unvisible

unvisible to any spectrum except one of spectral delights candy coated horror with gore filled pinatas hanging noisily in the haunted forest of childhood whimsy the reticence of those that despoil upon entering the magma core of ethereal agonies they sing a nonsense muttering of sinful dissonance to shatter the stalagmite of unshed tears that […]

roaming eye

she asked me for a picture to prove i was who i said i was so i sent her x-rays of the skeletal deficiency that creaks inside the flesh of tender lies she said i was beautiful stripped bare of gradual atrophy laid out in calcified remnants of pre-evolutionary denials a missing link between the […]

la brea

i lit my next cigarette off of the dying butt of my last every one is the last one i tell the ladies whereing too much made up i chase my shadow in a loop a gerbil on a wheel about to be stuffed into the ass end of a bitterly dejected universe it’s just […]

abscess

the first thing i noticed as i got out of the car was the unusual crackle of broken glass under foot then the flapping caution tape all around me alerted me that unusual was more usual than expected as i saw all the broken windows dotting the landscape of downtown. one day will people understand […]

hypoglycemic merry go round

in my dismay with heavy handed strokes i have painted the veil of misery in anthropomorphic shades of unsubstantiated morose to drip down the heavens forming a hard candy shell along the sedimentary cracks of belief. with steady hands on shaking ground a hypoglycemic merry go round a carousel of mixed metaphors in languid repose […]

comet’s chasing tails

they chase their tails like mongrels in the tepid day while i sit sipping whiskey waiting for it all to end. this grotesquerie nothing but the flaccid afterbirth of another fetid wish abandoned in the sewer drain of tomorrow’s lost desires. can you see me? or have i fallen from grace to plummet headlong through […]

frigidity

cool as a cucumber or cool as a corpse the level of frigidity rivals that of antarctic revulsion the blackened skin brittle flakes left like gretel’s trail of breadcrumbs through the glacier of redundancy an indifference or insignificance left to infiltrate the fragility in the wake of buffeting sorrows last respite

gaping expanse

as i pulled the ripcord watched my carefully packed clothing fly into the air around my flailing form it was only the lack of oxygen that killed the laughter bubbling in madness out of my raw throat i may leave an ugly corpse but the crater will be one people will talk about for years […]

a tease of (un)fettered, van gogh’s other ear

i will never make truly beautiful art women won’t sigh their hearts won’t skip a beat their breath catch in their throats at my words i’ll never be matisse rembrandt whitman braugtigan neruda or bukowski my name will never be uttered in hushed tones but still i write destined to be forgotten van gogh’s other […]

saline rivers

it’s the things left out the words unsaid. the plans made with no prior notice the hidden agenda. these make the wind feel strangely artificial as the things once thought known were proven myth by the emptiness of doubt. another daydream cast into the ashtray of abstract longing. of all the four letter words none […]

close up

he realized just how much of his life was framed by a dirty windshield like the laziest director was in charge of the motion picture of fumbling incompetence. he isn’t insane not totally not yet but he is constantly watching for the credits to begin rolling. he doesn’t remember auditioning for the lead role in […]

wrong lane

the birds fly carrying bits of yarn in beak to build a nest i imagine. the burden bears down upon me as the hollow bones ride the air above. and i feel a burning inside to matter to build a nest or be the string in which it is started. it feels like everything points […]

stargazing

this jagged edge is too much for me to navigate so i have decided to just sit for a spell let the raggedness of this world of pain settle into my weary bones. it isn’t the setbacks but the continuous line of them that tarnishes the spirit. i am a stargazer looking into paper bags […]

poor performance

afflicted to this addiction addicted to this restriction in my rasping blood flecked airways my inspiration tends to be more from desperation than an inclination to follow my dreams it isn’t that i don’t want more to be well to move on to succeed it is that past performance is indicative of future returns or […]

