diff’rent shades

i follow the different shades as they bloom on the chaste trees that line the back roads in late spring they call to me in lilac hues that call to that homesick lost child in my chest crying for mommy to love me or daddy to come home from the bar and save me the […]

a dandelion fed to a woodchipper

is it a black hole tearing at my fragile core this endless hunger left unpacified by coffee and deepseated desires offset by the pulsations of polarity shifting voraciously wobbling into nothingness as the morning air whips up dust devils in this winsome tomb of dreams interred queasy on the deck of another night spent hauling […]

a sheet of paper, part four

the sheet of paper slid itself beneath the heavy wooden door and into a small room with an old lady who sat steadily tapping the typewriter keys a faint bell and a short scratch as the return was slid home the sheet of paper scrunched itself up and using the current of the ceiling fan […]

a sheet of paper, part three

at last the sheet of paper with smudged little cartoon hearts drifted down to swirl along the crowded streets so many busy people angrily scowling desensitized to the joy of being autonomous rather than bound in place and the sheet of paper realized that all of the words that penetrated the pressed pulp carried no […]

clear fork

i was driving down hulen street and took a right when suddenly the dilapidation fell away and budding trees now lined the road it seemed as if i slipped into narnia as i drove through hidden clusters of expensive homes with fancy cars lining the driveways in the heart of an otherwise indifferent inner city […]


the conundrum in having people believe in you when the voices inside of you have a polar opposite opinion and trying to rectify the two while exposing your pain in bright bile flecked streaks across the skies wanting your words to be read while leaving yourself comfortably buried in the background rattles the chains on […]

a sheet of paper, part two

it flew saturated in ink tattooed with heartblood and desire seeping deep into a sense of wonder as the world once a mystery felt in the indentations of a scratchy pen clenched tightly betweeen manic fingers in microtears and elongated tear drops it flew higher and higher from the fool staring in sullen disbelief it […]

a sheet of paper, part one

the fool sat a tattered notebook filled with indecipherable scribbles and childlike sketches sat ignored upon his lap as he stared at the birds darting amongst the branches of flowering bushes in a delicate panic of hollow boned necessity the pages rustling in warm wind blowing over dusty brown fields and gnarled stunted trees the […]


deceit and conceit are two sides of the same delusional coin the only difference is to whom we make the conscious effort to try and convince. i keep a bundle of tattered reciepts to make sure that i can always manage to tell the two apart.

angelic dreamsplendor

i am a consternation of neurovibratory disambiguations sedulously pulsing your name in watercolor tinted ink blot allusions each declaration of love spilling in pearlescent spatters of wind swept sighs draped in prismatic decline my heart, a leaf gone crimson, drifts to the ground, a clatter which quakes throughout heavens eroded foundation of loosely packed sand, […]


a trope that always bothered me is the conceit alien life would be humanoid in appearance for any reason whatsoever the idea that a second once in a billion lightning strike into primordial dissent would eeriely trace the same trajectory as the accident that forced us in semi consciousness to think that life can only […]

hoarse murmurs in the antechamber of deceit

i lost my voice somewhere along the sleepless hollows calling out for a sign as the stars winked out one by one by one the universe turned her pale cold shoulder a sigh of discontent in irradiated pulses causing soulblisters to leak clear catastrophes blemishing creation i move by feel crawling through the shards of […]

medusa’s head

we live in a worldwhere we celebrateperseus slaying medusathe fearsome gorgonyet forget she onlybecame a monsterafter she was rapedby poseidon andcursed by athenafor her simple crimeof daring speak outagainst those in power i watch the newsvillify the victimsand i can’t helpimagining perseusriding on that wingedbastard of divine rapeparading medusa’s headas a reminder thatthe victors writethe […]

human phantom limb

i am a curious case of human phantom limb syndrome because long after i have gone missing my absence lingers pins and needles in the shape of my hand caressing your gasping heart a tumultuous upbringing combined with a cornucopia of mental deficiencies leads to a quiet fool writing and erasing long heartfelt expulsions only […]

semiparalytic disasterpiece

my mind never shut off as i lay in a half stupor body unresponsive brain screaming noises i could not make sense of calling howling murmuring a paralytic haze of unresponsive limbs staring up unable to stop thinking trapped in a traitorous flesh lost in the silence filled with disdain focusing on all the flaws […]

