holidaze in cambodia

there is a magic in dark depression and dead kennedys too loud alone i don’t know if it is the surf rock grooves or the darkly satire dripping on every off key exclamation third wave ska makes my soul quiver with happiness unable to sit still but jello makes me want to burn the entire […]

deflated

the day went by like a helium balloon slowly succumbing to gravity it held the enjoyment of a rock in your shoe there was no sun shining and i would really like a do over or to absently rub your feet as the rest of the world kindly fucks off

a shitty analogy

the blue cooler sits abandoned a wasted existence left empty no purpose there should be untold memories of sloshing ice and shady grass or white sands the ugly fool sits sorrowfully a wasted existence born empty with no purpose staring out at a blue cooler the same shade as the ice encompassing a stillborn heart […]

p(un)chline

i feel like a goddamned punchline to an unfunny rambling narrative of hells and pointless idiocies unnecessary stresses insufficient funds a mental collapse with the addition of a stolen debit card and falling farther behind. i would scream to the heavens but they are fictional as happily ever after and hope.

even the birds seem static

red hot needles distributed through my guts painglitter grafted inside my skull another day without the sun every whisper feels ominous filled with rusted hooks slowly dissolving packets of poison in turgid flows unpoetic apathies sludge and muck fill rubber tubes aspirations evaporated on the steel grate over this confounded steam powered heart. i don’t […]

rotterdammit all

the city of rotterdam was laid to rubble in less than twenty minutes at the beginning of the second world war it is something i spent way too long researching to be barely used in a novel but i can be obsessed possessed and that’s where i found piet blom rotterdam had always been a […]

swirly

my head is too swirly to be of any good today i feel like a werewolf in springtime mid-transformation stricken down by a never setting full moon

a wonderful review

Erik’s review of Hunger I don’t tend to share reviews often, it feels self serving and is. But this one got me, I agree with his criticisms totally. It was what won him over, in particular my favorite scene, that really hit me hard. You don’t know when you are writing something that won’t be […]

thirty dour lines

it’s dreary today the sun hasn’t woken from slumber the clouds promise rains that do not fall a pervasive sense of overwhelmed smothers the quietly screaming city of partially concealed hostilities. even the typically smiling faces hold tight to an undercurrent of dour dismalities that weigh heavily on an already scattered sense of being utterly […]

fearfutility

fear is not an emotion i usually face depression is an old lover anxiety a constant companion sorrow paints my day but fear can usually be broken down into the unessentials even as this icy panic feels less whatever the fuck normal means and more batten down the hatches. certain doors opened that i am […]

weak coffee

the wind whistles through the cracked pane diesel fumes and distorted sirens growing ever closer the engines rumble vibrating through the agonies in calicified thought as the flames dance along sunbeams there is a hesitancy in the skies a sense of senselessness streaming from the vacant adoration in the unblinking orb.

deification fixation

he is a purist an anarcho-eucharist blatant plagarist stealing all the best ideas from various religious texts left on read lost in the annals of revisionist historically unfounded incidental inaccuracies it doesn’t matter who said it originally deification through disneyfication hand drawn sketches by former nazis of das ubermensch aimed at childlike misdirectionary retractions a […]

only thing

the only thing worse than a failed philosopher is an insipid fool with poetic leanings that is also simply a failed philosopher his snapshots of emotional perils out of frame of reference tearstreak filters in anemic lens flare details blurred or obscured by his clumsy thumbs the only thing worse than a poet with his […]

deductive seasoning

there is a tremor shivering along my timid the sound of champagne glasses clinging or the dulcet tones of silver bells sending shimmers through my quicksilver anxieties a horse a cow a herd of slant pupilled goats the smell of fresh hay the snap crack of plastic she beckons me enter wade in the headwaters […]

a hint of crimson

the tinkle of broken glass falling lazily to the floor the sharp gasp as crimson wells a fat droplet slowly sinking into the threads dying the silk a sultry shade of rusted apathy the crunch of glass beneath bare feet leaving a trail from the scene of one crime down the hallway where new sins […]

inherited scars

running down the nascent flesh of infantile dysfunction lies a tangle of inherited scars passed down over generations that never found fulfillment in the trials of a lifetime built out of emotional entanglements. before the first uncertain steps the chemical imbalances given naturally through unnurturing connections that do not transcend the ignobility in puckered skin […]

