life has felt eerily similar to a car crash filmed in black and white a silent film of distorted pains with nary a whimper to differentiate the scene breaks as black blood pools in solemn waves slowly consuming the intrepid fool in a liquefication of obsidian disasters the film stretches flame spreads across metal canisters […]

i dream scratching across the vellum of night a dull pencil wood scraping faint graphite creasing eternity in an impotent display of loss my only true contribution to art a vague smudge on the edge of a canvas housing flawed masterpieces in half coagulated remorseful scabs as i rage fitfully in a bipolar malaise pollock […]

a purification of sin in sweet self immolation beneath the interlocking brasswork teeth of god sending entropic slivers in a blizzard of molten reverberations to bathe the chemically deluded with a torrent of pain nauseated from spinning against the turbulent tides the undertones of undertows grasping at flailing limbs in a frozen symphony of sympathetic […]

swimming in this fog of indentured nomenclature leaves a soul deep stain that mars the hopefulness in scarred divergences the echoed screams reverberating lingering loss in a secluded delusion of past incoherencies that pummel passionless prose i yearn for an infusion solar irradiation to infect the melanoma of understanding with a fresh melange of rumors […]

the flower wilts despite the sunlight and encouragement he whispers in the silent moments that stretch far past an acceptable amount showing despite the best of intentions some blossoms are so self absorbed that they do not realize how they discourage an amateur gardener from his adorations now his ambitions lay in burning bridges after […]

he sat picking the loose scales hanging like scabs hoping to molt into something new that wasn’t always relegated to a second class commodity and held at arm’s length whenever his heartfelt expressions were left ignored once again maybe somewhere buried deeply beneath this old form of the same callous disregard lay a creature worthy […]

it is far too easy to lose sight of those things that bring us a modicum of joy in the endless malaise of entropic failures that define being human as human beings scrabble about trying to prove that even briefly we existed as life crashes against our weary forms the tide against the shore slowly […]

stoking the ashes hoping for an errant ember to reignite the passion gone dormant in the long dark night of dreadful half dreamt melanoma spreading across beauty in a suffocating wave of defiled deliriums slipping downdowndown a sinkhole, a portal, a gateway to the open maw of hellish best intentions a fetid mass of half […]

falling in and out of fever dreams as the meds keep me from ever fully awakening even as the shallow unnatural sleep matches my shallow liquid breaths a half state in this lingering torment as everything seems to melt into a sludge or slipping into the quicksand quagmires encasing hopes for any type of wellness […]

faulty pneumatics in pneumonia dementia an inabilty to draw oxygen into a corrosion of bronchial disdain the fool moves slowly in a city already done with a short week of pretending to work as the long weekend beckons sullenly from the commerce beckoning to fleece the masses a false narrative leads into a frenzy of […]

a distortion pulling all of reality into the spiralling arm of armageddon with each palpation sending an array where the double helix begins to unravel rewriting the genetic code into a sludge of base desires and indecency in a spectral anomaly that cascades an irradiation of timid intrusions into the absence at the still heart […]

i wake up already choking on these unshed tears as sorrow fills my vacancy in a sloshing nightmare of my own insecurities given icy form and i wish i could find a dream where the rope slides softly around my wheezing throat a lullabye for an endless parade of bitter failings shed like dead cells […]

the drugs hit a million suns burning through cellular dismay a cauldron of molten metals in a pervasive sway dancing in collapsing veins a disruption of mitohypochondria powering illness in entropic chaos the sinuous scales as the dragon slides a delicate dance of nigh divine dystopia cascading in waves of solar dissonance as the vessel […]

a silent celebrationfor the birth of a museto the lodestone in herwildflower smile thatunwaveringly calls mybipolar heart back hometo bountiless beauty inher bottomless brown gazean effervescent effusionin the golden nimbus glowingso bright she blinds yetcannot seem to see herselfa silent celebrationto the graceful beautyof the most tender soulin flashes of pink petalsdancing in her barelyrestrained […]

trapped in another cyclical redundancy incapable of seeking an escape from secondary waves of dissatisfaction where doing your best is subject to the whims of a world that could not give two tugs of a dead dog’s cock about your feelings belittled and shelved no inherent value until long after you have mentally checked yourself […]

i have no more coinsto toss into thishaunted wishing wellof emptied empathyas nothing but thesilt of unreciprocateddreamslurry in thepassionless face ofsheer self absorptiongreets the new day ofdistempered adorationseach tarnished pennyholds the knowledge ofhow self absorption colorsthe disregard to whatanother has suffered inthe inward gaze whereit becomes impossible tosee any fault except forthe glaring flaws of […]

every timei think i haveshaken this illnessthe fever ignitesand i find myselfstill drowning i fear it is apermanent sicknessas each good dayis balanced by threein which i wheezeand long for death the pills aren’thaving the intended affectand sleep is a miseryof half dreamt hellsas i long for a dayof feeling vaguely human one day i […]

there is a phenomenon called the halo effect where people assume because a person is physically attractive they have inherently more worth than someone less aesthetically appeasing a condition compounded by spcial media and the cult of puerile celebrity worship based not on any real merit whatsoever just a longing to feel as if they […]

this morning there will be a disconnection and an almost certain death will follow not long after the machines keeping the body alive even though there is no electricity driving the meat it seems almost callous how simply pulling a plug can erase an existence even if it is just a matter of forcing a […]

it is probably completely normal to be stricken by such a dark depression sitting alone sobbing in between breaths i cannot catch as puddle’s pity party plays the soundtrack to a life unlived the skeletal hand of hope squeezes my chest in a redundancy of shattered shards piercing in bleak submissions and i am donedonedone […]

