i slip into this serendipitous silence unfazed as i phase faceless into the lazy haze of incremental doomshivers quivering in neurotic neuron negations i was never ever truly here a manic mirage waves of bipolar distortionary static beamed from the depths of inclement hells a phantom sending chills down the spine of love a fruitless […]

we were latchkey degenerates forced to figure out how to take care of ourselves no supervision just repercussions if we got caught when there was no one around to even bother we grew up nearly feral the children of children we would leave in the morning only to stumble back into bed as close to […]

there is a convergence a venn diagram of insular insanities an unsanitary incidence where waking nightmares exist codependently with the rusted shackles of hope i drunkenly pilot this derelict dreamhusk into the heart of malignant maelstroms a mishmash multitude in mindnumbing pains exacerbated enigmas eeking out eerily aggressive passions in passive agressions murmuring passages with […]

her wings were goldspun gossamer grotesqueries flapping wetly in the witching hour an angel gone feral a succubus in innocent repose still i could not bleed enough to satiate her horrible hunger a wizened husk raspily begging for one more chance an ending disguised as fresh beginnings a new start down the road to ruin […]

scrubbed three layers off in the shower hoping to uncover anything more than what has been reflected in the quick glances of a stranger glaring in the mirror lingering dregs of disastrous dream drifting down an ever tightening spiral so familiar i cannot separate delusion from dreary depression ulcerative truths rampage throughout the sleepy cathedral […]

sparks drift yet never manage to ignite these fields of dreamdander unregulated banks of pollinated ash irritating insolence and esophageal linings by equal measure these tears blurring vision while never quite falling to trace chaotic trails down weathered cheeks lend credence to semicoagulated hypotheses regarding atheistic anesthesia counting back from one million lies whispered in […]

digital artists seek to fulfill the uncanny valley where it becomes impossible to tell reality from the pixels i prefer the more archaic pursuit of poetry and the search for the elusive uncanny alley where the filth of the human existence permeates the page diving in the gaps of a meth head’s smile to wring […]

the proliferation of gray has given way to a prison in blinding light the clenched fists of summer begin to pummel the land wringing every drop of precious precipitation from the dessicated earth i have lost track of the first concussive cluster into this seemingly surreal spiral of rebounding an antagonistic agony engrained in each […]

my organs compressed by an extravagance of internal and external pressures have turned to diamond as the carbon forms a new survival dynamic in crystalline incoherence i suffocate my lungs incapable of expansion hoarfrosted by jagged spikes rhinestone barbwire lovingly crafted by anxietal humming threaded through floating ribs electrified lies coursing coarsely through convoluted braincreases […]

lash tight the stiffened corpses of those who came before to fashion a raft to try and navigate the irrational currents of existence the stench of rot wafts on the salty breeze an uncertainty if the scent is from the degenerating bodies making up the vessel or the lone occupant falling apart as the ocean […]

no substance i am background noise long tuned out going nowhere at the speed of doubt so much attention for someone so utterly ignored all the time in the grip of another bad cycle in a thunderstorm raging alone

the sparrows mock me this morning her dreamscent lingering on my pulsating brain a sullen gray painting the sky bitter coffee coating my mouth the birdsong grates bared nervousness as the daily allotment of anxiety arrives a fiberglass straightjacket choking out the liberally taxed freedoms i work halfassedly to maintain already in need of an […]

gray an exuberance of fucking gray an overabundance draped in gray despair thecloudsthebuildings an unsettling display where everything is mired in godforsaken gray cookiecuttercars eggshaped abominations in wavering white surround me on all sides the simulation buffers textureless clouds a schismatic collapse in central programming i clutch the wheel dull reflections in rippled gray show […]

agitated unable to expel all of this anxiety everything’s just so gross covered in a slick of shimmering slime snot dripping from god’s left nostril as she sleeps away this infernal seventh day dreaming of all the ways we couldn’t possibly fuck up paradise my heart has a short to ground arcing against the pitted […]

