ed(i)ts

i do not read myself i figure i already had to live it so going through a story and editing it is a form of hell all i see like in the mirror is the flaws reminding me of how as i stare at the ceiling reliving the past i cannot simply fix the narrative […]

anxiously absurd (the morning coffee is thick as pitch)

a lack of sleep due to constant sneezing brought on by the mobius strip of schroedinger’s cats wheeling infinitely in a state of half life through my thundering head of potential worries anxiety is a gateway to absurdism without bound as every impossible scenario plays out in strikingly detailed minutiae i have become a fractured […]

emptiness as a stop gap to failure

a stamp long forgotten at the back of the drawer yellowed with age bereft of purpose a porpoise in an aquarium dreaming of the sea grown complacent ramming its snout repeatedly into the glass taking small pleasure from children screaming in fright a poet trapped inside a carnival house of mirrors unable to accept it […]

begging for change

mike’s manic patreon has a new post. i have been working on a new collection of short stories and this distinctly odd bit made me chuckle so i thought it might be a nice surprise for the Patrons. i dislike shilling and begging for coins, but i post fiction on my patreon a few times […]

swedonberg’s hell

hell is an apathetic world run down where there is never enough it is a decrepit city where the poor squat in the heat beneath the highway overpass where children starve parents abuse and every sin is internally eternally grinding hope to dust hell is a place where ten percent hold all of the wealth […]

coffee flavored dissent

i appreciate the miracle of life the sheer chance of one errant bolt into the primordial ooze inciting a riot amazes me it is the living that weighs heavily and i find less to be amazed about the shifting chemicals and unfathomable sorrows implicit within is too much to bear

take two until it all goes away

the eyes of the dead stare at me through the diaphonous gauze wrapped tightly around my face the cries gurgle deep in my heaving chest as pus like cataracts drip down the gray faces pressed tightly to the curtain hanging around my bed the needle driven deep into puckered flesh sends the cold touch of […]

a sip of milk before bed

the milk is clotted curdled with a sour film of filth fat black flies wobble lazily rubbing their hands together eager to taste the putrefaction a stale wind rustles the brown grass a high squeal pierces the dusk as a rusted swing sways the night pours across the sky in rivulets of tar swallowing the […]

fruit flies in the rotten heart of hope

the goddamned gnats are back beelezebub has sent his swarm to drive me farther insane it starts with the goddamned gnats a precursor as i pour bleach down the drain i can feel myself spiraling down writing poetry for an audience of none stripping myself bare is less daunting when you realize no one fucking […]

the sun is rotten with maggots

the alkaline taste of batteries floods my mouth a tension forms at the base of my skull i can feel it a maelstrom of pain as it percolates along the tepid edge of my tender pleading will o’wisps of ash dance at the corners as my eyes lose focus and the thunderstorm echos in the […]

silent wings, scabberous claws

honesty is an owl with two hundred and seventy degree vision dishonesty dwells in the shadows behind and still the villagers coil in the darkness brandishing blades warily knowing they cannot trust another soul afraid of the open spaces of facing themselves so secure in the cocoon so carefully built from a lifetime of lies […]

puzzled

life is a jigsaw puzzle with a hundred thousand unmarked pieces a panorama that only shows itself as it flashes before dying eyes yet still with cramped fingers feeling for edge pieces a frankenteinian monstrosity is put together in images of rampant ugliness and immaculate beauty for thise willing to see it through to the […]

fentanyl fairy tale

what light through the cracked window of the mobile home doth break the sleeping princess my juliet on darvocet lying in a pool of pink flecked drool using a jagged row of trackmarks to find her way home once the belle of the ball every beast chased after until the monkey on her back began […]

triangulation

an offset deviation muddying the results of my triangulation seeking the bubblegum heart in this fetid city of off colored rancorous silences it seems that no matter how hard i kick my legs the swingset is incapable of pushing past the zenith beginning the fabled death spiral that plagues my dreams somewhere out there a […]

a fool and a net

i slept in fits tiny islands of peace in a sea of chaos the words churning whispering begging not to be forgotten so i cling to this half awake feeling of dizzy dread listening as the coffee drips standing with a butterfly net trying to rescus the words before they burn out before i too […]

an echo of a thought

i have made a career out of tiptoeing in between the drops of rain careful to leave everything undisturbed i shimmer viridescent in oscillating pinwheels refracting the light making it bend around me the secret to a good illusion is to never really exist in the first place no one cares when you disappear and […]

