the rain which washed away the power for days threatens yet again the seasons have shifted now winter who once began to nestle in in october sullenly visits in january and the rains which were at home in the spring drunkenly stumble in months overdue the world shifts while a bipolar fool shuffles along uncertain […]

the power returned for two glorious hours a tease a taste a tantalizing glimpse into modern civility but like all sweet dreams it was not meant to last too long now i sit scribbling by candlelight a true poet in rustic repose by that i mean sullen and morose lamenting amenities of a far gone […]

i woke to quickly decide after hearing the storms to go back to sleep again but the alarm had different ideas so i stumbled into the kitchen to make coffee and as the last drops percolated the universe chuckled wryly as the power went out so i sit sipping coffee as puncutations of rumbling thunder […]

the windows covered in condensation as the sun rises prepared to incinerate any and every single thing in the roiling avarice of the flame a trail of ashen reminders cling to the melting waffle grid as i roam this incidental accident a fool hiding amongst the herd of blank eyes lost in consumption

digging through dimly lit denials trying to shake the dreamdander delusions draped over my tired mind the only time she soeaks to me is when i linger just above sleep yet nowhere near full wakefulness the subtle pining of a heart drunk on sleep deprivation

a sense of detachment similar to god’s retina leaves me incapable of seeing any glimmer of truth just blurred images easily mistaken for hope in this cacophony of silent screaming facelessandtraceless bombarded by billions of ancillary illusions deludedandintruded i carve smiley faces on my eyelids so dissociation seems a pleasant confusion the ticktickticking of the […]

adrift no more mooring just hints of flame fireflies turned to ash where ropes once kept me tethered fluent in self shibari from tracing the knots inside my labyrinthian hell of a mind my fingers disrupt my wake making any attempt to triangulate my location before the sharks follow pink foam as a fool slowly […]

i scream you scream we all scream for answers and the void fluctuates menacingly aloof no hint of a ripple to justify existence i spread this miasmal semipoetic wailing like bird shit spreads the wildflowers a necessary ugliness to reaffirm all the splendiferous beauty in swaying blooms amongst the billowing trash a snowglobe of urban […]

i am used to standing in storms my heart has always been a lightning rod while my brain is in a constant flux of high and low patterns leaving me uncertain at the best of times you cannot hope to control the weather chaos is beyond the keen of mortals we just ride from one […]

i have spent my entire life without the understanding i cannot fly throwing myself off of every single ledge needing to soar yet always always always crashing and each time i get back up and prepare to leap into forever i do not consider if i will succeed the burning need to prove to the […]

these desires the longings which drive my foolish pursuit for that which doesn’t exist for someone as broken as me fuel the words which inevitably remain ignored yet doggedly still i chase my tail only to be infuriated when teeth finds flesh my disposable heart beats itself to death while my mind replays how i […]

the smiling faces covered in paint and gore happily milling about amongst monsters and famous killers while a fool roams in a haze of psilocybin even less certain of what is real around him a family of hillbillies in skin masks singing country roads with an accordian and a crowd in front of three corpses […]

i dislike crowds almost as much as i dislike any attention and the beginning of convention season is not lost on me as a horror i put myself through a bipolar poet trying to sell words to rabid horror fans when the true horror is existence itself a nihilist wrapped in ugly metaphors screaming emotions […]

the thunder shakes the concrete slabs of the darkened parking garage each vehicle frantically entering to avoid the inevitable incoming deluge bounces a fool as pent up as the gray delusion washing over an infinity of sunlit refractions the panther growls a fury of incessant need as it stalks among iron gray wisps i await […]

i am patient able to wait out the storms to troubleshoot complex systems to write epics i have zero patience when apps which are meant to streamline things do nothing but complicate what should be simple my work computer killed itself from the utter boredom of sitting on standby waiting for brief moments of use […]

a whirlwind of pins and needles i long to know how it feels to wake without the sullen serenade whispering sickly impossibilities into my broken brain a dour drenching of dire doubtful details overlaid on a perfectly average sunny day ever shifting poles and a mind determined to maintain a course of superb self destruction […]

