blahblahblah

i have read
countless tales
of people
that faked
their deaths
to collect
life insurance
or as simple as
just disappearing
always anxious
looking over
their shoulders
for
johnny law
or someone
from back home
it sounds
nearly
as exhausting
as how i
fake being
alive.

fucking
amateurs.

try seeking
one
single
solitary
reason
to get out of bed
staring
at the ceiling
as every
errant thought
has dragged
across
the whetstone
where a
heart
once beat
to slice
a paperthin
sense of self
to bits.

i am not
afraid
of someone
recognizing me
i welcome
the validation
that i still
exist
because
there are days
when i
am not sure
if i am real
or just a
figment
in the minds
of the readers
putting themselves
in these
words
unbidden.

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