mediocracy

set adrift on the sea of mediocrity the status quo now a mediocracy critical yet incapable of criticism didactic the phantom swishing of a prehensile tail lost in another time squeaking along the broken bands of time calamitous collateral damages done without a wayward glance backwards

error code

the sky is gray the world outside is hollow just another facade painted along the roadside to give the impression that there is meaning to any of this antagonizing sorrow. in my mind you and i play in the water you and i me and you mean something more than passing fancy. the sky is […]

tilt a whirl

the four sides of this cage have become sinuous constricting restricting distracting as the feeling of self destructing reaches a fevered climax the never ending haze of sleep deprivation and constant pain makes the world feel like a tilt a whirl car operated by a chimp on amphetamines

snail

when the pain gets to be too much the anxiety whispers the depression pressures until my inner organs turn to diamond i retreat into my shell feeling less like a hermit crab than a snail as the world speeds past yet i cannot seem to get my bearings the spiral of my mobile command center […]

current dismissals

i feel like one of the last icebergs floating in the warm waters of mental breaking slowly shrinking into the abyss of ever drowning this is home this is heaven this is hell this is home this is here this is now this is the end of the beginning the begining of the end don’t […]

between life and thought

the wind howls down through the empty streets whipping up the trash of another failed attempt at civilized domination gone the way of the dinosaurs into the land of tar soaked bones lost to the annals of history a lone silhouette stands in the tower at the center of the fallen bricks that once made […]

bones

she was made of calcified dream left to rot beneath the soggy mud of hope unfulfilled a skeleton of whimsical desires stripped bare with organs of failed potential slowly reverting back to the basic elemental dysfunction the chaos will strangled by the roots of hypertension rotting in the spatial insecurities of lazy misanthropic reality her […]

(en)visions

i have never been big on possessions except the demonic type they enter my willing vessel as i toss and turn through the night bereft of peace left to the insidious thoughts the ceaseless pain the loneliness of a queen mattress with only a fool to occupy the expanses of wasted time so the brimstone […]

lost and fondled

the bleak feeling has made me retreat so far that i have turned inside out internalized so fiercely that the internal organs have extroverted to relieve themselves from the pressure my heart compressed to diamond as the seething need to belong makes ownership another tricky gambit in the lost and fondled my daily attire the […]

driftwood daydream on the river styx

i am lost in this hellish mindscape of conflicting demotion, inflicted commotion, reflected exclusion, dejected reclusion. i am none of the things i need. all of the things despicable. locked in step with the headsman. watching the light glint off the wicked curve of the blade as the crowd throws rotten effigies of the man […]

last bullet

The leaves were the color of a freshly newborn child, that purplish red of a soon to be bruise. The sunlight filtered down and dappled the ground. A slight breeze tried to blow from the north but sputtered before really doing much. And I sat with my back against the tree, wondering how it all […]

wherever and now

the transient effect of random incoherence is the same as falling through the shadows to find the closest point between wherever and now a reiterance of irrelevance left to stew in the bog of rendered fats regurgitated organ failures and reticent reminders

half in and out

the traffic is at a standstill like rows of angry crabs waiting re-entry into the ocean big claws snapping while the little claw taps the asphalt chittering back and forth as they face perpendicular to the highway a terrapin convention to the north as they crawl upon the high-rise ramps like the world’s worst rollercoaster […]

lost in spaces

it was less dine and dash then done and dense the dangling particular of participles and pageantry deny the peevish the peckish dinner of pasteurized dentata i egress i regress i degress into a spot of trouble trailing turbulent times as gestation receeds the tumultuous trials of triangular longing leaving trembling tumors to trespass the […]

amnesiac wonder

the office is a regurgitation of seventies motif with avocado greens burnt orange and dark chocolate brown the walls have a strange cube pattern it feels as if i have fallen into the overlook hotel in the middle of texas outside the window the blustery dallas skyline looks angry with dark gray clouds threatening to […]