an indecent descent into deceit

she is a contradiction in condescending descent off the rails, calling out for any and every set of eyes to bare witness to a tragedy of half truth playing out in double time irredeemable detritus the ring of filth floating recycled vendettas wrapped in abhorrent design bereft of basic kindness banality in broken verse crying […]

lilac lethargy

suffocated by the falling blossoms, the lilac perfume ensnares the sinus, building pressure behind empty eyes, an allergenic catastrophe in lavender hued dissidence limbs weighted down with yellowed pollen, a swollen faced fool playing bumblebee, defying physics to float on the summer winds of molten rage towards restless dismay the church bells ring out over […]

a crow and a fool

an angry crow sat on the neighbor’s car cawing loudly at four this morning the neighbor’s car right outside my bedroom window i glanced through the blinds into the darkness blanketing the world outside to see the shadow of the beaked beacon pecking at the hood between wailing admonishments of fury the thought that this […]

Cerberus Howls

august 10th is a big deal for the boys in Cerberus, the universe aligned and we each have a new book coming out and we ready our second collection, Cerberus Exploitation: A Grindhouse Triple Feature. our first book, Cerberus Rising, has been nominated for two Splatterpunk awards to be decided at the end of August […]

eastern rays

the light over the eastern wall once a beacon now a malaise of over saturation in which all shades fade into a wheezing gray devoid of definition there is a pressure to the stillness as dawn spills over the floodgates release an ever encroaching wave of desolation i am deafened by this silent reproachfulness blinded […]

scabs as beauty marks

his mouth of maggots writhing with rot lancing languish in an ulcerative state of alabaster dismay the red dust whips lacerating tendencies in hues of spite an indecent rainbow cascading tepid pains he is the cactus prickly in the heat a safe haven for predators seeking easy prey wrought with knots indecisive thoughts in the […]

comet crashes

my claws knead at this indescribable need a kitten mewling lost just out of step with the tides as she traipses contentedly footprints marking the edge of my tender from the emptiness swelling up from within satisfaction swings into my orbituary but i am no samuel clemens destined for its light twice in a single […]

sleepyheaded insolence

i told her the sun sets in the west so it can selfishly spend its last waking moments shining upon her i have never been so jealous of that baleful orb as when it is night here yet she is framed in the dying rays so i stayed awake until that cheeky bastard rose lazily […]

duality of singular pains

i handfeed the bite that frees me, freely biting the hand that bleeds me, confused or concussed, indistinguishable from various contusions from variable beatings brought on by familiar familial phalanges, brandishing the mental scars from one too many one too manys a famished fool flailing frantically, feigning fatalistic flaws forgoing forging forgiveness for finding fleeting […]

a fool in half bloom

the watercolors run over empty streets to pool in overflowing gutters carrying bits of distortion in sheer black and white across the broken smile of a fool in half bloom . an uninvited guest wrecking reckless rejoinders overstaying his welcome staining the pristine sheets of happily ever afters unfulfilled a rorscharch inkblot of joy torn […]

screaming compliancy

i am a series of learned behaviors somewhat at odds with one another. having become pliable and silent to appease the hands that swing the metal hanger trained to disappear into the smoke hanging over the overfull crystal ashtrays at five foot intervals a magician’s assistant taking on other’s pain turning it into my own […]

somewhat static

i occupy my timepicking apart thedistraction piecesfalling into thegaps between atomsalternating chargeto suit the polarityreeking havoc onmy tenderly awkwardinsubstantiabilitiesspitting poisonousclouds only to thencurse the fog in mythoughtless indecisiontearing everything tojagged reminders thatpierce my barefeet asi leave a bloody trailto wherever the windspush my hollow dreamstaticpolluting the airwaveswith abstract declarationsunable to form the wordssinking in the […]

she stares

she stares with watery eyes a stern look of disapproval in that half dead glare i nod and smile she scowls unimpressed by the barely mobile ape in vans everyday it is exactly the same she watches me as i watch her then i drive away and she finds a new object to silently despise […]

contradictory diction

the sparrows sat staring at me as if confused by my sudden reappearance i smiled from the couch as i stirred the first of many cups of coffee and told them all about the trip north they seemed curious being nonmigratory the concept of going anywhere but here is an exotic image new destinations and […]

