i used to feel the compulsion to document my every breakdown in lowercase dismay but tearing off the many scabs became a symptom all of its own now i keep the beauty i see selfishly inside rather than scream into the void where nothing seemed to matter used to dream one day the words would […]

it’s chilly cool enough that her tongue slowly licking the underside of my throbbing desire before making it all vanish in her inferno consumes me

if i had a nickel for every time i have daydreamt of running my tongue from the arch of her foot up her shapely legs to bury it in the ocean of her longing i would have enough to retire happily as she does her best to grind the beard off of my glistening face […]

these supposed writers with their fragile egos have no idea just how pathetic they really are puffed up pissants pretending to be purveyors of art simple shitstains in pedantic prose creating drama to stay relevant in a world so sick of the same tired blame shift the best thing about my particular broken nature is […]

the day began with the same storms from overnight transitioning into clear blue like a second morning in the afternoon a discombobulation of sudden sunlight shattering the pleasant gray malaise

the emotional predators no longer need to stalk prey this interconnected world has become so lonely they simply have to wait until the next victim hops into the boat on their own willingly blind for the chance to feel anything in a digital facsimile like watching a car crash in slow motion as the victims […]

i woke by rolling over a hiting my head on the wall and as i lay here unable to drift off i feel profoundly glad my literary heroes didnt have social media sylvia vague posting about her husband while posting gardening and cooking tips with a cold despondency old hank only posts celene quotes at […]

if the sinus pressure increases when they cremate my shriveled remains they will find a diamond skull among the bone fragments a crystal clear reminder of a fool beholden to beauty which was hidden in layers of agony antibiotics dance in a bipolar biosphere i cannot tell if the sun has risen or if it […]

a crudescent haze follows just out of sight behind me as i stroll through an inconsolable day of rigid anxiety i long to escape the doldrums of wasting the day in indentured servitude to landlords and bosses burning up with ideas and too run down to scribble them out enslaved to creativity yet engulfed in […]

little people with extraordinarily large unwarranted egos seem to demand all eyes on them at every opportunity whether it is good or bad they need attention to give them satisfaction they insert themselves into any situation expounding their self perceived virtues incapable of seeing they are impotent stains life is difficult enough without these annoyances […]

a long weekend drifts into a short week where everything still needs accomplished and a fool longs for another six hours lost in dream instead it is a twenty mile drive which takes an hour to possibly complete a service call her writhing the sheets crumpled between her fingers as i complete a masterpiece in […]

i expected her to run away instead she smiled and ran toward me and in her eyes she wrote forever in flashing embers and i knew then i would be consumed. i ran to her unconcerned as the flames seared my flesh and she was burned into my very soul. ashen figures burnt into the […]

just outside blue light beckons accompanied by disorienting music half a note too the fast off key warbling howling screams through hollowed out skulls cast in bronze with waxen rivulets in the haunting moments where dream is a flute hidden lost in dischordia i stumble with heavy limbs clanging a warbeast beholden an oni blood […]

i dream all goddamned day and wonder why sleep is an elusive whore i chase throughout the restless evenings perhaps prayers to hypnos rather than to a lower case t will provide some rest and relaxation a proper pantheon portraying pieces of humanity’s frgamented psyche instead of one absentee father figure only seen in toast […]

i long to trace the lines of her perfection with lazy fingers and hungry lips trancribing her fully into art discovering her every tell as i explore her depths with my tongue learning to play her body like a first chair in this symphony of desperate desires coaxing her entire being into a crescendo as […]

ignorance won yet again appealing to those unwilling to think for themselves the stupid fucking sheep chose a charlatan who has only ever failed except to sucker the rubes they are proudly embarassments to everything this country stands for and they are too stupid to see it your god would be sickened if he wasn’t […]

my favorite part of going into so many new places is the chance to stare at the artwork haphazardly strewn across the buildings i treat each new visit as a trip to the museum and try to capture the essence in the brushstrokes most are absolute shit mass produced pieces with zero tangibility but occasionally […]

waging this war to save daylight as evening falls earlier and earlier feels like a losing proposition i am a grizzled veteran of this fruitless battle wearing the mental scars of seasonal regression as i retreat farther back into my prison cell unwilling or unable to face the rain as summer begrudgingly gives way to […]

autumn rain falls over texas a welcome change to the baleful glare of our sun cooler weather as darkness reigns the shorter days lead to longer nights spent vivisecting dream as i fall further downdowndown this rabbit hole of unadultrated joy lavender bolts illuminate an altar worn marble from penitent prayers longer nights spent in […]