drowning on solid ground

the world seems so confusing when the fog hangs heavy over the once clear vistas yet still the maps lead us towards our destinations as if there is nothing to fear hidden around us so still i drive down once familiar roads towards a place i would rather not travel to working towards an end […]

dinosaurs for gold

another dreary day in the back half of a city covered in grime the boarded up windows of strip clubs adult shops and small stores that once accumulated dreams gone to out of business signs he sits in front of the pump as a line of cars forms behind him yet he pays no heed […]

tickles

i have looked everywhere for the thing i have misplaced for the thing i have forgotten for the thing that tickles the back of my foggy mind on a chill winter day in the middle of another mental break in the same lost anthem of hope in the midst of betrayal it isn’t anywhere even […]

topiary

she had considered herself a mistress of topiary so it came as no surprise when i awoke to the sound of shears in the middle of the night as she ran the cold steel across my flesh in an effort to carve the shape she saw within me to the surface with every cut every […]

swarm

the car ahead of me drives through the drifting leaves on the quiet back road sending a cloud of shimmering detritus floating like a school of fish into the air they seem to move of their own accord darting on the exhaust fumes all around me as if i had fallen into a new world […]

eons away

it’s another day staring at gray skies in another parking garage in another dead end day of less than optimal mental health alone craving the comfort of a shared mindscape in this insanity of numbed reality press your lips to mine as the wobbly spin of the globe sends the desperation of a billion souls […]

some mornings

the rain falls gray on a backdrop of gray on city of gray in a morning of fog where the world is still sleeping in for lack of want to swim in the dingy gray these moments make my heart seize up in my chest as her red lips are the only color i can […]

swimming with ravens

the words are swimming just out of reach focus is fleeting lost in the daze of the holidays a coup a coop a loop in lieu of anything making any sense the ravens circle overhead, beady eyes trained on the slow moving body leaving a trail of crimson across the hard packed earth seven times […]

maps to nowhere

he follows maps all day no idea where he is headed just trusting that the marked path is the correct one even if truly he is driving in circles over and over getting farther from where he wants to be yet closer to the destination he fears an ever diminishing spiral towards the end of […]

blurred

blurry eyes don’t focus like they once did as the thunder pounds behind vacant stares the world seems bathed in mirage how do you calm the storm that seems predetermined to rustle the vagrant stakes of nonendearing static into a pulpit of shame the light lacerates the skin of hopeless wonder until all that sizzles […]

fetid glimpses of home

the splintering of frozen trees exploding as the sap freezes reminds him of spreading his ribs in a futile act of showing he has a heart to those who don’t believe the echo of the woodpecker pecking into the pulpy flesh of the sullen tree to nest within reminds him of drilling into his skull […]

mist rising

the mist rises gently over the placid waters thick with algae the world seems stagnant only the green remains only the green remains the stains of life’s last refrains bubble up from the sewage of yesterday the sewage of yesterday stews in primordial ooze of proteins forming rudimentary chains with nucleocytoplasmic integers with nucleocytoplasmic integers […]

wayward words

lie down let the gentle autumn rain wash the feel of sorrow from weary muscles knotted in anxious necessity let the cool mist act as a balm against the constant grating of reality like an obsidian blade thrust into the heartwomb of tomorrow’s many insults behind the gray wool clouds of rendered dreammucus lies the […]

maize

lost in a maze of maize the stalks grown in irregular patterns mutated into monstrosities with stinging leaves that cut the supple flesh of childhood aspirations in dead end paths wisps of silk on the humid air as frantic breathing fills the rows

teardreams

the emptiness seems particularly alluring as the gravity of low wave emissions from the satellite heart careen off of yet another comet bearing down on the tragedy of lethargy solar radiation tickles the marrow of bonethrust beneficiaries impossible to get bearings when the lodestone prefix is randomized in the flames of fallow indignation can you […]

