leaving september lesser than again

i leave september buried deeply down nestled in the ache permeating my chest the fallow reminder of being put aside the festive rotting of autumn signaling a new beginning as it germinates in the corpseridden heartsoil soaked with desperate tears shed for the things left unacknowledged by eyes that only know how to gaze inwardly […]

seeds falling

the seeds fall to clatter on the hot conrete or bounce off of the roof of the car little birds dart through the air catching them in their beaks before winking at me and flying off into the sanguine hints of the swollen sun as it tiredly sinks towards the west for a moment it […]

empty hearth

i am a creature made of fire self aware enough to see the timbers as they turn to ashes and the flames grow dimmer the longer i sit and wait too much time too many thoughts too honest with myself even as i delude myself into thinking things will get back to a semblance of […]


joey ramoneis dead in the groundthe heart of punklies shatteredbeneath sheena’sscuffed up docsand nothing hasfelt right since

2424 e 38th st

if i didn’t know betterand with the rampantdissociation of latethere is a chance thatmy grasp is tentativebut driving the back wayinto the airport to goto one of the manynondescript squat setsof industrial parksfilled with busy peoplenavigating logisticsfrom bland buildingsthat seem to suck at thesoul of a person in thestatic misery of sittingso close to the […]

renewal letters and dying dreams

of all the varied and horrific cycles of my traitorous fucking mind my least favorite of them all is feeling the walls of the cage as they smother every bit of hope from my deflated soul the sense of being trapped with zero recourse no chance of ever escaping as the lease renewal letter flutters […]

morning affirmation from aunt sara (play each morning)

“don’t ask questionsdon’t be seenmake yourself partof the scenerynondescript andsilent lurking justout of frameno one wants to seea rotten bastardwith the devil’seyes and tongueand if they chooseto acknowledge youthen hold tight toyour wallet becauseit isn’t you thatthey are interested inyou are a nothingthat will never matterjust a stain thatruined your parent’schance at happinessand you should […]

the avarice of the ocean (echoes)

one thingabout survivingcertain heavy handedchildhood lessonsyou never shakeis the echoesthat reverberatein the silencepointing outthe similaritiesin what was carvedfrom innocenceand what is saidwith careless disregardin the quiet timeswhen you are almostkeeping it togetherthe affirmations ofthe long red linesburning in the coolsleepless nightsno matter how fara restless soulmight travel fromthose places of painit takes very littleto put […]

an over abundance of mismatched keys

i have bled everyday for five years polluting the æther with my incessant odes to cages crafted by helping hands wondering when the next verse will be my last as i rot away in a parking lot unnoticed for days until someone complains about the stench or has my car towed to free up the […]

an abandoned year

the last year has been in dedication to sullen dessication as i withered on the vine beneath the harsh glare of my own ineffectualities rotely reciting innocuous intangibilities in an abundancy of dehydrated incoherencies lost in an infinite loop where emotional health listlessly languished in a lethargic haze of silent affirmations issuing a full retreat […]

little more than a platypus’s poisoned barb

black lightning arcs between my splintered ribs from the binary stars cast in photonegativity crackling in an ebony crescendo eradicating the fossilized plaque of coagulated hope vaporizing thought as i vibrate in time with the paper lantern moon’s unctuous silvery regurgitated glow a walking umbra catastrophically close to a total meltdown losing all control of […]


distracted by the refractions against moisture in languishing droplets of vapor sending an illusion of cerulean to disguise the vast emptiness that surrounds each failing cell as the rotation whips the tiny ossicles into a full blown frenzy and i can feel the pull of solar irradiated oblivion leeching my will into the spiraling arms […]

the coffee maker screams steam laden dismay

lost in numerics in the sultry sequence of algebraic insolence letters and numbers equating solutions to solvent equations of hypothetical figures dancing under the hazy moon as it deteriorates in the nascent beams of a cranky morning sun trickling latent sums through the carefully regulated ignominy of the chaos brewing black in the absence of […]

