conditioned to blindness

i doubt many of us enjoy our reflection when we accidentally catch a glimpse the hushed panicked moment wondering is that me? but if we were to try to snap a pic we could never get the correct perspective we witnessed without obscuring our faces and changing angles. we forget that our vantages have advantages […]

what is a lake

if a poet sits alone at a dried up lake in a chasm of perpetual cinnamon haze scribbling the parts of himself he no longer recognizes into the skies that impart an agoraphobic anxiety in illusions of azure clarity is he not at his most futile and thus at the most poetic? what gets lost […]

modern romance

bleeding out in a fleabag no tell motel somewhere west of abilene it all was a blur of frantic need and cordite scented kisses to greet a sunrise neither of us expected to see as the first rays broke through the filthy window and i cradled her cold body closer her skin tasted of sin […]

west texas wandering

the grit on the wind infinitely howling scours the entirety of sweetwater in a collage of rusted machinery a fecundity of drab ochre on a flat plane drenched in beige amid grand forests of fiberglass spindles there is a frank honesty in sweetwater a sense the sandblasting has removed any pretense the burrs of hope […]

red dirt and blown kisses

everything is coated in red dust as i wait for the sun to illuminate my new horizon oil workers sitting at breakfast lamenting another day in hell as i sneeze from the grit hanging heavy and a fool drawing her initials in the red dirt a cartoon heart already blowing to the west on the […]

a view from microtel

there is a clear delineation as you exit dour abilene a heavy haze as the rusty old oil derricks began to mar an orherwise unremarkable vista hillocks break the stagnancy of bewildering browns with rows of white windmills sitting still great edifices in fiberglass like rows of glaring crosses while god glares mercilessly over a […]

sweetwater woes

already packed hours early so i can soak up the stringent anxieties background radiation causing static inteference in the regularly scheduled misery of another truncated sunday four hours watching hawks as west texas becomes a brown blur the first in a series of hotels and new vistas i tell myself it won’t be so bad […]

vagrant

i traipse about a silent phantom trying not to make a sound the morning air a pleasant cold biting at my exposed flesh as i stand wearing a sylvia shirt goosepimpled holding a mug of steaming coffee watching the birds prance throughout the naked branches tomorrow i drive out into the desert a different season […]

closed

i was an open book which she took as an excuse to rewrite the narrative to better fit her view. in the end she lost sight of the actual truth while it has taken over a year for the original text to resurface. i gave up the pieces of myself she took umbrage with to […]

dancing in moonlight

i stand weaving flaming oars through the air as the waves rock my rowboat unphased by my inability to see the mythical shore ensconced in chemtrails of fiery remembrance as my rickety boat takes on the frigid spray surrounded by the hiss of steam moving to the backbeat of my fragmented heart a lone figure […]

adaptive

i am slow to adapt new stimuli become instant anxieties until i can manage to pick apart the pieces and reshape them into a part of the background noise humming stinging nettles an incessant biting of a thousand gnats a panel and a reading at an event i already am dreading after weeks spent in […]

shifting

another thirty degree shift as texas mocks my polar swing unsure each morning whether i shall sit shivering or face a heatwave as i tap out the day’s ode to insignificance i fall into the low pressure numbness of depression’s limp embrace only for rounds of manic ordinance to explode each evening as the silence […]

matchboxes

he stared at the cars far below him matchbox vehicles in shades of gray and red hustling through another day in a life he can only imagine he gave away his poetry and his heart only to find they weren’t worth the time she couldn’t be bothered to give in return all he has are […]

a wake

didn’t recall falling asleep as the alarm sounded off against the backrdop of the storm one tired hand after another i pulled myself up the jagged rock wall toward the hazy nimbus of caffeinated reanimation the birds sing in a symphony of gray tinted squalor as the rain falls a sound of static in lazy […]

this

they text me try this i try that text back no change then i sit they text me try this i try that text back no change then i sit they text me have you tried this i snapshot the previous exchange and remind them no change i have sat for hours paced the two […]

patiently picking apart patience

years of sitting perfectly still avoiding any notice has honed my external patience into an implaccable wall while inside i rage and scream in the divots of my skull sitting perfectly still in a raging inferno ignoring the blistered flesh as i shrivel under the intense scrutiny of absent disinterest an iceberg bobbing on the […]

chalky dissonance

i bare my flesh to the chalkdust moon taking a bit of its stolen shine to try and brighten the dreary day as the sun sits on her fiery throne of rancorous delight slowly pacing the cerulean dome around a dying planet

