i tried

in the darkness
as sleep teases
just behind
nail pierced eyes
i contemplate
the proper composition
for suicide notes
as based on
the level of
depressive solitude
crushing across
my broken soul
in tectonic deviations

some are flowery
pining bits of fluff
extolling the virtues
of all kept just
at arm’s length
during a tumultuous
pantomimed existence

there are those
cut with rusted strands
of razor wire
in gore strewn statements
of condemnation
licked by hellfire
an unending flow
detailing the rage of
being pummeled with
every shaking step
punchdrunk and spitting
bloody teeth at a world
that never cared

the apology
to those loved ones
that will for a brief moment
feel a pang
an echo of the loss
of one that was always
there yet had fallen
to an oft forgotten
occasional nostalgia

notes carefully cut
from magazines
to give the impression
something more insidious
than giving and giving
until finally
just giving up
because there was
nothing else to give

but in my head
the only thing necessary
is a tear stained scrap
a fitting return
for all that was received
with two simple words
in scribbled ink
can simply say it all


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