locksmith

seeking to pour myself into her padlocked heart to coalesce around the rusted tumblers seeking the right combination to unlock the love within her that screams to me in the silence between thunderous heartshivers an amateur locksmith locked out of his own perpetual longing out all night helping others escape the darkness inherent in a […]

over(be)come

i am tired, sitting outside the laundromat, of the indifference so causually given just exhausted from vagueries, as the line forms for the tapatia, my stomach grumbles the air is too thick with unspoken words, as i cannot navigate the ones actually spoken an empty bottle of cognac sits, a mist forming, i am not […]

grub

it is exhausting this inexhaustible fire sucking the oxygen from the room still i burn from within the dying ember of the very first star to simply stop when i say i don’t understand, sometimes that means everything, the metaphors make it impossible to see anything but the mud caked across my tongue, i am […]

hidden moon whispers, madly

some evenings i feel too earnestlike i could spill my every secretacross the milky way in gentleprose tucked in breathy whispersto the hidden moon high abovethe clouds there is nothing to stop the floodbuilding behind the hastilyerected levees and baby, i am waybelow sea level in the absence ofyour lips upon mine and i need […]

a second

i could not tell if it was her [eyelashes] my [heart] or the very [ground beneath me] that fluttered when she made eye contact across the crowded street but for a second briefly then gone there was a mystery /a wonder/ that seemed to suffuse the still world in the(golden nimbus)of dream as if nothing […]

dreary days

on dreary days like this the thought travels with every stinging lash of ache maybe i died expired just a spectre of promises dashed malingering in this too big bed staring up at an uncaring ceiling for eternity the ache an anchor keeping me tethered to a plane where i never truly existed outside sirens […]

a late waking for day draped in dread

i added gingerfreshly shavedto the coffee groundsthis morningan agonized skullthrobbing alongto the piteous whineof valves half rustedin my chestmy gutsfeel like an empty nettrailing behinda trawleron an ocean ofinsipid deathpullingpartially dreamt dreamsto the harborwhere all poetseventually end upon a benchas their ink flakesinto the seaof salty indignationfor words never read

al(i)en daydream

crystal leavessway beneaththe lavenderbinary sunsrefracting the raysinto a monochromaticarray of inverseprismatic dismayas shadows spawnin triplicateover sulfuric streams

by his own hand

it cannot be considered drowning if it is his own hands holding him under the surface is it suicide he insists if you can’t recall having lived the sky is always fucking gray and he cannot tell if it is following him or if he is causing it in the simple sin of existing in […]

string

she held a string that impossibly wound itself around the knot at the bottom of the moon i looked admiringly at the gossamer thread seemingly woven of platinum dreamwhisper that held the satellite far above dream or heaven or any other man made lie

fish

he walked in with an aquarium in his hands set it on the bar ordered a draft reached in his pocket pulled out a small can which he tapped carefully over the fishbowl likely there is a story there but i find my interest diminish as the idiotic thing chases the multicolored flakes i’d talk […]

general custer

it seems to me general custer was an average looking man with an exceptionally extravagant mustache but incompetence is a poor look for even the finest coiffed of would be perpetuators of genocide now a half remembered punchline dead as gravedirt but a damn fine mustache indeed

the field

each dandelionhas an evil eyesurroundedby soft petalscrying pollenatedbrimstone tearsunblinkingas the windblows throughthe nightmare fieldof fetid daydream

0.454kg

the world demandsits pound of fleshbut i am badat conversionsso i setmy heart on the scalein time for sobekto snap me updeemed unworthyas the sands swirlbeneath thisphotonegative delusion

obsolete

don’t wish upon me i am nothing more than an obsolete satellite burning up upon re-entry just a sad excuse for real crying while listening to sad songs sitting miserably at the corner of anxious weariness and charging windmills

i am normal, just not traditionally or technically

being different is something to be respected to be channeled embracing thinking angularly rather than shunning what is not understood it can take shape as a myriad of mental maladies excused by chemical imbalances brought on by trauma regulated medicated encouraged to try and just be normal but maybe through a different medium the miswired […]

