by inches, a poet dies

there won’t be a twenty one gun salute no solemn procession as my body is presented to the masses clamoring for one last look at the fool before the eternal flame sputters out leaving a greasy stain on the cheap wooden cross no fanfare or papal smoke rising from the vatican to signal the coming […]

reminder, sale tomorrow

Notches, A Collection will be free for ebook tomorrow. And (un)poetic and (un)fetteted are 99¢ each! I feel dirty soliciting my wares, but feel free to take advantage of the deals. Big thanks to River Dixon and Potter’s Grove Press as well as Patrick C Harrison III and Death’s Head Press for doing this. love […]

perfection

i know you would roll your eyes at me if i dared say you are perfect you would brush it off or try to convince me that it is far from true you’d think i was overly romantic the fool was too much in love to see reality with lavender glasses bleeding out the hard […]

Crotch Full of Halloween

“Are you having fun!?” Chris screamed. “What?” I heard him perfectly well, but he will just yell louder. “Are you. Having. Fun?” People across the room looked at him in confusion with their heads slightly cocked to the side like a bass player in a metal video from the late nineties. I looked around the […]

sleepy juice

mommy drank her sleepy juice the fire in her eyes had gone to embers as she glared blearily around the room a cigarette burned in the ashtray as she lit another i watched out of the corner of my eye as her head dipped then snapped back up only to raise slower when it finally […]

digging graves

she told me my heart was a cursed burial ground filled with the smiles of the most beautiful women to ever walk this world killed by the fumbled inadequacies of the messy fool spewing moribund poems looking for the lady with wildflowers in her hair never quite present never quite right a cardiac infraction with […]

training

training for a marathon barefoot across the remnants of every childhood dream that was shattered every year i die waiting to be reborn into something half as twisted half as infected half as ineffectual something more suited to be injected directly into your open mouth training for extreme depression by locking myself into the closet […]

Sunday, November 1st, specials

As a heads up to all of you wonderful readers and artists, this coming Sunday the Fool is giving you presents. Death’s Head Press and I are going to drop the price of my collection of short stories, Notches, in e-book to free for the entire day. I’m proud of this one. It goes across […]

private lines

i found myself writing a poem about you as i woke one that captures you as i see you one day i will whisper it into your ear between kisses on your neck i am saving this private little verse for me as it is not for public consumption they don’t get to know the […]

(i)

i am the last bloom to push out of the soil too late to ever open like the flowers around me the pistachio unsplit the scuff on your new shoes i spit in the eye of both god and the devil for doing fuck all but watching everything sink i tell the truth even when […]

extent

she cut the wires to my self destruct button so now when i jam down hard on it in my moments of extreme weakness it just plays her smile on a loop sending the bitter sorrow back to the basement where it belongs she knows the affect she has on me yet never uses it […]

marshmallow

as wonderful as the ideal of a new regime coming into play maybe to some has anyone stopped to think that it is akin to slapping a band aid on an injured bald eagle’s wing while ignoring the head has been lopped off at this point it will take victor von frankenstein or herbert west […]

gravel

sometimes i feel so fucking hard that i cannot take it i just sit sobbing unable to breathe in those moments i need you so fucking bad it takes every ounce of strength not to beg you to help because i have to be a rock even if my guts are gravel and i cannot […]

cold

the sky showers down droplets of its peculiar vernacular a rhythmic dribble lost in the nuance of her absent-minded stare when the only urge is to wrap myself tightly around her take the worries away in the warm glow that pulses in her presence it’s cold again today i sit watching the rain shivering beneath […]

creativity

on hand and knees heaving onto the oil stained concrete wretching a sluice of scabberously chitinous locusts twitching malformed wings skittering on half burnt legs into the overflowing gutters filled with the tearstained lost faith of artists that gave every bit of their soul to create only to fail vomiting a hoarde comprising the broken […]