i prefer to fingerpaint in pain because agony is to be commiserated whereas happiness is enviable at best somedays this bipolar panoramic plays out in stunning contrast to a fool himself as the sun sets over contented sighs clutching joy while fragmenting is a spectacle unto its own weird wonder the chemicals sing so much […]

the day has decided to be a solid slate of dismal gray the clouds cast an eerie pall over a city filled with dreary spirits but she rests gently in my brain a golden aura washing away the dull dismalities in a rush of ideas to keep the demons at bay

it wasn’t supposed to be yet another day spent alone but we get what we get and nothing more

i wonder if after so many rebirthes does a phoenix ever tire of beginning again rising up from the ember and ash only to repeat the same vicious cycle it sounds at least to me rather fucking exhausting yet here i am trundling into yet another year no wiser nor even a bit better screaming […]

an evening fit for ghouls and death seems fitting as a fool grows steadily older than he ever expected to grow there always seemed to be a certain logic to being born the day after the veil is at its thinnest point where evils swirl just next to the living carving wards in which to […]

the weather has adopted an air of confusion as it feels cooler than it actually managed to be a subtle psychosis as the year nears its grand finale and a fool sits exhausted yet enthusiastic over what’s to come in the future which feels almost as confusing as the cool breeze on a warm afternoon […]

i feel less like a person and more like a collection of broken parts in desperate need of reconfiguring a constant struggle with perceiving leads to self discovery with a lack of depth perception from the blind eye leaking darkness into my mind hanging up tshirts after a trip to the laundromat at seven o’clock […]

basquiat taught the frenzy of creation of absorbing every tiny detail of the world around you and with a singular focus toward always twisting inspirationz into fresh wounds on the corpse of beauty the same grave remains to hold our fetid remains but those scars that is forever dontthink dontbreathe just create my friends fret […]

the poet’s curse sitting alone at 3am the silence seems so solid as the city snores a cacophony of creeping dissonance light pollution leaves three stars visible and the orange malaise of toxic haze will give the sun a sickly halo the electricity grabs my brain and sets me jittering silently so as to not […]

the city seems faded the bright sunshine absorbed into building which have lost their luster chasing problems through parking garages trying to outrun afterimages in this labyrinth made up of only straight lines there is a peculiar perpendicularness lancing ley lines to sputter and spark in turgid relapse lightning flashes over the ocean farfarfarawayfrom a […]

each morning i watch as the gradient of the sky goes from black to blue a solemn ritual of coffee mixed with poetic delusion the mania screams a supercharged bolt lashing my mind i am a tumultuous catastrophe in broken lines trickling down the spine of art a category six tempest feeding itself into a […]

the words sing in a way they haven’t for a very long time a bkeached coral chorus in chitinous chords revealing wonderland in reticulated verse what is a poet without a muse painting in ash at the altar of fiery dismays only to find anew the passion to reignite the sun with peculiar prose oh, […]

this paint by number reality leaves an acidic aftertaste as rumbling dyslexia makes the digits unrecognizable god as a painter suffers from acute colorblindness casting shades of gray in furious strokes unknowing if the hue matches any true intent she cracked open my chest with magnificently manucured nails to unleash a spectrum which washed away […]

there is a pure beauty only experienced in living while the harshest truths only show themselves in fetid decay i straddle them a modern day hel harnessing the hell which resides inside scratching out blossoms of hope in remission with a quill dipped in aortic spills i have reconfigured my dna to the point where […]

an eruption the sky ignites a deep thrombosis rupturing pink to stain the city sleeping fitfully in the throes of another nightmare brought on by artificial sweetners slipped into the water towers across the crumbling nation i cannot tell where the daydream ends and the day itself begins lost in this haze of sudden wonder […]

i feel like a crate of dynamite found after decades lost in darkness a growth of nitroglycerin crystals upon my subtly shivering frame beyond ready to explode she smiles and i know with complete understanding she will nurture a stability while encouraging the frantic need to destroy this boring status quo

night has falleni have beenlazy all dayand it felttremendousyet now in the darknessI feel guilt overthe lack of words perhaps she hasthem allstolen like my breathfallen from mystupid smileto litter the pavement here is a goddamned poemto satiate the itchbetween my earsanother sacrifice tocreativitywords to pelein hopes of evokingher in my presence

