the reemergence of winter thrusting suddenly from the loose soil of a grave she gave no consent to be interred in conjunction with diatribes on the futility of hope as parlayed by half paralyzed pariahs pantomiming perjuring priests leaves a fool tepid perched upon the precipitous pleas in prehensile pandering thereisnolight intheperpetualgray she was a […]

i never knew if it was worse being disappointed or hurt as a child my father would say he wasn’t angry just disappointed and it was infintely worse to me but now after a lifetime of disappointment this latest act just hurts which is definitely worse

so easily disavowed disemboweled by self evident half truths kindleddwindled rekindledspindled thenleftinahaze i have become so lost i am convinced i am exactly where i was supposed to be in a dream a sparrow had for me confounded by insidious illness draped in drugs while raging alone inthehollowedoutcorpse ofthebeautifulestofintentions leftsallowshallowand quitemorose my soulshatter dementias best […]

i am so empty i swallow marbles to listen as they rattle down my mechanical innards watching as i am slowly redacted from those i cherished

spent the last six months ignoring the sparrows as they tap at the glass squatting in the stoop staring at a fool who has nothing to add to the cacophony in curious whistles the insistent clamor the court insistent on being addressed by the mad king curled in a ball with fingers in his ears […]

poetry is my confessional because i cannot imagine anyone reading (my)poetry on purpose at moments like now when i am truly at the end of my rope oscilating poletopole exhaustedbroken with lapses just too short to fall asleep failing to escape even mometarily from this existence as the sun drops from view leaving harsh bruising […]

the consistencyof the pressureleaves a foolhalf rendered ina loading statesomewhere amongsttransient hellssesrching for aprior save insavorier situations we put so muchvalue on diamondswhen all they dois look lovelywhen the carbonfrom which it wasunduly pulverizedserves so many uses i harbor no delusionsmy structure willbecome a crystallineformation of beautynot every shale isdestined to become a gemsome are […]

concentric circles carefully etched in ashes a zen garden in the remains of shattered wonder in a roughly human shaped bit of malfeasance i drag the bamboo rake across soulshatter reveries carving furrows in ancient glyphs seeking some sort of salvation in ashen remnants fearful of finding an ember still burning knowing i am not […]

at home in the loam a network of fungal tendrils interconnecting the root network of the forest into an underground communication hub in botanical distress the granite bones reverberate a series of signals in chemical blossoms erupting in the sacred shifting soulsoil tectonic tremors tell tales of bubbling magma crying for the purity in pangaean […]

give a man enough hope and he will hang himself after slowly picking apart the fibers and fashioning a fetching noose.

the angry faces screaming out against Indoctrination in the classrooms are only upset over the indoctrination carrying bits of unfortunate reality it wasn’t until after i graduated and began reading about history myself where i finally understood the term whitewashing wasn’t just about glossing over certain truths these so called patriots prefer to believe after […]

i have no doubt somewhere in the infinite ever expanding cosmos a similar one in a billion errant electrical arc hit the right pool of basic amino acids sending a rapturous cascading in nascent lifeforms the assumption humanity is singular speaks more to ego based ignorance my fear is those alien life forms making contact […]

rows upon rows dominoes placed with shaking hands i tiptoe barefoot between black lines littering each open space as the windchimes bang an everspiraling orchestral accompaniment to my shuddering pulse one day i shall unceremoniously collapse and send these trails clattering around my still form to spell an incantation of perpetual sorrows unleashing a swarm […]

after so many it wasn’t mes i came to realize it was me seeking things of which i had no purpose trying to find the evidence showed it wasn’t meant for me i have always been alone except for the sparrows and the constant anxieties which fill the room with chaotic buzzing and discordant trills […]

happy birthday, dad been literal lifetimes since we spoke not counting dreams or moments at the brink of falling apart every single day some lesson learned from you blows in on a drunken breeze and makes me smile gone, but not forgotten a case of beer and a carton of smokes sit with a bottle […]

it isn’t unbearable just unending a consistent throbbing from the pressure so incessant in my sinuses it colors the world in hues of solemn pleas for momentary peace from constant aching unheard or ignored i continue on

been dealing with a nasty sinus infection for a few days now leeching all will with each new wave of pain a last tender kiss as winter slithers back to watch petulantly while warmth suffuses a struggling fool each day seems prepared with all new set backs displayed mockingly as the sparrows happily sing songs […]

i dont mean to be guarded it’s just these inherited scars turn open into defensive with an ease i wish i could scrub off barnacles dragging against the wind racing nowhere at the speed of her disinterest

we all occupy the hero designation in our own tale but if you have to ask why it seems inordinately stacked against you at every single turn there is a chance you are an asshole and not the entirety of existence is out to make you suffer humanity has become solipsistic to the point of […]