thorn

beware the thorn pierces the sole of the barefoot wanderer injecting itself into the very fiber of laconic belief foolish oaf brandishing the banter of wayward souls drifting along the banks of the stream in search of shelter the milky dew of infection drips down from cancerous sores yet still blistered feet carry the nomads […]

tea time with kafka

kafka and i shared tea while hiding behind the thick dusty curtains as burroughs banged on the front door he had a haunted look in his sunken eyes as ginsberg ran naked from behind a bush with a shrill cry i saw a cockroach the size of a large dog scurry into the kitchen with […]

courageous/contagious

i am not courageous no i am contagious just with symptoms that don’t affect the normal effects of living in a monochrome daydream of the american scream the worn carpet beneath my bare feet with black painted nails feels like the threadbare soul of hope stretched down along commerce street around where kennedy got shot […]

missing you

it was like a stack of pancakes drizzled with real maple syrup a pat of butter running down the side with the face of a sad clown in the nooks and crannies that made the whole thing taste like batteries thats what sitting alone on the couch missing you is like a wilted flower hanging […]

city mouse

the miles tick by nothing but trees along the roadside no buildings of concrete glass and steel i feel as lost in the countryside as i do surrounded by millions in the city

direction(less)

call off the dogs frothing snarling beasts sheathe the blades hidden under pink tongues running through mudpuddles in mismatched socks as the bite of the whip finds fresh skin to furrow this labyrinth is one straight hall leading ever forward into the loss of direction as the magnetic compass spins furtively

lost

lost in thought in traffic on the winding streets of another insignificant town in another sprawling metroplex surrounded by others just as lost as me

9.12

running through the briars as the world burns to a cinder two steps behind of lust of rage of anger of desire the needle pierces the cornea of cataract collusion the blind men point in various directions leading down paths fraught with peril still running as the flames lick bare heels the plants scream unheard

shambles

the fleshsuit lies slumped on the couch thin lines of spittle trail from flaccid lips the stench of hopeshatter fills the room in a heavy malaise lazy hazy crippled inside heartblood pools of love denied vacant stares face ever up a fat horsefly rests upon retinal dismay no twitch a lack of bodyshiver in the […]

terminally waiting

chaos churning as everyone seems either uptight or talking too loudly into phones this terminal feels terminal everything feels as if it teeters on a crux in the midst of accidental fatalities fatalistically fanning the flames of fearful reproach i am petulant in the face of fate flicking her fickle middle finger in my face […]

parked

he sits in the park staring off into the woods around him but seeing none of it his mind is lost far from his physical form away from the bikers the dogs the other people staring in a rough approximation of where his eyes drift off to he sees into the past the future ignoring […]

stain

sleep deprivation mental distress love songs too loud singing on the couch with broken voice tear streaked cheeks lost in the pit of despair heat seeking missile in desperate desolation need for a bosom to fall head first into i love you even if i am ugly if i am ruined if i am a […]

the devil in the mirror

nuclear fusion in spinal inversion therapy, twisted into knots by the invisible hands of stressful discombobulation, lost in terror, dreaming of fire, all alone in misery unable to bend reality the devil is in the details, the details seem pervasive as the life of the search party with a fine tooth bone comb through every […]

saturday sleepy morning

the laundromat is quiet, just me and two ladies watching the dirt of another week slowly tumble loose in metallic dissonance another sign from up high as the television shows australia above me, a hint of things to come, a new life washed clean of stains the mexican bakery is busy, the air smells of […]

logic

i spend so long daydreaming i assume my brain has developed chiseled definition yet when i snap out of the blissful state i find the world seems unfamiliar altogether it isn’t as if i miss that voice of impossibilities intruding on my mental meanderings but i worry i may disbelieve gravity finding myself drifting into […]