brink of dream

every night the neighbor drops something the same something i assume it is his phone but sometimes in the middle of sleepless nights i wait to hear it fall to know i am not sleeping seconds tick by in strange dilation when the world outside is silent the tocks do not seem to equal the […]

la(in)somnia

i have lain still unmoving unbreathing through an evening where fhe world went completely silent no traffic no planes no wind through the chimes just my pulse in my ears i thought at first have i gone deaf am i asleep merely dreaming i lie awake blanketed in quiet i go outside it is cold […]

wesley willis, chicago poet

wesley was fromanother plane of existencea schizophrenicthat madesimplestrange songsyou couldn’t helpbut smile duringand he wouldheadbutt his fansso there wasnothingnot to loveabout the earnest poettelling storiesabout urge overkill showsor rock and roll mcdonaldsscream, dracula, screambeguiling simplicityhiding the geniustrapped behindhis madness rock over londonrock on chicagowesley willis, chicago’s secret poet

ojos vacĂ­os

went to the palm reader in the barrio searching for a bit of direction in a rudderless world she looked startled as i entered the room as if i was the one thing she hadn’t expected to see the candle flames fluttered in the chill breeze as she gestured me to the open seat across […]

naked (the koi)

i strip back so much i wonder at my own insubstantiality the breeze rustles through my ribcage making my dessicated lungs flutter like wooden chimes against my stillheart silt and dreamshards scattered in a rough approximation of where a fool once sat my skin spins on the breeze like trash on the side of the […]

selfie

goose feathers fill my stomach (pickled lies) sit fully formed behind {my maggot lips truffled denials in my [snout] nothing behind my \charcoal\ stare but simmering incompetence elephant ears frame acro-magnonbrow the incredible melting manroasted on the flames of living up to his actual potential as a stain on the carpet on the waiting room […]

cracked

i watched as he stumbled unsure what was happening it seemed he grappled with spirits beyond the scope of my reckoning then he fell his head striking the concrete his scalp cracking like an eggshell i watched the lines race over his face frozen in fear before the first piece of porcelain fell unleashing a […]

incapable

agitatedtoday easilyfrustrated start stopstutter thoughtsflightyas a caged bird i see the wordsbut the lossin translationcomes in the disconnectbetweenbrainheartandquill

the ceiling is heavy and i am tired

another feat of self medication in an effort to drown out the voices reminders of every failure every fallen tear down cheeks i only ever intended to kiss the light fragments off each slowly sliding droplet encapsulating the unintentional hurt torn through the pumice of passions extinguished another feat of pained dedication to the smiles […]

coffee in hell

it was the horn soundingthat finally took mefrom holding you closeback into the cold roomalone and dejected the battery half deadthe sound distortinginto a mocking squawksounding out through the quietstretched into anguish the pillow clutched closeno longer my lovejust a rapidly cooling reminderof the oblong natureas dream fades to reality no matter how i positioneven […]

eels

eels in my chest wriggling unrestrained wreaking havoc on internal dismays a moray lurking behind ivory ribs drenched in decedent sin coiled around the wheezing poetic heart inscribed with every word she ever wrote in dream

reasons to avoid eye contact

the lone bee of winter sorrow sluggishly flies barely able to hover over the brown stalks of summer promise unfulfilled the air smells of rain that heavy ozone scent of impending storms it has been this way for days never quite letting loose the flood impending a sail boat on the gray waves buffeted by […]

two middle fingers aren’t nearly enough

four thousand five hundred darts thrown at a swaying board on the backside of a braying incontinent jackass at times i wonder at when the well will dry when thewindchimesthebirds thewildflowersthefool thedevilthemoonthecoffee thesquirrelsthevoid will just go silent will my madness eventually reach a point where it becomes indecipherable has it already i will write one […]

achilles

achilles’s tendonis that historyforgetshis lover patroclusso impressedby his battle prowessand being dippedin the river styxthey ignore the heartof his tragic tale