lesser than

i woke today insubstantial a shadow of the person i had hoped to be a wispy almost human shape filled with insecurities anxieties a once hopeful bastion of dream no more than a fraction of a hint potential squandered in an emotional pile up along the rainy corridors between real and imagination i woke today […]

the moon weeps

the moon weeps the air filled with sullen tears as the skies above reflect the seas below i dreamt of you last night in fits and starts i found you sitting in the shade of the kapok tree while the concial thorns sway beneath the falling rains you smiled as i chopped my way through […]

one less

he lit another cigarette off the corpse of the last letting out a cloud of blue smoke that danced in the cool rainy air followed by a tremendous cough that rattled like thunder and looked me in the eye as he spat onto the wet concrete and said: each one of these is a fuck […]

unfuflilled harvest

the world rings hollow the rains continue to fall in the blank spaces between errant spatters unblinking eyes trace movement coiled ready to strike i lay here under the elements weathering the storm staring into the ceaseless night that rests just behind your unabandoned vacancies in you i become less substantial unvisible in your tumultuous […]

sterile mockingbirds

there is a beauty that shines to me in the degradation of the countless copies the inspired bys that go too far cross the line into outright theft yet never quite manage to harness the spark of the original film slowly deteriorating into shambling mockeries of unaltruistic design it is there in the unentangled quantum […]

you(than)eyes

it is in her eyes a cold panic in calculating increments a sheet of ice coating her sense of self she sits at the threshold of fight and flight all i can do is slowly lower my hands step back into the shadows vanish from sight her nostrils flare as i settle down onto a […]

fact based speculation

there are things i accept as truth that have zero bearing on any aspect of my life or the small chunk of this giant world i occupy only when i pause to conceptualize them do i begin to question the veracity of the known unknown truthiness of it then the ideas grate across my brain […]

random thoughts, a fool flickers

i think that everyone should listen the ramones at least once a day they are good for the heart they are good for the soul if you don’t like the ramones i don’t think i want to know you that they should teach murakami kafka and twain in grade school then every three years after […]

epitaph

she described my own tombstone to me while trying to make me feel better he was surrounded by loved ones yet never loved the way he chased his entire useless life she said it nicer

accumulated dust

she disinfects herself of any scrap of me with her antiseptic smile fast across the countertop of indignant misunderstandings I may have been an anchor around her waist but we both knew she was the goddamned rope tethered between hope and my third rib so when she tells everyone she didn’t feel a thing it’s […]

mortician

she was made for me like a pine box lined with satin standing open next to a six foot deep rectangle in the middle of the desert she eyes me like the shadows in the noontime sky slowly circling spiralling closer to where i lay prone beneath the anger apparent in the storm behind her […]

rings

they take their rusty blades to hack hack hack away at me seeking the secret to my hollow rings whenever my mind is otherwise elsewhere surgical precision of a million palm fronds dancing in hurricane force winds carving intuition from virgin flesh leaving vast fleshy partitions to strut my nightshigers like a skinned cat in […]

treadbare

i have become treadbare threadbare spinning in place yet never moving never finding traction in traction a reactioniary revisionist no time for thought no plan no future no time for foresight forgot to look ahead hooking a gift horse in the hellmouth beating a dead hoarse throated cry of the harebrained hairtrigger sniper the asinine […]

alone

she never loved me but she loved not being alone so when she felt alone she loved me(occupying the vacancy next to her) until someone better came along that maybe she could love to be with even more than how much she loved not being alone