fresh flesh

disinterring corpses left untouched for far too long revisiting old memories by following the road map etched deep into childhood disavowments i don’t like where i am visiting but i need to find a way to pry these barnacles loose from the fragments of who i very nearly once could have been. not allowing the […]

muted monday

there is an internal struggle against external stimuli wrapped around this compulsion screaming in my skull the world itself is wavering the pressure pushing the center of my skull outwards in the too bright want to be summer sun gleaming down angrily magnified by the fog bank hovering over every thought. i can’t hear the […]

not sure

i don’t know when exactly i started crying i felt that first tear so foreign in it’s familiarity traveling slowly down down down my cheek. i can’t say why with any certainty that i began crying alone on the couch on a sunday afternoon. maybe i am too raw from a bad week. or i […]

a light

light me on fire use the tattered dream clinging to my broken spirit it ignite a nimbus of blue flames like a malformed phoenix rising to leave a greasy smear in the clear skies of your well deserved tomorrows

spun out/duality

stuckin a mentalspin cyclethe worldoutsidelocked intoa dizzyingarray ofblurry linesindistinctionsin incandescencea tumorousexplosionof malignantintentionsself manufacturedintangibilityindecentlyindivisibleon a cellularlevel of staticinductionsstomachlocked firmlyin the uprightback of the throatpositionchoking on eachwordleft unspokensecond guessingthe third tripon the roundaboutlost in thiscircularillogicreplaying everyirreconcilableinsecurityin an effortto obliterateobligationalirrationalities. the coffeedoesn’t have the samekickthis morningsome daysrequireyour tongueand quiveringthighsas the miseryof a universedraped in monofilamentsof agonyfalls awayas our […]

knotted.

feeling frayed along my quivering edges pulses of cold voltage attacking bare nerves nervous but in that nagging everything is falling apart nebulous insidiousness a constant whisper fraught with sullen peril. feeling frayed afraid tattered scattered left afloat on choppy waves searching for the shore or a single beam to guide back the map shows […]

quietly counting sins

there was a certain subterranean secrecy permeating the cold a glistening hope encased in blue ice hints with no substance just the glimmering radiance of the unknown the bells toll sickly echoing in the tower of rotted wood and brick drifting morosely over the small town sleeping the hiss of neon tubes and flutter of […]

heart murmurs in the shape of your smile

i don’t know if you could hear me as i lay half asleep telling you every secret i have ever dreamt declaring myself as yours into the aether between states of waking when i finally fully shook the sleep your name sat sweetly upon my lips as the sparrows sang softly of a fool in […]

foolosophy 102

someone said it is always darkest before dawn which tells me they have never sat in sunlight and felt even more alone in the waking world than sobbing in bed hoping for a small break in this constant torrent of agonized hells microdamnations pummelling them like a thousand spider bites on every inch of their […]

downdowndown

the blood on my knuckles reminds me no matter how insufferable i may have become in the downward spiral my heart still wheezes along despite the weight pulling me downdowndown. how long had it been since we last said we needed to talk more often before we both got busy losing each other in incessant […]

a miserable stain

did i tellyou about the cardinalsi was sittingsipping coffeewhen a flashof crimson dartedpast the windowas i watchedthe femalepoked her beak outfrom a nestcarefully hiddenagainst the wooden planks they reminded meof illinoisthe state bird and allplusit always feltluckywhen i caught a glimpseat the femalei don’t know whymaybe it felt likei knew a secretor she trusted meto […]

noth(i)ng but cracks

carve these eyes from my grinning skull cut off my nose to spite my face take a pound or ten of flesh to satiate the sickness burning you up from within. i cannot be your dream but i can give you everything i am until it arrives. i am nothing if not willing because i […]

closing time

it’s overcast and if i am being honest, which is a fatal flaw i have found, i couldn’t give a good goddamn if it ever stops fucking raining. the ground is dry and maybe just maybe we will get lucky and it will wash me away with the rest of the trash blowing around refusing […]

