lessness

hopelessly romantic leads to hopelessness when seeing hollywood endings seem to only occur in the movies my lips ache in time with my heartbeat hollowed out from souldeep longing for things that only exist in dream rapid oscillations have me reeling the celluloid ignites i watch the flames race along exposed beams unfrightened in billowing […]

dangerously loose in delirium

the pressure pulverizes bone into dust i don’t want to be this way anxious overwhelmed dissociating from stresses i cannot tell if are real or imagined the diving bell distorts displacing large bubbles rippling to a surface no one monitors a kink in the hose forming into thirteen loops i know the suicidal ideation is […]

downplayed and dismissed

the tipping point where dream fades into an oblivious oblivion as reality cuts off the last white knuckle clinging and all that remains is memories of pain miseries have a way of accumulating until all that remains is the fetid bits of happiness in bloody fangs snarling just outside the ring of diminishing golden light

pangs

as long as egos are fed your place in the order is secured but give less than normal and watch as their need becomes disdain no one cares if someone is starving when they have a full stomach but at the first hunger pang you see the change the smile becomes a snarl with gleaming […]

misconstrued

there are invisible layers monofilament threads spiderwebs crisscrossing every statement no matter how carefully i try to express this overwhelming endless dread the words are misconstrued and suddenly i am trying to navigate projected thoughts unadjacent to the initial struggle binding me in a hellacious loop of misunderstood agonized paralysis

unspoken

a timorous trembling in the morn flush with lugubrious sparrowsong awoken to a lack of color grayscale panic in a meticulous disdain rife with razored shadows slicing deep to unleash a torrent of tar black sludge enough to preserve this imperfect hellvision into perpetuity

nothing of value to be found

been locked into a game of emotional tetris trying to keep the rampant misshapen feelings carefully compacted before i explode all there is for a goddamned fool is hesitancy or outright dismissal as he grows smallerandsmaller until he finally vanishes completely my heart has become a derelict old abandoned gold mine once filled to overflowing […]

big heart

i have a big heart not to say i am overly compassionate or extra sweet and loving hyperbolic and mostly unwanted by the world at large no i have a big heart because the heart is a muscle and anxiety is the ultimate work out i imagine with how rapidly it seems to swoosh whoosh […]

lexicon of evils

i slit open my belly letting the fires of hell blacken the blade as magma drips in smoldering tear drops etching runes down tired cheeks shredded flesh revealing damnation in fractured bone every tyrannical arc of blinding agony calls forth an army of desolate truth i am the sum of incomprehensible emptiness colliding with universal […]

fizzled out

i keep missing the storm driving through aftermaths with a tinge of disappointment as the wet streets remind of the rainfall not meant for me all i see is what is not meant for a stain such as myself unable to catch the rains and be washed away into the sewer where my kind are […]

craving catastrophes

indolenthe stared outcursing the worldyet contentedto sitdoing nothingbut complaining insolentburning with asultry irreverencediscontentedwith a king’s shareof nothingto satiate the pain unrepentantcursing the absentdivinity with apetulant angerof an abandoned childwith only the scarswhere hope once lay a dire absentiacarving the corpseof happily ever afterinto a funeral pyrefor the dying dreamerscasually dying ofcasualities in aconfusion of condemnation

an intoxication of suffocated sighs

the air feelscoarseas it coursesthrough randompotholesbubbling outin temporal spasmsa grim rictusin arabesque reposecrimson petalsbloody tear dropsin a blizzard ofrazored realizationsmarrow tornfrom pockmarked boneby static phantomsin undulating cloakstorn from the voidmanifested directlyfrom the agoniestearing dream asunder seized byanxietiesif i think aboutbreathingi forget howto breathea conundrumin blinking spots fireflies danceacross my scalpas i wait patientlyfor darknessto hold […]

dour dehydration

the warehouse is a misery of stagnant heat the heavy fumes of acetone and dreary faces already done with the nascent week i feel myself melting with each step as the fog of chemicals flushes my brain the pieces lost extraneous in the dismal dungeon as escape becomes the only desire no matter how fast […]

three day declination

a tuesday suspiciously masquerading as a monday as soft snores fills the tiny little apartment a fool sits anxiously anticipating the malevolence of the week

drowning in two inches of rain

humming softly transitioning from potential to kinetic leaving scorch marks burnt in the sharp curve of a devil’s grin on your pretty little heart before dissipating a flash of energy illuminating all the negative space left haunted by what slipped away it doesn’t require a complex ritual the only sacrifice is of your precious time […]

