a free floating cloud of chaos aimlessly drifting surrounded by glorious beacons crackling manically alive and humming with momentary existence unfiltered wonder in a sea of smiles a disparate group of beautiful misfits and the mad fool lost in laughter next year never seemed so far away

occasionally silence is the answer left unread as succinct as a goodbye

when i am ugly small sad lost i don’t need told how i am wrong just reassured it will be okay eventually i can make it through anything as long as i know it will all be okay sometimes it doesn’t feel as if anything will ever be okay again and the silence only compounds […]

so many friendsare coming to townfellow writersconverging fora conventiona confluence ofsome of my favoriteink stained souls i am anxiousbut not miserably soexcited bythe many hugs andlate night sessionsof oneupmanshiptalking a craftroaring as an infernoinside our minds i imagine howhank would havebitched and complaineddrunkenly holdingcourt over alland i realizewe are now the onessteering our artthe ones […]

being mostly a hermit, which has gone from eccentric to acceptable over the last couple of years, the false warmth of social media filled the need for contact in an imaginary reticulation blurring reality with chemically altered additives accumulating provate data to create the perfect dissociative state pavlov’s notification unleashing endorphins with each vapid blue […]

a lone cricket sitting on the porch vibrating a song of incessant need chitinous legs a one bug cacophony in staccato refrain screaming for something i am not sure truly exists a lone poet sitting on the couch vibrating an ode to a vacuous need mind shivering a one man disaster held in love’s disdain […]

i leave strips of the best parts of myself not yet gone rancid nailed to trees so no one bothers following me into the hellscape of self sabotage i seem to willingly build around me i needn’t bother the pestilence brewing inside of my sickly soulshatter putrefies any absent adorations accidentally cast toward a fool […]

rotten fruit still life in rampant decay cold shivers wet bulbs burst in summer’s dismay silent miseries let loose a cacophony under blanketed gray empty lots of cracked devotionals awaiting a solitary ray the empty throne of abandoned divinity to whom we pray torn vocal cords in an ignoble torture of what i can’t say

blue black skies awaiting the sun an air of cannot uncontracted no clever apostrphe hung as the toads warble loud enough to wake the angry cardinals the world vibrates in nots and no’s crimson slashes screeching in defiance yet clearly uncertain as to what they are defiantly against discordant chaos an oil slick of rainbow […]

a summer storm sudden thunder as the sunlight filters between fat droplets a heavy blanket of humidity laden intoxicating disenchantments falls over me waterboarded by an oversaturation of billowing gray conscious enough after days of no sleep to know that this is an illusion everything we see is upside down and shot in black and […]

how many times can i be pushed to the side before acknowledging i am the problem i am sorry my love is a bitter taste i tried to infuse it with all the sweetness inside of me but apparently this lemon is all rind a fool is meant to love silently with no hope of […]

half an hour early sitting as wu tang explains how cash rules everything around me and i can’t help but wonder if that is the cause of this acidic pit etching misery another day in the pursuit of someone else’s dream as i scribble in the margins from another parking lot as the sun glares […]

there is no poetry to be found this morning reality is a rusted blade in the guts while beauty is not for one such as i just echoed dreamwhispers in an abandonment of adoration

i see the rash of carboncopies aseriesofpaperdolls eerily similar to love’s fool hanging on every word. they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. you cannot flatter someone who cannot see themself. cut deeper right now you’ve barely left a scratch it isn’t until you see the sinew watch tendons flex when the agony […]

i am an empty vessel untouched except by a thin layer of dust a vase filled with wilted blooms amidst a garden of beautiful blossoms the bucket hanging itself from a dried up wishing well suspended by the frayed rope of unreciprocated heartshivers

woke with tears already brimming obscuring the sunrise as a storm swept over and i already fell apart before managing to turn off the buzzing alarm this vortex of raw emotion cuts a thousand spinning blades across the tender edge of amother day in hell spent feeling everything too intensely while calling out to the […]

i realized i wasn’t lost so much just guided by long dead stars a broken astrolabe a fool confused staring at a map where exes marked fragments of myself impossible to reassimilate those figments of love’s imagination are safer with them rather than a bipolar bard following a compass which only ever steered me fartherandfurther […]

last night the wildflowers crept across dream leaving scars in pollenated withdrawal this morning the coffee is the second most bitter miasma to cross my tongue after waking and calling out to the nothingness pressing down on all sides

i read sylvia in the mornings to remind myself there is beauty in the world i read hank right before bed so i know i am not alone in this teeming disenchantment it’s easier staying awake all night long angry with the promise of joy during the day i do what i can to numb […]

no one cares if it hurts the now is insignificant how beautifully did you bleed were you able to leave one faded stain somedays it just fucking hurts still i cut disappointed at the trickle starving in the dark praying as only an atheist at his wit’s end can pray.

