our tale, pt I

our tale begins like any other two people, desperately unhappy, give up on anything more a tale as old as time really it started innocently enough a fool spilled his guts out to a seeming indifferent world after yet another failure a curious woman stumbles upon him, reads deeply into his words, discovers the hurting […]

cloud

this hotel bed is too big, without another in which to share it a cloud one that doesn’t feel right alone i will clutch my pillow, pretend it is Her, the fool lost in dream when i awake, with Her scent still in my mind, the phantom feel of Her lips, Her skin pressed close […]

duck duck

fatalistic not nearly drunk enough for this sober living sitting in the waiting area reading statistics about plane crashes malfunctions deviancies in maintenance routines geese sucked into the engine researching mountains in the flight path weather variances i enjoy flying just feels roughly apropos the fool is happy bound to be turbulence beware of geese

close your eyes

close your eyes my love, can you feel my hands upon your skin, my breath upon your neck do you hear my voice, as i whisper into your hair, savoring the smell of you as we lie here my warmth soaking into you as you push back into me, as i envelop you in a […]

coffee

she opened her ring, slipped the powder into the steaming cup of coffee a smile on her lips she offers me the mug, unaware i watched her nefarious deed i smile and take it she watches in anticipation as i gently blow on the brown liquid, declining her offer of sugar or cream my eyes […]

scarred lips

time and time again, the desperation led me to believe in the worm you set to float in front of me you could sense my need muddying the waters as i thrashed so the line was cast, my lip was pierced, you held me up as i spasmed in the open air i couldn’t breathe […]

spatial relationships

like a static image through an electronic microscope, delving deep into the secrets of the abyss between vibrating forms the view through a telescope, bringing the distant landscape into unsettling real and near focus, shrinking the distances it is possible to be right next to something eons away, yet to be right next to someone […]

understanding

the wind was fire on his skin like salt on open wounds. the sun was blinding lightning through his skull. blood welled up on the stones as he pounded fists fervently howled agony at the heavens. the gods ignored his screams today like they did every other. this was penance for untold sins. forgiveness was […]

fear the light

i didn’t know what was missing where this unsatisfiable hunger came from this bottomless need until you it has been so empty so cold for so long darkness draped over everything lost in my own shadow now i fear the light

razor

the sky is gray like a razor blade peeling layers away digging deeper leaving furrows in the freshly laid silt another riverbed of self destruction another vase of roses left to wilt close the blinds blinded to the truth blended into slush bland tasteless tactless the gray sky like a razor blade severed optic nerves […]

metronome

it’s silent a hush has fallen ambient noise turned to nothing as if someone hit mute on the universe then slowly a soft sound a gentle thump woosh thump woosh thump woosh the only thing that breaks the silence your heartbeat in my head a metronome keeping time rocking me to sleep i fall into […]

inversion

woke up on the wrong side of the bed, beneath it, to be precise the sound of goldfish singing echoing through the room, the glug glug symphony bringing a sense of calm sweeping over me i stepped outside to admire the day, pre-sunrise, the moon shining up into the oceans above me a school of […]

mobius smile

she walks across the room and my eyes were glued to her every step i love you the words fell out unbidden she smiles that smile that all smiles long to be a soft smile that belongs on her face that smile that belongs to me just as every bit of me belongs to her […]

have you seen me

have you seen me i’ve put my face on milk cartons across the country, stapled to telephone poles that serve no use in this modern wireless age lost in the poor reception of polluted airwaves, filled with digital signatures and trademarked registers have you seen me the sour faced fool with a chip on his […]

endlessly try

i would write a poem of love for you but poems have endings and this does not, so in truth, every day shall be a continuation, a brand new ode with every fresh beginning, another chapter in the ongoing tale of impossibility a second, third, thousandth chance at defining the undefinable in which you embody […]

Tonight! Panic Room Radio.

