my mustache needs trimmed the hairs wriggle cockroach legs against my lip when i take a drink time is wobbly i forget my porthole needs maintenance there is a rough approximation in my head of what likely look like this iteration needs a solid fucking trim

the sparrows seem triumphant as winter relaxes her suffocating hold over texas perhaps the warmth will melt this frigid anxiety gripping my entire being the lack of skepticism in the sparrow’s song celebrating a suffusion of sun highlights the fragility in spiderwebs of hope

a semisentient cloud of static in desperate need of being held of given a form before stuttering out of existence a faint scorchmark where nothing ever was there to begin with still i manage in a feeble last gasp to sputtermutterstutter into the gaping maw within and without wheezing odes to dessicatint on the vine […]

the sluice of hot water courses down my failing form a murky pool of gray from the pancake make-up rendering a tired clown back into the invisible man only beaded droplets expose my nudeness to an otherwise indifferent chilled oblivion i call home time to lay in the darkness haunted and empty an abandoned house […]

the word are still stuck in the back of my fucking throat a goddamned hornet’s nest stinging my tongue rendering me utterly speechless as the fog rolls in

the trees scaborous things asparagus stalks gone to seed grasping at the fog the hands of dead dreamers floating in the swollen bayous of southeastern arkansas choking the light refracted upon a million droplets hovering between a fool and home the music doesn’t seem to go loud enough to drown out the goddamned words so […]

i can’t tell if it is an accumulation of the ever falling rain or this deep seated loneliness weighing so very heavily around my aching fucking heart but despite random breakdowns to rival the storms outside nothing eases it there is no escape just a constant drizzle against the stained glass heartdander cathedral three hundred […]

my mental state is on par with the state of the sheets on the hotel bed after a night of spinning in place running from figments and certain truths only to end up knotted thoroughly drenched while longing for home as temporary in misguided permanence as hope or love

day four where the rains fall in half frozen agony over flooded arkansas leaving a tired fool soaked to the skin with days to go before finally getting to go home once again the typical transiecne of the hotel life allows an expansion upon buried plotlines where the lack of familiarity allows them to propagate […]

dismal morning in a goddamned hotel room in the middle of nowhere the perfect place for a forgotten fool with no career just empty support and broken promises as the trucks rumble incessantly through the night

indistinct rectangles occasional flashing red lights the semis whip up a constant accumulation of the persnickety percipitation and i drive white knuckled riding the edge of panic in a tsunami threatening to wash me off the highway into the muddy creek roaring between the lanes from an oversaturation of wintry rain in an abundance of […]

the car is packed route is planned anxiety screaming hotel is booked and i sit impatient waiting for the store to open to grab the last necessary item before driving to arkansas for a week of hell it will not be bad but i cannot convince myself of this yet the joys of having my […]

aflame with desires left to smolder unfulfilled this phoenix returns slightly lesser each morning which dawns over emptiness and a pile of ash billowing to the unstrained melody of longing lost in whispered prayers during a thunderstorm

it all seems quite pointless and somehow more difficult daily which is fine if you signed up for all of this extravagance in middling returns i did not however still it feels like this line for a refund never seems to go fucking anywhere at all perhaps the entire works is broken no matter how […]

it is impossible to rationalize if the roads are wobbling or if my mercurial polarities have the entirety of existence in lockstep with the magma core of insanity each new day dawns with the realization just how much there is i have zero comprehension of and despite my best attempts the more i learn the […]

it isn’t a case of being uncomfortable in my own skin as much as it is an inherent dislike brought on by years of life showing just how little i mean in the day to day misanthropy screaming from being self aware if you translated all my semi poetic ramblings into ones and zeros you […]

no airplanes circling nor any cars driving past i listen for the sparrows yet the world outside is silent except for the occasional bumping of chimes sending lonesome notes shivering to fill the vacancy left by the cold drinking coffee and trying to shed the wisps lingering from frozen dreams where you were in my […]

sadness settles over the sleeping city with a chilled serenity typically reserved for the giving up or the already dead the wind chimes send soft notes drifting over the accumulation of frozen dreamdander to ring like forgotten church bells signaling a fresh set of prayers destined to go unanswered i wrote our initials in the […]

tremors run down my spiderweb soul anxieties plucked freshly as winter drapes her pale arms to keep me cold on the long weekend spent alone watching crystals form a chaotic latticework slowly consuming the gray world just beyond my reach every other song reminds me of playing in the ashes where love once burned away […]

someone pull the emergency brake i need off of this rollercoaster of impending doom

his vellum soul tattered from being folded and unfolded tear streaked and torn from years of seeking answers in the incomprehensible shallows of the heart for which it once offered navigation before accumulated scars turned a simple map into a congruence of disparate sorrows carved in the crescent smiles gone to tears etched hastily along […]

the first of two cold fronts snap and snarl promising treacherous conditions ahead between a road trip back to arkansas and the same faulty grid which left me without power or heat for over eighty hours the last time winter decided to assert her dominance over the lone star state part of me wants the […]

the wind slicesicy daggers drawinglines of crimsonhoarfrost maskingthe exhaustion onthe face of theenergizer idiotdrifting across thefrozen heart of texas an unhealthy balanceof pills to lift meand pills to bring meback down again withincomprehensible sadnesspelting down in sharpcrystals of icy disdain it is one thing whenmy brain scream out howi will never be enoughit doesn’t help […]

hours spent white knuckled as the rain made everything a manic blur down the flooded corridor between magnolia and a fool needing to desperately hide from the panic rising as his true standing is shown as the waters drag him under five hours driving following indistinct blurs trundling slowly toward home knowing i am the […]

the screamingand sirensmade the eveningin magnoliaright about whati expectedafter four and a halfhours of drivingthrough bayouswhere the treesline the highwaybrown stalks ofasparagus goneto seed leavingstripes of darknesswhich no matterhow fast i drovefelt like a strobekeeping me in placelosing ground evenas the miles tick up now it is coldthe rains which threatenedfinally releasedas i ponder the […]

falling in upon myself ravenous yet always unfulfilled

it’s cold i feel like a flyer flapping on a tar covered telephone pole as the wind tears around the staple keeping me fitfully in place soon just another piece of trash stuck against a fence after briefly flying free before the inevitable crash

i wonder if thunderclouds feel anxious crackling with primordial rage swollen with recirculated tears gnashing to explode all the resentment built up over a lifetime of being chosen second if chosen at all or maybe i am just projecting save the scholars a little bit of pointless conjecture

arc to ground arc to ground arc to ground arctogroundarctogroundarctoground i sputter going nowhere at the speed of thought arc to ground

no resolutions no need for fresh carrots the fetid husk wobbling always just ahead of shaking hands still seems to do the job enough maybe someone who doesn’t just say the right things but actually fucking does them