americana as seen on i35 to dallas

the roadside beauty of middle of nowhere americana is overlain with walmart blues as a backdrop to the golden arches with billboards for debt relief and saturated fat hammered into dry ground brightly colored intrusions in the long tamed vistas where cowboys once roamed traveling concrete scars through arbuckle mountains trenches carved through stone with […]

the pillows know your name

i seem to sleep in fits of angry silence waking confused to the sounds of fellow transitive states having declared my intentions to a fitful universe that doesn’t want any of my attention i sit staring at the ever encroaching sun losing myself in the shadows it creates every fiber of the uncomfortable pillow has […]

granular

everything feels granular as if time is just an echo transitionary in frantic gulps i tear holes through reality with gnarled hands and sheer spite spitting venom into the fresh hells brought forth by self defeat if everyone is the hero in their own tale yet i villify myself does that mean that maybe somewhere […]

an extra day in hell

the central airin this fleabitehotel on the ass endof oklahoma cityroars like ajet engine as iseek the temperaturethat minimizes thenecessity to listento being able tofind a few momentssleep before the wallsrattle as it kicks ontossing and turningthe sound of dishesreplaces my sparrowsthe television noisebleeds through thewalls and i want to scream i should be packedsipping […]

the basement of the OKDOT

the ceiling of the hotel was not as accommodating as the one at home it seemed to find my anxiety to be too much to listen to so after a fitful night of worrying i skipped breakfast raced to meet the moving truck at eight o’clock sharp now at nine i find myself yawning with […]

ass end of hope

the world is dead except for the thunderous air condition in the hotel room no birdsong trills over the concrete wasteland that is the view of the city afforded by the days inn at the back end of oklahoma city oklahoma there is a mattress in the stairwell that was there when i checked in […]

dallas to okc

the moon makes us translucent the sun reflects our fears the stars are naught but astronauts desperate to come home the clouds let lazy fingers drift across the barren land a storm far enough away that it appears like silk dragged along the brush covered plain the buildings on the side of the highway have […]

inherent pointlessness

everything feels so circular as i struggle to find the point my headache infiltrated my dreams leaving a sense of restlessness to the last six hours of wasted pseudo-death failing at sleep i cut my finger as the knife slipped through the rind of the watermelon spilled a cup of serendipitous brown and the neighbor’s […]

on languishing

angelic tears drown the petty hells in which man toils endlessly an effervescent incidental acrimony free falling inevitabilities of indecent insecurities languishing in the lamentations of earthly desires all roads to hell are paved with misperceived inequalities the soft flesh of innocence lacerated by the stinging barb of ruthless truth i burn away the angelic […]

punchlines and punch cards

anxietybipolarityand adhdmake waitingfor literallyanythinga thousand hellsof false hopesof false alarmsof false beliefswarring at onceevery wordunspokenbecomes a newcoffin nailevery wordspokenanother pathto tormenttime has gonesyrupywith ebbsthat teeter onproposterouseschewingpre for prowith maniacalshifts that dizzya fool droppingdramaminein fits ofslow motionandrogynoussorrowful terror dying aloneis a giftbeing aloneis a cursebut some of usare markedfrom the fearfulburst fromthe wombto the reminiscentsilence ofthe […]

the loss of my friend centers the sorrow unbridled

been panhandling nickel philosophies seeking to define the meaninglessness of that curious fish skittering onto land wheezing as the weight of existence crushes lungs attached to gill questioning the silence expecting illumination then creating a mythos to keep the unbearable truth hidden in parable scribblng dissertations to confuse and confound the less intelligent forming a […]

mood w/EC

There are many ways to leave someone, ligature marks are only one There are bruises over bruises over a deeper, understanding heart and over my fingertips I know there are secrets in the trees but they are never in the moon or my scarlet-blue bleeds because of certain hearts and the way they fit with […]

disenchanted

i find myselfroaming througha hospitallost and seekingaasistancebut the securityare flirtingwith the nursesthe receptionistseems to beat the verge ofa breakdownand everyone elsehas me walkingin circles there is ashoddiness tothe whole ordeala faith inthe system breakinginto even worsedisrepair anddisinterest i wonder whenthe third worldcountriesthe populacelooks down uponwill beginto feel sorryfor our sadstate of affairs roaming amongthe sick […]

ridiculous flight of fancy

imagine another planet far off on the otherside of the universe populated by meat puppets controlled by electrified gelatin infused with chemicals operating combustion engines encased in glass and plastic at high velocity speeding along scars rent directly into the flesh of the world that sustains them spewing poisons into the same atmosphere they choke […]