dreamslurry

swaying with a simian gaitthe pockmarked yellow orangutanpulls itself over the eastern skyto clamber uproariouslyover the incidental frictionssparking in incessant moonlustallegorically acrossthe impudent sadnessencroaching on pentacular fieldsof viridescent vitriol ransack the outhousesdressed in rustic business attirestrutting idiotically a studwith swollen blackened testiclescocksure yet insolently shallowstrike down the bloodlust inthe nascent dreamslurryripened with irrigated trauma passed […]

recoil

the breakdown begins at the atomic level the nucleic fabric unravels a random surge of quarks spinning off into the absence between rationalities treading the edge of self destruction as seen from the vantage of the incredible molecular catastrophe wrapped in parchment skin penning the most pedantic odes in a solemn plea to the entropy […]

migrainular

i had finally found a position, head just so, body angled, foot tapping along with the stabbing in my skull, my body tuned to the exact shape needed to lessen the agony that sweeps in waves with every accidental breath too heavy or impatient blink of the eye if i believed it would help i […]

mortuary blues

parked next tothe cemeterywhere the dead leavesswirlpoltergeistsmoaning throughthe rusted iron fenceas the chill of winterthe touch of the graveand the lingeringscent of formaldehydeplaysa subtle tuneover my fleshcutting throughmy clothesto curl aroundmy indecent sins the sun isa wan reflectionof itselfas if shining withthe captured raysreflectedby the moonredirected in itsabsent malaiseas the sparrows songmocksthe squeaking wheelsof the […]

means to an ending

he returned to the pawn shop five days in a row he never spoke just stood at the counter staring down at the rings the silence stabbed at his ache on the sixth day he simply pointed at the silver band with a demure diamond chip and six feet of rope coiled above the door […]

self inscribed cosmos

he would run his fingers along the trackmarks on her arm, ignoring the scars of addiction, lost in the hidden design, forming new constellations on her pale night sky sketching daydreams upon her countenance of self inscribed cosmos she was floating in the warm waves, awash with pollutants that beguiled the insolence in every weighted […]

leathery flutters

in dream, the waxy rivulets merrily run down the candle; a tiny flame, expected only to illuminate these remains; lost in the velvet darkness a wicked soul is smoldering; hushed cries settle, silent fluttering of leathery wing. i search for you in these winding corridors bathed by the wasteland slowly simmering beneath my pulse every […]

mood ring eyes

she always knewwithin momentswhat i was feelingeven thoughi neverspoke the wordsaloudshe would walk overand put her handto my cheekwhile staring deepinto my eyesbefore knowingexactlywhether to meltinto my armsor furiouslypress her lipsto mineone leadingto the othernine timesout of tenbut it wasthe knowingof whichto lead withthat alwaysamazed me onceafter we hadfinishedwhat our lipshad startedi asked herhow she […]

juniper

juniper berriesdeep blue againstthe ivory driftseach flakereflectsredirectsrefractsthe lightbuilding froma single beaminto anunfettered blindnessthat encapsulatesthe scenein pure whitenothing the juniper bushripe with berriesa snow ladenevergreen againstthe backgroundof blurredmisconceptionthe sparrowshop atopthe virgin snowuncaringthat the bountywas never fortheir greedy beaksyet imagining every sweetis theirs alone

curled up in a hell all of my own

soft motesof sorrowtwinklein the abeyancebetweentrue and false the puppybarksat every noisein the hopesthe masterhas cometo free itfrom the kennel there isan analogytherebut the tasteof amber burningon my tonguehas my mindin another placemy tonguedoingother things lost inthe pavlovian dystopiawe happily plantnever seeingthe bulbsare upside down maybe the coldhas mefeelingphilosophicalor maybethis feelingin my chestthat singsfor the chairto […]

darkness leading me to you

trapped in this four wall apartment lingering scents of her phantom perfume i lay in bed as the rains come down keeping the sky aloft with the tears that drown out the world sylvia and hank red faced screaming to wake me from this shattered dreamthistle as i never really figured out what this whole […]

the afterglow of everything falling apart

the pinatas are filled with maggots suckling on the unwrapped sweets tucked into papermache mementos the cards are filled with ink scratched reminders from another time when heroes and viilains were easily deciphered these faded photos bring back the memories when dreams were within reach and happily was ever after electrified desserts course along the […]

