clarity in clarification

i didn’t know
i was crazy
for the longest time
i just thought
everyone
felt everything
as painfully
as i always have

thank the silence
that wasn’t true

knowing i am
a bipolar mess
doesn’t make it
feel any less
intense
it just lets me know
it is choppy waves
and the sky is
(probably)
not really falling

this gnarled ball
of rusted razor wire
wrapped around
my churning guts
anxiety and depression
isn’t real
(it is)
but it is hard to tell
which hell is real
and which imagined
in the depths of madness

i developed a callus
from doing everything
in my power
to prevent others
from feeling like me
only to realize
they never did
things i tore myself up over
were blips
barely recognized
in their day to day

but i didn’t know
i was crazy
for the longest time
i thought
everything was fine
as the flames licked
frantically across the ceiling

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