blahblahblah

i have read countless tales of people that faked their deaths to collect life insurance or as simple as just disappearing always anxious looking over their shoulders for johnny law or someone from back home it sounds nearly as exhausting as how i fake being alive. fucking amateurs. try seeking one single solitary reason to […]

poorly ventilated

ravenous butterflies stuck in a hurricane carniverous heartblossoms draped in antiquity the pilot light lies unlit as fumes make the air in the basement hazy the lone light yellowed incandescence with a shoelace hanging limply he murmurs palindromes into the endless night, i long to be draped in fine white linens laid gently in the […]

downward dog, inward loathing

it is takingmy everyounce ofwillpowernot to tearthosefuckingwind chimesdown and smashthem to bitswhile screaminginchoatelyto the emptyheavenson the neverending winds. my headis packed withmeth addledmutantsfiring neonrocket launcherswhile scrapingkniveson dinnerwareand chewingwith theirmouths agapeflecks ofhalf chewedmeatfly as theybemoan anothereternityin my hell. too soreto sleeptoo tiredto writetoo lostto everhope to befound. and stilltheyclangendlesslya soundthattypicallyfills mewithhappinessbut nowjust mocksmy impossiblyvast fieldof thunderoushoovestreadingcarelesslyoverexposed […]

un(i)mportant

if i filled my pockets with a stone for every time i felt lesser than unimportant that i do not matter the only beings that would notice as i walked into the ocean are the fish i would disturb as i lay down in the silt. a collective sigh of appreciation ringing out from shore […]

hell is a gift given by insomnial radiation

i wrap razor wire around my own hazel insecurities carve out notches for each demon residing in this vessel of saturated pain amethyst flashes in the midst of another insipid breakdown blinded by dream a regurgitated hellscape of lonely nightmares. nothing more than shards of broken stained glass refrains never beautiful never whole a slick […]

perpetual notion

he is a perpetual notion machine of rusted gears. unkempt. undreamt. slowly vanishing into his own insignificant need. dizzy from the constant spinning. looping endlessly never going anywhere. just a smudge on the windshield obscuring the scenic emptiness. the sky is blank above me, a canvas on which to sketch with sunshine the many failings […]

needy little bitch

i need drugs something like a /dimmer switch on over firing synaptical distress/. i need hugs something like her arms wrapped tight around (this torn sack of rusted hooks). i need a {break a moment where} purple doesn’t flare in the dark skies in my skull. i have been a \bad friend\ for a little […]

two cats and too much hitler; a daydream

maybe it’s the sun staying out from behind the clouds or possibly it’s the three and a half hours slept having an effect on my usually faulty wiring possibly it is just you bringing beauty into my frame of insular ugliness i don’t know but the words are screaming today as i drive from building […]

loving you from a parking garage in dallas

it is probably ten degrees cooler in the shadows of this concrete behemoth off of main street in downtown dallas cold chills from the trapped winds cut through my hoodie run fingers down my spine as the slabs shimmy with every slow moving car that rolls by staring suspiciously at me surrounded by parts trying […]

seeking loss

sipping lethe in an effort to eradicate these images that dance behind fluttering eyelids seeking short term memory loss in the flood of all the hopeless incidental thoughts that carry the scent of cold winds disturbing the fresh green on the branches shivering in morning sun spring has sprung even as lady winter clings in […]

purgatory is the space between

heaven lies within her gently parted lips on the curve of her spine sprinkled liberally down her thighs behind her knees along thr arch of her foot pooled between her petals and resting between her breasts. hell spills forth from my needy tongue seeking salvation between lines of prose carefully inscribed on all of her […]

7:21, nothing of significance to report

the thunder rumbled at 7:21 there was nothing significant about that but i looked up saw lightning flash and as the thunder rumbled looked at the time sometimes moments are poetry others are just forgotten lost between stimuli like thunder at 7:21 on a rainy march evening unable to think as this frantic need for […]

hi.

i’m going to grab your ass right before i die so no one says i went out like a gentleman. not me. fully erect staring into the reaper’s hood with my best come hither stare. now kiss me just like the fucking world is ending because your breath can’t take itself.

