she warned me
not to let the nihilism
take too much hold
at the edge of oblivion
her words kept me
from willfully falling
a tether to terra firma
when the call was too much

until her silence
mirrored the abyss

a cessation
of acknowledging
the forested facade
for the inevitability
of slamming face first
into the petrified remains
of splintered reality

drowning in the knowledge
nothing holds any meaning
nor hint of permanence
in a world of willful delusion

the difference between
seeing it all for what it is
and allowing yourself
incremental falsehoods
with which to face existence
became one spinning plate
too many for a flailing fool

she showed me hope
could strike the tinder
lighting a tempest of fireflies
to guide lost souls through
the interminable shadow where
living and being alive
are not the same sentiment

how do you find the light
when there is nothing left
to initiate the spark

i have been drowning
for so long
my lungs distrust
the very air
ny every cell craves