in the shadows of giants

i never got to be a father on father’s day while my father was still alive leaves a hole that threatens to swallow me whole but i see him in the kids and that fills the pit with grains of bittersweet joy even if i am the only one who sees how he lives on […]

rapid oscillations

gingerly picking scabs these cursive recursions denatured signatures from love letters never sent unrequited in the quite cautious quiet of unsure heartquivers quaintly calling out in the dark

a manic meteor crashing into plastic dinosaurs

dancing withthe demonsleaking frommy aching headthe lost loveslike anchorslittle badgesstapled whimsicallyto a bipolar heartthe skeletonsin my closetplay dress upfaint notes ofsweet perfumestill lingeringtickling myhippocampuslashes of nettlesa burst of painto try andalleviate theswelling ofreplanting mywandering affectionnext to the wheezingseries of leakingvalves spillingmemories in adayglo dissentionas the hornsblare while i amunaware if it isthe music or thetraffic […]

if jackson pollack drank paint and pissed indignation.

careful fulfillment of routine keeps the butterfly (carnivorous bastard, he may be) from flapping his wings thusly allowing an illusion of control i am having issues telling what is really real and what is anxiety murmuring general gentle insanities keeping me awake long past my expiration trait a cask of amontillado gone to vinegar abound […]

What’s in the Box w/ a fool and his sister

What’s in the Box hosted by Eric Author and Donna Latham, had Candace Nola and I on a few weeks ago. They interviewed the various authors attending Texas AuthorCon, and it seems Ms Nola and I will be in attendance. Eric and Donna are great writers, and I have been fortunate to share a few […]

the chimes sing a song of sunken eyes and hurt

the clouds skim the darkness leaving patches of dark blue hints of a sun unwilling to shine down over an ineptitude of sultry sins the sparrows and i sit silently waiting for the day to dawn as coffee gurgles a bitter defiance to insomnial whining the particulates hang demurely to obscure the nascent rays seeking […]

something sad probably

the leylines thrum with untapped power i sit crisscross applesauce contemplating my navel little scars in the shape of devilishly angelic smiles scrape along hazel static scrubbing any trace of intrusive delusion from taking root in the salted plantation in the shape of a heart flowers ring the base of the hill i circle oncetwicethrice […]

asphalt enigmas

the world feels plasticized or i cannot reach through the mire of myopic dreariness encapsulating this moribund day to feel anything except things slipping away it definitely could just be me sitting in a lot watching construction yellow dinosaurs tearing apart roads scraping and chewing shitting out new lanes that look just about the fucking […]

decomposition #9

the meat suit is malfunctioning today the regulator keeping the voltage at functional levels seems to have gone kaput a crackling echoes each step and the coffee is doing little to equalize the cabin pressure in my skull to match the world in corrosive shades of petulant pastels there is no beauty to be seen […]

heart shaped comets soaring over vacant cities

can you imagine being filled to rupture yet none of what aches inside is anything anyone could possibly ever want? i cut myself to release pressure bleeding technicolor onto a world filled with foggy relapse leaving blinding images scarred into the asphalt dreamchannels between vacant hearts. the sparrows sing of the trail of blossoms heartthistle […]

embraced by the rain in dispassionate haze

there is no separation between cloud and building a haze a malaise in unfallen drops i sit out of phase unfazed in this fugue this funk this lackadaisical meandering in ever tightening swirls drained as the best parts of who i wish i was limply spins around the drain a self contained vaccuum untouched by […]

divisional

i am the secret you couldn’t keep the dream you couldn’t decipher the regret lingering upon your pretty tongue as you let me slip away still i wake your name full on my lips a discarded fool sipping coffee wondering why the storm won’t simply wash me away with the same casual disregard i saw […]

dilated

i lay down lying to myself sleep awaits the pillows overstuffed with whisper adorations cradle a head full of demons as the stars fade out onebyone and the darkness is a reflection of god’s retina dilated yet criminally oblivious to the plight of insomnial poets or the anxieties churning them into dust

mourning magma

how the lava slowly percolating in my stomach hasn’t burned through this husk to spill a river of anxietal angst scorching the scenic gray settled over this concrete cage is beyond me this too shall pass ulcerative elucidations in the silent mourning of the weekend’s past