sixty-six candles

your brilliant mind no longer pulses with electrical arcs driving you towards your preferred poisons your restless soul enveloped in eternal darkness a serene dreamless sleep from which there is no waking sixty six years ago you were pulled screaming from the abyss and thrust out into this hellscape too clever by far easily tempted […]

tripping

too many trips just ahead of me sweetwater marshall waco virginia austin too many new skylines too many haunted houses spread across what was once a paradise on the other side of the infinite ocean a series of decrepit graveyards a surplus of foreclosures and all i want is to hide in my shell in […]

extra terrestrial

she was celestial stardust and answered prayers to balance the terrestrial nature of my being made of mud she was born to glide angelically while i was born to cast her footprints within as proof of existence in the end we both were mythical fluff two vacancies bridging her heaven and my tumultuous hell

a fly a ferret a fool

a fly buzzes ensnared in the long false lashes droopily adorning the lazy eye of beauty a sty an inflammation a string of stymied perjoratives hastily spat a last grand stand before inevitable failure the world is an oil painting of rotting fruit we molder on the sunken pear unaware that god is a cockroach […]

the sound of metal grinding

every word feels wrong i cannot trust myself to write in times like these where i have become two dimensional on a {3d} plane (a) geometric allusion in an a/l/g/e/b/r/a/i/c mnemonic a razored angularity vivisected in place

sedatives in the sediment of sentiment

the last morning for the foreseeable abject predictivity of shivering as the faux winter fades into a short spring while summer sharpens her fangs i coalesce within the whorling icy regret suffusing the layer of fog burning off on the placid expanse of the lake i longingly dream to walk into the fireants of anxiety […]

a tea kettle soliloquy

cast my tongue in molten lead as the black thread stretches my lips into a sealed bloodless white yet nothing can silence my idiotic heart screaming out in a love unreciprocated to quake the stoic mountains to dust

swaddled in carcinoma

time and i are at a stand still moreover it stands still as i perversely try to kill it insubstantial on this side of the wavelength i still exist but my consciousness has shifted to my shadow ensconced in velvety darkness the fool hides as the flesh suit rots on the couch awash in the […]

latibulate

the weekend beckons and i latibulate an oroboros spinning so rapidly i implode in upon myself a victimless crime with a slight soot stain in the shape of a cartoon heart in the corner

pieces of me, or, shilling for a friend

rather than another self serving please for sales on my own books (all links on my about page(fuck, did i just inception my own shilling into shilling for a friend)), i am today shilling my friend, the cute as a button Appalachian manbear himself, RJ Roles. if you’re on Facebook, RJ runs the Books of […]

aortic spray in chilled malaise

i sit in the heart of the city watching as it wakes a rumble growing louder as the streets quake with the tired faces a serene symphony of synchronous bird song punctuated by errant horns buses shudder as the train slowly dings in between crossed arms with flashing red lights the shadows sway along with […]

a tacklebox of unfinished miseries

i whispered my love to the rising sun the light swelled into a vibrancy that washed out the last of night time as it clung to the sleeping city the sparrows sang a sad song of acceptance as the silent sun swept over the echo of fading dreamthunder as i sat desperate for a sign.

today tomorrow to hell

yesterday it was nearly eighty and the sun blessed the city with a bounty of gentle kisses and today my beloved texas has shifted along with its lonesome fool forty degress into a blank mass of shapeless gray disillusion i was asked to be on a panel of neurodivergent authors because of my open struggles […]

four days

four days until your birthday and you came to talk in my dream last night instead of the normal night terror of saying the same thing into the abyss only to be ignored you put your arm around my shoulders the instantly familiar scent of old spice and cigarettes bringing me home the only time […]

smoke

when the spirals pull me deeper i long to be kissed until the world evaporates yet all i manage is to quicken the spinning her smile the only true dramamine in a world of vertiginous sorrows faded in the silent eternity of shattered dreamdander in vapid decline

beware of sharks

there was a tingle of danger the moment she entered the room my hackles rose as her black eyes locked on me a predatory gaze that chilled me to the bone she seemed to glide across the room a seductive storm of malicious intent and i knew the fear of the tuna as the shadow […]

consistently

stay productive he tells himself as the anxiety pulses he knows as long as he keeps writing never stands too still he can stay one step ahead of his eventual collapse as long as he ignores the pieces left behind calculates how to continue minus a few essential support systems he shouldn’t fall completely apart […]

deep shade of blue

the sky is a deep dark shade of blue. or maybe that’s just me coloring the world in the hue of loss. you shouldn’t let me have the box of crayons when my impulse control is driven by my faulty heart. i wrote to her this morning in invisible ink because then i have a […]

somersault

rapidly cycling too much happening too quickly to keep my mental gymnastic routine in working order. this is where the fool gives in to the fires of chaos and just sort of hopes that it all works out. it hasn’t yet, but it has to eventually, right?