the meaning of this accidental existence needn’t be searched for because frankly there is none to be found all we can do is not be assholes for as long as we are stuck here all while expecting there is nothing to be found beyond if you’re only being a good person in hopes of a […]

in and out not quite sure if i mean the power or consciousness trapped in the silence where nothing hums except a fool sparking out in rampant decline

the rain which washed away the power for days threatens yet again the seasons have shifted now winter who once began to nestle in in october sullenly visits in january and the rains which were at home in the spring drunkenly stumble in months overdue the world shifts while a bipolar fool shuffles along uncertain […]

the power returned for two glorious hours a tease a taste a tantalizing glimpse into modern civility but like all sweet dreams it was not meant to last too long now i sit scribbling by candlelight a true poet in rustic repose by that i mean sullen and morose lamenting amenities of a far gone […]

i woke to quickly decide after hearing the storms to go back to sleep again but the alarm had different ideas so i stumbled into the kitchen to make coffee and as the last drops percolated the universe chuckled wryly as the power went out so i sit sipping coffee as puncutations of rumbling thunder […]

the windows covered in condensation as the sun rises prepared to incinerate any and every single thing in the roiling avarice of the flame a trail of ashen reminders cling to the melting waffle grid as i roam this incidental accident a fool hiding amongst the herd of blank eyes lost in consumption

digging through dimly lit denials trying to shake the dreamdander delusions draped over my tired mind the only time she soeaks to me is when i linger just above sleep yet nowhere near full wakefulness the subtle pining of a heart drunk on sleep deprivation

a sense of detachment similar to god’s retina leaves me incapable of seeing any glimmer of truth just blurred images easily mistaken for hope in this cacophony of silent screaming facelessandtraceless bombarded by billions of ancillary illusions deludedandintruded i carve smiley faces on my eyelids so dissociation seems a pleasant confusion the ticktickticking of the […]

adrift no more mooring just hints of flame fireflies turned to ash where ropes once kept me tethered fluent in self shibari from tracing the knots inside my labyrinthian hell of a mind my fingers disrupt my wake making any attempt to triangulate my location before the sharks follow pink foam as a fool slowly […]

i scream you scream we all scream for answers and the void fluctuates menacingly aloof no hint of a ripple to justify existence i spread this miasmal semipoetic wailing like bird shit spreads the wildflowers a necessary ugliness to reaffirm all the splendiferous beauty in swaying blooms amongst the billowing trash a snowglobe of urban […]

i am used to standing in storms my heart has always been a lightning rod while my brain is in a constant flux of high and low patterns leaving me uncertain at the best of times you cannot hope to control the weather chaos is beyond the keen of mortals we just ride from one […]

i have spent my entire life without the understanding i cannot fly throwing myself off of every single ledge needing to soar yet always always always crashing and each time i get back up and prepare to leap into forever i do not consider if i will succeed the burning need to prove to the […]

these desires the longings which drive my foolish pursuit for that which doesn’t exist for someone as broken as me fuel the words which inevitably remain ignored yet doggedly still i chase my tail only to be infuriated when teeth finds flesh my disposable heart beats itself to death while my mind replays how i […]

the smiling faces covered in paint and gore happily milling about amongst monsters and famous killers while a fool roams in a haze of psilocybin even less certain of what is real around him a family of hillbillies in skin masks singing country roads with an accordian and a crowd in front of three corpses […]

i dislike crowds almost as much as i dislike any attention and the beginning of convention season is not lost on me as a horror i put myself through a bipolar poet trying to sell words to rabid horror fans when the true horror is existence itself a nihilist wrapped in ugly metaphors screaming emotions […]

the thunder shakes the concrete slabs of the darkened parking garage each vehicle frantically entering to avoid the inevitable incoming deluge bounces a fool as pent up as the gray delusion washing over an infinity of sunlit refractions the panther growls a fury of incessant need as it stalks among iron gray wisps i await […]