hyperbolically indifferent

is it hyperbolic if my mind only deals in absolutes? depending on which side of the polar which side of the ache, which role i was assigned by the reader’s unbidden fantasy a caricature half drawn. i deal in absolutes because anything between can and will be used against me. i am a mirage no […]

rivers of red

shattered every mirror hidden reflections unattractive except when i bleed a freakshow oddity spitting into the wind complaining about the rain. the crimson runs down my ugliness attracting horseflies seeking easy game in between spasmodic convulsions of poetic emptiness. when you close your eyes i am the only thing that ceases to exist an afterimage […]

intent

my head is filled with thunder need coffee or a cordless drill to release the demons. the blinds closed the world outside nonexistent except for chatter easily ignored. except for one incessant staccato chirp like an alarm sounding over and over and over and over until finally i stagger over turn the rod open the […]

i am the void.

poetry is a gateway to fucking up your life, it seems my story gets more pathetic with every lie put to meter every word carved out of this infinite sadness that is more real than any succor in the bosom of creation zero validation cathartic only in the way the focus shifts to dissect unravel […]

maybe, just maybe

i can teach you the finer points of third wave ska you can teach me how to function with as a human you can be my faery tale hero i can be your empty suit of armor piecing this puzzle in trial and terror you can stretch your lovely hands into my chest massage the […]

cryogenic dysmorphia

there is a pall that hovers over sundays a sense of my own existence ending put back into cryogenic sleep again relegated to popsicle status for weeks the silence screams in a way the chatter doesn’t empty apartment empty head of hopelessness

spring cleaning, or a celebration of light

i don’t knowhow long ithad beensince i cleanedthe glass doorsleadingto the smallfenced inslab of concretewhere my newsparrow friendslike tocongregatehow manyassortedemotionalbreakdownsdid that grimeprotectmy neighborsfrom witnessinghow manyfevered kissesstolenfrom damselsthat ended upleaving mein distresshow many poemswrittenwith a view ofan obscuredlandscapefiltering overthe words. it is oddhow witha small effortall becameso clearas the coffeesteams upand the birdscock their headswaitingfor the […]

(un)seen

the unseen forces intangibles tangling quasars photonic frenzies cosmic dust formedreformedformless existential horrors in infrared ecstasies ultraviolet highlights at the edge of mental stability crested majesties in crystalized redundancies relegated to rust dried crimson stains marring occam’s razor skipping over the incorporeal stubble on the clockface ever tick tocking an avalanche of grains making sand […]

all moons w/EC

the moon hung slender a curved fang stabbing hungrily at the restless waves Sometimes we cross dead ends like cherry blossoms in the wind and wonder why we end up in empty space without any warning. Trying to light flames of regret or burning anger in hopes we can feel our way out of the […]

golden whispers of longing

do you hear them? if you cock your head can you hear the symphony of sparrows greeting the day? chittering whistles on a cool morning as the sun i had lost hope in seeing again breaks the roofline to flood the room banish the darkness a soft caress on sleep starved cheeks but a sign […]

Mona Seethes

“He sat at his desk, jowls quivering in rage.” “What are you doing?” “He glared at his former best friend with ill intent.” “Mona. What the fuck. You are still my best friend.” “He shouted at her, face flushed a deep shade of crimson. Ripples dancing across his porcine body.” “Fine. I do not care.” […]

purple lights

random lightning flares in the recesses of my mind jagged purple against the darkness always resting just behind my eyes the cost of the words that pulse in every misfired synapse a fair trade to see such beauty even if i lack the skills to paint it if you could see things through my personal […]

soulshatter kaleidoscope

she manages to see me at my worst and makes me better as my soulshatter kaleidoscope casts shadows on the scarred rusted bars of the prison in which my broken holds my heart hostage. she takes my poetic and my ugly in equal measure with a smile that lets me know it will all be […]

repetitive chaos

my crazy likes structure repetitive actions for the last five years it has been the same thousand or so songs on my ipod coffee in the morning clockwork poetry writing sessions in empty parking lots routine. the coffee remained canned on this cold friday morn my ipod won’t hold a charge trusted friends became outright […]

a prayer for unbrewed beans

the coffee maker died without a sound no gurgling gasp just a flashing light and no percolation. the morning feels too goddamned impossible to comprehend with no sleep a burgeoning clusterbomb resting in a band around my skull and no coffee to greet the sun. as the things i cannot control scream at me of […]