a venn diagram living in the overlay of hopeless and romantic

there is nospecific momentthat i canrecallwith any sort ofclaritywhen i becamea secondary characterin the storyof my own life at some pointthe wordsbecame the focusas i fell fartherfrom the stage lightsuntil i woke upand didn’t recognizethe collection of flawsstaring backuncomprehendingly now as istumble blindlysearching forthose thingsthe former occupantof this scarred massof ugly indignation soughtup to the […]

m is as empty as the poet

a misconception missed connections a misinterpretation in this misery of missing her misconstrued misremembered this misanthropic malady of misgiving misread in the meandering misuse of my misunderstood myopia igetlostintheundercurrents drowninginsyntax inpurposefulmistakes madebyaccidentaltruth it’scoldmyteethchatter asinconsequentialsfall

looking for you

i couldn’t figure out why i always felt a disconnect to the world around me until i found her and it all became clear my body is right here in texas my mind is lost in the words and my heart is beating two hours behind in west coast time while my eyes keep looking […]

in the quiet

in the quiet i can feel them course through my blood demons whispering soft lullabies i can hear her voice feel the crack across the supple skin of innocence in the quiet i can feel them writhe around my brain stem luxuriating in subtle despairs murmuring hatred into the lost waves of ego supplicating id […]

choir

i hear the chorus sing your praises but no matter how beautiful the words we both know it is my words that constrict your lovely little scar shaped heart every tragedy written line by line down the yellowed papyrus of my soul spells a certain doom as yet untasted so savor the sweet songs they […]

hell is reflected in every shimmer of pain

the factories along the highway manufacturing clouds that billow over the grimy cityscape angry faces scowl trapped in single file morose lines of rumbling vehicles spitting noxious vapors horns gleaming in the dull red glow of rivers of lava as the skies open to let the tears of the damned smudge the filth of heartashes […]

woke

i woke in the middle of the night to see the wispy image of a woman staring down at me from the ceiling her features were familiar her eyes rained pure hatred in waves that seemed to contort ferally as she whispered my every failing into the solemn dark the rust dried, a trail running […]

privacy fence

the privacy fence around my heart is not just to keep myself and those i love protected but to prevent the accidental affections from crushing each of us under the weight of false adorations frequently i cut myself on the jagged shards that once formed a real person now nothing but a collection of scars […]

lost in transition

she used to sign every note with x’s and o’s a lipstick kiss in lieu of her name a hint of her perfume hovering just above so when i awoke she had given me a kiss the last note was still signed with exes and ohs the lipstick replaced by a cursive good bye tear […]

pinwheels

./redyellowbluegreen/ the pinwheel spins under the weight of my breath /redyellowbluegreen/ am i just a punchline scribbled in the margins of your defecit[heart] a pinwheel to be spun /redyellowbluegreen/ by the weight of your absent affection as you affect a caring{demeanor} the maple seeds spin lazily to the ground cyclopean helicopters of latent syrupy promise […]

draped in brimstone

she set me free like lincoln freed the slaves with a wink and a nod to the camera she saw my future sloppily written on the palms of my hands before carefully scrubbing them clean as i slept she was an angel draped in brimstone, smoldering footprints wherever her feet touched the ground, her tarnished […]

misquoting emotion

she was speaking neruda while i was quoting hank spanish moss draped over the bedside lamp adding an ambiance to the mood she was trying to set while i stomped around shaking bottles for one more sip my brain fixated on the her we both knew she wasn’t she whispered keats in nonsensical rhymes while […]

binary heartspasm

into the unblinking eye eternally crusted with sleep unslept clouded with dreams undreamt falling into the infinite miseries in unending waves of incessant woe on a cloud impossible in its regularity lies a pomegranate dirt still clinging to the crimson bruise colored skin syncopated binary heartspasms incorporated into the red stained fingers she playfully runs […]

vultures pretending to be songbirds

i wear the scars of every incidental adoration in the colorless indentions between the lines written for the her they project themselves into carelessly as tic marks form a callus in the callous disregard shown to intent scrubbed so many unwanted lipstick stains from pink flesh that the weeping wounds from misplaced affection leaves every […]

