweetis theirs alone

curled up in a hell all of my own

soft motesof sorrowtwinklein the abeyancebetweentrue and false the puppybarksat every noisein the hopesthe masterhas cometo free itfrom the kennel there isan analogytherebut the tasteof amber burningon my tonguehas my mindin another placemy tonguedoingother things lost inthe pavlovian dystopiawe happily plantnever seeingthe bulbsare upside down maybe the coldhas mefeelingphilosophicalor maybethis feelingin my chestthat singsfor the chairto […]

darkness leading me to you

trapped in this four wall apartment lingering scents of her phantom perfume i lay in bed as the rains come down keeping the sky aloft with the tears that drown out the world sylvia and hank red faced screaming to wake me from this shattered dreamthistle as i never really figured out what this whole […]

the afterglow of everything falling apart

the pinatas are filled with maggots suckling on the unwrapped sweets tucked into papermache mementos the cards are filled with ink scratched reminders from another time when heroes and viilains were easily deciphered these faded photos bring back the memories when dreams were within reach and happily was ever after electrified desserts course along the […]

water myths and echos w/EC

gone, past the edge of winter, she was gone, gone, gone, a last swirl of snowflakes spinning in her passing the sparrows hop, from branch to branch, in curious titillation, the red squirrels skitter in search of forage the wind blows vaguely from the east, lackadaisically over the fields of infertile blessing The vacant stares […]

a venn diagram living in the overlay of hopeless and romantic

there is nospecific momentthat i canrecallwith any sort ofclaritywhen i becamea secondary characterin the storyof my own life at some pointthe wordsbecame the focusas i fell fartherfrom the stage lightsuntil i woke upand didn’t recognizethe collection of flawsstaring backuncomprehendingly now as istumble blindlysearching forthose thingsthe former occupantof this scarred massof ugly indignation soughtup to the […]

m is as empty as the poet

a misconception missed connections a misinterpretation in this misery of missing her misconstrued misremembered this misanthropic malady of misgiving misread in the meandering misuse of my misunderstood myopia igetlostintheundercurrents drowninginsyntax inpurposefulmistakes madebyaccidentaltruth it’scoldmyteethchatter asinconsequentialsfall

looking for you

i couldn’t figure out why i always felt a disconnect to the world around me until i found her and it all became clear my body is right here in texas my mind is lost in the words and my heart is beating two hours behind in west coast time while my eyes keep looking […]

in the quiet

in the quiet i can feel them course through my blood demons whispering soft lullabies i can hear her voice feel the crack across the supple skin of innocence in the quiet i can feel them writhe around my brain stem luxuriating in subtle despairs murmuring hatred into the lost waves of ego supplicating id […]

choir

i hear the chorus sing your praises but no matter how beautiful the words we both know it is my words that constrict your lovely little scar shaped heart every tragedy written line by line down the yellowed papyrus of my soul spells a certain doom as yet untasted so savor the sweet songs they […]

hell is reflected in every shimmer of pain

the factories along the highway manufacturing clouds that billow over the grimy cityscape angry faces scowl trapped in single file morose lines of rumbling vehicles spitting noxious vapors horns gleaming in the dull red glow of rivers of lava as the skies open to let the tears of the damned smudge the filth of heartashes […]

woke

i woke in the middle of the night to see the wispy image of a woman staring down at me from the ceiling her features were familiar her eyes rained pure hatred in waves that seemed to contort ferally as she whispered my every failing into the solemn dark the rust dried, a trail running […]

privacy fence

the privacy fence around my heart is not just to keep myself and those i love protected but to prevent the accidental affections from crushing each of us under the weight of false adorations frequently i cut myself on the jagged shards that once formed a real person now nothing but a collection of scars […]

shared

every second she shares is a gift to be savored not a trifle to be squandered in the hours they become love means not being taken for granted but understanding that out of billions of souls two lights responded in harmony and that’s awfully fucking special

lips

in the end no matter how much you scrub my fingerprints rewrote part of your dna now when the lights flicker or the breeze turns cool across the nape of your slender neck you only remember my breath my lips the way you forgot to breathe when i sat with my hand high on your […]

rotten

the core of the apple has rotted through as domestic threats wrapped in falsehoods storm the capitol and i am sad as we roast the corpse of a bald eagle over the flames of the constitution burning in a dumpster what did we allow to happen in the land of the freebase home of the […]

quicksand soul

the deeper ingrained into my heart you become the more i worry about how my quicksand soul will swallow you whole i vacillate between my need to pour my love across your tattered seams and the knowledge i break everything i touch so please accept my sincerest apologies as i spill my feelings across the […]

