dickensian

it was cold, bitterly so as the wind cut through my shirt i slipped on my jacket to check the mail normally i avoid the mirror, an aversion to seeing the puppy dog eyes staring back at me, a reminder of how long since those lips were kissed, the beard not covering enough of the […]

gray drops under a magenta moon

manic under a magenta moon, the stars in the sky aren’t familiar, can’t get my bearings, baring myself to an alien moon, spilling all of my secrets to another dimension, out of synch she tracks sand into the house, perfect footprints from the back door through the kitchen, the ball of her foot and heel […]

make it last

the time it took me to realize time was exactly what i needed was found too late if patience is a strong point add another weakness to my fractured list of failings so i elected to man the unmanned ship to be the test subject, the crash test dummy, the petri dish, colonized by a […]

whatever

my mind is racing but there is no cohesion to the thoughts like a lightning round of idiocy and insecurities bouncing from disparate to desperate and all points between salivate retaliate procrastination salvation a fine line from confusion to disillusion with a healthy dose of defenestration seven happy heartaches eight offending offers nine and ten […]

succubus

two days in a haze a black cloud of perpetual illness sorrow blanketed me nothing shook the desolation then last night thinking this could be my last i fought against the pull i opened my eyes to find her floating above me claws in my mind fangs dripping poison onto my lips the succubus had […]

another(lost)

so lost without you, i was so lost in you, now all is lost and i don’t know how to find my way, i tried leaving a trail of breadcrumbs but the raven got fat the farther from home i went now i just need to sit a spell, cast a spell, spell your name […]

jars

she set a jar beneath her pillow said it would catch her dreams for a rainy day i held a jar beneath her cheeks in which to catch her fallen tears in hopes of finding a cure we placed a jar beneath our bed to catch the passion as it flowed from our writhing bodies […]

f**cked

of all the hearts offered, the only one i wanted, was one i could never have that is how it works in my world reading declarations of love from the mouth i long to kiss knowing they will never be aimed at me dreaming of things that will never be yet still when i close […]

a womb with a view, act VI – detraction

recalcitrant sorrow, sorry, pleading for relief, begging for forgiveness, crawling on knees leaving awkward steps across the despoiled fabric of ever lasting she owned his heart, his soul, the lone queen in a crown of razors on a throne of broken dreams bloody tears trail down tanned skin, crimson trails of torturous misgivings, her thick […]

numb

i would give anything to feel something other than nothing numb how i dream of you waking alone to an overwhelming sense numb from the moment you grew silent took your gaze away everything went numb i would give anything to feel anything but numb

literary suicide

everytime you turn away i carve another piece of myself in a flaccid attempt at recalling your divine attention it began with occam’s razor down my wrist, the simplest solution seemed likely the best you removed your shoes and stomped the grapes of my wrath into a delicate whine, fermented in casks of anonymity, better […]

whisper to me your sweetest lies, make me feel as if it is real, your hot breath sending chills down my spine as you say all the things i wish were true then fade away like the morning dew, no sign you ever existed, just fade away, a phantom hibiscus, to pollenate another dream, germinate […]

strange

it is strange sometimes i see my words in other places, fall from other lips, inked from someone else’s pen is it the butterfly effect i get a heady sense of deja vu, confusion, discomfort am i the illusionary one, not quite here or were they touched by the same illness that courses through me […]

all night

it was the sillohuette of a raven perched just outside my bedroom window i could feel the beady eyes, intelligent, far more so than any animal has the right to be, staring, judging through the dusty pane of glass my arms were behind my head under the pillow light flickered and danced across the ceiling […]

a womb with a view, act V – deluded

reticent the farther the fallen drift, the more romantic the words sound as they float back from the edge of reticent meanderings all of the stupid things done in vain, they seem so quaint in rose quartz stasis hell is reaching out nothing but the void responds heaven is curling up the void wrapping itself […]

atavastic

strip remove your modern trappings allow me to feast upon your hidden spoils take it all off stand before me proudly displaying all your scars let me run my fingers across every inch of you plumb your depths drink in all of your wonder just strip it bare give it all to me every bit […]

re-entry mark two

it isn’t the re-entry that burned me to a crisp, it wasn’t the sudden in flux of atmosphere, the re-inflation of lungs with combustible gas it was her floating in a capsule with artificial gravity, pills to recreate emotional discourse, freeze dried remains, frozen scenes, moments of loss, trivial words that fell from their sockets […]