two absurdists walk into a bar, the fool ducks

kierkegaard is the patron saint of giving in demanding a leap of faith settling on what we are given with no hope of understanding a placid herd undulating on the cold eddys of forever’s indifference allowing yourself to be comforted by whatever will eventually consume you whole i prefer my philosophy to be free of […]

i-35 corridor south

brooding overa garden ofplastic flowerslamenting thelack of bees the eagles hangfrozen abovethe highway inthe throes of aperpetual stateof construction stopping off insmall townsbarely blipson the i-35corridor underthe mercilesssun baking thebrown flat landbetween dallasand hillsboro everything isjust a flawedveneer coveringstatic transmissionswhite noisewith spaces shapedlike cartoonhearts deflatingwhile trappedbetween vacillatingstates ofdepressed dismay

drowning in a pool of my own manufactured angst

occasionally as i sit listening to sparrows sipping coffee spacing out trying to find the strength to face a faceless wednesday my right nostril decides that simulated drowning is the best way to fully wake the chalky protein powder in the coffee leaves subtly simmering auguries the constant drip drip drip of sinal insanity the […]

emptiness within, going without

cast forthfrom the abyssonly to racetowards itwith everyfleeting breathseeking meaningin a reasonlessaccidental lifeafloat uponan ocean ofsalted fearsdelusionallyseeking anyattentiongood or badbefore the briefmoment inthe dying sunends only tocollapse onits own emptyconstant hungerbegging foranyone at allto affirm thatwe existedwhen even thatis more thana pestilencelike humanityever deservedseeking to feedthe emptinesswithin ourselvesby going withoutstriving to beseen draped ina cloak […]

a steady decline

happiness is sunlight in a mason jar laughter trapped in a plastic baggie sorrow is a bonedeep ache rattling about an empty heart an infusion of bitter petulant truth life is an illusion a prismatically flawed interpretation of chemicals a shimmering heartspasm cascading down six feet deep inch after agonzied inch haunted by words unsaid […]

stench

there was a stench not a scent nor an odor but a heavy pervasive pungency to the air as i walked to my first call i heard a grunting turned my head and saw a man squatting and staring directly at me taking a shit in the grass between two buildings in downtown dallas we […]

reality

oscillating between clusters and migraines at a rate where the briefest seconds of relief are fool’s gold a promise unfulfilled stressing myself out through clenched teeth and anxious melodies my heart beat taps out an ever increasing sequence of gasping manic hissing as the steam is released in bloody couplets unleashing a spray of inchoate […]

emptied

my tender feels brittle my patience worn down to a monomolecular edge waking every hour on the hour anxiety blossoms as i cling to the wispy memory of events that never occured reliving these frozen moments relishing each second using them as a crucifix to keep reality at bay ny solid is as hollow as […]

sleep is death without commitment

i woke and that is when it all began to fall apart prior to the waking things seemed to be going as planned but then unfortunately my eyes opened since that irreversible instant it has been a morning filled to the brim with regret coffee my trusted escape has failed me the pressure behind hazel […]

faraday

the room is filled with tremulous beams of ensnared moonlight outside the day has broken and the sun sizzles like the yolk of a fried egg oozing over everything in a heated haze of irrefutable malaise the pressure internal has muted colors and the sounds are broken into burst of white noise that carves itself […]

conch shells

sitting at a red light the music up too loud the city outside sweltering and moving in slow drip a dove flies towards me the wind blowing against it seeming to move twice the speed for half of the distance i couldn’t quite figure out if the glitches in the simulation were growing worse by […]

dent

to the driver of the red sports car with the dent in the shape of a fist in the hood that nearly hit me while running a red light fuck you i wish that i had dragged you out and used your vapid head to make the dent next time

co(n)stant

there are days where i write myself empty then i sit and all i can think is i should be writing my head is killing me not literally probably maybe weighed down by so many screaming ghosts stories memories that i can feel myself sinking even the ceiling has grown bored of watching me watching […]

watching out

i watched her through the peephole as she knocked on the door there was no reason for her to be outside a doorway that she had chosen to exit for the final time years before she waited with her ear turned hoping to hear signs of movement and then i watched as she slinked over […]

five cents

went negative by a nickel and that began a spiral that ended up at seventy dollars in the hole in the fifteen minutes between getting paid and transferring the funds five cents took me from groceries to staring out into another insurmountable crisis of scraping by the bloody fingernails in the prison walls the only […]

yellow

the yellow diffusion drifting in through the cracked blinds fills the room with a sense of foreboding in golden rays that seem to only highlight the motes of dust floating as stagnation hangs heavily over everything the coffee drips sludge to work free the arterial blockage static bursts play in the lavender bursts that rattle […]