coffee and her

the early morning ritual for the fool plays out the same most mornings with variable rates of anxiety wake an hour before the alarm lay halfway between states of consciousness as his heart sings a soft serenade lost in her until the alarm sounds coffee drips as the shower sputters to life the electric razor […]

bedside table

she keeps my heart on her bedside table so in the middle of the night she can listen to the murmurs where my dreamself whispers the lines i can never get quite right to the moon who understands this longing that tugs at my pulse much the same way he can pull the seas but […]

lost in transition

she used to sign every note with x’s and o’s a lipstick kiss in lieu of her name a hint of her perfume hovering just above so when i awoke she had given me a kiss the last note was still signed with exes and ohs the lipstick replaced by a cursive good bye tear […]

nebulous(lost in you)

i fell into the whorls of her fingerprints running down my side evaporated into mist as her breath touched my skin drowning in the storm signalled by the thunder in my chest the lightning in my veins while the scent of her pollen drifting along my psyche keeps this smile stapled to the edges of […]

pinwheels

./redyellowbluegreen/ the pinwheel spins under the weight of my breath /redyellowbluegreen/ am i just a punchline scribbled in the margins of your defecit[heart] a pinwheel to be spun /redyellowbluegreen/ by the weight of your absent affection as you affect a caring{demeanor} the maple seeds spin lazily to the ground cyclopean helicopters of latent syrupy promise […]

a(n)other morning ode to her

in the quietest part of the morning when the world is still sleeping except for the poets and thieves as the sun sits just beneath the horizon as the sky transitions from black to shades of ultraviolet wonder while the coffee brews in sputtering drips my heart screams your name so loudly i fear to […]

draped in brimstone

she set me free like lincoln freed the slaves with a wink and a nod to the camera she saw my future sloppily written on the palms of my hands before carefully scrubbing them clean as i slept she was an angel draped in brimstone, smoldering footprints wherever her feet touched the ground, her tarnished […]

wake up crying

some morningsthe pillowclutched tightmakes a poorsurrogatefor wheni wake upcrying buried inunansweredprayerslikean avalanche ofabandonedcicada huskswith faintlipstick kissesgone graywith dust

misquoting emotion

she was speaking neruda while i was quoting hank spanish moss draped over the bedside lamp adding an ambiance to the mood she was trying to set while i stomped around shaking bottles for one more sip my brain fixated on the her we both knew she wasn’t she whispered keats in nonsensical rhymes while […]

binary heartspasm

into the unblinking eye eternally crusted with sleep unslept clouded with dreams undreamt falling into the infinite miseries in unending waves of incessant woe on a cloud impossible in its regularity lies a pomegranate dirt still clinging to the crimson bruise colored skin syncopated binary heartspasms incorporated into the red stained fingers she playfully runs […]

as empty as every line

i give youevery ounce ofmy agonyshareevery bit ofmy lovelet you swimunencumberedthrough myinfinite sorrow i ask fornothingin return but youinsiston more anything thatisn’t left tosteamon the concreteunderthe dusk skiesis hidden awaywith alavender bowfor her there isnothingto see hereno oneto bethis brokensex dollwith anoverabundance ofvernacularfailingsis less thanthe sum ofhis everyfruitlessendeavor just anugly stain onpoetic longingas empty asevery […]

vultures pretending to be songbirds

i wear the scars of every incidental adoration in the colorless indentions between the lines written for the her they project themselves into carelessly as tic marks form a callus in the callous disregard shown to intent scrubbed so many unwanted lipstick stains from pink flesh that the weeping wounds from misplaced affection leaves every […]

baby teeth in the branches of civility

light flares for the blind sound drums for the deaf there is a movement coming fresh linen for the lepers beneath the gnarled branches of the old twisted oak a pestilent rejoinder from sickness long ago baby teeth hang from memory filament to chatter incessantly on the foul morn breeze bemoaning each tawdry sunbeam refracted […]

her words/my skin

her quicksilver tongue runs along the indecent curve of my feral desire her smile a razor carving my inferno into bonfires to guide her fingers around my heart her breath across my flesh my scars erupt in neon my pulse adapting to her rhythm her jagged pierces my smooth, our venomous blood no longer sated […]

rapid cycling

external stimuli triggered episodic rapid cycling self destruction is more addictive than any synthetically structured intoxicant you bring your smile i will bring the matches catch a wave maybe the mania can wash us far enough from shore your flotsam to my jetsam the embers float specks of civilization like pollen wrap your legs around […]

a refusal to swim

the trash blows happily on the cold wind swirling in the causeway as the fool squints up angrily at the bright gray sky hoping for a stray sunbeam to illuminate the shadows across his brain he is learning to cut the things that serve no purpose out of his mind with the surgical precision of […]

time left alone w/EC

I dreamed of the weight of your hand on my hip and a labyrinth of silences tenderly landscaped by harsh words and solitary sentences i dreamed of the salt of your flesh on my tongue and of kharma and tao as portrayed in the subtle way the moon controls the tides I’ve been a peony […]