three times each

it’s an itch pull everything to the edge of the table even line all in a row largest remains the rest line up in a straight line with the top the remote has a round bottom that doesn’t lend itself to the correct order slightly elliptical in shape a guessing game get the angle right […]

calcification of raven caws

no matter the intent there is no sure fire way to be sure the words being said are being interpreted the way they are intended a confusion of ingrained perceptions can twist the meaning into something else entirely couple that with an innate inability to separate the metaphors needed to explain the concepts never spoken […]


the punks accepted the poor poet as one of their own perhaps they understand they have been listening to poetry off scratched vinyl and in the dirty clubs their entire lives the contrast between selling books at a convention where pity was the usual expression to being taken seriously by the colorful mohawks and tattooed […]

dichotomous clay

it took too long to realize the schism between being born an extrovert and life beating introverted instincts into a dichotomy where neither feels confortable at all leaving me uncertain of what exactly i am the anxious clown or the poetic hermit dancing in the spotlight with eyes clenched tight so no one can see […]

medicate me

under medicated in a dream world of sharpened edges where everything cuts through flesh with a monomolecular blade down to the pitted bones of calcium deficiency tattered fibers unravel musculature into strands of fetid necessity as vacant receptors patiently scream for endorphin support to dull the bright light of miseries in broken states of woken […]

Dead Heat preorder is live

Preorders have gone live for Dead Heat from the guys at Crimson Pinnacle Press. It is another great lineup that I am happy to be part of. An anthology of dark tales set at the end of Summer, it features my tale ‘Red Moon Over Red River Station’, a tale of four friends on the […]

can you, camus?

the stars don’t twinkle out a hidden message bestowing meaning or purpose to creation the fluctuation in photon displacement is caused by the planets wobbling awkwardly in their orbits the same way when stars explode they give off the elements from which we were birthed though we are no stellar nurseries simply the lump sum […]

three disparate echoes of futility

i. a golden ring an undulation on the placid pane of glass reflecting eternity tip tap tip tap fingernails clacking in time with the voracious heartbeat echoing in the dark matter swirl at the center of the universe ii. a fishbowl sitting on a window ledge overlooking the endless ocean a concussed goldfish swimming in […]

rest in piece

another soul unable to take the pain of being ground down into the dust so she took more and more to numb the world away until she decided to take one last hit and give that pain to everyone else she was a star shining so bright until the opioids made her into a husk […]

i will not write today

i think i have given enough of my unwanted self for a hundred lifetimes and today i feel shallow wrung dry a thousand hornets stinging along my vacant tender craving beauty to fill the cracks in my ugly hanging towels over mirrors huddled in a ball in the dark rocking back and forth your name […]

ambient dissonance overload

the coffee maker hisses an angry cockroach petulant as the lone bird cries a monotone disillusion i shift these heavy chains to prepare myself to haunt this bone prison in wretched dismay waiting for the sun to rise once more the breeze from the ceiling fan sends daggers of pain across ny scalp as i […]

welcome to the shitshow

i wrap razor wire across my naked flesh and dare the lightning to strike because i don’t have enough middle fingers to show my distaste for self delusion the worst lie we happily tell ourselves is everything will be alright when we goddamned well can read the writing scribbled by our own hands dripping down […]

ritualistic devotions

distorted shadows dance around the bonfire the moon cratered and dully gleaming in a haze of pregnant disdain plasma courses a scintillating oscillation in molten surges as the electric stench of ozone in pungent distress carves furrows in forever i casually drape myself across the sacrificial altar an eager offering to an indifferent god as […]

sallow charcoal in rivulets of chaos

directly ahead lay soft white clouds daggers of sunlight pierce the swirling vapor with a hint of a better times ahead yet a delineation of sallow charcoal hovers just above me and no matter my rate of speed through the swollen streets hoping for one moment in golden extrusion the rain follows me latched on […]

a call to slumber

autumn teases the gray touch of the coming rot settles morbidly over a summer lingering long past an appropriate curtain call the death knell of verdant memories fading into the harsh brown a beast beckoned to slumber the harvest moon hidden in gray repose a consternation of solar insolance trapped in accumulated cumulus a chill […]