the sword of damocles hang over my head a constant reminder i linger st the edge of total annihilation can a nihilist be annihilated or is that just part and parcel in indecipherable nonsense reality is filled with heat distortions and i seek a mirage to rest a spell while i catch my breath falling […]

i go through interminable stretches where creativity is little more than a teasing whore tickling the edge of my fevered brain she shows me just enough rope to hang myself in manic curiosity to leave me longing for enough to finish the job she has deigned to shower her glorious attentions in all her splendid […]

a sudden influxof super andsecondary moonsancient cometsand the coming ofautumnal coolingleads a fool tobelieve maybethings aren’t sofucking terriblefor a little bitas long as youignore the newsand all the signsthings have nevermore fucked up small victoriessilver liningsand whatever elseis necessary tomake it thoughyet another daydip your toes intodelusion and watchit all burn away

the weatherman said a cold front was on its way yet today will be in the nineties poets are a lot like meteorologists neither really knows for sure what tomorrow will actually bring but we stand there cocksure and stupid knowing nearly every word we speak is wrong poetry and the weather two of the […]

the sky seems swollen this morning the gradual proliferation of cerulean paused in incidental bruising as engines rumbles and a fool vibrates in time with the uncertain diffusion creeping across texas today will be another in a long line of forced enthusiasm searing semi-plastic smiles on robotic faces sitting in vehicles suspended in traffic waiting […]

i think i saw the void wink at me as i gazed longingly into forever or perhaps it was a ripple where another lost dreamer dove headfirst into oblivion the illusion of choice hides the fact we only get to pick our poisons everything else is doled out without consent next time the void winks […]

i am vocal about the shitshow in my brain because keeping silent is the coward’s path the hardest part of being this way is not knowing who i will be tomorrow i want to be happy but there is always a chance something small will set off a total collapse something so tiny waking and […]

love is a temporary completion before life breaks us anew changing a fevered embrace into fresh wounds as we struggle with the pain bottled up behind our fleeting smiles i fear i am too worn down no longer capable of finishing the puzzle just an edge far removed from the glorious center more likely the […]

my mood has flatlined to the point i cannot tell if the current creativity has me nearly content or if i am so concussed by a year of failures i cannot bother with more than simply showing up i lost my place in my own story and i keep skipping around to find my bearings […]

i don’t believe in fate and i find coincidence to be exactly that the list of things i wish i believed in compared to what i have seen as truth is stark and desolate but some days the thing i wish i believed in most was myself yet when i try to figure out what […]

a trepidation in venturing out into the golden glow slowly igniting across the dark purple no one needs to see a fool who has been so uncertain as to who he is under the light where blemishes are more pronounced i struggle before trying to sleep without a grain of hope to cling to just […]

betrayals always begin as simple things then tumble into no return my mind doesn’t differentiate when lines are drawn in the sand just nukes it all into panes of painful glass to be reflected upon at a later time being friends with someone who hurts people you claim that you care about is the ultimate […]

madness isn’t something you explain it is wholly something you experience there are no answers no great epiphanies in falling apart fhere is anguish loss indeterminate stretches where nothing is sure but nothingness i can make you feel madness but after that is between you and your demons mine ask for things this life doesn’t […]

left to my own devices i cannot control the impulses if i could be anything but this meatsuit ripe with blowflies i would gratefully instead i keep taking more until i find some fucking answers deeperanddeeper so used to the spiral i forgot how to feel anything but nauseous

how fucking long does becoming yourself fucking take i have liquefied every bit of myself poured myself into this fucking cocoon and for what to not exist i need music drugs and a blow job guess i can settle on fucking myself

i mean you dont imagine bukowski standing at the urinal as the piss trickles you imagine him viral with a string flow or not at all i find life is so much better suited distorted every single person just dies i hope people remember me with a strong flow not dribbling sadly over my own […]

increasingly i just think the poetry saving all of us the hassle of typing out blathering odes i don’t even know the meaning of i just need something you know it’s all bullshit but momentarily dreams are everything i am just so tired of waking up just tired and no matter how fucking honest i […]

i feel dangerous as of late so very tired of this cage i feel so close to dying from all the things i won’t let myself taste no amount of fucking drugs or music can hope to numb what five minutes alone with you could ever satiate starve the demons so creativity bleeds and scrape […]

half blind self blind yet i see the entirety of this absurdity so clearly it makes me wonder how it all hasn’t toppled a thousand times over a slave to chemicals which spill unceremoniously across this slick where consciousness is supposed to reside we are astronauts in an atmosphere which slowly decomposes the soundtrack of […]

