time left alone w/EC

I dreamed of the weight of your hand on my hip and a labyrinth of silences tenderly landscaped by harsh words and solitary sentences i dreamed of the salt of your flesh on my tongue and of kharma and tao as portrayed in the subtle way the moon controls the tides I’ve been a peony […]

4/5ths

i wokewith a wreatheof wildflowerslovingly woundaround my heartevery beatsending herpollen deeperinto every nookof my stainedglass soul possession isfour fifthsof the lawand i am hers

inches

she claimed the damsel role leaving him to twirl his mustaches as he tied her to the railtoad tracks of another insipid tale of love gone sour leaving him in a flux that saw a flood of would be rescuers cutting the ropes he never saw them tying as he pined away for something that […]

pitter patter of deflated dream

lost in the pitter patter of penguins dancing across the hoarfrost covering my mind sidestepping the rain falling over this concrete mausoleum disguised fitfully as a city the temperature falls with every aching breath expelled down empty streets in crystalline malaise the potholes threaten to swallow me whole to drown in the discarded daydreams that […]

dream

the ugly truth is i have killed some of the most beautiful dreams in my absence but never has there been a dream half as lovely as you which scares the hell out of me i don’t want to wake, but i am getting better everyday, maybe because this is one i believe in

word/salt

every word that dribbles from my poetic longs to sleep in your lovely ventricle to be swept along through your arteries to finally nestle lovingly into your brain maybe this one will convey what it means to me when i whisper my love in the middle of the night these words will saturate your dreams […]

frustrated

no matter how tightly i squeeze my eyes shut how earnest the prayers muttered to the silence above the absence within whispered to whomever wherever whenever the only answer is the same heaven is a dream for good boys to chase hell is all around us everyday so i don’t waste my breath on hopes […]

plucking stars

she sat calmly plucking stars from the sky i watched as she peered at each one carefully murmurmed softly before setting each gently back in place she handed one to me from orion’s belt a swirling expanse pulsing in my shaking unworthy grasp i leaned close cupped it in my palm breathed an exhalation of […]

first act on repeat

a part of me desperately clings to the pages of this first act time has proven that once the second act begins the hidden aspects eventually turn me from love interest to villain begins to creep along the edges am i the hero in this ironic tale encompassing misadventures through the bottom rung i wasn’t […]

blank dismissal

i have burned bridges that spanned chasms between hearts salted the earth in the memory of agonies shared the ugly truth is always feeling lost left love stagnant in the mire filled with the bloated corpses of feral adoration written odes to dead lovers whose last breath carried blackened petals that attached rusted anchors to […]

clay

she speaksdirectly to my heartthrough thesilent syllablesleft hangingoff of the page i screamhoping she hearsthrough the clutterin the empty crieshollowing outthe soul of poetry i am in lovewith this womanwildflowersin her hairdripping poetrywith every smile every odehas been to hersince the momenther words took rootin my mindi knew i was hers she reachesinto my chestto […]

maybe tomorrow

for a moment the dark sky was a promise of cerulean sanctity over a cold gray land i sit shivering staring out the window as the coffee steams lazily beset by longing and as the sky takes on a rose quartz luster the clouds reflecting the city below i murmur my love into the rising […]

tips of our tongues

the air feels electrified as i stare up at the ceiling thinking about all the new mistakes we can make the new experience of doing things we have done a million times alone now together comparing battle scars as the sun drags itself across the sky no one can save us from ourselves but at […]

pastel slip w/EC

Someplace inside those strung out little miracles, it’s still raw. somewhere inside these jagged little vivsections, it’s pure magic Monumental love notes in the key of peony petals are snows deepest secrets and my hearts finest healing black ice on the byways between thoughts, a blizzard of pollen tickling the edges of the afterglow of […]

halfway

i am surrounded [by madmen and suicides] every word that screams off the page pushes me towards one of the only two options seemingly available for a self medicated poet with too many feelings dragging himself across the broken glass signifying another day staring out the window at a world that is missing the one […]

incidental coffee

light effused itself through the canopy in unnecessary bars of yellow a grid filled with pollen lazily suspended in an absence of air briefly i considered myself a cat burglar in eighteen eighties paris seeking to escape with mona lisa packed securely on my back a lackluster ballerina pirouetting through a bastardized war zone slippers […]