Official link below if you want to tune in. Chris Miller is a friend with immense talent as well. He’ll be leading off and I’ll be on around 1030CST. I like doing these things. I even did a test read of the section. I’ll probably stumble a bit, live reading and adrenaline get me. Panic […]

chase

his bellows rattled the stone walls around me i feel the ball of string getting smaller as i try and navigate the darkened halls the bodies of the lost litter the ground crushed skulls crunch underfoot i didn’t deserve this minos and his petty punishments i’ll find my way out vengeance will be mine i […]

ode to the nightingale

she sings on the branches of a once withered heart her song brings forth the sun a gentle melody that wakes the slumbering world oh nightingale oh nightingale the world is yours my love oh nightingale with plumage so pale your beauty outshines the horizon

slipping

i slip in to the metaphorical because i don’t have the basis in reality to explain these quasars shooting through my brain i fall into philosophical because i cannot find the answers to the questions pounding holes inside my cavernous empty skull but i slide back to you because the light is so inviting, it’s […]

three

in three words she made certain my heart belonged to her it wasn’t promises of forever nor declarations of love it was so much simpler than that you are enough in those three words as if attaching wings to my heart i was hers

a day

it’s a day for quiet contemplation and skull crushing pain an average day one where the birds are muted, the sky is bright, the wind blows foreign scents across the land it is a day for dreamers, lost in the heady notes of what will be it’s a day for subtle sublimation, returning to a […]

prismatic

it is the tinge of sudden inexplicable need that colors my world splits the pure white beam of hopelessness into a prismatic wonderland shades i only saw in dream reflect across the ceiling changing the normal into amazement what do you see when you close your eyes, what visions sweep through your mind do you […]

Thor’s Day! More shamless self promotion.

Thursday night yours truly is going to premiere the prologue to my first novel, Hardly Fair from the fool’s own mouth. It is going to be fun. Hopefully. I still can’t stand to hear myself but the words are solid so tune in! Might even do a poem or two. Who knows what will happen […]

mollusk

spiralling like a nautilus, falling into the mollusk’s mouth grinding down the throat of the turtle, floating on the solar winds disintegrating at the thought of your touch, falling slowly apart the invisible rays bombard us, stardust makes up our souls, we are slowly falling back into whence we came, you to return to being […]

yesterday’s remains

it’s been two years and still the occasional long hair peeks it’s way off the collar of a shirt trapped in the depths of the closet the same hair that tickled my nose when she leaned in for a kiss the same hair in a ponytail she would ask to be pulled it’s odd how […]

if

if these hands could draw, sketch the visions dancing if these hands could paint, dappled colors of the horizon if this voice could sing, the harmonies of true love if these words could speak, the thoughts pure as sunlight but there is a disconnect, between brain and body a schism, that refutes refrains, redesigns, defies, […]

somewhat

a pulsating traffic jam driven directly into the aorta no less consensual a hypodermic filled with angry bees shot directly into the trachea mainlining electricity from the junction box a lightning bolt epidural two meteors on a collision course with a cantaloupe hovering just on the edge of consciousness screaming underwater in bold type italics […]

softly

the music plays softly your face against my chest as we sway in time to the band you are a dream to me one i never thought could come true let’s dance through the night feel my arms wrapped around you my lips on your forehead as you look up at me the rest of […]

cleanliness

no one looks happy at the laundromat, dour faces and spinning loads faces staring at phones, children running about bored, at least the ones without phones to stare at we all air our dirty laundry at some point, why not in a building dedicated to it let the cyclical cleansing begin the dirt and stains […]

closer

nin closer comes on the stereo, windows go down, volume goes up i have always been partial to ministry but today this song resonates something primal inside of me lack of filter, filled with need, i sing it straight to you across the void it says everything i am thinking echos that growing out inside […]

drifting into you

in another world lying in bed with music wasting all the day let me sing softly to you my heart belongs in your hands in another time my hand stroking your long hair your hand on my chest the sweet warmth of your body pressed so tightly against mine drifting into you the place i […]

soundless

i am lost how many pills did i dry swallow on an empty stomach while searching the room for you what day is it too many without you my head is fuzzy my brain is stuck in a loop of destitution another soundless scream written from the bowels of loneliness trapped in this repetitive prison […]

fade away, fade away

as sleep takes me, dream calls to me, a vision dances in my head, ephemeral mists sway fade away, fade away the day is just a reflection of nights cold embrace fade away, fade away fall through the pinhole in the construction paper sky fear constricts as sleep calls, dream calls with rusty chains, the […]