i am patient able to wait out the storms to troubleshoot complex systems to write epics i have zero patience when apps which are meant to streamline things do nothing but complicate what should be simple my work computer killed itself from the utter boredom of sitting on standby waiting for brief moments of use […]

a whirlwind of pins and needles i long to know how it feels to wake without the sullen serenade whispering sickly impossibilities into my broken brain a dour drenching of dire doubtful details overlaid on a perfectly average sunny day ever shifting poles and a mind determined to maintain a course of superb self destruction […]

awoke to a world gone still the city sits silent leaving a fool with no distractions from the inner voice screaming in the hollow bone cathedral of hope gone feral a lack of elasticity leaves me stretched out across the floor incapable of pulling myself into a semblance of functional assaulted by self evident truths […]

even when things seem at their worst consistency keeps the cycles from looping out of control but lately the only constant has been change a new position with a new vehicle new responsibilities yet the anxieties are all too familiar while screaming in a new way which pummels me anew i can accept it when […]

i ruined my mother’s life when she was just seventeen so what came next was likely not fully my fault even if it sure feels like it every single day

momentarily i miss you so much every single cell screams unanimously in acrimonious agony causing each star to pause. it all stops just your smile carved into my heart the same as my fingernails cut into my palms as i squeeze harderandharder pause. i don’t know when the you you were became the you you […]

the loneliness can sometimes feel so goddamned crippling yet the world outside is so fucking anxiety inducing a whirlwind filled with razorblades constantly slashing i tamp down need turn the music up a whole lot louder to let it drown out dream let them say all the things choking my every single breath it’s cheaper […]

i have taken to wearing a watch in an effort to become less reliant upon constantly checking my phone an interesting side effect is hearing what should be a consistent tick once per second through bipolar senses moments exist where i am stranded between ticks able to navigate the whole of the cosmos surf photons […]

call after call offering benefits i am not old enough to qualify for by robot voices who connect unerringly to adam in an indian call center filled with adams calling to make sure i am fully covered i have to answer the calls i receive anyone could be a customer calling and since i am […]

i have spent all my life chasing aspects which have no true existence outside yellowed philosophy tomes there is nothing but words to make up for a lack of substance no gods or love just another episode spent screaming until only blood comes out so when i say this tired runs six feet deep it’s […]

if an apple a day keeps the doctor away would a quart of holy water keep my demons at bay for a few minutes or is that just more wishful thinking i can’t tell if i am here or if i am dissociating into another realm being antisocial to the media which overly consumes the […]

bombarded by photons i am just an isotope in degradation electron displacement as my shells oscillate in time with nuclear dismay my mitochondria locked in full meltdown inadequate power giogi apparatuses gone dark as pixel perfect deception in denial details a crumbling infrastructure based in destructive distractions

the wind blows my ashes in an apology tour across the globe revisiting hearts which found nothing in the mirage resting in a fool’s delusion i am sorry i wasn’t enough even if i kept banging the drum announcing my myriad of flaws the illusion when the cycles mesh leads to moments of clarity in […]

i don’t belong herethereoranywhere and it is exhausting trying to pretend today i am too fucking tired to even try none of my performative masks seem to fit so pretending is off the docket i think i will hide until this passes or i do god willing and the creek don’t rise an end is […]

the fan mocks me oscillating spinning so very quickly yet never quite spinning out perhaps it is me have i become no more than a motor set with broken gears capable of only stuttering motions going nowhereatall incidental sparks dyingalone it takes moreandmore when all i have is less to give pitted bones from harvesting […]

the rain drops fall in calamaitous drops which slam against the windshield i stare at them calculating chaos as the insipid liquid creates distortions ohscuring the gray the only thought keeping me moving in the deluge of chilly bombardments is it has to fucking end eventually whether i mean the storm, the week or this […]

if failure were a competition i would be undefeated in consistency of defeat a feat unrivaled in the history of all mankind the unkind men are quick to remind i don’t believe in bad luck because without a glimpse of good it feels like another ponzi scheme