baby teeth in the branches of civility

light flares for the blind sound drums for the deaf there is a movement coming fresh linen for the lepers beneath the gnarled branches of the old twisted oak a pestilent rejoinder from sickness long ago baby teeth hang from memory filament to chatter incessantly on the foul morn breeze bemoaning each tawdry sunbeam refracted […]

rapid cycling

external stimuli triggered episodic rapid cycling self destruction is more addictive than any synthetically structured intoxicant you bring your smile i will bring the matches catch a wave maybe the mania can wash us far enough from shore your flotsam to my jetsam the embers float specks of civilization like pollen wrap your legs around […]

a refusal to swim

the trash blows happily on the cold wind swirling in the causeway as the fool squints up angrily at the bright gray sky hoping for a stray sunbeam to illuminate the shadows across his brain he is learning to cut the things that serve no purpose out of his mind with the surgical precision of […]

inches

she claimed the damsel role leaving him to twirl his mustaches as he tied her to the railtoad tracks of another insipid tale of love gone sour leaving him in a flux that saw a flood of would be rescuers cutting the ropes he never saw them tying as he pined away for something that […]

pitter patter of deflated dream

lost in the pitter patter of penguins dancing across the hoarfrost covering my mind sidestepping the rain falling over this concrete mausoleum disguised fitfully as a city the temperature falls with every aching breath expelled down empty streets in crystalline malaise the potholes threaten to swallow me whole to drown in the discarded daydreams that […]

frustrated

no matter how tightly i squeeze my eyes shut how earnest the prayers muttered to the silence above the absence within whispered to whomever wherever whenever the only answer is the same heaven is a dream for good boys to chase hell is all around us everyday so i don’t waste my breath on hopes […]

first act on repeat

a part of me desperately clings to the pages of this first act time has proven that once the second act begins the hidden aspects eventually turn me from love interest to villain begins to creep along the edges am i the hero in this ironic tale encompassing misadventures through the bottom rung i wasn’t […]

blank dismissal

i have burned bridges that spanned chasms between hearts salted the earth in the memory of agonies shared the ugly truth is always feeling lost left love stagnant in the mire filled with the bloated corpses of feral adoration written odes to dead lovers whose last breath carried blackened petals that attached rusted anchors to […]

maybe tomorrow

for a moment the dark sky was a promise of cerulean sanctity over a cold gray land i sit shivering staring out the window as the coffee steams lazily beset by longing and as the sky takes on a rose quartz luster the clouds reflecting the city below i murmur my love into the rising […]

halfway

i am surrounded [by madmen and suicides] every word that screams off the page pushes me towards one of the only two options seemingly available for a self medicated poet with too many feelings dragging himself across the broken glass signifying another day staring out the window at a world that is missing the one […]

incidental coffee

light effused itself through the canopy in unnecessary bars of yellow a grid filled with pollen lazily suspended in an absence of air briefly i considered myself a cat burglar in eighteen eighties paris seeking to escape with mona lisa packed securely on my back a lackluster ballerina pirouetting through a bastardized war zone slippers […]

reverse phoenix

how longhave i feltlikea figmenta fugitivea tall talejust the whispers ofan ugly soulthat criespaint smearson the runfrom future sinsa trail ofheart shapedpockmarkswhereverhe restshis cavernous skullthe winding rootssnake throughhis steam poweredinsubstantiality i am eitherthe deficient sumin the rambling odesa paint by numberspoetora shadow box prophetdrowningin wordsno onewill ever seeforetellingan endingthat sounds sogoddamnedinviting the thing is even […]

caste

i was alwaysa mothwith theaspirationsof a fledglingbutterfly so when i wasburntto a cinderby your flameit simplymade sense it was justmy placein the emotionalcaste systemspun outof nirvana

light keeper soliloquy

it was an unlit tomb on a small strip of land beaten mercilessly by the sea; a needle from which a great light once warned of shallow waters ahead. now a frost covered gravestone to an industrious past; a last jutting bone from the skeleton of whalers seeking ambergris afloat on the whitecaps. before edison […]