disengaged

the alarm rang telling me my time staring at the ceiling as waves of anxiety compress my heart into a perfectly flawed blood diamond shining dully in her disengaged stare hard to gauge how bad things have gotten when it feels the same as always fallen into the repetitions the manic monster kept at arm’s […]

daffodils and sunshine daydreams

been darting between lightning strikes a series of glass footprints etched into the sand the only sign i was ever here the essence of reality is mercurial running between my fingers as i grasp for a momentary forever in an eternity of dreamnettles tracing surrender in defiant palpatations if the goddamned storms would just drown […]

the start of a breakdown

you’re shown your true worth when you are in desperate need and silence is your only lifeline after so many trips to the same destination it becomes all too clear a jester has only his obligation to make the queen feel happy his needs are of no real consequence this is forgotten in the happy […]

shhh

never a destination just a diversion a misunderstanding in an idiot’s heart seeking eternity in temporal thunder

frozen infernos

perceptionfrom perspectigerecognizingpatterns in thechaos churning despite bestintentions everythingends badlychemical deficienciesan unwillingnessin acceptance there is somethingso tempting inembracing insanitybut madness doublestime to expirationeveryone wants tobe the focal pointuntil they see itis a full time jobwatching the fooljuggle emotionalchainsaws constantly how many ground zerodetonations canthe human soulwithstand beforebecoming nothing butirradiated dust devilsbegging for scraps i leave lip […]

plot resolution

fuck hollywood and the forced happy endings where the plucky idiot gets the girl and they ride off happily into the sunset where’s the truth? sitting alone angrily rooting on the predictable plot knowing happy endings are fifty bucks at the massage parlor a real ending is not understanding what you did yet assuming the […]

shibari of light

there must be a pool where rainbows drain the colors run into a clarity in hued division do the seven separate strands crash back into a blinding white or fizzle into a hazy gray diffusion the same as a majestic waterfall against the slowly eroding stone beneath sleepless nights spent differentiating the disparate shades only […]

cartography for degenerates

leaving a trail of tattered scraps of the maps leading back to the homes that are only home in name places i have no intention of ever seeing again eyes forward the past is too easy to get lost in when i am not quite sure where i am at the present i know these […]

hungover and preaching armageddon

the city stretches tiredly shedding the sleepiness from stormy nights where the rains never quite found the ability to fall a pregnant longing under a magnification of solar insolence i woke under a pile of mostly empty bottles my left ear sounding a strangulation of stabbing reminders looking for one more sip of what ails […]

incongruent self caricatures

my name is a quicksand of shifting glyphs a rune etched with a thorn along the cardial nerve a shiver causing palpitations the devil glinting in my smirk an itch you cannot scratch my absence accentuates the hollowness of the relentless sorrow a hoarfrost silhouette dissipating in the summer sun a memory of hot breath […]

peakaboo

i feel gravity a little bit stronger today there is a restless denseness to my meat encased skeleton maybe my brain is just a bowling ball and reality is gleaming pins its all too heavy today though or i am too incorporeal to effect gravity i wonder how distorted the world around me becomes as […]

raisins dreaming of rain

after the sun has wizened the grape the rains do not return the raisin to its former glory this world knows only how to take the topsoil is littered with the desiccated corpses of dreamers if not given sustenance we slowly consume ourselves until our bodies fail our hearts and souls faded in starvation consuming […]

a reciprocation of doubt

a ripple in the darkness lavender waves smoky ethereal my fingers yearn to trail through the fabric of creation to find that spark in the embers of a sullen soul i sink into my hollow pulse aware always my heart beats itself to death each moment spent in the fugue is another closer to a […]

is it the swoosh of my heartbeat, or if the waves

i didn’t lose my voice just the confidence to use it effectually so the long interminable silences know the thoughts my deadened tongue cannot maneuver the fool watches apart from not a part of a comfortable discomfort in dreamdander longing sometimes the spiral is so gentle it barely feels like drowning rather it seems like […]

bitter beans

the coffee tastes off today too bitter or maybe that is just me as the pressure builds higherandhigher in inflamed cheeks the sky is silver light glinting off of a monomolecular blade slicing prismatically through hydrogen bonds severing the space between heartspasms in tired restraint

a reflection of naught

i lost faith became voiceless blank a fresh sheet of untarnished white yet the pencil tip was broken no mouth from which to scream a pseudoscientific mental mutation from ellison’s fondest dream unable to face the faceless fiend apathetically following my every panicked move a reflection of naught i am the devil and my greatest […]