aspiration

the fartherinto my personaldisillusionmenti stumblethe moreseem to be calledby thisillusionary sensethat my brokenis a tragedy which justshowcaseshow sadthe world iswhen truthis seen asa revelation we spendso longsearching forthe right lightingthe right anglethe right filterto make ouruglysomething the worldwill perceiveas beauty we loseourselves we give awaythe bestpieces of ourselvesfor the fleetingadoration ofa world waitingfor the nextstimulito […]

sleepy, but not falling back asleep

in the jarring transition from vested in sleep to standing blearily in front of the toilet my skin still pebbled pupils midslit as the gecko dream lingers a transparency over the real world careful to not touch anything in case it gets but then it isn’t the mad dash up the wall any longer but […]

have it all

when i handed you the blade i hoped that maybe somehow you could make me a real boy carve a window in the side of my head so you can see how i am always lost in you cut a door into my chest so you can see the cuckoo waiting patiently for the clock […]

magic of her

some quiet moments weigh as much as a black hole growing in your chest she said consistency was the key to her heart but little did she know i had been consistently falling apart since my first tremulous breath an apocalypse in half measure but in those quiet moments the swirling sorrow that entwines itself […]

reverse phoenix

how longhave i feltlikea figmenta fugitivea tall talejust the whispers ofan ugly soulthat criespaint smearson the runfrom future sinsa trail ofheart shapedpockmarkswhereverhe restshis cavernous skullthe winding rootssnake throughhis steam poweredinsubstantiality i am eitherthe deficient sumin the rambling odesa paint by numberspoetora shadow box prophetdrowningin wordsno onewill ever seeforetellingan endingthat sounds sogoddamnedinviting the thing is even […]

a chilled whistle rings true

in the cold chill that whispers down the back of my neck down my spine to blossom an array of nervous endings that melt into the ones and zeros in the overheated processor hastily wired to the furnace in my belly that burns bright blue in the absence of you a seagull told a raven […]

squirrel

you sofill my mindat timesi cannot recallif ihave writtena poemor just beenso lostin youthe worldhas becomeone there are onlyso many waysto tell youthati love youso insteadi whisper itintothe ears ofevery squirreli seeso they cancarry itthrough the treesif any squirrelsstareit’s becausethey justwant to seewhat all the fussis about maybethat could bea poem

caste

i was alwaysa mothwith theaspirationsof a fledglingbutterfly so when i wasburntto a cinderby your flameit simplymade sense it was justmy placein the emotionalcaste systemspun outof nirvana

tense

i am past tense hovering somewhere just outside of present stressedanxious beyond tense freely traversing temporal anomalies knotted into the shoulders balancing the globe she sits patiently a peony petal motionless on the placid surface directly in the eye of my tornadic sense of self destruction a counter rotation to the heartshatter in serpentine remnants […]

light keeper soliloquy

it was an unlit tomb on a small strip of land beaten mercilessly by the sea; a needle from which a great light once warned of shallow waters ahead. now a frost covered gravestone to an industrious past; a last jutting bone from the skeleton of whalers seeking ambergris afloat on the whitecaps. before edison […]

sple(n)dor

we float along on the backs of alligators down the slow moving river, turtles sunning on a lazy day, there was nothing exotic about our lounging though the eyes of gators seemed unimpressed; and you laughed your laugh that plays the bones of my spine like a xylophone, shimmering symphonic waves of pleasure, a tuning […]

(un)written w/EC

in the morning song of the sparrow, i hear your voice She wants to touch him the way his music does, fluidly and on his knees in the silver light of the moon, i feel your presence Her bottom line is showing and it’s his name written in flower petals under the magenta skies, the […]

crimson stains

feeling inconsequential in a sequential pattern of repeating selfdetrimental implosions along my cardiac redaction today is a day for screaming silently into the plastic world filled with distracted emotive disconnections echoing back milquetoast inflections my anterior cardiac infraction directly correlates to the relapsed dismality that is only found in store brand miseries i long to […]

water laden corpse of adoration

drowning in it today just my middle finger extended to let them know that even as i sink this is my choice not due to her or her icy fingers rearranging my guts into a knotted self indictment on the pressures of isolation in the heart of depression always leave them wondering as the corpse […]

