contradictory diction

the sparrows sat
staring at me
as if confused
by my sudden
reappearance
i smiled from the
couch as i stirred
the first of many
cups of coffee
and told them all
about the trip north

they seemed curious
being nonmigratory
the concept of going
anywhere but here
is an exotic image
new destinations
and false expectations
they listened happily
to tales of eagles
circling high above
roads carved through
mountainous terrain
and were oddly pleased
that i did not speak
to any other birds

it felt good to return
to a routine that binds
my anxiety in place
to hide in my cave
even if my vision is
blurry and the nettles
across my scalp sting
because the sparrows are
happy and she is there
and anything i could
possibly complain about
pales in the face of
simple joys in this
manufactured world of
miniscule agonies

the talking turned
to the clusterbomb
detonating in my head
to her, the true subject
they care about most,
the wildflowers in
her perfect smile
and the way her love
keeps me grounded yet
gives me the ability
to fly without wings
they hopped and nodded
and one by one flew off
to tell the others
the fool is back home
miserable yet smiling
a contradiction in
semi poetic diction

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