a womb with a view, act IV – degradation

fear eight legs in the darkness, the hint of venom on tiny fangs, the ridges of vertebrae in curved repose what moves in the shadows under the bed, in the closet, beneath the sheets the icy hand grips, chokes, gently caressing exposed flesh fear is all in the mind but mindless terror delves deep from […]

a womb with a view, act I – dementia

parenthetical fireworks flare crescent moons burst into acidic tears that shower down upon the open mouthed faces of all who witness the destruction of all they knew to be real the pachyderms strike against the rusted cogs of the machinery, bow ties etched with keroscenic vistas, tremulous eruptions of soot fill open spaces between hypothetical, […]

chestnut

chestnut mare, runs like the wind, mane and tail go flying what do you dream open plains, barley and hay, golden oats that stretch for miles when i was a child they had to put a horse down, it screamed and thrashed in the dusty hay of the freshly mucked stall, the screams echoed into […]

godiva

the steady clop of hooves across the uneven cobblestone streets, echoing through the morning as the sun burns away mist a vision astride a white stallion, draped demurely only in long golden hair, led by a stern figure in black with her eyes cast down godiva, godiva, the wife of the lord, riding nude through […]

flyer

her ability as an escape artist the falling chains picked lock broken hairpin empty safe pulled up from the lake vanishing in a puff of smoke like a ninja no sign she ever existed except for the faintest hint of wildflowers floating faintly above the messy bed she was exactly what you wanted her to […]

roll out the barrels

the sounds of dueling accordians rumble through the walls against all odds like a massacre at a polka championship, blood and lederhosen sprays the walls spilled flagons of dark ale stain the carpet, threabare from rolling out too many barrels the prussians are coming, death glinting in their inebriated eyes, they come for me next

it went quiet

then there was nothing i could hear my heart wheezing as it forced sludge in repetition through corroded vascular nonsense it went quiet the lights went out the room went empty again nothing fills four walls of hell the steady drip of sorrow onto bare chested regret they are gone the rest is meaningless there […]

nice to leave you

i was still caught up in the beginning as she was sketching the grand farewell it became hard to enjoy the small things when they were all blown out of proportion it was a thousand tiny deaths, a game of self mutilation, where the rules were arbitrary at best she called it love i called […]

heard

some people crave attention to keep the demons at bay, company to quiet the voices inside their heads, drown the sorrows me i just scribble them down, give them free reign, let them scream, gnash at the carpet, smear their filth on the walls depression frolics, prances about, rearing it’s ugly head and mugging for […]

conclusionary

i have come to a conclusion this voyage of loneliness, the futile search for someone to share this life of misery with is illusionary the she i have spent far too long looking for is an intangible thing like trying to catch sand with a net, no matter how tightly woven, the particulates are always […]

quicksand

when i was a kid quicksand was the de facto danger be careful where you step it was supposedly everywhere as a teen i took it for granted it was an urban myth the ground was seldom perilous i didn’t understand that it was a metaphor heart bleeding on my sleeve i stomped without a […]

call

i call her friday because she is freedom from the trials of the week i call her july because she is summer and all the joy that sunshine entails i call her though she doesn’t answer my calls i call out to her yet she goes where she will irregardless of my need i call […]

much (grains of sand)

i cannot make much, but i will build you a castle made out of sand, we can hide until the tides sweep us back into sea i cannot give much, but eternal dedication in the form of sloppy words, we can burn them to keep warm in the long lonesome night i can do both […]

why

why of all the swirling doubts that fill the air like mosquitos on a hot june evening sensing sweet nectar the warm pulsing of blood it comes back time and time again why there was a candle in the window of the second story room the light danced sending elongated images of nefarious deeds across […]

brine

the porthole had fogged up due to the storms i rubbed it away peered out into the black sky lightning raced across the sky in great arcs gave brief glances at the frothy waves in one such flash i saw her she seemed to ride a wave towards the ship seaweed colored hair with an […]

be(longing)

the ink of her penned odes to another bleed through the page and stain my heart, it flows through my veins, attacking my marrow, etching her words into the double helix of despair that makes up the flawed being, barely being worthy of being a witness to her brilliance, being less than a human being, […]