candlelit lonely

the flame flickers a small ball of yellow suspended above the wick a boa of black smoke coalesces around the breath of fire long tears of melted wax run in rivulets adding to the girth of the whole while ignoring the steadily shrinking waxen stature the room itself alive with mercurial shadows that change the […]

dream first

she told me to go fuck myself but managed to say it in cursive. so as i walked away there was still a part of me that wondered what her lips taste like when she has sat at the edge of orgasm for half an hour every cell screaming for the release that builds behind […]

vulgarity

it hovers there a vulgarity in the vapid unblinking orb of eternity worms darting into the occular incongruency infinitesimal longing invisibly secures my every cell to the tantric call of your pulse in the seashell i cup over my ear as my every halted breath cries out in silent adoration the underbelly of spiral disenchantments […]

the sun over texas lacks definition without you to focus o(n)

as the coffee swirls along the subtle empty that spirals deeper into the darkness summing up the essential blocks to building this blank faced fool with ink stained fingers twitching to accentuate the confusion in his bewildered gaze as the monochromatic skyline blurs into concrete edification highlighting the spaces between a train whistles off in […]

atlas

she had anatlasprinted onthe sheetsso every timewe made loveit wasa global eventmy handsand hungry mouthexploringa differenthemispherefrom the onewhere shemoaned aloudin tectonicdivisions ofshifting ecstasy

stolen

i am akleptomaniacshe is apyromaniacin every kissi longto stealher fire there isa poetryin our lovethat wordscan onlymuddy

morning ugly

the fine print on the contract for one tattered soul in exchange for drowning in an ocean of diction never mentioned grinding your softest bits to dust to make the ink the heartthistle quill imbued with a breath swollen with broken sobs barely held back the magician doesn’t show the audience how the trick is […]

irradiated dreamstate

my eyes opened too early this morning as the overwhelming desire to run my tongue along your sorrow to let you infuse your beauty so that every taste bud carries a reflection of your magnificence carrying a hint of the storm brewing at the edge of your horizon where the darkness flickers to tinge the […]

{x’s}

every photo is a caricature where the exaggerated dejection burrowed into the furrowed brow is but a reflection of hyper distended incomprehension madness in vacant eyes scars squirm fat coarse cords sewn in haphazard{x’s} by heavy handed[exes] to keep the palemaggotskinnedlips firmly pressed together keeping the declarations (un)spoken the ugly bastard waiting for the seeds […]

want/get

living in images is great for writing poetry but bad for a life lived alone filled with insufferable longing. we get what we get. doesn’t really matter what we want.

dander moon

in my handsi holda manualsolvinglifes petty nuancesyetthe pagesremainblank i carrya self magnifyingglassyetgain no insightfromcrystalline betrayalbaked intosilicateserendipity there aretoo manyquestionsyetthe answerscome as riddleswith nosliver of hopein the solving i sit herealoneon the tip ofthe crescent moonwith roomfor youas the starsfallin the tear shapeddivotsworn throughthe bedrockof who i once thoughti would bebeforethe realities ofsurreptitiousduplicityhidden breadcrumbsin the smoke […]

your name on my lips, your soul on my broken

a sense that something went missing pervades the broken after this latest falling apart as if some of the stardust returned to the cosmos to leave me missing a handful of essential skills i still pine for your lips pressed firmly against my flesh long for the succor of your proximity lay here writhing under […]

lavender kisses

she braided lavender sprigs into the weighted leather so as she flagellated the stain from my unclean flesh the lavender kisses soothe the ache of insufficiency holistically abhorrent leaving my third chakra skewed to point at self actualized ridicule as the heady metallic scent blended with the light purple indifference i was never a dancer […]

international insanity

the building is nice, immaculate, yet there are petrified dog turds everywhere, blending into the beige carpet. her eyes are electric blue but crackle with a madness i hate that i recognize from the mirror. they answer my work related questions with tales of drug stings down the street and men coming to use the […]

mucked

thismolten worldof sinconspiresto drown mein themucked aboutmaligneddribbleof unintentionalmalaise

garden in lethe

watering the flower garden with this rusty can filled near to overflowing from the slow moving occasional river that snakes through my dreaming mind each bud opens in a fit of forgetful hues to greet the overcast sky the color of old bruises with gentle breaks in nebulous gray letting slivers of golden beams little […]

