translucent arrhythmia

she was the raven circling over my head, the shadow on my heart in the x-ray, the thought that kept sleep at bay, the racing in my pulse

it isn’t the voltage that kills you it is the amperage, the arrhythmia translucent in her eyes

how many nights did i long to hear her voice, how many nights did i lay disappointed in a bed of unfulfilled desire

i never said the words i love you out loud, not to her, at least not within earshot, i knew it would be too much for her to handle, i was less than the sum of her dreams

she was the culmination of mine, her every word a poem that reverberated off my ossicles, sent chills down my spine, made the hairs on my arms stand at full attention

my every word was a pothole to be swerved around, she was a professional at car care while i was a jalopy to be ignored on a warm summer day

a bullet to be deflected, an emotion to be rejected, subtle nuances to be injected, my feelings treated as if infected

still i sat waiting for the day my thoughts were worth the electrons they were spit upon

instead i sit on this bench in the cold rain staring at a screen that screams to get up before the illness takes over

her flame flavoring every frame of my worthless existence, unbeguiled by my persistence, ineffectual to her resistance

love is a four letter word for fuck off you idiot when it came dripping off of her tongue, yet i still soaked up the bile as if it was the cure for the poison slowly killing me


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