origami swans

my clumsy fingers fold the delicate parchment of my origami heart into the shape of an awkwardly (un)majestic long necked swan ever the perfectionist not content with my previous attempts i smooth and straighten the cardiac sheet ignoring the creases from so many prior failures in folding until the tattered tissue paper tears i dreamt […]

under the weather (one thousand miles away)

i find i am not immune to the sweet call of occasional bouts of homesickness the spinning vortex for a place i know no longer exists terminal trips of razored nostalgia through lost souls in sepia malaise it isn’t as if there is any hidden opportunity in amongst the fields of corn new experiences squirreled […]

laundered dreams

my mind is quite persuasive in the persnickety nature of my bipolarity and even though i needed to do so much my legs were disabled at the doorway as the voices whispered to come back to the couch and never go anywhere at all until the last possible moment and so now i find myself […]

lamentations on an electric oven

sylvia comforts me in the times between fleeting naps when my heart beats so quickly my breath catches and the middle of the night is no different than speeding through traffic as i grip tight to the pillow trying to exert some control on the lawlessness of manic derision squeezing my eyes shut so hard […]

amuse(me)nt park

life is an amusement park as a child rife with wonder each new sight each new smell a promise of adventure lurking in brightly colored tents we want to experience each rickety ride play every game and stuff ourselves with fried confections with an abandon only limited by our parents dwindling roll of red tickets […]

pearlescent oblivions

sleep pulls a lazy current as i trudge the silt for pearls enough to grind up a binding agent in shimmering flecks of bespeckled angst i swim against the tide sucking at the shore only to find myself surrounded by surprised fish flailing in the sudden absence of murky salinity slapping the floor of eroded […]

store bought dreamcatcher

a store bought dreamcatcher oversaturated with the sickly sallow light of secondhand dreams plucked from stray somnambulists skulking sleepily in shifting silence slipping unknowing into the silky abyss another half desolate little town out in the dying heart of nowhere texas the fields grazed until the red clay bleeds into the cerulean nothing the sun […]

the delicate stomach of an amateur astrophysicist

on occasion the wobble of the earth’s rotation feels more pronounced and my tenuous grasp slips ever so slightly so i close my eyes awaiting the sudden shift before the vacuous embrace in boiling blood as i rupture in agonzing sublimation among the emptiness between fading stars in the meantime i shuffle awakwardly over eggshells […]

5221 n o’connor

a maze of construction stairways that lead to locked doors elevators unable to reach certain floors a labyrinth of underground warrens beneath a herd of brass cast stallions frolicking in a fountain as angry faces in bright orange glare at a fool with an ever dwindling ball of yarn as the mechanical minotaur roars frustration […]

cardboard signs unheeded

i admire the perseverance of the panhandlers tattered signs knowing maybe one in a hundred will acknowledge their existence casting a wide net for the scraps in the sea of humanity i stopped begging groveling for a moment worth of time and slipping farther and farther away until i was no longer there and my […]


straddling between the shortening days and lengthening nights the autumnal equinox signaling the end of summer’s embrace as we slip towards the frozen tyranny spent in lingering dark the tenebrae weakens between life and death allowing a slipshod bleeding over where the spirits exert a faint soectral moducum of influence after so long spectating through […]

a caffeinated slurry of vaguely vanilla dismays

electrified eels lazily arc through my intestines as a razor blade symphony slices my internals into bloody meat ribbons and i cannot tell if this is some kind of stomach bug or the constant whirlwind of rabid anxieties finally catching up to me as a rain of hot coffee bukkake sprays from the shaker to […]

n field street

i suspect i am an amateur medium channeling all of the spirits that did their best to snuff out the spark before my inferno could rage because if the fire wasn’t to keep them warm then it served no purpose brightening the sky for others to enjoy now i sit huddled buried beneath downtown dallas […]

passionate despair

i get lost roaming the spirals in dessicated wonder genuflecting at the empty throne of creation as the fading fingerprints of god leave another desert where verdant dream once flourished kicking the speckled remains of eggshells watching the skies for signs of life under the absence that bears down heavily to shatter the hollow semblance […]