puddles

fluttering flailing trying to avoid letting the waters grow stagnant as the mold grows in blooming latticework on the surface just above me obscuring the beams of golden illusion as the silt settles heavily over weary limbs. sufferwrite rinserepeat it becomes impossible not to jump at shadows as the cataracts blur my vision fluttering flailing […]

molemen! in irradiated dreamdander

feeling sort of mole(ish) the urge to burrow into the cool soil. the solitude of digging deep hoping to strike the mantle. happily exploring the vast interconnected tunnel system snaking through this hollow world. knowing there is as much chance of a subterranean hidden eco system as there is becoming a mole. but it’s okay […]

enough

too busy to write poetry so i left i love yous scattered down the random streets and hoped despite my knowing better it would be enough

a nice review

John Watson posted a very kind review of dreamwhispers this evening. it is not often i hear work of art and my work together, and i was pleasantly shocked. it’s just starting. this year has potential to be big writing wise. there is a group reading Cuckoo, which is coming this year around September, and […]

drops

the faucet drips a lone orchestra in minimalistic exuberance a resounding sounding in chaotic repetition. the low rumble of planes circling ergonomically cradling the droplets as they crash ensconced in the heavy bass the soft plink carries an ethereal longing tainting the looming hope of a weekend unbegun.

Au

the sun shines today yet it found the wrong end of the cycle and the golden light only highlights the depravity dripping down depression’s sullen sigh a prison cage of illumination trapping the shimmering hints of beauty into a mass of indignant malaise i saw my reflection before the shadows swarmed to hide my disfigured […]

mockingbird cries

and the mockingbird cried a disjointed series of harsh squeaks sonic fingernails down my chalkboard soul in the heavy cold of a thursday lost in confusion i sat flinching as the warbled dissonance passed in waves over the silent lot then i heard the jangled mating cry return three piercing squelches from across the street […]

four umbrellas

i own four different umbrellas yet i am soaked in the rain with no good explanation except for rampant stupidity the year has announced itself in a bevy of storm and silences as a fool sits shivering waiting for a lull in the downpour thinking about the umbrellas leaning next to the front door at […]

swishswish

there is no music this morning an apparent blown fuse discovered too late has the drumming of raindrops and the rapid fire swishswish accompanying a burgeoning panic attack standing water drivers driving too close for these inclement conditions swishswish a spray of briefly blinding filthy water blurred red in a cataract of precipitous hell i […]

uncaffeinated

a monotony of sovereign sodden gray the traffic in the distance a consistency of white noise roaring through standing water the sparrows bask in the moment between when the sun should rise and the rains triumphant return to bathe the day in dismalities. this instance of sheer chaos encapsulates the manic drive undulating in spectrographic […]

letter to a writer

there’s this moment when you stop trying to find the story and in a storm of flashing images, the story finds you. you sit playing with the pieces, trying to break them, then figuring out the fix. when that final aha hits, you sit breathless needing to scream this story you have not yet written […]

ants and a lone spider watching

at the south end of ervay the video billboard plays drone footage of downtown dallas shifting to infrared as i sit at a stop light enthralled. the hive is bustling as the happy soldiers collect food for the waiting queen atop her emerald throne. i feel spidery skittering down back roads weaving my web around […]

opalescent inferno

and i sat alone in the darkness running my fingers along the worn wooden ring of the dreamcatcher hoping to dislodge a sweet dream from the tangled knots of nightmares encrusted over the intricately woven design the sky ignited into an opalescent inferno a swarm of pink and purple bruising in reverse as i bask […]

naming rights available

there is an incomprehensible juxtaposition in the cheap seats at the coliseum being nosebleed while the elite sit ringside and how it is the same poor people living at ground zero while the upper class move farther away you can watch the signs of progression in the rings of the city the once fancy neighborhoods […]

rollercoaster

this incessant mania makes the end of the world into a joyride my pulse thumping along to the clack of the warped old wooden boards clack clack clackclack clackclackclackclack in the ashes of home a tired metronome persnickety in stubborn refusal to accept the lonesome rhythm doesn’t have quite the same soul if i hit […]