foolosophy 101

in life, we get what we get. it is what we give that matters. it tends to get forgotten in the day to day. or we give in to expectations feeling cheated when things don’t go how we wanted. grow bitter scorned. ignoring the happiness all around. then again who the fuck am i to […]

pity

you cannot control how people perceive the world cannot comprehend the way they will twist things in an effort to make them seem virtuous all you can do is live your truth and as you smile watch those that frown and sigh to find the ones that were never truly your friends to begin with […]

moon eyed whimsy

haunted by the ghost of yesterday’s moon pregnant over this valley of discontent unwilling unable to let go as azure winds the sliver strives to maintain vigilance over a waking world where dreamslurry ill tidings threaten to drown the weak diffusion between solar flares white hot passion and promises made under lunar waves of sublime […]

a story has been posted to the Patreon

Manic Patreon has a story posted. it is one i am quite pleased with, which is a rarity for me. a few patrons have already reached out and expressed their enjoyment. i don’t enjoy shilling, but it is what it is. i write, patrons read and pay a little a month, and i can pay […]

mute dawn

the mute dawn spitefully shines down over dissipating apparitions of lost loves hazy recollections sorrowful spirits still seeking to haunt the broken down temple of cardiac disenchantment. nothing more than a desultory approximation hollowed.hallowed a composite primary lesson in decreation of art in the midst of subtle self desecration. deafened under the mute dawn buried […]

alternating

alternating between social distortion and kyuss so i cannot tell if i am broken hearted in need of a fix or driving through the desert with a demon in the passenger seat as hell rains down. either way seems alright as the traffic never slows on the concrete arteries feeding the wasteland around me. maybe […]

morning service

i was baptized in her every tear as we lay bathed in longing reborn under the scrutiny of the unloved watching our every move. kissing as the moon blushes peony petals on the breeze her lips the sacrament filling my effervescent sinpools within bruised smiles lips tingling her breath my hymnal.

the world is gray, my arms crave you

feel too ugly to write pretty today. the coffee doesn’t work. my head is stuffed with fire ants. the birds are stuck in a constant three note regression. like me. i woke whispered my love to the aether as the sun slept above a blanket of gray. i am tired of feeling so very much […]

misery leeches

people love youwhen they cancommiseratewith your pain. but findhappiness? that’s whenthe realityof who they arecomes to the forefront. in sorrowthere is acommon denominatora conflagrationof similarsadnessthat speaksa universal truth; in joyjealousiesoverridethe false emotionalconnectionleading to themwondering whythe happinessisn’t theirsas well. friends celebrateyour successesand lend a shoulderin defeatbut these falsehoodsin miserable approxinationof sympatheticcompatriotscast dispersionsinsinuatebecause they cannotsimply relateto anythingexcept […]

sonic imprint

some songs take me back to another time in another world so vividly i could momentarily smell her perfume as my nostrils flared it was three in the morning witching hour fittingly enough when i heard a tap tapping on my window brief dreams of poe and ravens instead a vision of beauty to which […]

d(un)g

some people try to be better some wallow alone in a haze of pain some strive to find purpose seeking to beautify a world of ugliness. some are just sacks of shit staining whomever they come into contact with. petty little people with dead little hearts that inflict petty little agonies on those they already […]

dst

for two hours last night i was an hour closer to her my heart yelled trying desperately to get her attention then the daylight was saved and she was further away all that lingered in the spring air was my frantic i love you

the sun sets later, my need never rests

a case of incidentally accelerated entropy falling to pieces at the speed of broken hearted miseries racing along the neon highways across dessicated daydreams in monofilament mistreatment as prescribed by the general tactioner the gradual practitioner of factual transgressors in the crystalline chamber of nondescript actualities. (iamtryingtotellyou theferventneedtokissyou isoverridingsurvival instinctsasnothingelse seemsrealinthishaze ofcatastrophiclonging) trapped in a […]

