nothing matters

this virulent disaster
seated in an angry mass
within my brain colors
the day in shades of rage
squeezing every drop of
anxiety into a slurry
where darkness stabs
into the truths i try
so desperately to deny

i dread going to bed
knowing sleep won’t come
though i am exhausted
fearing another flash of
electriced panic as my
chest constricts and
pain spikes along the
nervous indignation where
a fool flounders alone

each crackle of agony
in a rippling depression
i do not want to give a
voice too yet can feel it
choking me in the quiet
begging to be heard over
the pounding of cardiac
tidal waves where i feel
myself falling slowly apart

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