two coins lighter

i woke in a faint circle of brackish light as the ground shifted around me in confusion i leapt to my feet to find myself in a rickety boat a small brass lantern ineffectively fighting the gloom and a lone ferryman stood staring in voluminous robes of coagulated smoke silently guiding the vessel over a […]

who can sleep when my heart beats so loudly

little spindles of static discharge crackling across my exposed heart cardiac infarctions in quivering waves of adrenalized sparks coursing through a degeneration of squalid exhaustion spasming clusters of heartthistle spurs in a tragedy of disambiguous thunder raining heavy blows along the tender soul of meek acceptance a sparse conjunction an intersection of disembodied desires and […]

slinging poetry to the punks

going to go sell books at another concert and i can’t stop wondering how i got lucky enough to get asked to peddle poetry to punks when a few years back i was just one of those punks myself these casual intersections between my two favorite arts both of which where i feel like a […]

my own biggest deterrent

i get into a manic frame of mind conceptualize the perfect plan down to the finest detail crafting a simple yet foolproof plan and then fold it gently before placing it in the trash i know these grandiose visions my manic treatises will become home for spiderwebs as my depression prevents me from being able […]


the power cycled on and off each time blaring out electronic symphonies the winding up and immediate discharge for hours through the night and i knew this morning would be rough but even a pessimist can over guess the quality of a monday morning as my phone goes off with new calls on the same […]

sleepily mumbled i love yous and something about rain

it’s raining there is somethingso soothingin the first rainsto break thestranglehold ofsummer’s passionafter so longthreatening toquench the dessicatedsouls of brokendreamers trappedin the dustyhellfire ofbiblical torturesin strikingtechnicolor oozingpainblossoms i forgothow instantlythe pitter pattersoothes thesavage soul seekingsmall sweetnessin the sudden calmas thunder rumbleslightning flashescasting shadowsthrough the blinds it’s raining the water runs downthe broken sidewalksflooding the streetsin […]

pocket watch

when i was a kidi had a brasspocket watchwith glass cut outsin which i couldwatch the gearsas they clickedand i would sitand wind thelittle dial andstare as the springscompressed tighterand tighter untilfinally i watchedas the small coilsnapped from theimense pressurei manically applied. a self fulfillingprophecy in thehands of innocentcuriosity in aclear display ofthe anxieties thatwould […]

sunless sunday saturation

i can feel the x-rays pummeling me as i strive to keep hold of my inner most thoughts all while this irradiated waterfall slowly cooks me from within. i lazily ponder the distillates hovering around the tattered old dreamsphincter billowing pollution into the gray skies an orange level alert to insomnial passions blistering grit in […]

five day forecast

weatherman says it is gonna rain all week long but i don’t know if placing hope in someone with such an abyssmal average of accuracy is worth lugging an umbrella around on the off chance the smiling prick guessed correctly but we need all the goddamned precipitation the universe can piss upon our heads even […]

with understanding comes destruction

humanity used to gaze in wonder at the cosmos connecting twinkling lights into heroes and monsters that battled across the ebon skies forging the mythologies to explain the mysteries of the universe. science removed the divinity as light pollution erased the source and it feels the more we understand the forces at play the less […]

instinctually indistinct

we haunt the ephemeral illusion between the sun and moon alive with crackling vibrancy yet numb to the horrors paraded in front of unfocused eyes with a regularity that beguiles comprehension even as it happily defiles hope into apprehension billions of cells a chaos of corrupted hungers screaming soaked in chemical drips a sloshing beast […]

contemplating the nose my mind ignores

people enjoy making others feel small because it makes them feel superior so overstuffed with their own self importance they don’t see people as anything but objects to be used to over compensate for their many obvious failings they do not see the damages gleefully inflicted only the reflections of their avarice telling them they […]


light headed the world keeps spinning and i feel every rotation pulling me farther into the dark swirling at the edge of my vision i watch as the floor warbles ckoser to my heavy head there is nothing no light no pain just a serenity in absence four blues eye two brown call into the […]


i used to sit with a large dictionary flipping frantically to decipher the full intent of a sentence with each new word i came closer to being able to describe the various ways i felt i was not angry i was inchoate that is not red but shimmering vermillion my brain has always been filled […]