awoke to a world gone still the city sits silent leaving a fool with no distractions from the inner voice screaming in the hollow bone cathedral of hope gone feral a lack of elasticity leaves me stretched out across the floor incapable of pulling myself into a semblance of functional assaulted by self evident truths […]

even when things seem at their worst consistency keeps the cycles from looping out of control but lately the only constant has been change a new position with a new vehicle new responsibilities yet the anxieties are all too familiar while screaming in a new way which pummels me anew i can accept it when […]

i ruined my mother’s life when she was just seventeen so what came next was likely not fully my fault even if it sure feels like it every single day

momentarily i miss you so much every single cell screams unanimously in acrimonious agony causing each star to pause. it all stops just your smile carved into my heart the same as my fingernails cut into my palms as i squeeze harderandharder pause. i don’t know when the you you were became the you you […]

the loneliness can sometimes feel so goddamned crippling yet the world outside is so fucking anxiety inducing a whirlwind filled with razorblades constantly slashing i tamp down need turn the music up a whole lot louder to let it drown out dream let them say all the things choking my every single breath it’s cheaper […]

i have taken to wearing a watch in an effort to become less reliant upon constantly checking my phone an interesting side effect is hearing what should be a consistent tick once per second through bipolar senses moments exist where i am stranded between ticks able to navigate the whole of the cosmos surf photons […]

call after call offering benefits i am not old enough to qualify for by robot voices who connect unerringly to adam in an indian call center filled with adams calling to make sure i am fully covered i have to answer the calls i receive anyone could be a customer calling and since i am […]

i have spent all my life chasing aspects which have no true existence outside yellowed philosophy tomes there is nothing but words to make up for a lack of substance no gods or love just another episode spent screaming until only blood comes out so when i say this tired runs six feet deep it’s […]

if an apple a day keeps the doctor away would a quart of holy water keep my demons at bay for a few minutes or is that just more wishful thinking i can’t tell if i am here or if i am dissociating into another realm being antisocial to the media which overly consumes the […]

bombarded by photons i am just an isotope in degradation electron displacement as my shells oscillate in time with nuclear dismay my mitochondria locked in full meltdown inadequate power giogi apparatuses gone dark as pixel perfect deception in denial details a crumbling infrastructure based in destructive distractions

the wind blows my ashes in an apology tour across the globe revisiting hearts which found nothing in the mirage resting in a fool’s delusion i am sorry i wasn’t enough even if i kept banging the drum announcing my myriad of flaws the illusion when the cycles mesh leads to moments of clarity in […]

i don’t belong herethereoranywhere and it is exhausting trying to pretend today i am too fucking tired to even try none of my performative masks seem to fit so pretending is off the docket i think i will hide until this passes or i do god willing and the creek don’t rise an end is […]

the fan mocks me oscillating spinning so very quickly yet never quite spinning out perhaps it is me have i become no more than a motor set with broken gears capable of only stuttering motions going nowhereatall incidental sparks dyingalone it takes moreandmore when all i have is less to give pitted bones from harvesting […]

the rain drops fall in calamaitous drops which slam against the windshield i stare at them calculating chaos as the insipid liquid creates distortions ohscuring the gray the only thought keeping me moving in the deluge of chilly bombardments is it has to fucking end eventually whether i mean the storm, the week or this […]

if failure were a competition i would be undefeated in consistency of defeat a feat unrivaled in the history of all mankind the unkind men are quick to remind i don’t believe in bad luck because without a glimpse of good it feels like another ponzi scheme

my circadian rhythms play like a one man band having a seizure as he falls down a spiral staircase wheezing profanities into the harmonica strapped to my mouth i am a human(ish) dreamcatcher stuck in prismatic decline each new year i begin to fear my best days are now far behind me yet each new […]

surfing high voltage is a tricky endeavor especially when you’re strapped to a lightning bolt simply by waking up it is disconcerting opening your eyes and immediately everything is already too fucking much of everything all at once i sizzle from ground point to ground point seeking to simply go to earth where it is […]