a day off in the middle of the week has my cicadian rhythm of screaming relentlessly for love before burying myself for another seven years a touch off but going from monday to sunday to monday again having to acknowledge it is tuesday is a garrote around my brainstem leaving circadian dismay in a lurch

daylighta crimson slashrefracted acrossan unwillingskyline ofconcretecondemnations i see the wolvesfanglesshowling in illfitting sheep suitsproclaimingsalvation in theclink of coinagereplacing couragewith connivingbartering eternitywith lower case t’s downtown is emptybut for foolswith homeless heartsbegging for changeincapable of itimpoverished soulswith faded signspromising paradisesunwanted and unseen

the sun sleeps sweet blasphemer nestled beneath the dark horizon far from the dead eyed glare of divinity cast in tepid boredom lost among light pollution in a settling of orange hued smog a blanket tucking the sleepy city in with carbon monoxide flavored kisses and a hint of eternity in whispered odes to happily […]

sprinting nude from room to room tossing stones to shatter the dejection of living in a glass house dodging dispersions in a demure deluge of daydream damnations a death defying amateur daredevil taking greater and greater chances just to try to faintly feel fucking anything at all an atheistic prayer hedging bets as the call […]

in the throes of a story i channel sheer voltage scarring the vellum as my quill scratches beautiful catastrophes in incremental sorrows i am a human lightning rod a vessel for this madness to course carelessly leaving etchings of haunting images scorched into the earth around me battered with wispy tendrils of smoke rising on […]

a heat dome settled over the lone star state a relentless brutality in wavering lines distorting horizons wispy clouds not the spun sugar happy cottony cumulus accumulate more plumes of smoke as the roadside combusts ecstatically daydreamdeliriums melting down into salt ringed puddles of despair inducing a humidity in aching wet bulb semipoeticdeathonomics

the false walls help disguise the arms of the spiral the tentacles pulling ever in by the time you recognize the pattern it’s far too late a modern day daedalus crafting impossibilities with a crooked quill too clever to be less than dangerous not clever by half as he assumes the kraken roars ferocious beak […]

it has become impossible to separate you from my defintion of love despite time and distance your name crosses my lips last each evening as natural as breathing including the persistent fucking ache

been awake so long the last nap is but a bitter memory of stinging sand still forming in the corner of bloodshot eyes on cruise control as the hazard lights flare in orange flashes stealing night vision leaving everything in a perpetual dark as i furiously blink static afterimages obscuring the wall i barrel into […]

i don’t know what i expect anymore everything is monumentally difficult when my brain is always working against me and the fucking thing never rests it gets too quiet the voice purrs we pick apart pixels seeking waves of dissonance rippling across placid illusions it gets dizzying chasing circular fallacies of your own creation let […]

realityis pins and needlesas the sparrowsscream it is okaysomedaysto not beokay othersit is alli can donot toscreamuntil bloody flecksadorn thenascent hellhoarsely decryfluctuatingbetweenskinless ina sandstormor shiveringnumbly nudeon a glacier pinned andneedledby anxietiesthe circulationto my soulcutoffhanging likea withered umbilicalstained withmaternal neglect it is okaysome decadesto not beokay probably.