she left a patina on my brasswork heart a greenish smear in the shape of her smile etched onto my aorta where every beat catches momentary when my eyes cannot find her light in the long darkness where a fool long blinded by the penumbra he existed sporadically in around the absence she once effortlessly […]

i am so good at reading the currents i can break my own heart days before you get around to it i can only imagine the true solitude of the soothsayer

she taught me a poem was never truly done nowistand {waiting} inthepregnant ·pause· ofherabsence (nevercontent) afoolconstantlyretooling

there is a mood swelling upon my tongue an anticipation a lingering fruition perhaps i know not yet it tastes like a fresh beginning the rattling pulse cascading senseless scents into sensory overload i despise it nascent hope blossoming in peculiar strands i cannot decipher reabused anew of the nonsensical notions of momentary notoriety recycling […]

the sparrows singa note of hopefulnesstrilling acrossthe sunlit streetsso familiar yetoff settling as irecompartmentalizethe exhaustion fromtravel and discomfortfrom the ill fittingflesh suit draped uponmy anxious skeleton i am okay for nowfound the tunnel outfrom the pervasive darkeyes locked on the horizonfor more salient solutionsto self inflicted woesi miss you terriblybut it is what it iswhile […]

too long spent insubstantial another tumbleweed blowing across north texas plains somewhere around downtown dallas i found myself untethered from my corporeal form a haphazardly stacked somewhat human shaped hill of pixels slowly dissociating from the concrete tombs glaring down around me it is unexplainable hovering above yourself at ninety miles an hour in a […]

there are multiple mirrors in the hotel room i cannot seem to be able to escape seeing me the beard is unruly i look vaguely despotish as if formulating the end of the bourgeoisie or even worse than that a fucking halfbaked poet dimestore philosophy dropout espousing barely cognizant refrains of the greats as strained […]

even though we both know tomorrow is a ponzi scheme by big chocolate and the cartoon heart factories i hope he shows you just how absolutely fucking perfect you are he kisses you until your toes curl and reminds you the date is meaningless the joy is life spent loving you you deserve it each […]

clenched teeth in my sleep the night before two hundred miles needs driven to awake to a combination of insipid hammers driving silver nails into hazel discombobulation as a fool drives through the frigid rain to spend the week in a hotel in texarkana spent the weekend lounging with the kids ignoring the words thrumming […]

winter broke for the past couple days letting warmth once more infuse my tepid soulmurmurs but the gray overwrought dreariness settles insufferably a lead blanket lined with dread as the forecast for a traveling fool looks to dip down into winter once more i have become nigh indecipherable to myself the walls i could wriggle […]

understanding secretive self sabotage is a fundamental building block of my tandem bpds yet being surprised each and every time i ruin something new seems superfluous yet unavoidable i get manic then pick apart all the shimmering pixels until the floor falls out beneath me because life taught me selffulfilling prophecies are part and parcel […]

two hundred miles to texarkana this morning only to drive another two hundred miles to get back home again sometime this afternoon i hope the hawks are feeling peckish so i can watch them hover on thermals gliding in circles seeking movement in the overgrowth spread in shades of brown across the fetid plains as […]

anxiety is a persnickety mistress as she murmurs to leave little things until they become mountainous rather than vole related obstructions easy handled

there is a shimmering uncertainty ensconcing the universe and despite the various order enforced upon abstracts anyone who claims any understanding is as deluded as a poet who still believes in love this mercurial shitshow of savage indifferences is a hopeless endeavor mewling for scraps behind an overflowing dumpster in the backalley of a denounced […]

each and everyword she whisperedwas reticulatedwith hidden meaningdripping with venomwhich left smokingpits along the truthwhich she masterfullydanced the edges of in the silencei trail my fingersover each distortionseeking the wordsshe infused withany actual meaningfinding only moreinaccuracies whereemotional investmentwas rumored to exist

everything issometimes sooverwhelmingly everything in such a way life becomes a series of papercuts down my tattered souldanderdreamlonging still i pound my fist against the red button labeled falsely emergency stop a plastic placebo placating panic long enough for one deep breath before the next wave washes over

painfully loud slammed by reverberations confined inside a bone sarcophagus echoed screeches highlighting the dichotomy where velvety voices scream nightterrors through the hollows in this calamitously packed meat prison percolating pockets of carefully cultivated rot i was never real a simulacrum forged from the incessantly listless longing left overly refracted in fractured flailings the decimals […]

i meant to write yesterday yet the words never came a recurring theme they percolate then wither or withdraw as a fool screams inside his mind unaware the world constantly spins regardless of participation i am falling behind failing trying to rewind but every stop seems shrouded in heartache