wintry

today is cloudy heavy with the promise of winter kissing the back of my neck as the winds whip dead leaves like so many what could have beens in a series of messages from the aether to reprogram my deficient selfless understanding as to the complex calculations that seem to leave me on the short […]

it is

i wanted to write something romantic something to curl your toes as you realized just how deep the longing burns inside of me with you as the accelerant instead i sat for fifteen minutes smiling because you make me feel so fucking alive so fucking happy it might not be romantic but it is real […]

vapid vagrant (self portrait)

the mechanical man trundled slowly to the outskirts of town careful to remain in the woods away from accidental eyes away from despising stares black smoke rising from the furnace in his belly driving his steam powered heart the treads on his feet slowly sinking in the soft loam as he watches the happy people […]

pawn shop daydreaming

she found me in a pawn shop standing in front with a note that read free to a good home i did my best puppy dog eyes dreading another night kennelled in the back room that smells like cheap cigars and stale flatulence with a heavy dose of melancholic misplaced affections she gave me a […]

morning rust w/EC

her lips like silk against the smooth skin of my shoulder as her breath danced along sending chills down my spine She always loved the tone of my laugh, it wasn’t just the sound, she’d say, but the tone. She described it as naked, raw and like a cinema of memories, miracles and glittering geodes. […]

wrong side of bed

the only beauty i can find in the world this morning is in sylvia’s words and the wildflowers in your gaze i got up on the wrong side of the bed fell into a mobius loop of constant waking then stumbling into the negative space between thought and action it is cold yet the bitds […]

an overdramatic response

damn the truth!damn the wretched truth! she was a vampyre!she was a nymph,cast in dusky brown!foul succubus! on my kneesi beseech thee,oh lord above!spare me fromthese ignoble slights! cast thisfoulest demonbackback to bottomof the fiery pits!to hell!to tartarus! just allowthis poor foola momentof succorfreefrom the dinof yourmost foul harpy,i implore thee

etchings

some daysi write you poemsthat are etchedinto the insideof my skullcarved carefullyinto the ivory cagethat keeps metrappedin this suit of flesh i may notbe much to look atbut if youcrack me openlike a coconutyou will see beautylost in the shavingsresting on mygelatinous truth some daysi write the mostbeautiful thingsleft inthe silence of selflost inthe white […]

self(ish)

my mental acuityhas hamperedmy emotional growthas a defense mechanismagainstearly hatred shown the words thatdieon my tonguefly freeonly in verse i worrymy mute expressionismthis screamingin silentsolitudewill always denythe infernoof passionthat flaresbehind eyesno one everglances into

best intent

it occurs to me that no matter how deeply dreamt or fervently wished the things that i want aren’t required for me to survive just to live so i exist in the pedantic lines of unread poetry a half alive spectre standing in the snow peering through the large window as the lovers curl up […]

ash w/EC

Sometimes light is layered between shadows of turquoise fauns and raspberry Jell-O shots. Sometimes my sin tastes like the cool edge of indifference and your fingers. I’m just a girl with a head full of garden flowers and imaginary oceans and darkness like you’ve never witnessed before. When I break open the untouched depths of […]

inkblot

one day i will cover all my scars become unvisible just some ink stained walking rorschach test that reminds you of your parents fighting or your father’s penis or that time you walked in on them mid-coitus just a vague unsettling feeling at the edge of perception beaming smoke signals in sultry flashes of sinful […]

me

i can’t remember exactly what it means to be me anymore because me has always ended up being the worst thing about me

missile

today it feelsas if i ama strangerin my own lifea guided missilelaunchedbut unableto do anythingsteeredby invisible hands unableto speakto act a controlledout of controlexperiencethat leadsonly to mytriumphantexplosioninto a showerof nothingin the landof words

tea kettle

she started tocall mea cuckoo clockbecausein our fewdaily interactionsit becamea seriesof repetitive talksas she pulledfather backi hadonly so many chancesto speak but it dawnedon methat i was nevera painted birdin a wooden box i have thisgreat needto sharethe lovethat boilswithin mymetallic framea tea kettleset upon the fireof yourperfectionunable to doanythingbut shoutadoration

gurgling tar

i didn’t wake upthis morningas sleepnever managedto quite workits way aroundto my quiet hell lost in thoughtsthat spunon and onuntil the alarmblared a soundof sullen defeatinto the room i feel exhaustedbut it doesn’t quiteovertake the sorrowthat has bubbledto the surfacegurgling tarin quicksand sleepy