pithy knot makers

the pigeons own the sidewalks as i sit on a side street watching the people through a golden diffusion in low laying pollution there is a certain serendipity to the strained sunlight burning off the layer of orange the angry horns as cars switch lanes with no blinker nor casual glances at objects that may […]

a hushed silence of hanging participles

i thought i lost my voice it just turned out i didn’t have anything worthy of being heard it isn’t until the words stop and the world keeps on wobbling when you get the true sense of worth maybe it’s forgotten a poet spends twice as long watching as they do spilling their guts out […]

no need for maps when it all ends the same

the clarity when mania dawns doesn’t lessen the sting of blank dismissal but it illuminates that which was shrouded in false refrains of best intentions gesticulated yet never truly acted upon the moonsick fool inept accept for pattern recognition sees the entire map tracing his fingers along the series of dead ends the broken lodestone […]

divinity is a razor

if i was made in god’s image then i imagine she is desperate for a little affection yet stares into forever silently the cottonwood dander flies around a blizzard of delusion the world has become an inverse snowglobe shaking in time to the ferocity of my pulse

no deposit, no return

can a new job turn the unlovable into something new? will a fair wage give value to a heart no one ever wanted? another new start as a fool finds failure in earnest attempts searching for solace in the silent solitude where the irredeemable lay there was no deposit on emotional investments just zero sum […]

pangs

the sparrows sing of a distortion in the swollen sorrows an exaggerated syncopation where dreamshit severance meets hollow acceptance reciprocated in a tempest of selfdisdain my lips form the words caught in my throat pantomiming my way through an affluence of homegrown agonies tracing nurtured neglects in an ever tightening spiral of frozen regret

delirium in ursa minor

a time lapse showing a star igniting from the nothingness expanding outwards burning itself out giving light to a disinterested universe only to grow too large to sustain itself before collapsing inwards in a virudescent maw of insatiable need just to reignite forcefed the same cyclical madness ad nauseam until one day there is nothing […]

outside the lines

lost in a world a vivid vivisection of dream kissed reality in a storm of passion’s fury only to crash headlong into a stained glass window concussed by the mundanity in frame was the light merely a careful refraction once picked apart photon by photon casts only lifeless shadows or has the swarm of dermestid […]

restraint

i count the broken fingernails rust colored remainders of escapes sought crescent moons driven between the bricks of this self manufactured penitentiary scribbling odes in anemic lines to be ignored by the rapt audience only interested in collecting the agonies of a fool vials of vile tears running down weathered cheeks pitting the smooth stone […]

the words are maggots in my throat

one day the bastards that never really knew me will try to make this humanoid molehill into a mountain of shaky lies but we will always know i am nothing but a tract of salted soil where your dreams go to die an inconvenience store where you can take what you want and never look […]

the view, circling the drain, is of an airplane crashing into your childhood home

slowly slipslidingin smaller and smallerconcentric circlessharing a sinuouscenter of centrifugalangst swinging outagainst the evershreaking psychosis i am a byproduct ofthe interminable rotsequestered in thesoul of creationa pustule marringthe smile of wonderan incongruent tumorconsuming the skyline i spent so longwrestling with the maniai began to fearit would never let gonow the hoarfrost slidesover my still heartand […]

a new ice age

wrapped up in a mythology of perpetual verdancy the painblossoms bloom in blasts of lavender along trigeminal dismay sneding tendrils of delicious agonies ravaging swollen sinal infractions letters tumble from a fumbling tongue a ferocity bathed in supple ignorance blue lips hung limply over chattering teeth as the birds croak a devilish dervish in distorted […]

florescent gospels

every line is a rorschach ink blots subject to individual interpretation taken out of context and twisted into a parody of heartfelt insecurities only whores and overnight gas station attendants seem to see the bitter truth hidden in sleepless faces a congregation of sinners preaching gospels in florescent malaise