3 card migraine

buried beneath an avalanche of ocular obsolescence he didn’t know when it first became an apparent abhorrence but every deck of cards he ever bought came with fifty one jokers yet never a solitary queen of hearts ill suited to gambling as a negative balance prevents the hope of fiscal dexterity just tired of paper […]

happiness vultures

gathering up the remains shattered souldander to fill the forge an iron maiden with white hot spikes to cast a less broken image of ache a stained glass persona splitting the light into a paradoxical prism of colors undreamt in shades of heartthistle as the emotional refuse simmers in molten dissonance my mind lingers on […]

electricity for insomniacs 101

all electricity wants is to go home it doesn’t matter the mindless goal is to get to ground a lightning bolt doesn’t care it is not mindful of obstructions if you are between it and the home it seeks you become collateral damage on a smaller scale the electricity is herded controlled sent through one […]

truths

she played at pious to cover her insidious truth. hollow souled a bird bone behemoth incapable of feeling anything but pretending to understand it all. her sense of self an itchy blanket she drapes over everything making herself the hero the victim of every tale told. so self centered she imposes her fatal flaws on […]

discarded yet not forgotten

she found his heart thumping in the open dumpster took it inside cleaned it up tried to determine if there was any worth in the wheezing organ. it was found to be lacking (re)discarded thrown out in frustration when it didn’t conform to her expectations. in the silence the music it made between straining deflated […]

wet dog and stale smoke

he leans against the building unmindful of the rain scowling at the brown grass as he puffs the cigarette and watches his dog scout for the perfect place to shit we are cordial neighborly i don’t know his name or that of his ankle biting yipping little shit machine but i nod to which he […]

waking slowly

he sits as the chimes softly play predawn serenades the coffee untouched as the sky turns to steel over the buildings around him half dressed half awake half consumed by the silence punctuated by snatches of birdsong and the rumble of idling cars calling for the sun. lost in thought in translation in transition in […]

schismspasmsundering

i get overstimulated after a podcast my insides are electrified my brain won’t stop screaming anxiety’s (bi)polar opposite unintended consequences in these semi-suicidal tendencies, running full force into self-destruction it is exhausting saying the things out loud i only have to think typically. besides her i don’t like talking to, well, everyone. i go inside […]

upscale graffiti w/EC

Her tangled limbs of no regret touch your kiss and slip between your pages, her tarnished metal lockbox fills with hearts and bones and pieces of planets. his jigsaw psyche of earnest affections fill the pen marks you scratch carefully, his insatiable need flows into the lock tickling tumblers to the universe inside. She carefully […]

Podcast tonight

Butterflies Make Me Angry tonight at 7pm CST. Chris Miller and the Fool join Sam and Chad Cloud-Miller to discuss Cerberus and Splatterpunk Awards and more. Probably. It should be fun. Love me

another about birds and highways

the mockingbird has heard me utter her name in sift benediction that i hear it in the causeway cawing it into the howling winds until all i hear is my heart in my head and her glow rattling around my chest cavity of dessicated organic failures crammed tightly into the silver barred birdcage with the […]

mor(n)ing

i find itcomfortingwhen i wakein the middleof the nightto tasteyour nameon my lips. i hear yourvoice echoin my dreamswith a comfortthat soothesmy fracturedsmoothes overthe broken. the world seemsto take joyin crushingsouls to dustbut you keepthe void at bayeven when it singsso very sweetly. that’s enoughfor mein a realitythat only ever takesyou replenishthe flames neededto keep […]

mood

a mood has settledupon my shouldersand i don’t thinki care for it at allpissy and angrythe wind keeps blowingthe chimes clangthe neighbor doghowls incessantlythe cars are too loudthe moon is too brightand my head feels filledwith broken shards ofevery happy momentthat seem so far away. this goddamned moodsettled upon my achingfiberglass insulationwrapped around my chestand […]

(un)

glittering diamonds ebon blanket of velvety darkness i cannot tell if it is infinity screaming profanities at me as i smile like a goddamned idiot unfazed unphased unphrased unpoetic just a steaming pile of word vomit on the side of the road leading absolutely fucking nowhere. so much of my day is spent just lost. […]

devil and crows

the devil keepsleaving me messagesasking when i willfinally make mytriumphant entrance. i leave his messageson readas my heart and soulalready belong to her. the sparrows knowas do the crows thatfollow meblack winged companionsthat know the wayof thingsglaring overthe gray cityfilled with brokenhearts and shatteredhopesthat this damned onehas suffered enough.

