i close my eyes and count to infinity

i close my eyes
only to find
i am the only thing
that vanishes
as if i was
never truly here
unnoticed by the
world at large.

tearing pieces off
my tissue paper soul
to flutter in the
breeze of apathetic
insufficiency
a shadow where once
a man stood shivering
in inconsequentialities.

i close my eyes
and all that remains
is her smile
burnt deep into
the gelatinous soup
sloshing in my skull
until i cannot tell
which is the afterimage.

i am unvisible
to the naked eye
a series of missed
connections
left to flounder alone
in the icy muck
hoping hypothermia
fills my emptiness.

i close my eyes
knowing i am all
that vanishes
in the darkness
a rusted allusion
in failed metaphor
an anchor where
a heart once beat.

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