i don’t celebrate valentine’s day
but i would
if you were mine
i would buy you a stuffed animal
spray it with my cologne
so when we are apart
it is like i am there
everyday
would be valentine’s day
i already
write poems for you
just imagine
if i could make them
come true
i would try
everyday
i wish i could ask you
to be my valentine
then
it wouldn’t be
just another day
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Funny(ish) story: my second Valentine’s Day with my ex-husband, he bought me chocolates and a gold ring with diamonds in it.
It’s a funny story because I am allergic to gold (which he knew) and I don’t like diamonds (which he also knew). At least the chocolates were good. I would periodically pull out the ring and wear it until my finger would start bleeding again. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s the thought that counts, right? RIGHT??!!
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Wow. I don’t like any of those things.
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I know.
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Don’t worry, Mike. I wouldn’t buy you chocolate gold or diamonds.
Oh wait… I DID get chocolate that one time, didn’t I?? Damn it! No, wait, that was supposed to be an ironic joke.
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Hahaha. I would be easy if anyone was dumb enough to love me. I like silver. And caramel.
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I always say I’m a cheap date! Yes, I too love silver. That’s what my wedding band was, actually. I’m not into the typical “girly” things, for the most part. I mean, I don’t like puppies or kittens, gems or gold or traditional jewelry, expensive food, wine, fancy clothes, or getting my hair or nails done. I DO love cooking for other people though.
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hhhmmm… that will be our date, you write me a poem and I’ll cook you dinner.
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I would LOVE poetry written about/to me. Over a stuffed animal and sneezy cologne any day 😉
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I think between the lovely poem and the hilarious comments this one wins Valentine Post of the day award. You get a cookie.
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I’ll even share with River.
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Awww sweet
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Really sweet Michael. Nice one 👍🏻
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🤣
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Okay, okay- fine! But no spooning.
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Everytime it is my turn to be little spoon you check out. Every single time.
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You never ask me how my day was.
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Oh. Great. It’s this shit again. I cook. I clean. I take care if the house while you go out and galavant. God forgive I think about me one time.
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You’re just like your father.
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Right. You’re right. Happy? Yet again, Saint fucking River is correct. Let’s throw a parade. Call the newspaper and give them a quote.
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I hope you are happy. You’ve just ruined another god-damned holiday. Happy fuckin’ Valentine’s Day.
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So. No flowers? Fuck me.
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I don’t even know who you are anymore.
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Me either.
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Well, nice to meet you. I’m nobody.
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no. You’re my everything. That’s why it hurts so much
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Your everything is nothing. It all makes sense now. I forgive you.
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Well that one hit a little too close to home. Ouch.
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It’s all fun and games till someone puts an eye out.
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That is truth. Then it becomes hilarious.
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This whole comment thread just reinforces my opinion that we should bever do a podcast together. I wonder how many different platforms we could get banned from?
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Let’s find out. I bet we would have quite the following. Your charm and wit, and me.
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It’s all about the bald head, man.
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It is all I have going for me.
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You can’t quantify the value of a bald head.
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Judging by poems of love, a bald head is a deterrent.
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It can’t be any more of a deterrent than my personality.
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This is what is going to make us unstoppable. I’ll be your Cyrano.
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Why do you get to be Cyrano?
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I’ve always wanted to have a big nose.
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I can see the merit in that. I love smelling stuff.
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Awww this is quite gooey…. It’s like reading from a Valentine’s Day card. Sweet mate!
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Gooey? I am not gooey. I’m a bloky bloke
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Sure sure 🤣🤣
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