2100

take my eyes, just know you accept her smile burnt into your mind take my heart, the arrhythmia taps out her name in a constant need take my soul, a lodestone that pulls in whatever direction her heart lies just burn me into ash and spread them across the ocean, let them eventually wash up […]

all things

as he walked across the broken glass strewn all over the floor he realized it was the sound as much as the cutting that got to him like a car on a gravel road crunching shifting with every pained step the song sang softly into his ears kept him going on ever onward from one […]

too late

i fell for you faster than the time between unclasping your bra to it hitting the floor my teeth like those of the long zipper down your skirt my breath the silken scarf around your throat my words wrapped to bind your wrists together against the headboard my intentions running up your thigh my dreams […]

vacuum

the distance between screams the man i am now from who i was to who i may still become so many times i lied that i ran out of words that didn’t sing true excuses fell apart like dream in the first moments of waking now i navigate the distance between seeking the path that […]

eyes

i want to lose myself in your eyes let all the broken fall away and find the solace of your perfection it would be so easy to do most of the day is spent dreaming it, the rest wishing it were here and now what would you do if i told you that i love […]

hunger pangs

whisper lies into my greedy ears, i will swallow them whole this hunger for anything is tantamount tell me your secrets, let me spin the finest silk of your slippery truths i will be your vault as long you remember not to feed me when the moon is full your sovereign source of stability ignore […]

pa(i)n

ramshackle house of horrors, haunted meat suit filled with pain, logistical nightmare given shape of insular sullen sorrow today’s a day to run away dancing around the mulberry bush, the rabid monkey chased the foolish poet, on his back it sprang, he screamed out in pain pop goes the blood vessel

music

when i die don’t look to my words for answers, don’t seek hidden secrets in the reams of inconsequential odes to her grab my ipod, a gift from my daughter years ago dust it off, hope it keeps a charge, pop in the earphones and listen there you will find me, the real me, not […]

ineffectual

The mountain rumbled. The Gods spoke through rocky spire. We asked what their will was and it rumbled more. The priests said all was well. I sent a sacred ox to Zeus anyway. That was last night. Today I awoke to the mountain belching black smoke. Lord Apollo and his fiery chariot were nowhere to […]

safe distance

she is the razor across my wrist, the spike on the monitor, the hemlock coated kiss that brings about my merciful end together we are kerosene and flame, the thin ice cracking beneath unsteady steps, the first hesitant shifting of an avalanche i am the retreating tide, she is the tsunami, the eye of my […]

head first

she crashed into me head first time froze as pieces of her passed through me incorporeal bits of one another, phantasms blending and morphing until the parts that exited were no longer the same as the ones that began a bleeding over then suddenly she was imprinted on my every cell i would never be […]

gone

it began with a snake a serpent coiled in the shape of a heart, lying still in her cold chest when i went to massage her chilled skin in an effort to return a semblance of life to her blue lips that’s when it struck the venom coursing through my veins pain and sheer pleasure […]

snapshots

small towns in texas are like time warps into another age howdy and y’all, big hair on the ladies, big mustaches on the men pickup trucks and farmers sitting in gas stations talking about fertilizer and breach births everyone knows the sheriff as he does his daily rounds syrupy thick accents and raised eye brows […]

the poet here

she stood with a smirk that read danger and gleam in her eyes that said it was too late so you’re the poet i nodded unsure of her intent do you write to get women i shook my head as confusion settled in she was lovely a petite lady with eyes of fire and lips […]

perfect day

the sun filled the world with vibrance, a light wind from the east, apparent by the old fashioned weather vane, gently kissed the land and it felt so goddamned disrespectful the day is perfect, seventy degrees without a cloud in the sky and i sit in the car watching the tractor dig into the hard […]

glitched

the birds in the bush are stuck in a loop, a glitch in the program that runs the simulation normally they trill a happy little song, this morning it sounds like a skipping record i look for other signs the world is devolving, stay away from the news though, too depressing the world won’t end […]

watching

i felt the eyes upon me as i walked like a prickle on the back of my neck making the hairs stand i could sense something with a tremendous hunger staring me down it was all i could do not to release my bladder and run screaming but i maintained my outward calm like a […]

flashes

flashes of light, blinding, disconcerting they run in the shadows the tapping of claws across the floor don’t be scared shh your panic draws them the scent of fear in the air an intoxicating musk what was that probably nothing the lights messing with your pupils making it hard to focus it sounds closer closer […]

driven

all we are is bags of hollow bones and lost dreams, barely sentient animals filled with the emptiness between cells trickling electricity, slowly falling apart yet beautiful there is something magical in the freak show of life, the happy coincidence of humans being hollow bones and fluidity, held together by butcher parchment and rubbery bits […]

night

he stood on the porch as the last rays of sunlight crept beneath gentle curve of the horizon he didn’t see any of it his eyes were focused elsewhere, on a different vista, on another vision of beauty when he was a boy the encroaching night was to be feared, to be reviled with night […]