herded along 360

i am a student of the herd mentality the psychology of the human psyche as it applies to driving in texas the fast lane is accurate only in fits and starts of eventual progress they stay two inches apart and shift forward army ants on the prowl for sustenance never leaving a space for fear […]

de camions de pompiers et de tournevis

a sense ofalways startingin the negativesgiving morethan is receivedon a perpetual basisleads to a deficitsix feet deepand growingevery single dayuntil the tapgoes dry anda true reciprocationis given to theexpress digressionof a wilted worldin half promisedimpossibilities shiny metal firetrucksand lost screwdriversthe dying memoriesold spice andcrackling tobaccoeveryday anotherincremental lossa constantly expandingdeficit of hope leadingto daydreaming aboutthirteen loops […]

sputtering into a new week

sitting swaying little more than a half carved puppet poked and prodded by the invisible forces entangling this universe of apathetic insolence while slowly being smothered in a net of haphazardly handwoven lessons unlearned through trials by misfired compulsions causing an overbearing need to prove my existence as i shrink smaller to dodge the light […]

every time, two weeks a leper

you would think by this time at least it wouldn’t feel as if someone stabbed my heart with a white hot dagger every time the kids leave for two weeks that there would be a callus that formed and this callous ache would be little more than a phantom tingle yet here i sit holding […]

i was an orange tree, until she made me a lime

i was a fading memory until she grafted a hint of her beauty to my cardiac sac the infusion spread across my system until i became nothing but hers becoming something more than i ever dreamt the same way farmer’s in mexico plant orange trees then graft a branch from a line tree carefully pruning […]

back end of a bad cycle

the depression has a rigid fluidity and sometimes all i can do is give in to the effervescent madness claw furrows into the walls of my self imposed prison even as i know it is a cell of slowly degrading cells unified in entropy yet seeking some sort of immortality in the empty refrains of […]

mummified in bedsheets

the dead decided to parade about in my subconscious muddy footprints on the carpet leading from six foot escape tunnels to circle around in a ritual to keep me tossing about the empty bed where dreams are one level lower than sleep allows me to settle letting my fingers trail in the stardust stream of […]

keep moving

as long as i don’t stop and think everything is just fucking hunky dory the issue lies within the inabilty to turn off my brain for longer than it takes the thoughts to linger then fester painting the landscape in shades of despair even the sunlight shies away from the irresistible force of my bipolar […]


my father taught me most everything i know i didn’t have to teach myself people that knew us both always said we were exactly the same just he was always nicer which was probably true because he was smart enough to keep his mouth firmly shut while i have always been an open sewer he […]

without tools

i don’t know if i forgot to hit the lock button on my key fob or if someone popped the door but my tools were stolen from the backseat and i am trying to not fall to pieces over the ratcheting screwdriver my dad bought me thirty some years ago mostly because i am now […]

lowerclass lowercase

i feel hollow a twisted ballon animalistic yet absurdly ill defined my words reverberate from within this rubbery sausage casing cranked and spun and knotted and forgotten as i slowly deflate nothing about me down to my very cells is the same man that lived in illinois no longer the same abandoned little child or […]

a sheet of paper, part nine

the sheet of paper was miserable had given up on any of the small pleasures it had once derived it dreamt each night as it lay upon its desk fallen asleep after hours of mind numbing work of the days it sat carefree in the binding with its siblings ink stained odes to wildflowers and […]

31 stories

thirty stories upone lodged in my throatwatching mechanicalbeetles crawl towardsa slow death inconcrete monolothsand me judging thema benevolent godlingignoring the obvioussimilarities in myown inescapable hellthirty stories upchoking on the onelodged in my throat


i skitter halfway between waking and dead the lingering fog hangs cloying in a sublimation where need roils to coat my vision with the spectres long buried in bitterness awoken by roasted beans to saturate every muted hue of a new morning indistinguishable from the last percolating in anxieties and need i spoke at length […]

lost and unfound

the sun wilts fading into the west evening stretches a long miserable dark silently disastrous in photonic displacement life can be incredibly heavy dragging anchors through wet sand in a stinging swarm of perilous dreamembers carelessly navigating the rivers of raw sewage an infection of incendiary disease souring soulblossoms in an evening fugue tant de […]

