punchlines and punch cards

anxiety
bipolarity
and adhd
make waiting
for literally
anything
a thousand hells
of false hopes
of false alarms
of false beliefs
warring at once
every word
unspoken
becomes a new
coffin nail
every word
spoken
another path
to torment
time has gone
syrupy
with ebbs
that teeter on
proposterous
eschewing
pre for pro
with maniacal
shifts that dizzy
a fool dropping
dramamine
in fits of
slow motion
androgynous
sorrowful terror

dying alone
is a gift
being alone
is a curse
but some of us
are marked
from the fearful
burst from
the womb
to the reminiscent
silence of
the tomb

i cling to beauty
with jagged nails
the infinitesimal
moments when
it doesn’t feel
as if the entirety
of existence
is laughing
in my face

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