(un)titled image

the cherry blossoms fell beneath the sickly yellow light of the bloated moon as it glares in baleful insolence upon a world swept in a beauty the cold cratered rock could never hope to procure in a fruitful chase of the sun around the vacant eyed globe

quiet

in the quiet moments i get lost in you little daydreams where you sit writing concentrating intensely while i have my headphones in listening to music too loud in the confines of my skull stealing glances my heart swelling at the simple joy of you in my line of sight idling away the time between […]

need(les)

i just need medication to combat this desolation of enforced isolation my mental deviation lends itself to this abbreviation of insular emotional deviation even the birds give me fuck off stares as i pass them, beady eyes staring daggers into my own crooked maw of self destructive ambiguity and i am tired so very tired […]

marrowbound

the sun isn’t shining today as the shadows absorb the land around me i am wilted just a profound sorrow that feels marrowbound in this moribund morning in mourning

arson and spiders

prometheuswas the firstarsonistandmy head feelsstuffedwith angry spidersso as far asgood morningaffirmations gotoday isnot the dayif yourmagic eight ballsays differentlyshake ituntil the blue liquidgets sobubblythe message readswhateveryou want itto sayor wait untilthe eaglefinishes offfire boy’s liverchuckthe plastic seerinto the flaming eyeof the gods ownpenancemy brain feelsspideryit is far toocoldwhen i miss youthis much

once II

once while riding across the cobblestone streets of the farmers market, astride a purple dodo with a regal beak despite a rather peculiar aversion to trolleys the ebony tears of the matrimonial dissidents cascade like tar from the pockmarks running along the veins of the last vestige of peace or love a woman in a […]

once

once i rode on an aeroplane a wheezing creaking wooden thing with brass gears wings like a bat that flapped in manic delight as the pilot pedalled furiously a small man, no more than a foot tall, tossed coal into the furnace that belched black smoke as the hot air inflated large sacks sewn from […]

cursively

no matter howbadlythe day is goingit simply takesa few wordsfrom my ladywith wildflowersin her smileto make it allsnap backinto focussomehowshe guidesthe anchoraround my throatto shallow seaswhere i canmanageto keep my headabove water when i tell herthat i love herit means morethan the simplicityof the wordsit meansmy heartbeathas shiftedmy pulsespelling her namein cursivealong every inchof arterial […]

a narrative in silent screams punctuated by a low thrum

this glasshouse bone prison comprising of the chemical deficiencies that form the pilot of the decaying meat golem spitting sounds that vibrate tiny bones in fine canals filled with stagnant truths gone to lie outside in a walking contradictory statement an oxymoron of confident anxieties murmuring into beautiful ugliness as the serpent in the shape […]

lava

my soul is a tulip bulb buried upside down in the brackish muck of unsolicited tears she baked me a cake with a file in the center, i thought to whittle away the bars, but when i looked closer it said divorce along the rusted belly, my false sense of procured freedom was in her […]

polite like silt (from cuckoo)

the ocean thinks it wins with every rock turned to gravel, every shell turned to sand. but it only gets a belly full of silt for decades worth of abuse. the silt is implacable as always. well mannered. polite. the oceans never stop howling under the yellow light of the moon. pulled by the ebbing […]

she sings, i shave

her voice carries down from upstairs she sings in some strange language as i shave i find myself head cocked feeling the emotion even if the words mean little it isn’t a great voice, more that of an absent minded village girl at the river singing happily as the world slowly moves past reflected in […]

Cerberus is now available on Audible

Cerberus Rising on Audible Cerberus Rising is the product of three close friends; a poet, a master of horror, and a master of suspense. We challenged each other to three prompts, Cabin Fever, Letters, and Chaos. We then each wrote a novelette (~10k) for each prompt. What came out was something incredible. Our individual best […]

lost or listless

i have beenfeelingtoo fucking ugly to writepretty proseso if the poetic outputseems lackingit isa direct reflectionon the foolhimself youare the only beautyin the seaof bitter malaise you have no ideahow gratefuli am you exist because i have beenfeelingawfullyfucking lostas of late