pollen coats the concrete

the planes pass low overhead shaking me from my fevered reverie inside the protective bubble of my car i try not to think of frozen fecal matter on the bottom of the flight from dubai as it scatters a grotesque pollen in the gray skies just a ray of fucking sunshine on a dismal day […]

limpid lamentations

lost in the limpidity of forever’s incomprehensible gaze as i seek the next prognostication in perilously penned prose as i let my fingers trail through the electronic swirl of æther detecting the patterns in vacant lines that hope for a mysterious sensuality yet in their repetition show nothing but a vapid need for attention limp […]

opining on pinions

the heronstood in theshallowsawkwardlymajestic asit silentlywatched thesun glint offof the wavesfiery wispsdancing inaloof celebration the universeis capable offeats ofunrivaled beautyeasily forgottenin the terminalugliness ofsingularitiestrudging alongalone in theunbridled madnessof existence i keep a heronpinion to remindmyself thatmy opinionis little morethan aninner choruswailing in dissenta latchkeycollection ofsubversive flawsonly i can see she unfurlsher ivory wingsreed like legsbent […]

haunted fool

the window rattles my heart beat a seismic event calm thoughts reel the rampant emotions back into their cage and lock the door the world spins at roughly seventeen hundred kilomers per second at the equator mine moves twice that when i get stuck chasing ghosts the window rattles my heart beat in a panic […]

preference

i prefer writing in the morning if the words feel sad i can peel the scab lest it fester and color the day but when they call in the evening i sit unable to swallow as the words swell in my throat and i face giving in or giving up if the nib touches the […]

a plea, a teetering catastrophe

fuck me. this mania won’t go away. it has been weeks. i have become a manic man pixie dancing and singing as i clean and clean and clean, unable to sit still. just the music up too loud as electricity crackles in my skull. at odds with the miserable thoughts permeating this tangible catastrophe, sparks […]

blink once if youre despondent

i can’t recall the last time i slept but as i stood pissing the bubbles formed a spider’s eye i watched as the mass blinked once before i quickly flushed the angry glare remained even as it spun down the drain the music is up loud and the voices whisper a mad hush coming through […]

an unwanted seance

“alone again?” she asked i could hear the smile i knew parted her full lips but i ignored her as i listened to the word play slipping into the gaps between intricate lyrics and the driving sound of 808s “you knew exactly how it would end, yet you let yourself fall once again. don’t you […]

tetanus

it has been days since i have uttered a word now i sit waiting for the phone to ring announcing a return to unwanted reality. my jaw has rusted shut a bear trap forgotten left to the elements i have lost my ability to speak. a simple contradiction after spending so long trying to he […]

winter retreats

a final morning as the ice retreats baring the city to the orange nimbus hovering gently to the east by tomorrow only the furrows carved by the glacial dispersal will remain the skies blush a light pink as if a hundred thousand blossoms awaken to dispel winter from the sleepy city as it stretches to […]

groundhogs are known liars and frauds

we put an inordinate amount of trust in the meteorlogistic prognistication of a rodent allowing it to determine such an important decision though you begrudgingly need to give the furry little bastards a modicum of credit for literally decimating the human population that was clearly a one off and we already let rabbits the bloodthirsty […]

atomic habits

atoms pinging chaotically in a vacuum frictionless works of fiction never stopping merely deflecting off one another hoping for an ambient bond to form skittering endlessly in a state of quantum dissonance if energy can neither be created nor destroyed then every i love you sits discarded pieces of pearlescent shells eradicated by the moon’s […]

wolves howl: a mockingbird’s denial

wolves howl the crunch of paws on the icy snow outside the windows as the sky transitions to endless white a lone mockingbird calls out a three note refrain that folds in on itself into a wall of angry static as the pack circles i am a pitted gargoyle perched on the edge of a […]

falls

there was a fool melancholy as the ice rained down outside sitting quietly on couch as bittersweet romances spill out in the candlelight shadow theatre playing on the walls so calm except for the high pitch ringing the cold causing the bands to constrict around his chest the ice falls he is falling the same […]

a maniacal hopping chorus

the sparrows line the railing chattering in what feels like an aural assault from from a rift torn in the fabric of reality itself beady black eyes stare unblinkingly as the coffee steams in a yellowed mug the weight of atoms vibrating slowly in place meandering little building blocks restrained by the wintry refrain and […]