book of you

there are shelves of classics all around the bedroom but none that can hold a candle to you works by the greatest poets in history, yet none have even come close to the majesty of you it’s your spine i would like to run my fingers down, your soul i wish to mine the secrets […]

manadillo

the weight of the world crushes down, anxiousness ebbs from the core of my being, compressing, collapsing, a man sized crater all that remains i yearn to become an armadillo halfway there as is a leprous thing, tainting all that come near, eyes glowing in the night, reflecting a light not inherent inside curling into […]

simplicity

everyone of the words was another red hot dagger into his soul. how many more barbs could he stand before finally succumbing to the pain and snuffing the candle himself? a new scar to remind him of how fleeting the old scars were. his flesh more a topographical map of sorrow than that of a […]

changes

i felt the change come over me my joints popped cracked as my limbs took on a whole new shape the pain so intense it crossed a boundary into pleasure of a sort my arms stretched muscles corded knotted up rational thought fades into hunger i forget the pain as my mouth rips grows speech […]

Coming really soon!

pre-orders go live on Friday! Tales of love, depression, blackest of black humor and even a gigantic poem. I’m proud of this collection. There is something in it for nearly everyone. And this is just the beginning. I hope. love me

distance between

if i could pinch the world erase the distance between your heart and mine tear through both space and time just for a moment of your precious time silence kills but distance builds up scar tissue restricts the flow of oxygen collapsed lung bleeding out in a dry riverbed fetid feelings fester help me rip […]

give and take for granted

my head is swimming as the world seems to be filled with need my teeth are shards of glass jammed into bleeding gums, my hands replaced with talons, my heart a wicker basket filled with coals what more can you take, what more can i give, just ask and it is yours just another case […]

wings of time

of all the things lost in the sands of time, fallen to the bottom of the hourglass, buried by incremental entropy you were the hardest to lose on the black wings of the raven, high on thermals above, searching the world below for hidden morsels but you are nowhere to be found the hourglass is […]

(un)titled plea

my blood is on fire my love, it sets the oceans aflame as i let it fall into the water, an open vein sparks the inferno as i seek to summon you back for one more night of feverish need help me make it all go away or burn it to the ground around us […]

fool(ish) pursuits

i sought the most beautiful stone to place upon your finger nothing was ever good enough in my eyes not for you maybe a stone from the riverbed would have been enough smoothed by the ever flowing stream a symbol of my love for you a fallen star set in onyx to show how long […]

(missing)

i gave up your ghost so long ago but it still haunts me in the quiet times spent alone building this house of cards in a hurricane that tastes like your lips feels like your touch across my bare skin why did you have to encapsulate my desire my dream my yearning so goddamned right […]

a visitor

did you know you were in my dream last night after i had thought i was done being possessed by the spirit of your touch yet i closed my eyes and your soft footsteps entered my mind again do you recall how you initiated it you hoped for a night of pleasure but as i […]

so/me

some days are bad days this one is getting worse the butterflies in my stomach are monarchs with razor fangs, the bats in my belfry have gotten into the meth again rancid remains of ridicule the check is late i’m overdue i’m sinking down into the backed up sewers, sliding down into ruin, falling faster […]

lost time

i stood over him, he lay in a heap as the rain fell, his mouth gasped like a bass on the dock for a moment the rain appeared crimson as if the clouds were bleeding as lightning slashed everytime i screamed for help, thunder crashed, drowning out my voice in the booming i closed my […]

selling

selling myself to a world that didn’t want me when i tried to give myself away hide the profits in the marginal dismay of another failing quarter, drawn and quartered, playing quarters for shots of hope in hopelessness drunken anger it isn’t greed, being broke is fine when you have other things to fill the […]

statuesque meanderings

she was still, as if her cloven hoof was encased in amber slowly bubbling up from the ground beneath, topaz highlights in the low light of subterranean strip malls and nail salons glass bones wrapped in copper wire like ganglia, fine rubber hosing threaded carefully, fibrous roots bunched like monocotyledonous musculature covered with brown paper […]

clean

the sheets smell clean, like lilacs and lavender, but i would give anything, for them to smell like you again the milk has gone bad, yellowish fluid, curdled remnants floating in the tainted liquid of yesterday’s fond regrets took the remaining paints and poured them all together, it looked like a wet dream in circular […]