plastic bags billow phantoms floating over fields of brown ghosts trapped in trash unable to find the light no matter how hard i press down on the accelerator the anxiety stays nipping at my heels the spirits of my ancestors caught up in the detritus of a life squandered screaming as i rocket past on […]

sylvia wrote of a being the ghost of an infamous suicide her blue razor rusted in her throat unknowing of how prophetic she truly was even if the means was gotten wrong she is impossible to emulate the electric stove notwithstanding but this morning as the sparrows scream my eyes retrace her infamous suicide with […]

i didn’t want any of this life content to bleed delusions anonymously from the safety of a worn sage couch no one knows the horror of being seen and not knowing what they see when you cannot see yourself i can tell you every flaw i have run your fingers along the scars explaining exactly […]

the sun rose so brightly over a moribund swell gently caressing the cancerous growths seeking a momentary reprieve from the rapid inundation of ignoble agonies saturating the ground soil into a bog of derelict disillusionments the rot has found purchase in the striated musculature of fading heartblossoms wilting the petals until a certainty of bewilderment […]

he sat hopeful unaware he was little more than an ersatz poet a placeholder yet again almost exactly what was needed just not quite enough keeping the seat warm for perfection the sunlight wages war with the thunderous gray encroachment a soft aching reverberates in a mocking berating of joy

he said “pain is just an illusion” i shook my head “pain is the only proof of existence. the only thing we know is real” in the absurdity of day to day i find as much comfort in the headache leaving me blind in one eye than i do to any piebald dreams as flimsy […]

i exist in the pregnant pause at the beginning of waiting room by fugazi the moment when the groove hits and then everything stops manic lightning infected by the beat gone silent and arcing madly with no purpose zero direction lost in the creases of electrified jelly by the time the rhythm finds me the […]

evocative metaphor strained by adverse adjective frustration ill defined need pensively beautiful expression of pain petulant diatribe on feeling insignificant change metaphor build new tension express dichotomy pull apart emotion into warbling dissonance confusing intial verse sloppily interwtine the two disparate metaphors into a painful sluice with a hopeful glance at a happiness that will […]

the voice whisperscreams incessantly questioning everything picking threads until i am tangled up in an indecipherable hellscape of my own devising i know this i am aware yet i am utterly fucking powerless because it does not stop and i can only stay so stoic for so fucking long in the face of indeterminable sadness […]

i am thunder crackling on a sunny day the chill running down the curve of your spine the phantom touch caressing your gentle heart a myth a nightmare a hyperbolic catastrophe crashing into your serenity disrupting rigid order in a storm of incipient chaos a weeping wound never quite closing leaking lavender in a pollution […]

hopelessly romantic leads to hopelessness when seeing hollywood endings seem to only occur in the movies my lips ache in time with my heartbeat hollowed out from souldeep longing for things that only exist in dream rapid oscillations have me reeling the celluloid ignites i watch the flames race along exposed beams unfrightened in billowing […]

the pressure pulverizes bone into dust i don’t want to be this way anxious overwhelmed dissociating from stresses i cannot tell if are real or imagined the diving bell distorts displacing large bubbles rippling to a surface no one monitors a kink in the hose forming into thirteen loops i know the suicidal ideation is […]

the tipping point where dream fades into an oblivious oblivion as reality cuts off the last white knuckle clinging and all that remains is memories of pain miseries have a way of accumulating until all that remains is the fetid bits of happiness in bloody fangs snarling just outside the ring of diminishing golden light

as long as egos are fed your place in the order is secured but give less than normal and watch as their need becomes disdain no one cares if someone is starving when they have a full stomach but at the first hunger pang you see the change the smile becomes a snarl with gleaming […]

there are invisible layers monofilament threads spiderwebs crisscrossing every statement no matter how carefully i try to express this overwhelming endless dread the words are misconstrued and suddenly i am trying to navigate projected thoughts unadjacent to the initial struggle binding me in a hellacious loop of misunderstood agonized paralysis

a timorous trembling in the morn flush with lugubrious sparrowsong awoken to a lack of color grayscale panic in a meticulous disdain rife with razored shadows slicing deep to unleash a torrent of tar black sludge enough to preserve this imperfect hellvision into perpetuity

been locked into a game of emotional tetris trying to keep the rampant misshapen feelings carefully compacted before i explode all there is for a goddamned fool is hesitancy or outright dismissal as he grows smallerandsmaller until he finally vanishes completely my heart has become a derelict old abandoned gold mine once filled to overflowing […]

i have a big heart not to say i am overly compassionate or extra sweet and loving hyperbolic and mostly unwanted by the world at large no i have a big heart because the heart is a muscle and anxiety is the ultimate work out i imagine with how rapidly it seems to swoosh whoosh […]