or nothing at all

(erase) me, (delete) me from your mind, sleep without my presence, this obnoxious dream i personify nails across a chalkboard, scissors down your spine, a spider dancing on your forehead did you know that it was love at first light, infatuation by candle, desire in the glow of the moon (release) me, (take) me, like […]

light in the dark

i am darkness seeping from the hidden stars, warlock, black cat with emerald eyes peering into the shadowed soul my blood drips across the soil, poppies sprout from the crimson rain, their milk bringing visions of madness to all she is the spot of purity in the oil of my soul, the glimmering light of […]

shattered

it all crumble the false resolve the hope the smile plastered on so they didn’t know anything was wrong all week now they are gone faking it isn’t an option any longer i have held the wolves baying at the door off for as long as possible but that time is done can’t recall the […]

graffiti

graffiti, every written ode to her was just spray paint in a public urinal, ignored after awhile, grown to become just another eyesore in the day to day i became just a panhandler at the street corner begging for the small change glances she have to every other grubby loser with a cleverly written sign […]

falsely infused

tell me sweet little lies all day, i will believe them, innocuous little tales of fancy but don’t build up false hope, make a teetering tower of glass dreams around me i can sift through the facades of a hundred falsehoods, i cannot take another foolish hope gone bad use your slippery tongue to knit […]

holy shenanigans

they called him the Scaleless Demon his relentless quest to kill their entire kind was well known across the entire isle they were hunted slain no parley no reasons given just endless slaughter they were trapped the waters were a certain death as much as him as the last was murdered the island cleansed the […]

et tu narcissus

is it possible to be a self hating narcissist to dislike the reflection yet still reflect the behaviors of one who does if you can see the signs acknowledge their existence is it still possible to throw yourself over the side of the boat in the pursuit of yourself it isn’t a question of evil […]

ache

it’s pure agony i am at my breaking point relief is hopeless cannot recall lacking pain it has infused my being my broken figure torn asunder by torment left huddled in bed unable to fall asleep no end to relentless ache

past lives

the me i was moments ago died to allow me to be the person i am now i worry he died in vain did he take the coward’s way out to avoid the pain of life as this version fades in the dull ache as well i feel envious if there were a way to […]

glass

we are all just lies electrical impulses behind glass doll eyes temporarily lost to forever daydreams locked into meaningful never do you yearn to dance among the stars that burned out long before your birth to savor the taste of true romance a flavor that is more like a curse i have broken my vows […]

souled out

i see my book on the shelf, feel the emptiness in my chest, the triple sixes branded on my throat every journey around the sun another notch on the wall, another sliver of myself gone sold my soul for a chance at light, eternity for a glimpse of you, left it all at the fork […]

if he were, pt III; a lover

in his mind he composes a dissertation on the many reasons his heart dances with the mere thought of her he scribbles odes of need and desire into the electron void, hoping one will catch her eye and convince her of his value falling, falling, into the forever of her gaze, a speck of dust […]

(re)cycle

lenticular dismay strikes another beholden viewer, rancor and filed down to the bare nerve endings of another life wasted land fill in the blanks of trash heaped to overflowing prose into the aether that only seems to grow between us whispered words of wonder, whimsy, weighted with wistfully worrisome writs it’s all a game, with […]

sinner

blessed be by the sisters of perpetual misery, raked across the flames of sin by ravenous demons left to flutter like a tattered rag in the howling winds of eternity

pothole

on her journey through life i was a pothole where her soul lay in anguish for the briefest time an obnoxious dream keeping her spinning in place for far too long now she is free to travel the land, an eye open for more treacherous pitfalls with hazel eyes and the devil’s grin she learned […]

rodent

the man had tried every poison and trap possible but everyday at one that mouse came back climbing up the clock it was taunting him the little bastard but he had been down a similar path before learned from his past mistakes he had blinded the three rats the first time the flute worked too […]

if he were, pt II; a technician

he drives down the crowded street, music too loud, eyes darting to the phone in the cup holder, watching the directions at a snail’s pace his laptop in the bag on the floor board, his tools in the trunk, his mind racing with the need to write the thoughts that spin out of control why […]

it he were, pt I; a poet

he stands there, striped boxer briefs and bare chested, foot up on the sink clipping his toenails like the slovenly pig he is tattooed forearm, tattoos calves, pentacle necklace hanging limply in the air he catches a glimpse at himself and recoils in revulsion what the fuck happened to you scars on his hands, the […]

