it would be
more acceptable
to have remained
solitary
rather than find
like minded people
who turned away
without a word

the loneliness
is manageable
it is the betrayal
that grinds me down
disappointment in
myself for not seeing
the truth of things
before it fell apart

people ask why
i stopped going to
conventions
i grew tired of
being a photo op
for people who then
spend the remainder
of the year acting
as if i don’t exist

i just occasionally
miss the people
they led me to believe
they were over who
they really ended up being
i won’t feed your ego
and i won’t be your tool
so kindly go fuck yourself
hope you got whatever
it was you wanted