four days

four days
until your birthday
and you came
to talk
in my dream
last night
instead of
the normal
night terror
of saying the
same thing
into the abyss
only to be
you put your
arm around
my shoulders
the instantly
familiar scent of
old spice and
bringing me home

the only time
i felt truly safe
where i had any
sort of value

i had done
everything to not
see the date
to avoid your loss
on top of
everything else
falling down

the two of us
little more than
sentient cages
for our demons
you tried your
damnedest to drown
yours while mine
have always had
free reign
the sins of the
father embraced
by his only son

four more days
until your birthday
twenty years now
since your death
and dammit dad
it hasnt gotten
any easier here
so you came to me
in a dream
a mental shuffle
seeking some new
tether as i am
pulled apart in
and you were the
only safety i knew

a case of beer
a carton of cigarettes
and the emptiness
where you once
stood smiling
my hero spread in
a swirl of ashes
a tall tale used
to pacify a fool
filled with his
inherited demons


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