Tuesday is like

moth chewed soul like swiss cheese in the caves in the south of france brain damaged from slamming against the built in roll cage of another car crash scar tissue raises like the mountain ranges on the face of a globe in a dusty library bitterly sad like lemon rind grated on the smiling face […]

ants

mastodon playing in my functional ear as i sit in the drizzle watching people watch me watch them foot tapping to the beat phone in my hand, thumbs tapping along with the wailing guitars they wander lost in their own daydream as i daydream new lives for them moments like this i think of the […]

guide

to your right lies the caverns of savage indignation to your left the stars shimmer cascade like a dream i stand betwixt one hand holding each at bay let my smile guide us into the ink spots of eternity

trapped

trapped in a basement the sun is shining somewhere above i can’t stop thinking of freedom of her i doubt i would even if i could

bumbling along today my head is in the clouds while my legs barely move through the syrupy serendipity of sloughing through life one instance at a time have you ever just spent twenty minutes staring at someone with nothing but adoration written upon your face longed to reach out and brush the stray hairs behind […]

crimson fantasy

it’s impossible to remain rational when impossibilities are all you can fathom is it rational to believe in the impossible when your mind insists on rationalizing back and forth like a teeter totter across the playground erected in the mind’s eye bloody imprints litter the ground around me yet all i see are crimson fantasies

relinquish

the crunch of glass beneath ire the clutch of grace though tired the crutch of hope uninspired the crux of love since retired her eyes carry the weight of longing concealed by the dusty spectre of time, her teeth gone to fang in which to tear the soft flesh of any foolish would be pursuer […]

what is this

fake a smile ignore the pain this too shall pass, eat aspirin like candy aspiring to be somewhere on the border of more or less than what this is what is this heaven is closed for empty vessels like me, hell is concerned i’ll take over, purgatory is pack to the rafters with unbelievers and […]

directions

i have taken so many wrong turns in my life it was only fitting i ended up confused and standing at my destination unaware i was finally there at all two wrongs don’t make a right but three lefts do as a leftie with a penchant for doing the wrong thing at the best possible […]

intro-redactions

would you settle for a set list, a list of intentions, directions, suggestions demonstrating the demonic nature of being raised in hell yet seeking heavenly comfort this purgatorical sentience leads to a sentence with no pretext, no grammarian essential steps all i have is good intentions, mind retentions, and misapprehensions that lead to a bubble […]

screwed on too tightly

woke with my stomach gnawing my ribs and the scent of lilacs too strongly in my nose feeling like hitchhiking to the trans-siberian railway two weeks on a train in the middle of nowhere nothing but vodka and the snowy landscape to stare it from the shaking cars if there is a place to get […]

caught up

sometimes i get so caught up in the mundane as i think of other things i found myself gently folding a receipt as if it was the picture of a lost lover

tchotchkes

tchotchkes litter his mind vanity plates for the broken psyche meaningless unreminders of events that eventually decayed porcelain statues ground to ivory dust take em or talcum residual residues biohazard stamp of disapproval brandished like a brand new brand branded and bandied like yesterday’s new tattoo

under the rainbow

i may be lost, somewhere under this rainbow of technicolor stains, drowning in the shallow puddles of tomorrow spinning in a crocodile death thrash, teeth on my throat as the daily rigors become more authentic than possibility the sky is clear, the vision muddy, the insanity on display is like that of the drowning, a […]

derail me

i need you to lay across the tracks in my mind and derail this train of thought, this locomotion belching a black cloud of despair across the scenic landscapes in my mind maybe i am too in touch with my feelings, feeling this never ending feeling of sorrow as this emptiness crashes like an invisible […]

