duality of singular pains

i handfeed the bite that
frees me, freely biting
the hand that bleeds me,
confused or concussed,
indistinguishable from
various contusions from
variable beatings brought
on by familiar familial
phalanges, brandishing
the mental scars from one
too many one too manys

a famished fool flailing
frantically, feigning
fatalistic flaws forgoing
forging forgiveness for
finding fleeting false fame

when she shines her gaze
over my huddled fetal form
the clouds part and the
sun shines for the first
time in too many days spent
in the dark of self imposed
sleepy time unconsciousness
an ever evolving oroboros of
nightmare scenarios in
pastel shades of childish
lackadaisical misimaginings
seeking definitions to words
no one has spoken aloud
biting the hands that offer
succor before they can strike
a snarling mockery in shades
of ill aligned refinement
illiminated by the soft glow
of unparalleled adoaration

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