i slit open my belly letting the fires of hell blacken the blade as magma drips in smoldering tear drops etching runes down tired cheeks shredded flesh revealing damnation in fractured bone every tyrannical arc of blinding agony calls forth an army of desolate truth i am the sum of incomprehensible emptiness colliding with universal […]

i keep missing the storm driving through aftermaths with a tinge of disappointment as the wet streets remind of the rainfall not meant for me all i see is what is not meant for a stain such as myself unable to catch the rains and be washed away into the sewer where my kind are […]

indolenthe stared outcursing the worldyet contentedto sitdoing nothingbut complaining insolentburning with asultry irreverencediscontentedwith a king’s shareof nothingto satiate the pain unrepentantcursing the absentdivinity with apetulant angerof an abandoned childwith only the scarswhere hope once lay a dire absentiacarving the corpseof happily ever afterinto a funeral pyrefor the dying dreamerscasually dying ofcasualities in aconfusion of condemnation

the air feelscoarseas it coursesthrough randompotholesbubbling outin temporal spasmsa grim rictusin arabesque reposecrimson petalsbloody tear dropsin a blizzard ofrazored realizationsmarrow tornfrom pockmarked boneby static phantomsin undulating cloakstorn from the voidmanifested directlyfrom the agoniestearing dream asunder seized byanxietiesif i think aboutbreathingi forget howto breathea conundrumin blinking spots fireflies danceacross my scalpas i wait patientlyfor darknessto hold […]

the warehouse is a misery of stagnant heat the heavy fumes of acetone and dreary faces already done with the nascent week i feel myself melting with each step as the fog of chemicals flushes my brain the pieces lost extraneous in the dismal dungeon as escape becomes the only desire no matter how fast […]

a tuesday suspiciously masquerading as a monday as soft snores fills the tiny little apartment a fool sits anxiously anticipating the malevolence of the week

humming softly transitioning from potential to kinetic leaving scorch marks burnt in the sharp curve of a devil’s grin on your pretty little heart before dissipating a flash of energy illuminating all the negative space left haunted by what slipped away it doesn’t require a complex ritual the only sacrifice is of your precious time […]

i never got to be a father on father’s day while my father was still alive leaves a hole that threatens to swallow me whole but i see him in the kids and that fills the pit with grains of bittersweet joy even if i am the only one who sees how he lives on […]

gingerly picking scabs these cursive recursions denatured signatures from love letters never sent unrequited in the quite cautious quiet of unsure heartquivers quaintly calling out in the dark

dancing withthe demonsleaking frommy aching headthe lost loveslike anchorslittle badgesstapled whimsicallyto a bipolar heartthe skeletonsin my closetplay dress upfaint notes ofsweet perfumestill lingeringtickling myhippocampuslashes of nettlesa burst of painto try andalleviate theswelling ofreplanting mywandering affectionnext to the wheezingseries of leakingvalves spillingmemories in adayglo dissentionas the hornsblare while i amunaware if it isthe music or thetraffic […]

careful fulfillment of routine keeps the butterfly (carnivorous bastard, he may be) from flapping his wings thusly allowing an illusion of control i am having issues telling what is really real and what is anxiety murmuring general gentle insanities keeping me awake long past my expiration trait a cask of amontillado gone to vinegar abound […]

the clouds skim the darkness leaving patches of dark blue hints of a sun unwilling to shine down over an ineptitude of sultry sins the sparrows and i sit silently waiting for the day to dawn as coffee gurgles a bitter defiance to insomnial whining the particulates hang demurely to obscure the nascent rays seeking […]

the leylines thrum with untapped power i sit crisscross applesauce contemplating my navel little scars in the shape of devilishly angelic smiles scrape along hazel static scrubbing any trace of intrusive delusion from taking root in the salted plantation in the shape of a heart flowers ring the base of the hill i circle oncetwicethrice […]

the world feels plasticized or i cannot reach through the mire of myopic dreariness encapsulating this moribund day to feel anything except things slipping away it definitely could just be me sitting in a lot watching construction yellow dinosaurs tearing apart roads scraping and chewing shitting out new lanes that look just about the fucking […]