4/5ths

i wokewith a wreatheof wildflowerslovingly woundaround my heartevery beatsending herpollen deeperinto every nookof my stainedglass soul possession isfour fifthsof the lawand i am hers

inches

she claimed the damsel role leaving him to twirl his mustaches as he tied her to the railtoad tracks of another insipid tale of love gone sour leaving him in a flux that saw a flood of would be rescuers cutting the ropes he never saw them tying as he pined away for something that […]

pitter patter of deflated dream

lost in the pitter patter of penguins dancing across the hoarfrost covering my mind sidestepping the rain falling over this concrete mausoleum disguised fitfully as a city the temperature falls with every aching breath expelled down empty streets in crystalline malaise the potholes threaten to swallow me whole to drown in the discarded daydreams that […]

dream

the ugly truth is i have killed some of the most beautiful dreams in my absence but never has there been a dream half as lovely as you which scares the hell out of me i don’t want to wake, but i am getting better everyday, maybe because this is one i believe in

word/salt

every word that dribbles from my poetic longs to sleep in your lovely ventricle to be swept along through your arteries to finally nestle lovingly into your brain maybe this one will convey what it means to me when i whisper my love in the middle of the night these words will saturate your dreams […]

frustrated

no matter how tightly i squeeze my eyes shut how earnest the prayers muttered to the silence above the absence within whispered to whomever wherever whenever the only answer is the same heaven is a dream for good boys to chase hell is all around us everyday so i don’t waste my breath on hopes […]

plucking stars

she sat calmly plucking stars from the sky i watched as she peered at each one carefully murmurmed softly before setting each gently back in place she handed one to me from orion’s belt a swirling expanse pulsing in my shaking unworthy grasp i leaned close cupped it in my palm breathed an exhalation of […]

first act on repeat

a part of me desperately clings to the pages of this first act time has proven that once the second act begins the hidden aspects eventually turn me from love interest to villain begins to creep along the edges am i the hero in this ironic tale encompassing misadventures through the bottom rung i wasn’t […]

blank dismissal

i have burned bridges that spanned chasms between hearts salted the earth in the memory of agonies shared the ugly truth is always feeling lost left love stagnant in the mire filled with the bloated corpses of feral adoration written odes to dead lovers whose last breath carried blackened petals that attached rusted anchors to […]

clay

she speaksdirectly to my heartthrough thesilent syllablesleft hangingoff of the page i screamhoping she hearsthrough the clutterin the empty crieshollowing outthe soul of poetry i am in lovewith this womanwildflowersin her hairdripping poetrywith every smile every odehas been to hersince the momenther words took rootin my mindi knew i was hers she reachesinto my chestto […]

maybe tomorrow

for a moment the dark sky was a promise of cerulean sanctity over a cold gray land i sit shivering staring out the window as the coffee steams lazily beset by longing and as the sky takes on a rose quartz luster the clouds reflecting the city below i murmur my love into the rising […]

tips of our tongues

the air feels electrified as i stare up at the ceiling thinking about all the new mistakes we can make the new experience of doing things we have done a million times alone now together comparing battle scars as the sun drags itself across the sky no one can save us from ourselves but at […]

pastel slip w/EC

Someplace inside those strung out little miracles, it’s still raw. somewhere inside these jagged little vivsections, it’s pure magic Monumental love notes in the key of peony petals are snows deepest secrets and my hearts finest healing black ice on the byways between thoughts, a blizzard of pollen tickling the edges of the afterglow of […]

halfway

i am surrounded [by madmen and suicides] every word that screams off the page pushes me towards one of the only two options seemingly available for a self medicated poet with too many feelings dragging himself across the broken glass signifying another day staring out the window at a world that is missing the one […]

incidental coffee

light effused itself through the canopy in unnecessary bars of yellow a grid filled with pollen lazily suspended in an absence of air briefly i considered myself a cat burglar in eighteen eighties paris seeking to escape with mona lisa packed securely on my back a lackluster ballerina pirouetting through a bastardized war zone slippers […]

aspiration

the fartherinto my personaldisillusionmenti stumblethe moreseem to be calledby thisillusionary sensethat my brokenis a tragedy which justshowcaseshow sadthe world iswhen truthis seen asa revelation we spendso longsearching forthe right lightingthe right anglethe right filterto make ouruglysomething the worldwill perceiveas beauty we loseourselves we give awaythe bestpieces of ourselvesfor the fleetingadoration ofa world waitingfor the nextstimulito […]