(un)thinking

he sat it was a chill spring morning those damned birds didn’t seem to mind the squirrels didn’t seem to mind the cars along the road were indifferent at best sending trails of white exhaust into the slowly brightening sky he watched with tired angry eyes a cough burning in his chest sore from a […]

dwell

i dwell on the faults the fault lines the growing crevices between hope and fear the tectonic shift of radically altered vistas as the pangaean world becomes no more than separate continental divisions divisive detached like the retinal scan of futuristic metal hulls holes in the time space continuation that brings silence to the silent […]

warm rain

it’s raining in atlanta, finally warm but the steady drop of water lulls me into the false belief everything will be okay today poor sleep, checked out of the room, checked out mentally, physically inaccessible to the thoughts of the day ahead twelve hours until boarding the steel monstrosity, two and half to landing in […]

vacuum

the distance between screams the man i am now from who i was to who i may still become so many times i lied that i ran out of words that didn’t sing true excuses fell apart like dream in the first moments of waking now i navigate the distance between seeking the path that […]

eyes

i want to lose myself in your eyes let all the broken fall away and find the solace of your perfection it would be so easy to do most of the day is spent dreaming it, the rest wishing it were here and now what would you do if i told you that i love […]

off

drifting off into nothing be my tether keep me here it’s dark i’m afraid to travel the dark alone i just need a reason not to drift away the world feels off

another(lost)

so lost without you, i was so lost in you, now all is lost and i don’t know how to find my way, i tried leaving a trail of breadcrumbs but the raven got fat the farther from home i went now i just need to sit a spell, cast a spell, spell your name […]

(missing)

i gave up your ghost so long ago but it still haunts me in the quiet times spent alone building this house of cards in a hurricane that tastes like your lips feels like your touch across my bare skin why did you have to encapsulate my desire my dream my yearning so goddamned right […]

lost time

i stood over him, he lay in a heap as the rain fell, his mouth gasped like a bass on the dock for a moment the rain appeared crimson as if the clouds were bleeding as lightning slashed everytime i screamed for help, thunder crashed, drowning out my voice in the booming i closed my […]

reading dickinson

i read dickinson for the first time today see i don’t really like poetry i don’t understand it the hidden messages the undercurrent the metaphors all beyond my feeble grasp see i am not looking for the secrets of the universe hidden in prose scribbled notes on where it all went wrong no that is […]

m/a/z/e

there is a maze in my skull get lost with me mitochondria make my cells continue on continue on how long have i hugged the edges of the whirlpool seeking the center infinity at the center of her eye calm in a turbulent safe zone left left right the ball of yarn loosely spread out […]

clock

the face of the clock is a doorway while time only goes one way the hands reflect the past how much of the flow is wasted trying to swim against the tide

just not (me)

i’m just not me anymore not the same guy i used to be not becoming one i want to be less full of hope now just full of shit the happy go lucky guy died a couple miles back i just want a cabin in the middle of nowhere with a barrel of whiskey a […]

bad news

the mirror is shattered like the fool that views you look at me with love but baby i’m bad news the scholars and the madmen, the wretched and the ridiculed, beaten and abused by the ones that should have loved them most, this is not about them though, is it this about the fool himself, […]

wool

the depression is like a wool blanket gently tucking me in for six more weeks of sadness six more weeks times six more weeks times a lifetime of fighting against the silken cuffs tired of fighting tired of not just tired you were a lighthouse in the mist and fog yet you chose to extinguish […]

sed(i)ment

there was another me once upon a time far from where i am what i have become the thing i am would you believe i once loved freely gave of myself smiled openly shared deeply it wasn’t one single catastrophic event it was a series of micro fractures cascading through my mind i fell apart […]

jumble

tired of being cold alone trapped in this cycle of desire and painfully throbbing desire incapable of finding the secret combination of letters to unlock the puzzle conundrum riddle here is what i have found so far eppvhoialssne the hint says two words without meaning to the poet illiterate

blister

i read it isn’t about weathering the storm it is learning to dance in the rain so i strapped on my best rusty suit of armor let the lightning strike as it is wont to do stripped down to my boxers frolicked in the blizzard chased tornados with nothing but the best intentions i stared […]

l(os)t

have you ever stared into your reflection and only seen madness the face that faces out at you a concoction misshapen snarling caricature and you try put in the effort to smile but the simple act has lost all meaning the muscles twitch spasm writhe like a mass of electric eels or tentacles just beneath […]