blossoms

drapedin madnessthe worldscreamsin italicswhilethe foolsand poetsclip leavesoff ofthe littleblossomsto dryfor uselater

lonesome ball of ambiguous dismay

the cold like pins and needles along my shivering legs even under the blanket in hoodie curled in a lonesome ball of ambiguous dismay somewhat requiring some vapid facsimile of mother’s milk or winsome female camaraderie in which to stoke the fires of heartwood stirring the embers huddled on the couch buried deep down it […]

a bald headed buzzard

sylvia called death a bald headed buzzard yet she gratefully stepped into the ebon winged embrace of the carrion collector i think death must be beautiful an angel casting negative shadows with every displaced breeze caused by multi-hued peacock feathered wings a ring of lavender tinted perfection floating just above hermaphroditus beauty transcends simple earthly […]

learning curve

the steeplearning curveof her bodyleft mequestioningthe conceptsof decencyas the needto taste everyinchleft me unableto gauge the distancebetweenthe cadenceof her heartbeatin my chest

a monster

let me layin the fieldsof wildflowersi am tiredmy soul hurtsi just needto catch my breaththis stitchin my sidefrom choking downthe worldhas turnedinto a spiderwebof cracksalong my contentiousi don’t likewho i have to beto survivethis goddamned jokewhere shehas to be hurtbecause he isn’tenough none of usfeel likewe are enoughbut where does thatstop beinga feelingwhen do we […]

tired, my knuckles are sore, the cycle continues

she called at midnight as mad max hung from his wrists by cuffs on the winch over the thirsty villagers he went too far this time she didn’t have to say more, i was dressed and driving and furious it’s over, i am done, but i worry he will be back her face a mass […]

stone

exhaustedbut unableto calmthe hornetsin my chest wishing fora basiliskto turn meto stonenaybe then, rest

joyous

my heart is still that of a child innocent protected by the mass of scars that cross my psyche it just takes longer for the love to bleed through empty corridors in this way i never forget a feeling so tangled in the web of misdirections my mind casts shadow theatre along the secret tunnels […]

sapience

she struckthe viridescentcardiac carapaceprotectingmy beetle heartsending shimmeringfragments ofhomespun heartcageinto theearly morning airto reflectthe freshly risen suna watercolor dispensaryculminatingin my needfor hersweet sultry sapience

(my)graine

something calls in the fractal spirals that seem to hover just to the side of my vision this kaleidoscopic menagerie filled with delightful half whispers truth in cotton candy wrapped lies tiny pops from the insatiable bee orgy as the penii explode in a symphony of orgasmic dissention i once wrote a poem backwards as […]

violent silhouette w/EC

she wore a shell a diaphonous spiral that draped her like paper mache over the tchotckes in her effervescent heart She came from violence, She bit her lips and swallowed the blood as flesh rearranged itself. She spit her teeth out one by one and washed the charred skin daily to keep wounds fresh. When […]

bad at words, but i need you to know i need you

she smiled her teeth sharp behind her full lips that type of smile does something on a primal level to a man rewrites part of his code triggers a pavlovian response i felt to sudden reactions a tightening of my pants and a sudden desperate need to actualize this desire in a chemical bath of […]

with tongue and teeth and lips

i am no artist yet i dream of painting your flesh with tongue and teeth and lips an endeavor to rival the sistine chapel with a passion so all encompassing it would surely strip michelangelo of his feeble brush and paint with an indignant fury in the face of true artistry on the most perfect […]

lucid

in lucidityi dreamever ableto exerta modicum of controlover thesetidal flowsinthe kingdomof morpheus last nighti closed my eyeswiththe idea offields of tulipsyouin a white sundresswith a band of bluealong the hemthat spunas we laughedstole kissesas the flowersdancedin the lightwarm breeze butthe pinpricks of lightplayed softlyin your eyesunableat the best of timesto tear my gazefrom youthe world […]

collander

i learned to give up the things that didn’t matter to simply walk away but i wonder how much of myself was left on the side of the road as i cleaned house there are things i will never get back that leave small holes in my heart surely i shall bleed to death before […]

sparrows

is anyone else feeling (irritiable uncomfortable rancorous) a little off or is it the sparrows that flit around my head whistling doo dah with no great concern for the people around me as if this irrational rationale b-movie grandiosity this insipid banter the planes float in the air above the airport and as i watch […]