The last couple posts have been rather depressing. Probably because life has been pretty depressing. I am so far down rock bottom is inviting just for the breeze. 

But I am high as fuck. Numb for the first time in days. It barely hurts to breathe. 

So let’s talk. Easy Breezy.

I love feeling fuzzy like this. Everything slows down . The jumble is less jumbled. A little. Still all over the place but I can stop and enjoy the view a bit more.

This is me in a nutshell. Why I love the things I do not let myself have. Why I did not fill the scrip of pain pills. Or drink. I don’t want to be too comfortable. 

Every time I get comfortable it falls apart. 

Nope. Depressing.

Sometimes I tell stories in my head to pass the time. The ongoing drama nowadays is about a mid level office worker in hell. it amuses me to no end. I do not know the voice to write it out. One day. 

Maybe it is just for me.

I want to be happy. I do. Maybe I was just not made for it. 

Earlier today I talked with a lady. I was not doing well. So she had me stare at the ceiling as she lay on the roof and we pretended to watch the stars together. It was so strange and sweet. She was gentle and playful. 

It was probably less weird than it sounds. It made me happy. Fuck off.

Once upon a time we were out drinking. A lot of my stories begin this way. I had a really good time when booze was added. I may have been a drunken asshole. Tomato potato.

Lost track of that. Sorry. Not sorry.

I remember the second time I hung out with my sister we dropped acid and watched Wizard of Oz to Dark Side of the Moon. it was pretty fucking awesome. Another time we did acid and hung out in Rock Island. That was pretty cool too. I like acid. Miss it. Would love to do some now. Maybe not now now. but soon. 

See. I can be less depressing. Just takes drugs. Let’s not dwell on the real meaning behind that. Not tonight.