sleepy, but not falling back asleep

in the jarring transition from vested in sleep to standing blearily in front of the toilet my skin still pebbled pupils midslit as the gecko dream lingers a transparency over the real world careful to not touch anything in case it gets but then it isn’t the mad dash up the wall any longer but […]

have it all

when i handed you the blade i hoped that maybe somehow you could make me a real boy carve a window in the side of my head so you can see how i am always lost in you cut a door into my chest so you can see the cuckoo waiting patiently for the clock […]

magic of her

some quiet moments weigh as much as a black hole growing in your chest she said consistency was the key to her heart but little did she know i had been consistently falling apart since my first tremulous breath an apocalypse in half measure but in those quiet moments the swirling sorrow that entwines itself […]

reverse phoenix

how longhave i feltlikea figmenta fugitivea tall talejust the whispers ofan ugly soulthat criespaint smearson the runfrom future sinsa trail ofheart shapedpockmarkswhereverhe restshis cavernous skullthe winding rootssnake throughhis steam poweredinsubstantiality i am eitherthe deficient sumin the rambling odesa paint by numberspoetora shadow box prophetdrowningin wordsno onewill ever seeforetellingan endingthat sounds sogoddamnedinviting the thing is even […]

squirrel

you sofill my mindat timesi cannot recallif ihave writtena poemor just beenso lostin youthe worldhas becomeone there are onlyso many waysto tell youthati love youso insteadi whisper itintothe ears ofevery squirreli seeso they cancarry itthrough the treesif any squirrelsstareit’s becausethey justwant to seewhat all the fussis about maybethat could bea poem

caste

i was alwaysa mothwith theaspirationsof a fledglingbutterfly so when i wasburntto a cinderby your flameit simplymade sense it was justmy placein the emotionalcaste systemspun outof nirvana

tense

i am past tense hovering somewhere just outside of present stressedanxious beyond tense freely traversing temporal anomalies knotted into the shoulders balancing the globe she sits patiently a peony petal motionless on the placid surface directly in the eye of my tornadic sense of self destruction a counter rotation to the heartshatter in serpentine remnants […]

light keeper soliloquy

it was an unlit tomb on a small strip of land beaten mercilessly by the sea; a needle from which a great light once warned of shallow waters ahead. now a frost covered gravestone to an industrious past; a last jutting bone from the skeleton of whalers seeking ambergris afloat on the whitecaps. before edison […]

sple(n)dor

we float along on the backs of alligators down the slow moving river, turtles sunning on a lazy day, there was nothing exotic about our lounging though the eyes of gators seemed unimpressed; and you laughed your laugh that plays the bones of my spine like a xylophone, shimmering symphonic waves of pleasure, a tuning […]

(un)written w/EC

in the morning song of the sparrow, i hear your voice She wants to touch him the way his music does, fluidly and on his knees in the silver light of the moon, i feel your presence Her bottom line is showing and it’s his name written in flower petals under the magenta skies, the […]

crimson stains

feeling inconsequential in a sequential pattern of repeating selfdetrimental implosions along my cardiac redaction today is a day for screaming silently into the plastic world filled with distracted emotive disconnections echoing back milquetoast inflections my anterior cardiac infraction directly correlates to the relapsed dismality that is only found in store brand miseries i long to […]

candlelit lonely

the flame flickers a small ball of yellow suspended above the wick a boa of black smoke coalesces around the breath of fire long tears of melted wax run in rivulets adding to the girth of the whole while ignoring the steadily shrinking waxen stature the room itself alive with mercurial shadows that change the […]

dream first

she told me to go fuck myself but managed to say it in cursive. so as i walked away there was still a part of me that wondered what her lips taste like when she has sat at the edge of orgasm for half an hour every cell screaming for the release that builds behind […]

vulgarity

it hovers there a vulgarity in the vapid unblinking orb of eternity worms darting into the occular incongruency infinitesimal longing invisibly secures my every cell to the tantric call of your pulse in the seashell i cup over my ear as my every halted breath cries out in silent adoration the underbelly of spiral disenchantments […]

atlas

she had anatlasprinted onthe sheetsso every timewe made loveit wasa global eventmy handsand hungry mouthexploringa differenthemispherefrom the onewhere shemoaned aloudin tectonicdivisions ofshifting ecstasy

morning ugly

the fine print on the contract for one tattered soul in exchange for drowning in an ocean of diction never mentioned grinding your softest bits to dust to make the ink the heartthistle quill imbued with a breath swollen with broken sobs barely held back the magician doesn’t show the audience how the trick is […]