on occasion if you listen real closely the universe in its infinite absurdity can accidentally cast a path in the chaotic dissidence of blown out tires and broken hearts this morning i listened and went right back to bed spent too much of this temporary whatever chasing after my stupid fucking heart instead of listening […]

is the world stuttering or have i fallen into the wobble where the liquid core is sloshing causing it to jerk emphatically whenever i stop to catch my breath maybe it’s me trailing tiny cataclysms in a row behind me causing tremors leaving ruins in the shape of cartoon hearts wherever i go

last night i saw her once again haunting my dreams so i explained gently to her her constant excuses and shifting of blame in the real world meant i didn’t need to see her in dream she hurt me through neglect then pretended she was innocent as always and now i long for sweet dreams […]

being honest with one’s self when you cannot see yourself becomes another endless pursuit for answers in the funhouse of mirrors residing in chemical soaked folds amidst a lightning storm disillusioned by delusional dismay an anarchist awash with anxieies as another tsunami washes the words into a technicolor sluice where every important bit is buried […]

darkness lurks in the golden penumbra swirling specks of sickness coloring the edge of dawn in a disheartening variance of vertiginous volume which swallows nascent hopes still budding on the branch an anxious electricity crackles with each new disparity in disparaging i believe i have become two dimensional in this land of fully flawed delusionary […]

i am a dangling participle a dreary dromedary drifting aimlessly across the burning sand my soul screams in inconsolable selfenforcedsolitude leaking ink into a failing system of circulatory surrenders where her smile carves flesh from bone

the apartment shuddered as thunder rumbled across the filthy city filled to the brim with heartshatter a shifting landscape where huddled masses yearning simply to be seen slowly trundle out into the autumnal baptism washing away the scars where summer singed hope into ashes running down the swollen gutters on these cracked asphalt scars connecting […]

the breezeway seemed wider tonight in a hard to describe yet unsettling way it was the same in almost every miniscule detail except it appeared nearly cavernous nefarious in dimly lit understated tones of unbridled hostlity teeming just at the edges of vision yet the tension is palpable beyond the keen of mortals it beckons […]

i recognize the contradiction in my diction as i lay another row of bricks to cask of amontillado myself away from everyone and everything whining in semipoetic heartmurmurs for salvation from the archvillain of my story only seen in momentary glimmers on reflective surfaces as i recycle agonies to put myself in the right mental […]

these times when i don’t trust anything my broken brain projects i try to cease thinking and let instinct take over the only issue is my instincts are as faulty as the chemistry driving this meat suit skirting calamities ignoring i was the cause of as the scenery blurs and a fool is uncertain if […]

each breath feels less substantial vacuous in volume as i aspire to asphyxiation an empty vessel bereft of value the sole survivor of soul desertion in sentimental breakdowns daily forced amputees tapdancing innocently on innocuous minefields her razor wire wrapped heart bleeds belligerently in abject denials i sputter along well past my expiration dateless in […]

i cannot tell on any given day if i am witnessing a menagerie of sheer absurdity or if i am one of the unwitting performers in a prison of my own fretful design doomed to a one man breakdown in shimmering arrays of bipolar static for the enjoyment of no one whatsoever assaulted by this […]

ravenous while raving madly at the spiraling moon beset by blinding disintegrations in an absence of actualities as the sun begins the long ascent in sizzling quasimeandering tonal waves of total silence madness grips too tightly to a flailing fool contemplating drowning in an abandoned pool

it is hard not to become dejected by all the rejection to not feel defective in lack of retention when hydrogen bonds go up in flames it doesn’t take a detective to see from my skewed perspective each time another prospective avoids my detection in all the times left in the dark if i am […]

the combined turbulence between the different bpds leaves me feeling phantasmal in my own purgatorial wandering while i flounder in a pool of self doubts two inches deep drowning in a fit of mental paralysis as i wonder what it is which makes me lesser than incrementally there is no place for me in this […]

the phrase under the weather infuriates me we are all subject to full immersion in the patterns blanketing the entirety of the globe now i am under the weather while a virus runs rampant an illness not born of the clear summer skies nor from encroaching autumnal shifting i am multiplicitively under the weather when […]

a literal lifeguard watching the interconnectivity betwixt souldander surrenders perched far enough away to never quite frolic in the refreshing spray too browbeaten and disabused of the notion of joy to do more than watch my heart is the wrinkled bill which finds only rejection when used for change bleeding dayglo krylon in insipid neon […]