a trip

was thinking of taking a trip. looking around for what to pack when i realized all my baggage is emotional. futility. regret. depression. and a thick coat of compassionate vacancy. luckily i have gotten so good at pushing it down all i need is a carry on. just put on a fresh set of mental […]

ugly

love is an absence an abscess an access panel to nothing unfelt unrepentant unreal unacknowledged unaccepted unpronounced i saw it once oozing down the torn fishnet stocking of a prostitute with morning sickness behind a dumpster her left eye was swollen, when she smiled you could see the scars of life etched into her tattered […]

rot

rotten gourds in the roots of yggdrasil, seeping into all of the realms, split and blackened the aria sounds i stand alone on stage, the spotlight blinds me as i look out on the empty seats in front of me the rot swims, taints my mouth as i open it to sing, the words choke […]

siren

sparkling light calls out in the empty room, will o’wisps dance in the air softly singing voices, odes to love, of escape, lure in the unexpectant fool the sweet smell of flowers, pollen heavy on the breeze, impossible to deny follow us down, follow us down, away from care and worries, where dream is at […]

zen

the air was still, heavy with moisture not yet prepared to fall, tranquility before the storm ever looming all around she stand in pure night, no star nor moon above, nothing reflected off of her ivory skin, her black hair nigh invisible the gentle sound of the rake against the sand, tracing around stone pagodas, […]

my kingdom for a chance

i am the drowned king of a broken kingdom filled with empty gestures fevered dedications painstakingly recreated carved in marble epitaphs for those long dead but never ever forgotten hail hail the drowned king in his kingdom of darkness sitting atop a throne of mummified hearts supping upon the salty tears of lost hopes tossed […]

after

the leaves were the color of a freshly newborn child, that purplish red of a soon to be bruise. the sunlight filtered down and danced upon the ground. a slight breeze tried to blow from the north but sputtered before accomplishing much. i sat with my back against the tree, wondering how it all came […]

hydra

woke up in suddenly freezing abode after nearly eleven hours of fighting dreams, nearly mummified in twisted blankets my knuckles are sore, cracked and bleeding, my muscles are screaming, my voice has gone hoarse from screaming for you there is pomegranate juice spread across my chest, sticky and sweet smelling, the black grit of crawling […]

koi

orange and black koi dart across the shadow dappled pond feast and fuck no thought no sense i feel envious stress overthinking i wonder how… no it is serene in the yin yang pool the water flows gently over the dark black stones bamboo a dragonfly flits between the petals of the yunzhu flowers the […]

needs

i need a nap a warm body to lie next to someone to wake up with someone to love accepting applications email is in my contact yes the door is unlocked

yours

i cannot give you a portion of who i am as we set forth upon these turbulent waves there is no part of me sequestered away if you cannot handle everything good bad indifferent the spectre of forever plays heartily in every subtle movement like a catfish settled into the sediment of the river bottom […]

turned to dust

he stared at his face in the pool of water under the bridge wondering where the young man that used to watch him back went to the one with hopes and dreams the one that searched tirelessly for his missing pieces he had settled into the broken found himself in the loss but he didn’t […]

one

she might not have been the One but she was the one my heart was set upon a simple stroke of the shift key maybe life would have turned out differently the ceiling looks lovely tonight nary a hope left in the darkness

i hope

i hope he made you feel special today, gave you a massage, told you how beautiful you look, made it clear to the world that perfection begins and ends with your smiling face i hope he kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, made your toes curl, made you cum twenty times until you could barely […]

fall in

i fell into my head today and ignored the world outside i fell into my head today because all i wanted was to fall into you i fell into my head today and screamed as the walls closed in i fell into my head because i fell in love knowing it wasn’t mine i fell […]

appleseed

i got a text from eris today the goddess of dischord she was checking in to see how i was doing i had asked for a sign from whichever pantheon was looking over me it makes sense chaos and dischord would be the ones her golden apple has always been special ever since reading robert […]