(un)requited preorder is live

(un)requited is up for preorder on Potter’s Grove Press in paperback and ebook on Amazon. i think this is my best collection yet, but i guess that is what someone trying to sell a book would say. probably wouldn’t sell much if i said it is mediocre. which it hopefully isn’t. oh no. i was […]

squeeze your eyes shut and the hell grows more vibrant

the sounds of wet tentacles slapping against the windows of the car as i try and navigate this new instance of hell on earth where the sky bleeds on the cracked carapaces of a billion dead cicadas and bloated copperheads my eyelids feel chitinous as they scrape across a duality in unnatural bipolarity

soon

a crack runs across the wall every time i see it i swear that it has gotten noticably bigger as a kid my dad would yell to stop fingering at the crack which became incrementally more hilarious the older i got the wider that it grew the less anyone else seemed to notice as if […]

ramming spikes into language

i saw where someone had abbreviatied unfortunately to unfortch and any bit of remaining hope for all of humanity died inside me i am convinced humanity is a placeholder until a truly deserving dominant species saves the day.

ugly this morning

there is an odd juxtaposition in a fool that loves to sit people watching but cannot stand to look into the mirror in the morning as he gets himself somewhat ready to face a day yet cannot seem to face the face of obtuse ugliness awkwardly stapled to broken bone pitted with scars that stares […]

a thousand bubble baths

she strains her self perceived perfection perched upon her shoulders a modern day atlas of inconsistent rambling lies pluck one thread to watch her persona fall apart as the tall tales told as reverential epiphanies scatter in the gales of discombobulated false realities an inherently flawed marble statue carved in conflicting styles to try and […]

a ghost

he has a routine coffee as the sun rises with a chorus of sparrows that share news of the day before a long shower where the water beats across sorenesses undefined melting down the lump perpetually sitting at the back of his throat as sorrows unrefined tickle his battered tender places hidden among smile lines […]

mocked by misremembered memories

i drifted aimlessly all morning walking streets i havent seen in so long that i have lost track if they ever really existed at all maybe it is a case of having forgotten what the back of my hand looks like but i could swear somewhere underneath a life of accumulated scarring there was once […]

male pattern scalding

in this destitution of self induced lamentations craterous shaped by unbending wisps of sacramental rejections reflections bathed in insidious refractions a blind prism an open prison an incision bereft of precision carving the scartissue heartshimmer a fictional recounting of frictional anxieties mounting it is all falling down my fiddle sits unstrung as the fire rains […]

dimestore schopenhauer

i feel as if i have become a dimestore schopenhauer but then i have to question if my own interpretation is just the ideals placed forth through plurality a studiously flawed summary of external stimuli enforced by the chemicals feeding the will but his focus on the minimalization stripping bare all the trappjngs of an […]

misty haze of nevermind

the roads are slick everyone is going too fast to try and start off this long weekend early ie just whip between the red lights flashing in a hurry to get absolutely no where speeding head long into a three day period of mourning trapped inside my cavernous empty skull writing words that go unread […]

momentary forevers

she broke my ribs to fashion a more fitting cage for a flighty dreamwoven heart she broke my spirit to create a pliable devoted slave eradicating the things she said she loved most and like the silence that watches in eternal boredom i watched as all i was was all forgotten as she gazed upon […]

obsessively repulsive

undiagnosed mania obsessive compulsive irrational actions that feeling if things are not done exactly the right way the entire world willfully falls apart into scattered shards where order and chaos sixty nine into sheer oblivion the universe doesn’t remotely give a shit about stressed out apes playing god to fill the vacuum where deities have […]

one ticket to nowhere

checked most of my emotional baggage at the kiosk except for the scars that carry on into the day to day routine a quarter smile more than the day deserves plastered over a mask of utter indifferences secirity eyes me the fake grin and shaved head and total inability to hide what i feel from […]

confused by reality, contused by hope

every line punctuated by myopic misunderstanding every reflection painted in dysmorphic irregularities my mind is stuck in neutral as the world spins ever on the only certainty is bathed in uncertainty as i seek to capture sunlight with a butterfly net to top off mason jars filled with dreampollen triggering a sinus infection cerebral deflection […]