training

training
for a marathon
barefoot
across the remnants
of every childhood dream
that was shattered
every year
i die
waiting to be reborn
into something
half as twisted
half as infected
half as ineffectual
something
more suited
to be injected
directly
into your
open mouth

training
for extreme depression
by locking myself
into the closet
like when i
was a kid
huddled
in the corner
as the monster
rages outside
to lend
an air of authentic
horror
to the festivities
it’s cold outside
today
feels like a day
for bad
memories

let’s make coffee
stare
out the window
without a need for words
let each other’s
presence
fill the silence
as i
absently
run my fingers over
your body
feeling the satisfaction
that can only come
in the simple pleasure
of being next to
the one you love
knowing that
now
right now
nothing else matters
in a world of
insipid heartache
pause the world
to savor
the way you look
knowing
i haven’t been able
to take my eyes
off of you

training
my mind
to paint you
to the smallest detail
in the cathedral
in my skull

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