(her)on

his head is heavy the headache has returned welcome home it screams in pulses of wavering intensities of electrified honeysuckle infused agonies he is in his bed yet he cannot turn off the feeling he is still gone too little sleep too many thoughts so he drowns it all in coffee ryo happy thoughts of […]

fifteen to close to home

exhausted yet wired back in the familiar cave not home no she is home together we are home but close enough compared to hotel life fifteen hour day five of which spent roaming the airport dancing down the escalator singing i’m scum loudly with nothing better to do need to decompress or simply press my […]

the fool ferments: vinegar (update)

the fermentation process is going strong. We officially have alcohol. Now we let the fermentation continue until it reaches the right level (6-11%) of alcohol and begins to turn to to vinegar. We are 7 days in. At 20 we should be able to strain the fruit out and cap them. The best part is, […]

shed

there is a reckoning coming i reckon a time for the beast to shed the skin of the fool to ravage savage ruthlessly crush the remnants of what once was a man but is now no more than a shell of who i longed to be too many times i was tossed to the side […]

airport blues

terminal to terminal terminally ill sick of moving never sitting still racing from one end of the world to the final end of the world stark raving mad ravenous starving yet hate filled with longing to be loved training to be expected to take the train sitting on the floor of the vending area with […]

sheep

he was a sheep in wolf’s clothing a little man with a puffed up chest hidden behind muscles he couldn’t use but if attitude counted he was still nothing but a sack of shit staining whatever street he happened to slide down

zen and the art of broken hearts vol 1

i wasn’t born feeling suicidal even though i was well aware that she was the sweetest kind of poison still i drank her down in needy thirsty gulps i learned that poets pick their vices before taking their first steps so i had seen her in my dreams before i knew what any of that […]

dead

i don’t do funerals i don’t commiserate life is negative enough without rolling about in the pain instead i celebrate the soul not the husk being interred i have seen the light leave the eyes of friends of loved ones heard the death rattle the long exhalation sat in the room as the reaper attended […]

pinholes

there are pinholes in my darkness little rays of light lost lumens seeking an escape from the irrevocable emptiness that permeates my entirety cascading beams that exist only to be absorbed into my inequities bounced against the onyx stillborn heart caged in a tomb of bonefuckery every unanswered prayer wish or i love you a […]

overwhelmed

i am overwhelmed too many people want a piece of the fool i don’t belong to me i am hers so if you need me contact her maybe she can pencil you in but i doubt it she has her hands full already with me

first

the first time you came over we talked for hours on the couch then our lips got entangled and somehow our clothes all fell off we went back to the bedroom where you screamed out my name with every shuddering spasm with every time that you came when we woke in the morning i wanted […]

left alone

i just want to be left alone the world can go fuck itself the chatter can stop the people can turn to dust blow away into the sunrise i just want to be left alone with my thoughts my mania my pain my scars where judging eyes are blinded by the light refracted off the […]

day three, morning

she sat weeping as the cold air blowing as she tugged her (exist ten)shawl(dread) tightly over her bony shoulders as bitter tears turn to dirty smears upon her lined cheeks a chance encounter on another sleepless walk i needed coffee she needed food so now we sit under the less than hospitable stares at the […]

edge of babylon

it’s so quiet too fucking quiet i can’t think without the music on breathing in the recycled air in this empty hotel the edge of babylon. i keep going out for walks aware there is nothing to see here nothing to be here an interruption a disruption mistyped code deletes the function an empty junction […]

day two, morning

the line for the fast food restaurant stretches around the building snaking it’s way through the hotel parking lot he stands in the window freshly showered in the midst of crippling depression as he stares down at the cars he can’t sleep the bed is too soft the covers too heavy the pillows too much […]

in there

there are monkeys flinging shit from the balcony in my mind rabid little bastards with insane fever burning madness in their eyes there are ducks swimming in ever tightening spiralling doom through my endocrine system pecking at my pituitary gland like a fat beetle on the waves there is a squirrel frantically clawing at the […]

tangled

this bed is too big for you not to be next to me though, if i am honest, a twin bed would be too far away as well. all i want is to be tangled with you.

