i hearthe clicking ofthe geiger counterpicking up onthe radioactivetoxicitythe foul presencea pained staindesperatelycombing throughpoetic refrainsa recombinantmicrobialstrainseeking somesalvationscreamingin solitude the magnetic polesin societalpsychosisare notpositiveandnegativebut oscillating wavesalternating betweenschadenfreude andfreudenschadewhere empathy isweaponziedalligator tearswater thesebarren plotsensuringonlyresentmentcan take root parasiticclustersclinging tothenarcissisticnotionthey deserve anythingbut contempt foractionsperpetratedadrift in delusionsifting similesseekingsecretsignsthelinesareforthemparlaying vanityinvaccuousvictimhoodadejectedregressioninrejectedobsession

after years of sodden trips down 281 now seeing stephenville in the sunlight i prefer the dreary rain over the rundown facade glowering undisguised by roiling gray not like i have any room to judge i am still rather ugly in the dark and the sunlight doesn’t do me any favors at all i cannot […]

blame it on the good drugs racing through my veins or blame it on how my subconscious taking the wheel (reread, evidence aspresentedpreviously of the rip roaring muchneededmentalrefresh psychedelicsurge) says more when the razor finds flesh for cuttingwideopen thesethingsmanicme cannotappreciatein the fucking moment blame it on aninstancebroken whereisaidallthethings screaminginlowercase so small choking me yet i […]

slipslding an incongruence of angles in an absurdity of atomic disarray manglingamalgamations maligingintentions a case of channeling threads of technicolor silk entanglingantiquity in a confounding series of shapes intended to convey basicmimicryinto works of art am i pretty pretty enough can you lick my scars taste the cancerous fucking rot blossoming in putridpinwheels errant sparks […]

the words shiverromantically a jittery highhat as my heart lays the downbeat a driving baseline ofbasicbassline inacceleratedpulse chasing down the lines tinkling ivorybonesintoa discombobulating percolation in manic whimsies the beat slows assimilatingintrospection into a lingering longing as random thoughts splash into a staccato double bass pulling the melody intoacacophonistic interlude to the anarchisticurgings buried in […]

urination rehydration mastication defecation concentration assimilation nosensation deterioration meditation masturbation intoxication sleepdeprivation repetitioninsubmission divisionthroughderision dreams are rancid nests wherewonderwiltsandfesters

i don’t drink anything except water and coffee finally understanding hydration really is the key to not feeling like hammered shit but i miss a variety of flavors so i settled on carbonated water with a hint of flavor to satiate the cravings no more apt metaphor for growing old exists quite the same as […]

another parking lot waiting for a delivery while the world wobbles a mournful dirge missed my calling in life should have forsook words for masonry as i erect emotional walls water tight all around my quixotic wheezing heart the sparrows sing joyously elevator music on the sheer drop straight to hell

i ignore the incessant buzzing of the mosquito flying around my aching head knowing it may be annoying as it tries to draw blood but the sheer desperation in its desire is based on the knowledge it has such a shortshelflife bothersome in the moment yet easily forgotten an arrogant denial born of simple truth

autumn hasfallenyet summerrefuses tounclench herclaws the leaveslong witheredincapable ofthe vibrancyin decay and i feelmuch the same a wizened fruitdesperatelyclinging tothe apatheticbranch knowing thefallwill do farmore thanleave a bruise swaying onthe fetid breezecarrying dieselfumes like notesof perfume just needeverything tostop beingeverything allthe fuckingtime autumn fallsinto summer’s shadowa folly offailing parts

they implanted this nebulous fear an insidious mistrust through misinformation a flurry of fiction obscuring all fact we have to defend ourselves from “them” an ill defined wave of boogeymen who are coming to take what is allegedly ours “they” will rape all of our women as “they” steal our jobs “they” are a threat […]

everyone is screaming while no one bothers to listen at all yelling out the talking points which agree with their personal political stance uncaring if any of it is the truth it doesn’t have to be we have abandoned any semblance to rational now it is about who can yell the loudest until either violence […]

reality keeps dealing blunt force trauma and i feel overly concussed as black spots erupt in my vision and the walls close in around me a metallic tang across my tongue like licking batteries whenever the weight of fucking everything magnifies and coalesces around my wheezing heart if i could have one superpower i would […]