my circadian rhythms play like a one man band having a seizure as he falls down a spiral staircase wheezing profanities into the harmonica strapped to my mouth i am a human(ish) dreamcatcher stuck in prismatic decline each new year i begin to fear my best days are now far behind me yet each new […]

surfing high voltage is a tricky endeavor especially when you’re strapped to a lightning bolt simply by waking up it is disconcerting opening your eyes and immediately everything is already too fucking much of everything all at once i sizzle from ground point to ground point seeking to simply go to earth where it is […]

insects buzzing on the corpse of god a cacophony of semi-intelligent bottom feeders pretending to deserve a seat at the feast abdomens swollen on defiled divinity deified by deicide still the undecided deride in dimwitted denials and defiance a dire devolution in dreary disinterest

no matter how i rinse out my mouth the bitter taste of betrayal seems infused in my saliva so i spit despicable curses into the aether the angry fool pensively hunched on a throne of yellowed bone lost in a loop looking for hints which should have warned me the sky flashes with wicked strikes […]

the sparrows call out from the heavy fog a miasma choking the morning sun yet each note carries the faint sound of hope echoing through the hanging mist i saw you again last night while roaming the alleys in the back of my mind i didn’t approach even though i so desperately wished to be […]

i glow not from some inner beauty but pitted bones laced with radiation a human elephant foot making everything within kilometers an irradiated wasteland where dream goes to die these letters gleam menacingly in the darkness odes to roughly two hundred and thirty eight yous leaves a fool in a half life of isotopic decay

i have lost track of who it is i was supposed to be and i dislike the person everyone seems to see instead a literal litany in unlearned lessons leaving lesions leaking a loveless pus a stain vaguely human in low light the loneliness in needing to be left alone because i can’t let anyone […]

uncertain if i am walking on my hands or if my head is upside down once again unsure if the rotation of the earth keeps reversing or if the drugs are catching up to me days without any real sleep navigating torrentially theoretical storm clouds in my dogged pursuit of dreamdander diabolical delusions performing daily […]

life is just a set of schismatic watercolors pastel flurries in chalkdust disharmony a fractured indecent descent into senseless dissent i make it a hobby to scribble outside the lines a semicoherent collection of childhood drawings gone yellowed on the fridge scribbles in the margins doodles in place of any real answers i dream of […]

i am a bolt of lightning the scent of ozone crackles around me as i move at the speed of thought my synapses fire constantly leaving a fool sizzling as the thunderstorms roll in drawn by mania the sky thrums with potential as i spasm in full denial

she sits a plump spider emotionless pretending to be human going through the motions while slowly stitching silken strands to ensnare foolish wanderers she strikes swollen abdomen garish grin spindly legs dripping venom from gnarled fangs injecting lies savoring the final spasms as friend becomes victim a wretched cunt with her chained pet hopping pretending […]

there is an old saying too many chefs in the kitchen for a discombobulation of well meaning inefficient assholes ruining the already tenuous plans hastily enacted due to being reactionary rather than proactive it’s human nature to fuck up best intentions by trying to be helpful when being quiet and letting the supposed experts do […]

a sudden cold front leaves the sparrows in state of confusion an arctic intrusion erases tropical delusion until a fool sits alone beset by illusion my soul howls through the wind chimes a cacophony performed in d spair sharp enough to carve furrows flat enough to smother hope happiness has the same shelf life as […]

i long to be able to forget the ones who so easily abandoned me yet still i awaken with her name upon my lips an aching in my chest it is storming i am sick dreading a nap and the dreams which forever haunt me

either it is preparing for a mighty storm or god is drunkenly moving furniture between the two we probably need any rain we can get and i am pretty sure god skipped out on the lease millennia ago a day of storms as thunder reverberates across the sleeping city i hold yet another one way […]

i feel as if i need to become more malleable the constant stretching in random directions from all these sources seeking something from me i cannot define has me unraveling at a molecular level i yearn to rearrange the stunted strands in double helix despair into something vaguely more human than this homonculus concubine in […]