anything anywhere anytime

the ride was going so well i went the back way down mockingbird crossed over grassy canals and got a perfect view of dallas’s skyline there were two wrecks but i somehow deftly managed to avoid getting caught up in the congestion another fleck of phlegm barrowing escaping the constriction of sudden construction the highway […]

hive echoes

the music echoes throughout the empty bottom level of the concrete hive where dreams wither on the blackened vine the gods of random songs have declared in their divine petulance today will be filled with agression even as anxiety flares hot i exist in a sphere of the burning steam where my passions dash themselves […]


the sun has yet to wake itself from the long quiet night of slumber the apartment is as dark as the coffee steaming in the mug today is not meant for being caged yet i dress slowly well aware some cages are made out of glass and show you the freedoms we have to pay […]

ennui fall into despair

writing tonight is extracting thorns from tender spots with shaking hands gripping rusty pliers a lesson in agonizing futility dripping pus to stain any hope of beauty less frustrated more resigned scribbling another fucking poem a half drank pot of coffee with a shiny oil slick reflecting the faerie lights dancing recklessly within my own […]

backed up

everything is backed up this afternoon the entire day really a traffic jam since my eyes opened and the silence gripped my stained glass soul so tightly cracks formed in the disillusion of disjointed colored frames bleeding a sterility in shattered deluge across what could have been random lane closures sutures of coarse twine pulling […]


the words spillin watercolors acrossmy aching mindyet the only onesi can extract fromthe pastel pageantryare coffee flavoredkisses to my lovewho sleeps by the waves that is enoughmy sacred bastionin the anxietiesswirling relentlesslyerasing any doubtas to why i love her so

her brown eyes beckon in the sunflower serenade

hidden away in an industrial park i sit enjoying the sun shining across an overgrown area around a dried up creek scraggly little trees coniferous dancing pins and a row of haphazard spread sunflowers with deep brown eyes in a finery of bright yellow petals fifteen minutes to go until the damnation in concrete hell […]

a losing battle, yet to them my heart staggers on

the depression swarms around my head a cloud of gnats in vivid apprehension an arid vivisection exposing the tumors pulsing in various heightened states of shivering dismay i stood in the shower the smell of lime and hibiscus tickling the back of my brain lost in the fogbank of half recycled dreamshit the hot water […]

sundays are a pox

it begins not always but often enough with a taste of acidic electrical static dripping from molar to tongue in a tingling numb similar to touching your tongue to a nine volt battery the anxiety pounces all sinew and muscles rippling a jaguar growling softly the dappled light through the leaves a perfect camouflage for […]

tending the tender gardens of secret surrender

i wear my disbelief pulled tightly around my shoulders to give shelter from the elements to the nigh quixotic innocence of my technicolor heartspasms the world is so barren and ugly indiscriminately lashing out in the petulance of permeable despair yet deep inside these catacombs where hope dissolves into hopelessness i tend a secret garden […]

fiery chorus

i feel less substantial this evening vaguely formless a living shadow wondering how it would feel to be alive i used to light a candle each time i missed you so badly i couldn’t breathe until i found myself trapped in a river of wax and now i just imagine them and an inferno consumes […]

another desperately plaintive scream into the void

how can i fault the canary seeking to escape the cage inside my heaving chest it yearns for the freedom of the cerulean forever it has seen only in dreamshattered fragments filtered through the same chemical delusions in a soulblistered orgy of my own sinfully simmering ocean of discontent. i turn up the music to […]

snapshot of devotion

i gave my poetry to the wobbling heron as she flew low barely skimming the surface of the waves with breathless abandon the coffee flavored words of pure devotion spilled into the warming morning air as my heart fluttered with the cardinals in the heavy thicket. stolen glimpses of unimaginable beauty as my tongue forms […]

lunar madness

the moon is swollen with a stolen affluence of golden light peering proudly a pockmarked preening peacock a spotlight balefully illuminating the decrepit splendor of hope in decline i cut off a quivering sliver of my effervescent nothingness and watched longingly as it sublimated in shades of lavender lament before fading away in the gaping […]

i35n to dallas

i verily goddamned well flew upon gossamer wings of latent disasters at the speed of i fucking dare you up and down the i35 corridor a marionette tugged by invisible strings a castanet filled with writhing pale maggots shaking in my guts rattling the dirge that darkened my way back to dallas as my wooden […]

