i am
a curious case of
human phantom limb syndrome
because long after
i have gone missing
my absence lingers
pins and needles
in the shape of my hand
caressing your
gasping heart

a tumultuous
upbringing combined
with a cornucopia of
mental deficiencies
leads to
a quiet fool
writing and erasing
long heartfelt expulsions
only to delete them
or bury them
in word play to
camouflage the need
so i flutter and fail
in silence
rather than bother
anyone with these thoughts
i cannot tell if
are real or not

these sorrows
a cerulean iceberg
adrift on choppy seas
this love
a suffusion of light
so bright
it mutes the sun
giving every bit of
my sullen extravagance
until this empty vessel
is discarded
on the side of the road
a tumbleweed of
clustered atrocities
a ball of chain lightning
bathed in excruciating wonder
a curious case of
human phantom limb syndrome

an itch your heart
can never scratch