my heart isn’t a home it’s a derelict shack built on a fault line through no fault of mine this faulty mind shudders and quakes a fluidity in disregarding figurative physics because no one can explain to me how bumblebees fly the dichotomy in the loneliness of pushing people away for their own good i […]

i cannot stand the sight of the idiot staring at me from the mirror a goddamned fool with no self control incapable of seeing what an ass he is i am embarrassed by his actions when all he does is whatever the faulty chemicals whisper slipsliding to and fro a broken child to an significant […]

after the long weekend i find myself even more confused as to who it is i truly am fallingfarther into despair as pieces of myself crumble to dust it is incomprehensible i am anything more than a stain

a consistency in gray malaise draped across the mountains a scrawl of vines choking the green corpse hair clustered leaving lavender in stark contrast a dissociative alien landscape where the rains fall over tired travelers braving a cross country trek from texas to coastal virginia kudzu and wisteria as hawks circle over rolling hills congested […]

six days which swirled into one eighteen hundred miles traveled to spend the weekend surrounded by art a frantic blur smileshugslaughtertears a constant overload of culmination newfacesnewfriends old acquantices amid a sea of excitement phonefreenoscreens to filter through the bombardment now a fool sits alone once more rememberingexistence hoping the store of fresh hugs keeps […]

a crimson penumbra ebbing ominously a lurking malaise slowly overwhelming a fractured fool floating through a room of writers

so many faces warm smiles above cold lizard eyes

i don’t make friends i make family there is no in between with someone who is bipolar borderline and too obtuse the danger lays in not understanding when i am merely a tool when i thought we were family this is why the circle remains quite minuscule despite my wandering heart

big convention in virginia over the weekend got a bag full of psychedelics no sense of self and an entire event to dissociate from the idea of seeing my friends is counterbalanced by the constantcommerce so i will flit among the shadows smiling and pretending i know who anyone is an indistinct blur with unfocused […]

i have discovered some people are miserable no good rottenfetidsacksofshit i have also learned to trust my instincts some people only find joy in making others miserable what sad little nincompoops they truly are in the end all they have is the nothingness they cultivated because once exposed nothing is all they ever were

i never know to regret not getting to know someone but i find myself regretting letting some of these serpents in human disguise know me this is a lesson i need to take to fucking heart

karma isn’t real suffering is infinite while the universe remains apathetic six foot deep lay liars and saints

i haven’t read your work but i hear good things thank you i get that all the time as if there is success by best intent just empty words to make the madman feel better because he refuses to pander or beg

i know why the trapped fly wriggles despite the inherent hopelessness the multifaceted gaze of the indifferent predator feeling the signal thread tremble hypnotically i also understand why a fly would decide to never fly again

the sparrow hutch which was formerly occupied by my stuttering brain is a chaotic swirl where everything moves just too fast to be deciphered so i scribble alone in boand parking lot where the thoughts can seek seeds in the verdant growth over dour gray disinterest

ever have nothing as well as everything to say? so you say nothing while the everything eats you up?

the part of writingwhich appeals mostis after i have longturned to dustthe words live onunsullied by a fooli can be forgottenas anything but scarson the face of beautypockmarks on the whoremouth of creativity i was never really herein the first placean accumulation of scarsdraped over a longing forthings i was never meantto truly experience myself

too much attention increasing the tension in bipolar retention a penchant for remorseful fugues battered by a barrage internally manifested yet no less damaging nor self sufficient manifest destiny in inner distress leaving cracks racing across borderline misnomers

i am sorry i didn’t live up to the lofty expectations i wasn’t aware i was held to being honest did me no favors playing along only encourages erratic behavior in return you heard exactly what you wished despite the actual words which were succinctly spoken i could never let anyone else down with the […]

she isn’t just a serpent lurking venom dripping her reticulated network of lies spreads throughout the tall grass commiting character assassination from her lair of insanity weaving lies among gifts to assert control over victims then lashing out and burning it all because she believes she is above repercussions one day the snake queen will […]