35 at west

the turkey bizzards circled tue heavy plumes of black smoke that billowed angrily across the clear azure from the pickup truck filly engulfed in flames blocking the on ramp just outside of tiny west texas north of waco i do not slow down the accelerator is pushed firmly to the floorboard as i weave between […]

have molotov, will travel

laying in the dark connecting dots unveiling a picture i would rather deny but self denial is a lot like self acceptance in the two are things i have learned to live without along with so many other things that seem inalienable yet pass right through my spaceship along with dangerous levels of solar irradiated […]

wildflowers bloom across the fields of elysium

trapped behind the windshield as the gray city smears into a congruous collection of discarded cocoons daydreaming of pomegranate lip stains as demeter simpers in her impotent rage imagining the unfettered excitement as hades prepares to welcome his beloved queen into the amethyst hallways of his royal castle loyal cerberus three tongues wagging guarding the […]


a certain uncertainty seems predestined to cast a pall in waves of humming static fat black flies feasting happily upon the rotten fruits of yesterday’s paltry harvest rumbling loudly a chainsaw of tangential anxieties tearing through the stagnation of retched dreamshit icicles of filth hanging heavily from turgid fantasy obscuring absentia in a mirage of […]


these white vansride my bumpereven though my speedis the speed of trafficas if inching fartherinto my back seatwill magicallydouble the rateat which we tumbleinto someone else’s dream. white hot nailspuncture my guts asthe stress i try to burybuilds into a nestof angry fire antsand casual slashesin moments of needdo little but draw outthe creatures lurkingjust […]

a second paper airplane

the moment the words have left the nib they no longer belong to you they belong solely to the world as they dry flaking off as scabs to be collected in corners or glittering gently in spiderwebs whatever heartache or passion you have poured out becomes replaced by the reader’s own unique perceptions you never […]

painprisms in orange relapse

tiny orange blossoms in withered repose bob merrily on the tepid wind where the future rots in stagnant refrain the dessicated beauty bathed in painprisms shying away from my ungulating staccato unable to fathom the misdirected attention of wolves dressed as sheep pretending to be world weary souls long domesticated with feral toothy grins i […]

tiredly facing tireless defeat

a series of seemingly misplaced affections stapled unwillingly to the heaving valves of a latchkey heart three hundred and sixty five bloody furrows etched in groups of five across the prison walls where nothing awaits except for the callous dismissal of diminishing returns as callused hands disabuse the notion of importance in impotent agonies inflicting […]

not unaware, just ineffectual

i keep most of my thoughts to myself to save everyone else the bother of ignoring me the irony of preparing a feast then begging for scraps after is not lost in the subtle hints a breadcrumb trail draws the ravens and i follow the discarded pinions seeing the patterns in what doesn’t remain hearing […]

hoarse cries of fathomless devotion

the clouds drift snuffing out the stars the same way life smothers hope leaving the land shrouded in an opression of billowing darkness as i clutch with bloody hands to the shards of dreams as they recede into the perpetual night where insomnial desires fluctate petulantly against the hammering tide of futility sounding an orchestra […]

a sheet of paper, part eight

it had been days morose and listless the sheet of paper existed but took no joy from being alive was it tainted forever ruined by the fool who scribbled agonies in repetition or was this all there was to be found cyclical madness in repetitive motion working to live but never truly living the sheet […]

a hundred miles of anxious meandering

a hundred miles melting away beneath the tires gripping the gradient asphalt as i dart threading the needle between tired truckers and a mirage of duplicate white cars the framrate stutters jagged textures carve the insolent blue as waco comes ever closer locked in a loading screen before the bland backgrounds stretch in a loop […]

off a day

a monday disguised as a sunday with the same anxious depression the thundering of sand tumbling ticking off the seconds until i am in stasis for another two weeks after a true sunday that sped by the same as a saturday leaving the calendar off balance and me out of sorts tomorrow will be a […]

silvery threads

a bedrock stirring clustered explosion right after a glimpse of her smiling in tattered dream collecting hints of silver lingings drifting from the angry storms circling to weave a blanket infused with this all encompassing love that blossoms across my pockmarked swirling desolation dreampollen floating an intoxicating whiff of secret kisses infused with golden notes […]