my work takes me to higher end apartment complexes where the most complex ideal is the terrible decorations which are meant to seem lavish yet mash together in a hodge podge which says nothing in overabundance i like to stare at the paintings seeing hidden currents in the brushstrokes to find the soul of the […]

the more people look the less i have to say as i fade into a vaguely human stain for the life of me i cannot figure out what it is they think they see an illusion in three quarter time a lapsed reason of infallible sin reminding others they are not alone while chasing echoes […]

i cannot recall the last time i drank myself into a stupor but i know every note of a hangover as mental exhaustion tickles gray matters which seemingly don’t i yearn for a connection while keeping my head down finishing out obligations so i can spill out these words of desperate longing without allowing myself […]

punchy from sleep deprivation yet electric from a quick weekend in knoxville at the tennessee book readers convention where an electic gathering of some of my closest friends spent two days laughing while shilling books a warm tinge to sheer exhaustion three days spent without my phone untethered to the electronic madness momentarily as the […]

september arrived with cooler temperatures and a blanket of rain to soothe the sun cracked dominion where wishes waste away into fine grit sandblasting happiness into dour grimaces i don’t know what to do with myself a weeklong sabbatical to prepare mentally for a weekend in knoxville surrounded by some of my closest friends feels […]

the morning drive shows a sky in strata gradient shades of pastel madnesses fulfilling a complete archaeological summation of her smile blossoming into golden splendor even as the last wisps of sleep evaporate in sullensteam to scar a world of hazel lies i exist somewhere beyond indigo bands rendered indistinguishable from the farthest reaches of […]

an internal struggle to not cast out these dreamscatter odes to gleaming heartshatter as blood bubbles well from these crimson lips a fool hiding from himself ignoring the calls ollieollieoxenfree scraping sediment from his long seasunken brain running raisined fingers against the bleached coral where hope once frolicked in faerie lights refracted off the milky […]

the curse of waking at the witching hour has returned and i can’t quite tell if it is a symptom of the cycle or residual effects of ineffectual affections from a spellslinger in the most bewitching disguise either way i vibrate at the exact speed of loneliness in doomecho serenades tracing sigils on goosepimpled flesh

trickle down apathetics decreasing the flow of endorphins to key receptors as a fool melts into a viridescent pool of his own shimmering inconsequence

every time i take a breath there is another deadline looming constricting bronchial paths until black spots flicker angrily leaving me in a heap of broken ideas cutting deep shards of silver backed slivers only showcasing the frustration in creating for others rather than tending the fires burning deep inside my soul as a lack […]

constricted by a construct which despite many uses is an abstract issuing anxieties i used to have to leave early inherent uncertainties in traffic migration need room for error now i know to the exact minute when i will arrive and i struggle to recall a time before still i sit in half empty parking […]

the early morning heat distortons gave an ominous feel to a stringent sunday as the clothes spin in a psychotic ode to cleanliness and the occidental fear of abstract divinity the goddamned words swirl in the swill of salt ringed dreamcatchers hanging limp in the humidity where wonder is a wrinkled regiment of recycled rejections […]

the scars on the inside of my eyelids match up perfectly with her crooked little grin it is no wonder i cannot force myself to fall asleep when this accursed overlay only reminds me of the constant aching of loneliness another symptom of being self aware enough to curse dreams while being too weak to […]

i might not have gotten the easiest mental disorders to live with but i got the right kind of autism in which to complain in a pretty way

i was awoken by the hand of god in tue form of pure electricity as mania grips my fevered skull now i sit longing for sleep radiating sparks unable to still the rambunctious screaming of a thousand disparate thoughts it is times like these i welcome being self blind because i am sure i wouldn’t […]

lately the ceaseless stress compounded by merciless heat has left me shattered in a state of lingering losses i am wrung out watching hope as it evaporates into scalding steam i still yearn for despite the scarring loneliness the sugar free substitute for happiness in a world of chemical alternatives turned cancerous now when i […]

i see how heavy other people’s expectations can be barnacles dragging momentum to a staggering halt i also understand not giving a fuck can push people away but any expectations you have about another person and their behaviors is no one’s responsibilty except your own it is not anyone’s purpose to fulfill your ideals and […]

i lost my voice not through sickness nor from straining simply because no one hears my whispers

viridescent puddles an eerie trail of corruption meandering sloppily as i melt under the merciless glare of the texas sun the best parts of me lines of heat distortion in syncopated heartmurmurs simmering like a mirage