crimson stains

feeling inconsequential in a sequential pattern of repeating selfdetrimental implosions along my cardiac redaction today is a day for screaming silently into the plastic world filled with distracted emotive disconnections echoing back milquetoast inflections my anterior cardiac infraction directly correlates to the relapsed dismality that is only found in store brand miseries i long to […]

candlelit lonely

the flame flickers a small ball of yellow suspended above the wick a boa of black smoke coalesces around the breath of fire long tears of melted wax run in rivulets adding to the girth of the whole while ignoring the steadily shrinking waxen stature the room itself alive with mercurial shadows that change the […]

atlas

she had anatlasprinted onthe sheetsso every timewe made loveit wasa global eventmy handsand hungry mouthexploringa differenthemispherefrom the onewhere shemoaned aloudin tectonicdivisions ofshifting ecstasy

morning ugly

the fine print on the contract for one tattered soul in exchange for drowning in an ocean of diction never mentioned grinding your softest bits to dust to make the ink the heartthistle quill imbued with a breath swollen with broken sobs barely held back the magician doesn’t show the audience how the trick is […]

irradiated dreamstate

my eyes opened too early this morning as the overwhelming desire to run my tongue along your sorrow to let you infuse your beauty so that every taste bud carries a reflection of your magnificence carrying a hint of the storm brewing at the edge of your horizon where the darkness flickers to tinge the […]

{x’s}

every photo is a caricature where the exaggerated dejection burrowed into the furrowed brow is but a reflection of hyper distended incomprehension madness in vacant eyes scars squirm fat coarse cords sewn in haphazard{x’s} by heavy handed[exes] to keep the palemaggotskinnedlips firmly pressed together keeping the declarations (un)spoken the ugly bastard waiting for the seeds […]

want/get

living in images is great for writing poetry but bad for a life lived alone filled with insufferable longing. we get what we get. doesn’t really matter what we want.

wintry

today is cloudy heavy with the promise of winter kissing the back of my neck as the winds whip dead leaves like so many what could have beens in a series of messages from the aether to reprogram my deficient selfless understanding as to the complex calculations that seem to leave me on the short […]

vapid vagrant (self portrait)

the mechanical man trundled slowly to the outskirts of town careful to remain in the woods away from accidental eyes away from despising stares black smoke rising from the furnace in his belly driving his steam powered heart the treads on his feet slowly sinking in the soft loam as he watches the happy people […]

pawn shop daydreaming

she found me in a pawn shop standing in front with a note that read free to a good home i did my best puppy dog eyes dreading another night kennelled in the back room that smells like cheap cigars and stale flatulence with a heavy dose of melancholic misplaced affections she gave me a […]

wrong side of bed

the only beauty i can find in the world this morning is in sylvia’s words and the wildflowers in your gaze i got up on the wrong side of the bed fell into a mobius loop of constant waking then stumbling into the negative space between thought and action it is cold yet the bitds […]

an overdramatic response

damn the truth!damn the wretched truth! she was a vampyre!she was a nymph,cast in dusky brown!foul succubus! on my kneesi beseech thee,oh lord above!spare me fromthese ignoble slights! cast thisfoulest demonbackback to bottomof the fiery pits!to hell!to tartarus! just allowthis poor foola momentof succorfreefrom the dinof yourmost foul harpy,i implore thee

self(ish)

my mental acuityhas hamperedmy emotional growthas a defense mechanismagainstearly hatred shown the words thatdieon my tonguefly freeonly in verse i worrymy mute expressionismthis screamingin silentsolitudewill always denythe infernoof passionthat flaresbehind eyesno one everglances into

best intent

it occurs to me that no matter how deeply dreamt or fervently wished the things that i want aren’t required for me to survive just to live so i exist in the pedantic lines of unread poetry a half alive spectre standing in the snow peering through the large window as the lovers curl up […]

inkblot

one day i will cover all my scars become unvisible just some ink stained walking rorschach test that reminds you of your parents fighting or your father’s penis or that time you walked in on them mid-coitus just a vague unsettling feeling at the edge of perception beaming smoke signals in sultry flashes of sinful […]

me

i can’t remember exactly what it means to be me anymore because me has always ended up being the worst thing about me