3D disillusion

i am not convinced this world is fully three dimensional and not a lenticular illusion of insipidly paltry plastic refractions in pseudoscientific lamentations. a series of artficial ambiguities a discombobulated mass coaxed into a dead language to add a grandiose flair to spice up the need to disprove insignificance in domesticated regurgitations. i need coffee […]

a gurgling rasp

as much as i scratch and tear at the tenebrae between hearts beating themselves slowly to death you’d think that i would have clawed some sort of portal to escape this hell of tangentially aching agonies broken fingernails leaving bloody odes across every available surface in crimson streaks of clotted longing cramping fingers grasping at […]

a sheet of paper, part seven

the alarm rang yet the sheet of paper just lay still the words written upon its pulped flesh promised more yet these daydreams seemed farther from fruition were these thoughts of wildflowers its own or the will of another tattooed upon its tattered soul? the sheet of paper didn’t know or couldn’t tell but the […]

drunchpunk and tiered

a low synthetic warbling shook the bedroom window the pervasive sound of the diesel womb or the mothership descendant hovering or possibly robotic wasps swarming looking for something to repeatedly sting vibrating loud enough to weave a willowy uncertainty into helf conscious dread once the hope of falling asleep once more is shooken raspily from […]


if i stop and think i get so choked up by self doubt i cannot breathe. it isn’t auto pilot as much as perpetual motion. come closer, my love, and let us break the laws of physics together. maybe you can stop my brain from chewing itself distract me with your beautiful soul. the skies […]


she spoke to me in a dream last night i hadn’t heard her throaty voice in the long decades since she took her life yet when she spoke i remembered the fever that consumed us whenever we collided from the first time she woke me up with a story about needing to talk to each […]

harvesting nothingness

i find myself mentally preparing for the long cold winter that never comes seeking to store fat reserves when summer’s starvation is still grumbling from empty cupboards the rows of jars still waiting for a harvest that will never come to fruition no matter how dilligent i sow the seeds death rides a pale horse […]

a chance to dip my toes in oblivion

i deny these sultry suicidal ideologies that permeate the membrane between the nightmares afflicting the waking and sleeping worlds of woe. wearing a miner’s cap with a candle dripping wax down my face as the canary panics in the poisonous air while i mindlessly mine for veins of more in these bottomless depths of dire […]

a sheet of paper, part six

the wonder soon began to wear off as the sheet of paper grew accustomed to the routines of its new existence fluttering out of bed at six in the morning rushing through the sunrise it once found so glorious now just another abstraction that didn’t distract quite the same way it had scant months before […]

reflections of sunlight

i see the distortionof the skyin the concave windows ofthe white work vanin front of meabove me is a seaof roiling graybut reflectedback at me isglimmers of sunshinebeckoning fron theinfusion of distortedclouds and idon’t know what is realthe vision playingin front of meor the nothingness abovei begin to wonderto worrywhy is it thatthe beauty is […]

sixty four unblinking eyes

the spiders sit in the center of overladen webs a contant twitching of bundled snacks eight eyes times eight webs staring in sixty four points of stagnant dismissal and i wonder how many of those bundles are whispered odes to her smile caught only to feed the matrons of weaving as they wait patiently for […]

a sheet of paper, part five

the days stretched bleeding together much the same as when the fool would press too hard and the ink ran from on sheet to another blurring thoughts until there was a sort of standard uniformity to the sheet of paper’s new daily routine it would wake up with the church bells song as the metallic […]