a flip of a switch

my silence is impossibly heavy my absence when fully retracted is a gaping chasm a darkness that absorbs all of the light until it becomes all encompassing the same way my passion scorches the earth in a supernova of loving intent and i exclaim my adorations on every single breeze i oscillate between mania and […]

clutching scribbles

i cannot explain the feeling of holding a book of things i scribbled. i do not open it, can not bare to hear my own voice. but i know the words. can see her in my mind, and all i can do is hope to capture her beauty in the next one. poetry is for […]

last first days

today is my daughter’s last first day of high school and my son’s last first day before he goes to high school next year i remember their first days of kindergarten the tears of a baby growing up leaving the nest for hours a day feeling like i was losing a part of them now […]

1lb no more, no less

the nettles announce it is time for another screaming session into the void opening the overrun to let the excess sluice away meaninglessmeaninglessmeaningless everyone walks around with beeswax melted only capable of hearing their own names stepping over bloody vomit staining the sidewalk with casual disregard autocannibalistic self indulgences itisallsogoddamnedmeaningless yet the nettles swiftly sting […]


i feelall of the thingsi neededfall awayscabs inthe tempestas my diseasednothingnesspulsatesin a frenzyof denials it is easierto slap awaythe hand seekingsuccor rather thanoffering peaceto acceptthere is onlyemptinessbetween thosedying emberspopulating theeerie cosmos the damagescallously inflictedmake it sowhen i curl upinto a ballit almost feelsas if i am beingheld againas long as iignore the factthe arms are […]

the planes scream

the planes are screaming today displaced air in a constant rumble white noise trying to drown out the excess static as i pixelate slipping back into a cracked facade of false smiles and empty greetings buddha said clinging to anger is the same as drinking poison hoping your enemy will be the one that dies […]

clacking little chimes

every poemis formedwith the ashesof effigies burntso there issomethingof substanceholdingthe words intoa rictus grinas i sculpttiny birdskullsthat rattleas the eveningsighs its displeasurein harsh mementosof tomorrowsthat never came


the drowning cycle has begun again i know the signs the initial expression of being trapped bad metaphors on metamorphism before i break down and begin begging which somehow becomes everyone else turning defensive so acceptance settles as i compartmentalize smashing everything into rusted boxes as i build new walls rather than force myself to […]

quagmire paradox

we float bodies numb on this sluggish stream of ice cold nothingness fingers trailing unable to grasp at the darting lights glimmering just beneath the surface and we know whatever those fluttering half frozen beams are they are the only thing in this vast hell of half focused delusions that make any sense even of […]


happy endings are only found in shitty stories and certain seedy massage parlors carrots on sticks we stagger after drunkenly between bouts of depression and daily disasters

conditioned to be secondary

they said we are conditioned in the fear of missing out to say yes to everything while pushing our own needs farther back until we are constantly moving and happiness becomes missing from the equation and i sat there quivering with little barbs of anxiety alone in a room trying to remember the last time […]

i tried

in the darkness as sleep teases just behind nail pierced eyes i contemplate the proper composition for suicide notes as based on the level of depressive solitude crushing across my broken soul in tectonic deviations some are flowery pining bits of fluff extolling the virtues of all kept just at arm’s length during a tumultuous […]

pond skater

there was a pond skater on a placid lake of frozen tears slipping across the icy saline uncertain as to anything yet driven all the same it didn’t question its surroundings simply slid in a deep seated confusion of miscalculated instinctual failings i do not know if i am the pond skater or the flash […]

the car is running and my bags are packed

each sleepless night has its own flavor of anxietal dissent this one spent one hundred and eighty some odd miles from my typical purgatory as strange birds circle having heard the tales of the tired fool and his endless font of oft ignored idiocies is a submerged suit of surreal generalities as i piece together […]

four am outside the hotel

sitting in my comfort zone a parking lot at four in the morning too wired for sleep too tired to think but that is what i need to do it was said to do what makes you the happiest and i realized i have been doing what makes others the happiest and ignoring that my […]

main hall

blithering blathering i worry the self absorption will consume me making me nothing more than a figment in their epic delusion it is amazing how alone you can feel surrounded by rooms full of excited people i don’t exist in the lives of those that matter how could i matter to a bunch of strangers […]