day one, morning

the time change has my head all sorts of fucked as i found myself roaming the streets at two in the morning unable to silence the words in my skull yet incapable of spilling them into the aether the area is familiar enough during the day but as i walked i found myself feeling more […]

airport elevator

we shared an elevator something in that allowed him to share his trip with me a messy break up a near restraining order restrained by covid she moved six months later she reached out he flew from new york to dallas they had a rekindling he offered to move she wasn’t ready he was slighted […]

gradual

we all stand by the water’s edge feeling as the cold slowly climbs a gradual drowning so many loved ones have disappeared beneath the waves the emptiness reflected in the placid lapping i close my eyes lock your smile into my mind as the the water tickles the tip of my nose uncaring of the […]

no one can see

some days i am a sparrow dancing from foot to foot on the branches trilling another unnecessary ode to her some days i am a storyteller rambling from metaphor to metaphor in the lines spewing another insipid tale of me i scream cut off bits to smear across the screen snarling spitting rage sorrow suffering […]

the fool ferments again: vinegar

In my new exploration in cooking, I’ve grown obsessed with uniting the five flavors in each dish. My latest facet has been focusing on acidity. The perfect counterpoint to sweet but so often neglected. Tomatoes are a great source in typical meals. But I want to move past basics. So vinegar. A two step fermentation […]

chris miller loves dark tower

his jowls quivered as he clutched the glass brought it up shakily to his rage whitened lips “as an adaptation…” i turn away unable unwilling to hear the lies rotely memorized yet false things like maggots writhing on an old log “but, as a movie…” the madness fades to a soft glow of enraptured joy […]

dreamspasms

as i slept straps seemed to stretch across my torso over my legs my arms over my throat my wrists my ankles each time my eyes opened projected images of fruit rotting medical procedures from the late eighteen-hundreds danced across the ceiling in maddeningly slowed down or oversped sequences a full spectrum nervous system attack […]

at ease

i studied philosophy until it became self evident i knew the answers to the questions posed seven left a happy accident no sadly, still no if you slide a finger inside and make the come here gesture you’ll feel it the only one that haunted me sent me down dark paths seeking the true definition […]

filth

sometimes the only thought on repeat is of simple love and joy but i lost faith in expressing either as no one cares unless they can derive their own pleasure from the words so instead i choke them down hoping for something horrible so the animals are sated the beauty is only attractive when they […]

repossess

the clergy came to repossess my demons today they stood stoically in all black little white inserts at the collar somber men of the cloth here to do serious business i told them i wasn’t home as i eyeballed them through the peephole persistent bastards tenacious even i drained nearly an entire bottle of red […]

missed

i have missed you in that missing came to realize how deeply you run in my veins so when i miss you i feel my pulse on my throat right where your mouth should be and i whisper my love into the darkness

delete later, cry for now

it is so easy to choke on the bitter rind life has in abundance to let the waves batter us until there is nothing yellowed bones broken sinking in the tar pits that seemed like solid ground. it is why when those firefly lights of happy come i will just sit smiling trying to absorb […]

picked clean

sometimes i scare myself i know i push go too far too fast get too caught up in the inner space of my cavernous skull i dart between cars going one fifteen writing poetry that will never see the page unable to slow down to lift my foot off the accelerator or my fingers from […]

a reply to an unnecessary question

half the night spent awake in that familiar shake and bake tossed and turned southern fried mental misery no matter how hard i try to shut it off i can still feel the two holes where your venom entered my system in the quiet time of the witching hour it burns its way through my […]

heavy

there are moments when the world feels too heavy but the weight starts somewhere inside my chest everything feels fractured i find myself floating in an upside down umbrella in flash flooded streets as cartoonish nightmare parodies dance along the roofs of the submerged cars kicking off alarms that bleat silently with flashing lights on […]

cupped

i just wrote you another poem as i drove it was possibly my best prose yet so i cupped my hand around a stray beam of sunshine whispered it with every nuance then let it reflect off my mirrored pupils to find it’s way to lay upon your skin

myop(i)c

i am starving hollow an echo answers when i choke down the sparse spittle from biting my lip the entire day i am miniscule an ant among giants that seek to step on my every furitive movement through the big city hatred every building is covered in mirrored glass yet when i look i see […]