too loud too early

the car started with a flatulent whine that did little to make anyone listening feel calm even the birds stopped and glared with cocked heads at the terrible commotion as the sun hid behind clouds. i just watch it through the open blinds sipping my last cup of coffee as i put on my doc’s […]

choking

choking onfreedomsin place ofhaving foodas they taxthe air andthe waterfilling upcoffers ofill gottenricheshastily extractedfrom groundup dreamsthe ashes ofthe middle classtwist in thebreeze as thewhips crackon the bare fleshof the poor.

tragedy in gray

everything is diffused in gray lending a sort of apocalyptical in the best of purgatorial air to a solemn mourning. the crows have all lined along the roofs of the neighboring buildings to stare baleful disinterest from too intelligent beady black orbs. i whisper my love and zip the hoodie as a chill runs its […]

i see her wonder and weep

just beneaththe shimmering surfaceshines a soft pinkas the scent ofwildflowers carriesheavy on the frozenbreeze she is a clusterof peonies interlacedwith wrought ironstronger in her suppledelicacy than thediamonds her smilefar outshines even now she laughsdismissively at my notfar fetched claimsas my heart thundersher name in every spasmingbeat of longingto rest in her divinity in that soft […]

tonight, Cerberus roars

Horror Talk Podcast tonight, at i believe around 9pm CST, Chris Miller and the Fool will talk Cerberus, awards, and likely spiral inappropriately for an hour or so. i’ve been on this podcast a few times, Jesse is great as a host and i have always had fun. hope you do as well of you […]

tip

no matter the words that fall from my mouth to squirm in half life at the edge of non-essential being i love you seem to be the only ones that form correctly even if my insecurities keep them mostly frozen on the tip of my tongue

i close my eyes and count to infinity

i close my eyes only to find i am the only thing that vanishes as if i was never truly here unnoticed by the world at large. tearing pieces off my tissue paper soul to flutter in the breeze of apathetic insufficiency a shadow where once a man stood shivering in inconsequentialities. i close my […]

herd immunity

i am fascinated by kashmiri saffron the delicate purple flowers the strands of red the dry lands at the feet of the himalayas the struggles with global warming. whole cultures have been radically altered as the world changes around them for all of our technological leaps we seem to fall farther behind at being human […]

fried

fried.sizzling brainsvacantchoppy wavesslappingmy empty skull.fried. i wrotea novelthat took meto a verydark place. she shinedher lighton me to keep me safe. but itlingersunder myskinetched onmy bones. i cannotfullyshake it. i have been coldfor weeksdeep downmarrow frozenshiveringin theafternoon sun. i amfriedand theentireworldexcept for heris soveryveryugly. just like me.

suspension

the power of my glare keeps the ceiling suspended just like my disbelief floating in the air all the hidden scenes interspaces within the textured cage a zygote ensconced in eggshell whimsies am i a realization sorrow in actualization just a mass of tumors twisted around fractured spinally etched columns filled with poisons a cadaverous […]

Cerberus Podcast Tour!

in an effort at shameless self promotion to push our book, Cerberus Rising, and it’s nominations for Best Anthology and Best Short Story, An Incident at Barrow Farm (by me, which is crazy and unbelievable still) for Splatterpunk Awards, Chris and I will be hitting the podcast trail. Monday night we are joining Jesse Deadman […]

terminal w/EC

in the misty mornings of incomprehensible sorrows calculating inifinities eagerly seeking the right combination that leads to her heart They loved in midnight blues and should have known betters. They parked in dreams and whittled sentences into sorrowful sounds. They covered the horror of everyday things with fairytale kisses and found beauty at their fingertips. […]

leonine glare

i take my painamplify ituntil it burnswhite hotuntil it burnsits way intothe aether luckilythere has neverbeena shortageto mine i let itnearlykill mekept itcagedbehind deadbrown eyes humpty dumptythe foolfilled withangry hornetsfinally fellone time too manyand all of hisinsignificancespilled overthe dirty alleyadjacent tosuicidal daydreams now all iknow to dois let the agonyleakstaining the worldin lavender lightninga pebblein […]