the meat suit is malfunctioning today the regulator keeping the voltage at functional levels seems to have gone kaput a crackling echoes each step and the coffee is doing little to equalize the cabin pressure in my skull to match the world in corrosive shades of petulant pastels there is no beauty to be seen […]

can you imagine being filled to rupture yet none of what aches inside is anything anyone could possibly ever want? i cut myself to release pressure bleeding technicolor onto a world filled with foggy relapse leaving blinding images scarred into the asphalt dreamchannels between vacant hearts. the sparrows sing of the trail of blossoms heartthistle […]

there is no separation between cloud and building a haze a malaise in unfallen drops i sit out of phase unfazed in this fugue this funk this lackadaisical meandering in ever tightening swirls drained as the best parts of who i wish i was limply spins around the drain a self contained vaccuum untouched by […]

i am the secret you couldn’t keep the dream you couldn’t decipher the regret lingering upon your pretty tongue as you let me slip away still i wake your name full on my lips a discarded fool sipping coffee wondering why the storm won’t simply wash me away with the same casual disregard i saw […]

i lay down lying to myself sleep awaits the pillows overstuffed with whisper adorations cradle a head full of demons as the stars fade out onebyone and the darkness is a reflection of god’s retina dilated yet criminally oblivious to the plight of insomnial poets or the anxieties churning them into dust

how the lava slowly percolating in my stomach hasn’t burned through this husk to spill a river of anxietal angst scorching the scenic gray settled over this concrete cage is beyond me this too shall pass ulcerative elucidations in the silent mourning of the weekend’s past

the alarm rang telling me my time staring at the ceiling as waves of anxiety compress my heart into a perfectly flawed blood diamond shining dully in her disengaged stare hard to gauge how bad things have gotten when it feels the same as always fallen into the repetitions the manic monster kept at arm’s […]

been darting between lightning strikes a series of glass footprints etched into the sand the only sign i was ever here the essence of reality is mercurial running between my fingers as i grasp for a momentary forever in an eternity of dreamnettles tracing surrender in defiant palpatations if the goddamned storms would just drown […]

you’re shown your true worth when you are in desperate need and silence is your only lifeline after so many trips to the same destination it becomes all too clear a jester has only his obligation to make the queen feel happy his needs are of no real consequence this is forgotten in the happy […]

never a destination just a diversion a misunderstanding in an idiot’s heart seeking eternity in temporal thunder

perceptionfrom perspectigerecognizingpatterns in thechaos churning despite bestintentions everythingends badlychemical deficienciesan unwillingnessin acceptance there is somethingso tempting inembracing insanitybut madness doublestime to expirationeveryone wants tobe the focal pointuntil they see itis a full time jobwatching the fooljuggle emotionalchainsaws constantly how many ground zerodetonations canthe human soulwithstand beforebecoming nothing butirradiated dust devilsbegging for scraps i leave lip […]

fuck hollywood and the forced happy endings where the plucky idiot gets the girl and they ride off happily into the sunset where’s the truth? sitting alone angrily rooting on the predictable plot knowing happy endings are fifty bucks at the massage parlor a real ending is not understanding what you did yet assuming the […]

there must be a pool where rainbows drain the colors run into a clarity in hued division do the seven separate strands crash back into a blinding white or fizzle into a hazy gray diffusion the same as a majestic waterfall against the slowly eroding stone beneath sleepless nights spent differentiating the disparate shades only […]

leaving a trail of tattered scraps of the maps leading back to the homes that are only home in name places i have no intention of ever seeing again eyes forward the past is too easy to get lost in when i am not quite sure where i am at the present i know these […]

the city stretches tiredly shedding the sleepiness from stormy nights where the rains never quite found the ability to fall a pregnant longing under a magnification of solar insolence i woke under a pile of mostly empty bottles my left ear sounding a strangulation of stabbing reminders looking for one more sip of what ails […]

my name is a quicksand of shifting glyphs a rune etched with a thorn along the cardial nerve a shiver causing palpitations the devil glinting in my smirk an itch you cannot scratch my absence accentuates the hollowness of the relentless sorrow a hoarfrost silhouette dissipating in the summer sun a memory of hot breath […]