i/she

she is the tender curvature of my elliptical nuance as i am the flickering tongue of her full blown inferno i am the shadow she casts as she glides across the floor as she is the moonbeams reflected over my wicked blade apart we leave nothing but wreckage where people used to be together we […]

silken sighs

it feels as if my bones were ground to dust to coat my crushed organs deep fried in a lake of fire as i am served up on a silver platter for the devil himself a stygian love letter a disaster unfurled a three course lesson in futility an abandonment of sin bound in a […]

hole

damn near rubbed a hole through the magic lamp wasted every wish on idiosyncrasies disguised in ill advised soulrattling cries draped in lies there is a hole in my sole as the streets run red with blood the steady squelch step leaving crimson splatters on this one way manual escalator leading directly to the latency […]

spun/spin

the world has spun me so many times, my sense of direction has lost all bearing/baring my lost sense of self, to a world of razor blades and lemon juice rainfall in the heart of ache there are static discharges that skim the edge as spiders lay eggs in all the things that are better […]

folded

i first knew that i had gone from simply loving you to being in love with you when you told me you save the folded chips for last i don’t have a reason just at that moment all i wanted was to hold you tightly and spill the sudden overflow across your skin

the light

the shapes in the darkness shoot forward to tear chunks of flesh from the corpse seemingly suspended by the ropes reaching up to entangle limbs to cinder block a vacant eyeless stare facing the light never to be felt again

hope burning

some days the entire world is beauty today i drown in a pool of ugly the only thing untinged is you, my dearest that’s enough to keep hope burning

dumbo octopi

they dart around my head shadowy octopi with fluttering ears propelling themselves through the humid air of early morning dissonance writing in duplicate seeing in triplicate lost in the waves of this ocean bearing down down down on the battered fool in desperate need of relief she comes over the horizon draped in gossamer golden […]

centrifugal

i get high write shitty poetry by myself under the moon a cloud of startear smears across the screen in the steady tapping to the emptiness that fills me in its own impossibility i get drunk compose simple sonnets to you as the room spins a vertiginous whirlpool through my brain as i weave the […]

stopping point

he wasn’t sad or angry or bitter or lonely or chagrined he wasn’t heartbroken or sick he was just done. the void has a way of insinuating itself into the most mundane days or sending a tendril to darken the brightest ones. it was then as he made a pot of coffee too late into […]

twenty one gun

the ache {rattles} through my hollow bones [scurrying] through the empty expanse within my skull faint…echoes…from another pain(another flame)another oligarchy /drenched/ in emotional sins there is no (heaven) greater than the one manifest in you there is no (hell) greater than the distance between this ache in acid etchings along my spinal collapse the sky […]

shimmery

the tarnish runs too deeply on my soul to ever do anything but reflect your beauty but like a slick of oil on a serene pool sometimes the light catches me just right and i shimmer that’s how you make me feel inside shimmery and maybe a little pretty

dream woven

i lifted my head as the final line of a poem floated off my tongue a declaration so true that it willed itself into half dreamt existence i inhaled sharply to try and pull the words back so i could feel them in my mouth once more infuse them with the image of you burnt […]

slept

laconic meanderings in the heat of early autumnal reverie(flint spark tinder)heavy is the head that wears the fez tassel streaming(oft forgotten glimpses)lost hours filled with unwept tears diuretic fancies flit(permeating the tenebrae)serendipitous; the bastard sleeps: the bastard slept. rainswept/windswept/unkept/unkempt everything tossed together in the umbra of lackadaisical(semi- plausible)denialbilities a translucent redundancy hums at the edge […]

aspic

the spastic aspic flailing in the ill fitting mold molded to his ill fitting sense of self-preservation preserved in the meaty brine suspended in his disbelief failing organs organically organized in the savory slop a buffet of buttery buffering fluttering fluffily static images that once smoothly streamed now the reel to real reels as the […]

anenome

some days i am my own worst anenome waiting patiently for the sun to unfurl my petals knowing in the furitive furling of my inexplicable dismay the enemy of my anenome is really me