never ending fron panic to drowning to acceptance that i will always be secondary ignored and forgotten in this suffocation trying to breathe through the thick layer of sick bewteen oxygen and my failing lungs the kids go back tonight and i go back to my hole a rough week ahead worse if the sleeplessness […]

the kids are sleeping a profound peace falls as i listen to their rhythmic breathing all the ills squirming inside of me mean nothing as two thirds of my heart beat a resounding song of perseverance that fills the little apartment with a joy so desperately missing in the two weeks of sickly silence shrouding […]

every exhalation crackles with congestion a consistency of syrup laden shallow breaths and i cannot fall deeply enough to find dream constantly waking before my brain can process it is asleep dipping my cerebral cortex into the shallow end of unfulfilled desires just enough to taint the long stretches where my heart hammers against the […]

i woke drowning an ocean of torment sloshing as i tried to untangle myself the blankets tied around my wrists as i feverishly pulled the headboard creaking as the wet wheezing blossomed into full panicked thrashing the world glared in strips of photonegative abandonment through the blinds as the periwinkle suffocation of clouds reflected the […]

this virulent disaster seated in an angry mass within my brain colors the day in shades of rage squeezing every drop of anxiety into a slurry where darkness stabs into the truths i try so desperately to deny i dread going to bed knowing sleep won’t come though i am exhausted fearing another flash of […]

another panic attack three am sitting on the edge of the bed trying to remember how to breathe in between the dry heaves i suspect santeria in conjunction with the blood moon pulling my bipolar psychosis into a feedback squall of screaming static everything is tinged in palpable darkness as errant synapses fire into the […]

the hot fetid breath on the back of my neck cracked black teeth tearing ragged strips of fevered bloody flesh an insanity of chaotic dentata denada in feral regala traumatically reviled in nauseous lies the scars on my forearms from playing tic tac toe with thanatos to a draw into infinity on the head of […]

fleeting flickering puffs of flame dance fireflies in sea of impenetrable malaise the dour smog seeks to suffocate the still sleeping city where the poisoned souls of driftless dreamers plummet into an abyss of inconsequential woe a rhythmic clip clop of shorn hooves over dew slick cobblestone vacancies swirl as the fog coalesces to the […]

my poetic is shrouded in a dense fog yet every dream is filled with her smile i stumble drunkenly barely able to type chasing fireflies in the shape of peonies from small town to empty parking lots uncertain of where the winding roads lead just a vague sense of incapacitated wonder echoing through the impenetrable […]

the sunlight filters through the solid mass of accumulated cumulus bathing the city in an irradiated silver glare it feels too hot for so late in the year as autumn promises are obscured by greenhouse suffocation i long to crawl out of the hole in the ozone layer to drift free alone another celestial oddity […]

if i shift just rightthe pain in my shoulderwith every shallow breathcan be dulled slightlyeven as this roilingball of oily sickin the pit of my stomachchurns endlesslythroughout the night i am a human biohazardincapable of shakingthis demonic processionin virulent possessiona walking warzone waginginvisible battles incomplete cellular declinea petri dish of diseaserabidly seekinga new host to […]

the paint blisters as the room burns all around me i feel the heat watching the flames consume the ceiling listlessly waiting for it all to come crashing down upon me in a torrent of ashen embers unable to differentiate if the inferno originated in the fever coursing through paperthin walls or my own tattered […]

the last four days of influenze spiked dreaminfection has left me in a haze where the thorns of painthistles tore in every halfdrowned breath that managed to wheeze its way out of my decaying husk carried the delirium tinted calls for a respite from insidious aches as i slept walked unaware if i lived or […]

my circadian rhythm has always been suspect at the best of times but the sick forcing sleep has me all kinds of cuckoo for going comatose for a couple months as this graying bear grumpily sits replaying dismissals in the suddenly oh so sleepless evening the sleeping pills did nothing to abate i understand why […]

there is a stormsupposedly brewingyet i have beensleeping throughthe thunderous pealstalk of tornados orflooding as peoplerace to buy breadthough the stormseems destined to endthis weekend and icannot fathom howmuch bread one familycan consume over twodays of possible rain an evening in theemergency room wherethe pretty nurse witha red snake tattoogave me treatments tobreathe so i […]

i lay ensconced in ice as fire rages contradictory in agonies the sickness unaware of starvation incites dry heaves a maelstrom of nauseated discomfort desperately trying to purge what isn’t inside of me at the behest of this illness leaving muscles cramping in the fevered grip of frozen shudders shallow breaths trying not to move […]

this cold has settled in my lungs two swords driven through my chest that only ache when i breathe or foolishly move the exciting part of a broken healthcare system with predatory insurance practices is seeing how bad a simple cold can grow due to an inability to afford a visit to the doctor’s office […]

i can’t escape this dreadful thought that i am not a real person nothing more than a simple projection hazel hatches hiding a simulacrum in a collection of ones and zeroes with no real heft substanceless in a semi permeable flux background noise sputtering static featureless amongst the crowd of rowdy rabble rousers a shrinking […]

the rusted chainskeep me tetheredto this irradiatedradiator of irregularrationalities anddeep seated tetanusdelusions as thewater boils sendingmolten distractionsin a white hot furyof demure denialsmy skin blistersthen bursts in arampant display ofravaged reservations the world is trappedin muted relapseor perhaps the echosof pained screamshave left me deafenedas the bitterness ofincoherence floodsmy talented tonguean intoxication oftriumphant turmoilsa deluge […]