no one is doing anything as they rapidly unravel the flag pulling on threads to dismantle basic freedoms while propagating fear mongering to keep everyone off balance silencing any who dare disagree with a tangerine tinted would be dictator offering up sacrificial lambs to turn the public away from the truth weaponizing the media to […]

brittle overexposedunderdeveloped swollen with a flurry offuriousfeelings unable to speak desperate to unload confounded inanimpotence ofoversaturated instabilities mymindhasbecome a run on sentence ofsputteringsentience a veritable variance inlanguishinglies as i vibrate in my own lack of substance formingfibonaccispirals intheaccumulatedtrash no matter how deeply i burrow down into the silt there is no escaping the goddamned attention […]

once i wanted to be what she was looking for but it wasn’t in either of our natures to pretend but i wish it could’ve been me whom she wanted anyway as long as i remind myself it is okay to only dream i know for a few moments before sleep it isn’t so badbeingalone […]

the love of people watching is tempered by a disinterest in interaction i can’t imagine a world where anyone is even remotely interested in anything i have to contribute but more compelling than seeing them in their native environments is watching as they expose far more in the electric zoo of social media the constant […]

the thought of interacting with anyone repulses me or more aptly i am fully unable to imagine anyone willingly interacting with my repulsiveness why would they an ugly old man whose only minor consistency is in falling apart a mentally ill idiot savant in relation to words with little else of societal value drunkenly stumbling […]

sour liquor and stale cigarettes along with a few garish neon lights assaulted the senses as i stepped from the sunshine day into a convalescent home for the lost souls desperate to numb it all growing up there was an ashtray in every room fancy crystal looking things most memorable from when my mother struck […]

there is an elasticity to this anxiety which keeps me steady bouncing in place a toxicity in recursive lines of grammar rays giving eerything agarishgreentint an irregular hum dischordiant tones howlingareverberation across an insolent afternoonofelgaicdecline i spin a faulty compass guiding a failing form farther and further from familiarity a phony symphony offarcicalfragments flagellating facts […]

slept too close to the surface where dream swirls around reality unable to tell in which state i was floundering as i staggered forward toward a familiar sense of insecurity ignoring the calls of indistinct childhood fears in a shadowy world slowly consuming hazy daylight colors running downdowndown the sodden facades of faded homes a […]

a lonely dirigible hovering over the wreckage of another town sailing upon the ever blowing currents above an irradiated collection of best intentions what remains of civilization little more than scattered debris swirling about still he soars a seed of hope on a tempest born of hopelessness searching through the empty land where freedom meant […]

my heart beat sends shockwaves rustling the sheets as i lay staring at the ceiling i fear the vibrations will send the walls crumbling down all around me this insatiable sense of longing pulverizing the cage of ribs into ivory splinters only her embrace can drive those bone fragments deep through the offending organincessantlybeating sleepless […]

tearing pieces off of this loaf of day old bread to leave a trail through the forest ofdessicateddreams all while pretending to ignore the row of hopping sparrows peckpeckpeckingaway any hint of a path to find home once more the sunlit vistas of a larger than life world of possibilities slowly darken as age exposes […]

a silken web clings across the doorway a fat black bundle of mosquitomurder waits ever so patiently for the telltale vibrations of asquirmingsnack asananorexicmoon slices the dark a fool lays still in the same lunar slasher night tugging the threads ofthelonglanguishing indescribablenextnovel where the end seems to be so clear while theroadisevershifting and the act […]

there is a constant vigilance in remaining mostly oblivious when i pay too close of attention to mostly anything i pick apart the pixels unwittingly exposing the glimmering code functioning beneath if it isn’t questioned the minor discrepancies can remain mostly ignored aberrations not rules but once seen nothing can ever truly be unseen empirical […]

writing fiction takes a toll on me as i contort my brain into the scenes and the emotions they need to convey if i cannot feel the weight of the moment how can i ever expect the reader to be swept away writing poetry gives a brief peace as i spill out the knots in […]