fear of flying

we see the beauty in the fluttering wings of the new born butterfly while callously ignoring the trauma of the catterpillar being torn apart in a writhing cocoon the voracious temporary forever in liquefaction i am a caterpillar crossing the crowded highway praying for an errant eighteen wheeler to prevent my metamorphosis

killercon vendor room

it is so loud so many voices talking and everyone seems to know who i am which is quite disconcerting seeing as i do not know who any of them are Nd it makes ne uncomfortable trying to suss out hints while nodding and wanting to run i do not belong on this planet i […]

Rambling down 35

The complexities of the human mind never cease to amaze me as I try to block off a panic attack while driving a hundred miles per hour down the highway and uncertainty writing a poem unable to me differentiate the tendrils of anxiety and released with a self-destructive urge to go faster and faster I’m […]

maggots writhing in an empty waiting room

a cosmic sizzleas the necroticwaves of nepotismcrash againstthe discontentedcoercion ofcalamtious convolutionsin discreditedcallous causalitiesrendering the bonesof gods and meninto a gelatinousmarrow septicemiaof corrosivecondemnations my back is hunchedmy eyesight grown weakfrom too longsurrounded by thesedead canariesat the bottom of thisrickety mineshafttoiling from sun upto sun downin a miasma ofpoisonous darknessfar beneath theskies filled withgolden hypocrisies there is […]

i don’t need to be human, just closer to her

can you feelthe sparksflashing overmy blistered fleshsee the carbonscoring inblackened pitsas boneshardsjut maliciouslyin ivory needleswhere skeletaldysfunctionin a clumsy displayof biologicaldismalities forcesmy broken frame tostumble in anelectrical stormof disillusionscorching the grassin a series ofcartoon heartsto burn the scenicbrown of summerinto a hellstormof divinty tingedashen remindersof a time beforewe were all nothingmore than the failedexperiments ofthe sheer […]


my patchwork heart has no demilitarized zone no contested acres but a smooth clearly defined delineation of wildflowers tangled in her delicious smile despite the apparent delirium in the didactic revisionist histories there is no ounce of doubt for whom these folded flaps of ink stained pages beat softly throughout the night for you can […]

she is the dream my heart cannot awaken from

i spent so long chasing someone else’s dreams that i lost sight of my own until all there was left for me was a garbled path with the crunching of dreamshards i no longer recognized in a land filled with all the corpse’s of the lost bastards i followed blindly aware that any step could […]


the skies that blue no crayon can ever quite seem to recreate stretched on into the infinity of my weak comprehension i know it is nothing more than droplets refracting the rays of the distant bored burning ball desperate to consume mercury whole trapped in a bubble a once in a billion accidental petri dish […]

(un)tethered release day

(un)tethered is out now! honestly, i don’t read my stuff, nor do i recall most of the 6300+ poems, but i have leafed through this one and was pleasantly surprised with it. definitely my best work so far, simply because of the woman that inspired the words spread within. this is my attempt at a […]

i will sleep when we are dead

there was a howling vortex screaming as i shook off the effects of the sleeping pills uncertain as to where i was i crawled shakily through a demented hell of my own foolish creation the hand of god squeezing my temples as the last flecks of spittle ran down my furry chin hundreds of miles […]


the only time i truly shut down is going one hundred down the highway absorbing the blurred details as i dissociate racing anxiety between eighteen wheeled catastrophes an insignificant skull of jello in a meat hell controlling two tons of destruction what could go wrong


each word that tumbles across my oh so talented tongue carries the passion of a thousand dying stars yet the real magic occurs when nothing is spoken at all this dour soul hides an inferno you can only hope to witness from a distance safe from the licking flames burning through hazel lenses an undercurrent […]

morning drag me up

i need a stronger colombian blend to erase the cobwebs of exhaustion these dried beans lack the kick of fresh cocoa leaves mashed with diesel fresh from a dangerous camp hidden deep in the untamed jungles just another over caffeinated roving disaster seeking a harder kick to finally ascend beyond the need for practice sessions […]