anxiety has taken me hostage no negotiation simple demands end this atrocity masquerading as existence or the stomach lining gets ulcerated

in the heart of sheer chaos a fool sits loupe affixed using tweezers to stack fractals the trade off between a too open heart and a labyrithian mind makes the shifting soulshallows treacherous nigh impossible to navigate without a trustworthy guide i think he drowned somewhere south of the last disaster in phantom pantomime if […]

a consistent compression keeps the hair coil spring in a state of tension unyielding i have always had a fascination with watchmaking the complex gears moving in unison to mark the passage of a man-made convention i chase the high in fixing complex devices because as one of the irrevocably broken it gives a faint […]

one of my many manymanymanymany faults is easily idealizing things letting my brain color outside of the lines even as i see the truth the only time i am truly amazed is at the abject cruelty humans display as confidently as a peacock strutting this says more of me the apathetic fool yawning as the […]

i cannot hold back the torrent of tears i fear this storm will wash a fool away god’s mechanical heart wheezes as divinity is replaced with electrons a holy binary for the bipolar choir i weep endlessly for the transition as i slowly petrify giving my humanity to pacify the avarice in dullwitted deification a […]

i have a special place for all the broken because us misfits didnt choose to be different it isn’t easy not fitting in feeling alone in crowded rooms i was born skinless in this ocean of emotional dissonance where everything is always too fucking much so if you need to sit a spell in the […]

the tourbillon keeping my heart beating in time to the wobble of this desolate rock no longer seems to negate the effects of gravity leaving an oblong deformation to ventricles venting atrial anxieties in visceral vanity yet the purpose of the tourbillon remains an unnecessary accessory the same as the heart of a pedantic poet

the birds sing at seven o’clock a sure sign spring has certainly sprung bluebonnets and pastel colors fill a frantic fool with a lingering longing for more than the nothingness which makes the world feel ever so hollow a series of nesting dolls growing smaller chocolate bunnies and sheer desperation

i can feel when i slip too far the obsessive compulsions begin to wire my day it starts innocently a mantra to calm my head which becomes a repetition which becomes a light burning until i am knotted up trying to perform rituals i know are ineffectual i drive a lot one of the early […]

despite the dreariness hovering heavily the birds sing of better times to come. this is a lie i tell myself as morning dawns and i seek a spark to motivate away from cozy ideation. liquefied in a blanket cocoon yet never emerging as anything except lesser than what i was yesterday even farther from who […]

ambivalence is a disease yet apathy remains the path of least resistance and current, even rapidly oscillating, just yearns to go home. even if we have no fucking idea if home actually truly exists. i would like my ashes blended into eyeglass frames so i can see the world from someone else’s point of view […]

if things are orderly i pick apart the edges until it all falls to pieces. yet i thrive in chaos. if given the time to overthink myself into oblivion i will most certainly obliterate existence. when thrust into roiling chaos i snatch disparate threads to weave into abstract wonder. i feed off of my environment […]

i am mute a mannequin standing in the window staring out at an incomprehensible hellscape of fading color splotches undefined in molecular dismay. lashed to the stern a figurehead carved in constant turmoil straining against the lunacy of the ocean lost in the refractions salt crusted over hazel dissociations.

i would scream but there is no one to hear me so i sit lost reading scribbling accomplishing absolutely nothing. i doubt i truly exist in any meaningful way. i convert oxygen into carbon dioxide likely ineffectively and occupy space away from everyone those i thought were close were merely tropical delusions farther away than […]

it becomes dificult not knowing why you are being used and just sad when whatever use you had ends without any warning as much as i wish to be human i can never quite understand these self centered machinations nothing is really real just footnotes in a discarded journal being scribbled by an autistic god […]

you know the saying, dance as if no one is looking? this is my approach to writing. if i stopped and considered anyone reading my words i would be paralyzed with self doubt. humans prefer to pick scabs expose themselves in a private setting it is why bathrooms have doors. i live life performing the […]