can’t tell if it is loud exhaust or thunder or if i am actually awake on the couch as subsonic vibrations rattle another goddamned poem loose it’s become impossible to tell if i am spiraling upwarddownwardinward or simply in place i just know i am dizzy and i have wanted off this fucking ride for […]

distractions increasethefractures while keeping the sheep at oneanother’sthroats it has become another dark comedy of escalating events feeble attempts at rewriting the rules while trying to maintain a lead over the law sacrificial lambs led to the offal pits of public opinion while the bastards pretend to be shocked a ready supply of lone gunmen […]

electrons painstakingly detail the derailment in my train of thoughtlessness a man was murdered by the same means he so vehemently defended and is branded a martyr while a woman was killed three weeks prior and was greetedbyacricketchoir and i just feel numb spent like a shell casing in an empty school hall i don’t […]

so sleepy yet the words decompose odes asthemaggotsfeast i follow broken stares down these fights of fancy bindedbytheblight blindfolded with blandages which distastefullymisplace anytraceofritesgonewrong curtailingcurtaincalls with one more round of intangiblerectangles to reinforce instability i tap the screen tap taptaptap taptaptap yet nothing makes cents just fashions a deeper stateofdebtandregret indivisiblederision in refractory periods as […]

a dash of demure lies before she suddenly dematerealized infrontofmydesensiteyes i could sea right through leavingnothingtobemist but a vague scents oflatesummerloss notes of heat andfadedpromises lingeringlightly on the diseasedbreeze blowing from the vowls of hll the sun is blinding refracted off the ash covering the windshield shaking hands tapping the steering wheel as the city […]

the familiar confines of home feel more confining tonight as i vibrate at the speed of crushing despair in mania minor the sky is overcast with no north star to guide me from the precipice of emotionaldissonance as my thoughts reverberate in rancorousrancidity the no vacancy sign sputters eerily as i hastily hammer plywood over […]

the hotel room seems haunted by more than just a manic fool there is a ticktickticking like a ghostly geiger counter as i lay alone on a too big bed wondering if there is a reactor leak at the dairy queen while the air conditioner gurgles phlegmily like a deep one rising at dunwich harbor […]

someone derisivelycalled me a liberal claiming to understand mypointofview i added the derisively the only thing liberal about me is the amount of disdain i have for career politicians i want the entire establishment to burn and then to stand holding a baseball bat with rusted spikes around the ashes ready to beat whatever hellish […]

i didn’t expect much heading to longview on a sleepy sunday afternoon and still longview left me already longing for home the bearded hotel clerk expounding on the need for a card in case of incidentals explained the costliness of towels and washclothes ad nauseum leading me to question why anyone would have such a […]

i have had to accept the fact though i somehow managed to spin a cocoon and liquefy myself knowing i never was a model caterpillar always incapable of catering to whims i never quiteiunderstood nor being a pillar ofanycommunity yet unable to becomeanythingmore thaninconsequential this probably wasn’t what my parents imagined i would grow into […]

her smile echoed corpselightdesires inducing a delicious corporeal torpor in sublime sanguination draining me of everylastthought my anemic will tested her lips like heartthistle accentuatingaorticaneurysms sapphire asphyxiation illuminatedinlunacy abloodfeastforabloodmoon luxuratinginlackadaisicallaments as i spasm a marionette entangledininvisiblerazorwires a reduction in rigorous denial stapling missing posters to crooked telephone poles all around this sinkhole rolling in broken […]

someonesomewhere has read my scribbles whichfeelsabsurd and a touch obscene imaginingallthese times spent talkingtomyself has been seen through someone else’s personal filter oscuring already half intelligible thoughts into disparate dreamwhispers hard to fathom willingly plumbing thesedarkdepressingdepths without a guide i trace the scars leftbyherhoarfrostedlips then recite back the reverberations of delectablepainshivers into terse lines wroughtfromtheagonyofknowing […]

i don’t often question my particular poisons just let them enslave me there are enough anxietyinducing incidentalhorrors anauralassaultagainst any hope of easing unwantedexistential crisisescrashing like raindrops in an illinois autumn fuzzy guitars scratches and boom bap beautiful women unapproachablepetiteand whollyuninterested a good solid indica and no clear indicator of where i am headed except headfirst […]