as it should be

i feel desperate to talk but my jaw is wired shut and everything i say isn’t nearly meaningful enough for anyone to waste time on so it just builds up and i sit frustrated my tongue weighing a ton as i sink deeper into these tears begging for scraps with the eyes of a feral […]

rolling through the rose bush in search of something real

everything feels entrenched in thorns a million pinpricks across newborn skin an overdose on electrical nonsense saturating struggling synapses sending an excess voltage to boil the gelatinous nothing overwhelmed and shrieking inside a rotting husk every seven years born again bearing the same scars having learned nothing from the last go around as we go […]

anti-matters of the heart

my brain feels convulsive in the fucking bone prison where all i have is the rebounding apathies bestowed clanging hollowly church bells in a state of derelict neglect cut my thumb so i am leaving little crimson smears as i voice my thoroughly unadulterated frustrations on an unsuspecting moon every letter sends a shiver of […]

adding insult to perjury

i may not always have things like electricity or groceries but i have never been late on my rent once my list of importance goes like this her/the kids a can of tuna for cleo the calico a handful of seed for the sparrows and maintaining a place to hide i don’t need much the […]

the crux of acceptance in lieu of dream

i can’t tell if it is the crickets or the pressure keeping me so far from sleeping but i am laying at the crossroads of a juxtaposed exhaustion staring into the darkness unable to shut down the endless racket mocking my fervent wish for dream to fall into that semi permeable transitive state lost within […]


i cannot fathom these words that were scribbled in electronic ink being carefully driven by needles into another’s flesh the idea that these ugly scabs the remnants of an enforced molting can catch the light just the right way that anyone could mistake them for beautiful permanence is beyond my feeble comprehension these snapshots of […]


please don’t look at me i am not wholely convinced i exist just the vapor condensing on the side of this cup of coffee another ring staining the table

undefined by definition

i am obsessed with words because i believe if i can find the right ones i can finally say all the things lodged in my throat all i do is add to the logjam leaving me forced to hope they shine in my endless adoration when you don’t really believe in anything at all you […]

counting while speeding down the highway

i coil myself around the nib of your quill and understand i still have so far to go to ever truly be a poet. flawless for every wondrous flaw perfecting perfection with each perfectly selected line. it is no wonder you fill my happiest dreams and my every contented sigh carries a trace of your […]


the birds call out this morning as i sit nursing a headache hoping whatever is growing in my hollow skull this phoenix scrabbling within greasy ashes bursts free to soar through azure emptiness and carries my love to her i dreamt of fire which lets me know her heart is beating in rhythm with my […]

five years or six days, it’s all whatever to me

without fanfare, Monday was my fifth year conducting the Manic Word Depot. it also coincided with my 6300th poem. also, unbeknownst to me. that’s weird. anyway, hows that for a testament to madness? (un)tethered comes out in six days, so five years and five collections, seems serendipitous. or coincidental. i could never decipher the currents […]

the right path

you learn quick that while being the better person is the right path when you decide to walk it you’re likely all alone people do not ever stop to consider others so self absorbed they only see themselves as the ones put out so they choose to pass the buck you never know you’re the […]

on and on into the darkness

i imagine it will be days before my body is found eventually work will have to call in a wellness check it isn’t as if it is unusual for me to vanish then i get sick and morbid the reality of solitude settles and i wonder if the cops will be called because of the […]


i feel them giant millipedes clawing scabrously between my squinted eyes and hollow bones tiny claws dipped in a convulsive poison sending ripples through fetid meat tubes inside this monstrosity of dying dreams a manifestation of bottomless despair as a strangling pressure mounting from the inside out a chemical spill piloting a failing spacecraft through […]

angelic agonies

the seraphim slide silver needles to pierce the eardrums of sleeping sinners each subtle vibration from ossicles suspended in an equilibrium defying river sending slivers of pain trying to draw out the foul mouthed demons roaming through these cavernous denials either that or a final summer excursion through sinus infected malaise as the pollen hangs […]

a declaration to begin a week of tireless toil

faded hazel remnants in a sea of innumerable drownings i am lost a lone wave desperate for the shore yet little more than an empty thrall pulled by the slivery moon a solitary speck in an avalanche of weighted declarations a random digit falling farther from the light she so effortlessly shines in theoretical impossibilities […]