bitter fruit

oh forget the withered fruit upon the vine, the last vestige of summer, turned bitter in the cold winds of wistful memory stroll on with tired soles, down weathered stone paths, the joys of sunlight kissing your delicate features with tender lips strengthen thine heart milady, for the remnants of yesterday, the leftovers of before […]

cyclical normalcy

all of the cars sitting still on the freeway, unaware of the irony, the idiocy of being able to go anywhere and being stuck in place freedom isn’t free, it is just another set of shackles weighing you down nine to five hell to have four hours to run like crazy in order to have […]

scratching

there is a scratching right outside my door grating across the wooden frame as i drift to sleep i hear it growing louder frantic desperate i lay still holding my breath hoping it goes away hoping it is a dream fantasy over active imagination it’s happened three nights in a row this constant noise this […]

restrained refrain

another empty refrain another ode to need more words draped across her shoulders to shelter her from the manic dystopia that is life a thousand or more attempts at explaining the inexplicable the perfect convergence of beauty brilliance and breath taking wonder that she should see every single time she passes a reflective surface another […]

this time

he is curled up in a ball he knows what is coming but he always imagines it is going to be different this time this time it is going to be a clown making balloon animals it is going to be acrobats twirling by their teeth twenty feet in the air he will go to […]

voids

when i look into the mirror i only see the missing pieces i begin to ponder which side of the mirror i am on can you see the blank spots the voids where being real should exist the delineation from human to pretend

sock

mismatched socks are the only certainty in a universe of chaos happiness, love, desire; nebulous and unsure but wash a load of laundry and see if every sock shows up again i don’t even bother any more in any of it let my misery dress me in one ankle sock colored gray, one dress sock […]

thirteen o’clock

i lay here staring at the ceiling dandelion fluff coats my head the dull ache behind my eyes rancid reminders of the before when will it end my mind pleads the clock strikes thirteen again i draw the anchor from the violet waters, careful of cascading memories, the serpentine river carries wilted lilies to the […]

possessed by what isn’t in my possession

i stapled her picture to my chest in a fit of desperation, carved her name across my brain in the hope she would get caught up in her own wonder and give me a moment of peace, her presence talking over in totality it didn’t help, nothing works, the exorcist fled to find her, leaving […]

dreary

the sky looks how my heart feels, a rainy malaise darkening the dreary day no hint of sunshine, all light hidden away, a sepulchre cloth draped over the land candle lights sways in the morbidity of mourning, casting dancing ghouls i hear the ravens over head, skulking in the trees, watching for weakness to feast […]

unattainable

i pursue the unattainable, the barely imaginable, the stuff of legends, dreams, fables i pursue you with open heart and lack of hope no settling for less than the love that would make the dead weep, the heavens thunder, the ground spring to life beneath our step you deserve nothing short of everything, the world […]

like poetry

i would make love to you like words down upon the vellum, begin with frantic scratchings of the quill, but finding the circadian rhythm of the lines you deserve to be ravaged like poetry from the lips of the classics, taken like the modern greats, expounded like the epics of the formative firsts imagine these […]

tired of it all

i feel like i am falling farther and farther from okay, anxiety keeps building, tension is mounting to unbearable levels things are getting better then why oh why am i getting worse the thick make up, fresh coating of paint, does nothing to seal the cracks in the facade, to half the inexplicable fall into […]

haven and haven’t

wretched rejection of rancid affection, the regression of oppression, a lesson in lesions, depression is draped over shoulders sore from steady sobbing, robbing the day of light, a blank slate, work down by the elemental discourse of disconnected disease deemed dire and dreary the light filters through yon fog to signal false hope springing infernal, […]

pluck

the fabric of the universe slowly comes apart, i sit cross legged on the bare soil, plucking threads at random whispers of chaos meander into the aether how many times have i cast destruction with idle hands and worried mind no more craftsman than toddler with a sledgehammer, destroying every edifice my angry heart can […]

jar

i savored the flavor of your every kiss, saved them in a jar for later rainy days reminiscing when the day came, the one i feared more than any other, one draped in signage of coming soon this jar of cast away affection was all i had to fill me, emptiness became the new fuflillment […]

rev(illusion)

the revolution will not be televised it will be monetized it will be commercialized we are past the point in terrestrial diversions, excursions, retractions and distractions when the actual revolution occurs we’ll be busy chasing our tails and missing the broad strokes almost as if it doesn’t concern us at all the revolution is a […]