lemon scented hellfire

i woke up feeling like a balloon knotting itself because of leaky conditions torn between maintaining shape or flying loose across the skies stuck in the incidental half thought out measures between twisted like a balloon sculpture in the shaky hand writing of a non-believer scribbling scripture to keep the devil unaware i am coming […]

she hates me

she sent me a message in the middle of the night (she hates me she misses me she loves me) she went on about how her finger wasn’t the same she misses the different grain of my rougher tip she cannot read my words but now sees them in a hundred other poetic lines (she […]

dreamschism

the morning is still heavy but not in a crushing way more in that pregnant pause way that i almost wonder if i woke or if this is a precursor to some dreamschism the edges don’t mesh from dream to reality or my adventure in the land of nod in dream we walked down hallways […]

lavender sun

i drive down the streets at a hundred miles an hour with my arm hanging out the window painting the city with my amethyst innocuosity singing at the top of my lungs as a cloud of joy radiates like a comet tail behind me a heart full of you a mind full of words too […]

coffee with demons

most days the world at large for me can be summed up with two separate time zones pre-dawn promises in which all offers for my soul will be considered for the right deal and after she wakes up to be reminded that my soul isn’t mine to offer no matter how tempting the trade so […]

the conductor and the fool

she kept shoveling coal into his combustible engine sweat running in rivulets through the black dust on her ample chest she ran her pink tongue over every secret unfurling the knots of rope that made up his coarse recollections of anyone before so concerned were they both in their own failings they couldn’t recognize those […]

breeze

did you hear that just then drifting joyously on the breeze as it ruffled your hair? that was me whispering i love you as i drive down the street with music too loud and you filling my kind with your intoxicating smile i have a full tank of gas, a thousand songs and a headful […]

a tulip in decline

our love was a tulip bulb carefully planted in the fall nurtured through friendship during the long cold months until one day i witnessed it sprout within her gaze every chance i had to kiss her as the plant flourished to fill her iris with soft pink petals thriving under our affectionate care like all […]

frayed wisps

emotions are spiders haunting the webs within our minds silent still shadows in the dark corners of introspective mist feeling for the slightest remembrance before unleashing hellish watercolors to tint the day’s malaise grotesquely swollen some skitter moribundly overfed on the negative array that constantly contorts the spinal ambiguities until all the threads have become […]

dasein-ersatz

a sense of confusion sweeps across my paper maché wombnestle, a shuddering wave plays along the straight curve of my dasein-ersatz can you hear my heartbeat’s morose morse code tapping into the aether, the burlap sense of self calling in stutters and stops to your subtle nocturne or is this just a case of the […]

concatenation of perfection

to my mind she was a series of non sequiturs because perfection is a stand alone trait even if her perfections stretched beyond the typical scope inherent in mortals as i fell in love with each facet bound in beauty like dream captured in amber in the very randomness of her concatenation there is a […]

what else?

the best thing about being no one is you can write whatever the fuck you want without worrying about pretext so when i say i am torn between wanting to do nothing but kiss you for an entire evening with pure hunger and tearing off your panties and taking you from behind with no words […]

lush spasms

she captured secret lightning hiding the discharge in mason jars squirrelled away in every nook or cranny she never did say why she hoarded the crackling forks of purple hued dissonance or where she even got them but once she kissed me after a bottle of wine and i still have a faint scar on […]

soon forgotten

the poets sit at a table fellating each other while rolling their eyes smoking cigarettes passing silent judgement while spewing lies bunch of sycophantic swine with no regard for truth less for beauty pouring wine across the sheet pretending they are real poets when they have never known more than a moment’s misfortune never felt […]

lighthouse lamentation

how long did i sit sojourn in this cracked lighthouse manning the rocky shore leading ships safely with crew and cargo to the nearest port? penning letters that were never intended to be sent to a her that never intended to read them the gulls the only company as the waves ceaselessly slap the stones. […]