i feel gravity a little bit stronger today there is a restless denseness to my meat encased skeleton maybe my brain is just a bowling ball and reality is gleaming pins its all too heavy today though or i am too incorporeal to effect gravity i wonder how distorted the world around me becomes as […]

after the sun has wizened the grape the rains do not return the raisin to its former glory this world knows only how to take the topsoil is littered with the desiccated corpses of dreamers if not given sustenance we slowly consume ourselves until our bodies fail our hearts and souls faded in starvation consuming […]

a quiet contemplation of spitting in a wishing well as the bass buzzes the back of my brains stem dizzy from following the needle as it spins in a madness of misdirections an inverse urchin a magician’s assistant in an act of wretched disdain savoring the swords for the contact off balance my center has […]

a ripple in the darkness lavender waves smoky ethereal my fingers yearn to trail through the fabric of creation to find that spark in the embers of a sullen soul i sink into my hollow pulse aware always my heart beats itself to death each moment spent in the fugue is another closer to a […]

i didn’t lose my voice just the confidence to use it effectually so the long interminable silences know the thoughts my deadened tongue cannot maneuver the fool watches apart from not a part of a comfortable discomfort in dreamdander longing sometimes the spiral is so gentle it barely feels like drowning rather it seems like […]

the coffee tastes off today too bitter or maybe that is just me as the pressure builds higherandhigher in inflamed cheeks the sky is silver light glinting off of a monomolecular blade slicing prismatically through hydrogen bonds severing the space between heartspasms in tired restraint

i lost faith became voiceless blank a fresh sheet of untarnished white yet the pencil tip was broken no mouth from which to scream a pseudoscientific mental mutation from ellison’s fondest dream unable to face the faceless fiend apathetically following my every panicked move a reflection of naught i am the devil and my greatest […]

the pigeons own the sidewalks as i sit on a side street watching the people through a golden diffusion in low laying pollution there is a certain serendipity to the strained sunlight burning off the layer of orange the angry horns as cars switch lanes with no blinker nor casual glances at objects that may […]

i thought i lost my voice it just turned out i didn’t have anything worthy of being heard it isn’t until the words stop and the world keeps on wobbling when you get the true sense of worth maybe it’s forgotten a poet spends twice as long watching as they do spilling their guts out […]

i can’tdecant kantwithoutconsideringthe internetis the truestform ofdisprovingall he proposed hard to definea moving target

the clarity when mania dawns doesn’t lessen the sting of blank dismissal but it illuminates that which was shrouded in false refrains of best intentions gesticulated yet never truly acted upon the moonsick fool inept accept for pattern recognition sees the entire map tracing his fingers along the series of dead ends the broken lodestone […]

if i was made in god’s image then i imagine she is desperate for a little affection yet stares into forever silently the cottonwood dander flies around a blizzard of delusion the world has become an inverse snowglobe shaking in time to the ferocity of my pulse

can a new job turn the unlovable into something new? will a fair wage give value to a heart no one ever wanted? another new start as a fool finds failure in earnest attempts searching for solace in the silent solitude where the irredeemable lay there was no deposit on emotional investments just zero sum […]

the sparrows sing of a distortion in the swollen sorrows an exaggerated syncopation where dreamshit severance meets hollow acceptance reciprocated in a tempest of selfdisdain my lips form the words caught in my throat pantomiming my way through an affluence of homegrown agonies tracing nurtured neglects in an ever tightening spiral of frozen regret

a time lapse showing a star igniting from the nothingness expanding outwards burning itself out giving light to a disinterested universe only to grow too large to sustain itself before collapsing inwards in a virudescent maw of insatiable need just to reignite forcefed the same cyclical madness ad nauseam until one day there is nothing […]

there is a typo in my copy of green rock, winthrop bay where pier is spelled piet which fits the dour work of churlish intent yet each time i come across it a flaw transcribed into flawlessness i smile sadly my every myopic polarity swing has a mirror in her words and even the flaw […]

lost in a world a vivid vivisection of dream kissed reality in a storm of passion’s fury only to crash headlong into a stained glass window concussed by the mundanity in frame was the light merely a careful refraction once picked apart photon by photon casts only lifeless shadows or has the swarm of dermestid […]