(man)u(script)

i have spent hours reading my own words was asked for a manuscript filled with my writing for a book of poetry my goddess there is only so much of myself i can handle after a month and a half of insipid lines i may finally snap why do i continue after all of this […]

nerv(ous)

she carved her initials across my brachial plexus so every movement screamed her name seventy millivolts firing her after image flashes i find myself flexing just to see her face

close the door

there was a trail of discarded clothing down the hallway torn and rapidly discarded like a hurricane had blown through a bra hung off the door knob boxers here lace lined panties there a button down shirt sans buttons following the trail of destruction led to an open door muffled moans in quiet night a […]

baron potato blues

it begins with the tinkling keys of a piano softly playing in a smoke filled room her heels clicking across the hardwood floors, the swish of her dress in time with the sway of her hips * he eyes the glass in front of him, runs his finger around the rim of it absently a […]

valentine

i don’t celebrate valentine’s day but i would if you were mine i would buy you a stuffed animal spray it with my cologne so when we are apart it is like i am there everyday would be valentine’s day i already write poems for you just imagine if i could make them come true […]

oaks

we, she and i, speak together like two oak trees, serene, sharing a root system that spreads across the land and time she tells me the truth, unveils the things hidden from my eyes, rattles off mysteries like the voice of delphi from the depths but she is built upon a bed of diamond, beautiful […]

picnic

she asked me to take her to the moon for a picnic i thought about it long and hard it wasn’t difficult to set up the shuttle ride i packed a blanket and some food we held hands as the rocket shuddered and shook earth fell away like a blue marble beneath us when we […]

asunder

twisted into a parody of hr geiger’s nightmare, sexual and dripping malice in scream inducing frozen moments of pleasure and pain my flesh crawls as the muscles in my legs cramp in time to the fight or flight gag reflex that consumes me in this overbearing silence veins stand against too thin skin like worms […]

shadows

the shadows play across the ceiling as i spend night whatever in a row unable to sleep even as my vision grows blurry this pounding in my skull is a nonrefundable debt to the universe for services not yet rendered have you ever felt like maybe it was the end of the world and that […]

as usual

the creak of the chair as the coffee pot spits hot water across the grounds cinnamon fills the air as the birds wake up in the bush right outside the window soon the little bastards will be singing some vapid ode to seed and berry and yarn and stick happily chirping as if the world […]

same room

fear knots my guts terror stricken cold sweat shaking knees * voices in the darkness * she tied a string around my finger a reminder of what is unclear * i remember dying agony convulsing bleeding out on the cold tile of the kitchen floor * there was no bright light no choir of angels […]

clueless

i am clueless when it comes to the opposite sex i don’t know how to play games i don’t assume so unless things are spelled out for me i don’t know what is happening this is why i will die alone

man of my (word)

i am a man of my word but that word is loneliness i built you a castle with my bare hands ignore the fact that it is made out of sand slowly falling apart in the rising tides my last home was a house of cards but without you it was a queen of hearts […]

hoarfrost

her touch was like sunlight through the blinds, after a month of rain the rains have passed, finally, the clouds have taken leave of their claustrophobic grasp upon the land, azure fills in this sudden absence of gray her absence is like hoarfrost on my heart, a coating of ice so pure and biting the […]

unrequited, a collaboration

he spun words into silk for her to drape across her body, he had nothing more to offer her, alas, the words would never be enough there was always someone better, more deft at weaving, more able at stringing turns of phrase into works of art she deserves so the fool did one last act […]

picture book

she has read my entire story, thumbed my pages while writing thoughts into the margins, trying to highlight the underdeveloped good points the spine is cracked on this tale of woe, it is a story old as time, boy is born, is beaten, is broken, is left to his own literary devices as he stumbles […]

analogous

swimming through an ocean of glass in search of the octopus garden darkness closes in, crushing me in the depths of frigid water, what lurks beneath the light line jellyfish bob listlessly tendrils float small silver streaks dart about pull me deeper, drown me in your embrace, free me from these feelings of inadequacy, i […]

translucent arrhythmia

she was the raven circling over my head, the shadow on my heart in the x-ray, the thought that kept sleep at bay, the racing in my pulse it isn’t the voltage that kills you it is the amperage, the arrhythmia translucent in her eyes how many nights did i long to hear her voice, […]

boom(erang)

i can feel the half moons of blood well up on my palms as my oversharp fingernails cut into them shaking fists and throbbing temples is it frustration or simple contemplation, a restoration, an emancipation, a declaration of love that will never be love is a broken boomerang i continue to throw hoping one day […]

VIII

dust devils along the gravel road the sunshine filters into raging grit demons inner and without lashing out into the pale wan light * surreptitious serendipity saline cognition mathematically misused tenderly torn in two x and y harbor hidden doubts that z is planely oblivious * rattling bones hung from the dipping branches of the […]