(re)psycheling day

vacillatingbetweenthe emptinesswithin and thenothingnessthat is alla fool deserves don’t botherweighing my brokenon the scalesa single featherversus a lifetimedrowning in sinsyet unrepentantfeed my heartto the crocodilelurking deeplyin the burning sand there is nopunishment worsethan being thisvacillatingback and forthbetween icyemptinesses

using ugliness as a whetstone

i long to slice my face free from this insipid skull to fold it carefully into an origami swan a testimonial to bleeding hearts slapdashedly pinned to ragged sleeves yet another crimson reminder the pursuit of beauty begins with incomprehensible bouts of ugliness my soul is a tar pit preserving the fossilized hopes and adorations […]

insomania

at night i long for the sleepiness to crash against the mania as it crackles smothering the electrical discharges keeping my pulse just out of time to sleep to escape this rambunctious hell inside my hollow skull i am unable to understand how my heartbeat isn’t opening great fissures along the asphalt overpasses swaying concrete […]

boötes void

teetering to and fro uncertain footing staring into the boötes void which is the truest representation of a poet’s soul an overgratuity where various seething pools of emptiness congregate in a coagulation of whispering woes i am the darkness teasing with waves of inebriated nothingness in a consensually swaying obsolescence where deepest desires deteriorate dully […]

tracing unfamiliar familiarities

my brain is a rabid rabbit gnawing at the inside of my cavernous skull shivering at the edge of the most delightfully worrisome madnesses as silvery bells tolltolltoll the moon is alive with trickery a toothy grin in cratered repose blistering lunacy in multicolored pinwheels of stab stabby light can you hear the voices softly […]

the view from the edge is a wonder of destructive angles

the birds screamat the chalkdustmoon in a tumultuouslysequestered madnessunder wan blue skies driftingcarelessly throughpast participlesmy passive voicesounding out dismayshifting tensesto become adiscreetlysubliminal series ofdesecrated hymnalsmuttered dullyby pivotal criminals the sparrows arefrantically hoppingbegging for thesun to at lastcrest the horizon time is spastic ashoarfrost slowlyspreads across myorgans leaving a chillin crackling whorlsdementedly numbingspacial anomaliesas flash frozen […]

anamnesis

the world is sallow a blaisé anemia swaddled in amnesiatic blisterpacks swollen with lost dalliances in a rambunctiously roiling incontinence of frustrated echoes memories pop a sudden recollection in momentary regressions haunted by a past of faded dementias anamnestic in the battering of incidental images sullenly suffusing the blank slate pitted and scarred from random […]

the finch and the falcom

the finch and the falcon sit staring one in regal repose the other mockingly staring out a yellow jester beholding the queen’s royal court as the the seering sun rises high over a fool so far from home yet suddenly in proximity to his old one while staring like a finch at the falcon sitting […]

eighteen more

i still remember the first night we brought her home she lay crying in her bassinet until i cradled her close to me the entire night i remember racing to the hospital and hearing her heartbeat and in that moment knowing i would fight god to keep her safe that i was wrapped around her […]

we trap stardust in cardboard coffins to for entropy

the starlightseems sharper whenthe wind screamsthrough the windowthe acceleratortouches the flooryou are a streakan unguided missileroaring for oneglorious head oncollision with theever calling void i am a cometperpetually propelledin salacious solitudethroughout eternitypraying for onegravitational tugto send me flyinginto foreign soila smoking furrowfurloughs longa fitting end toa beleaguered bastard

a thimbleful of sugar in the maddening toxicity of loss

a jar filledwith moonbeamsthree teeth ofindeterminateorigins restingin a spiderwebcovered molcajeterow upon row ofoversaturateddreamcatcherslining the wallsto form a faradaycage to keep the sixsomnambulistic faeriesfrom fading to dustas a faint longingswirls sadly throughforgotten windchimesunswayed by thestilted animositybetwixt solemndjinns dejectedlydispelling wishesas feverishly asthey can be mutteredand the disinterestin the faintlyvacant stare ofsparrows hopping

everything

everythingis just sorelentlesslyeverythingall of thefucking time it needsto kindlystop beingoverwhelmingin its grittyeverythingnessjust untilthe bandsrelease andcool aircan ticklemy uvulaa moment’ssilence tostraighten outmy stilted pulsefind my centerand just tryto rememberto breathe an umbrellain an earthquakedoing nothingto shelterfrom thefalling chunksof manic debris some dayseverything justbecomes sofucking muchrelentlessly gratingall of thefucking time

an abundance of maggots

we are all maggots squirming along the fetid corpse of wonder gluttonously feeding on the detritus shed leaving only dreamshit fossils grains of sand lost in the bottom bulb in an eternity of supple regrets i stagger in the strobing effect of unfulfilled promises flashing with every blink uncertain if i exist in the now […]

titles are meaningless like everything else

i feel your absence so strongly some days it is as if a piece of my broken has dislodged itself from my heart and technicolor floods my chest cavity grown from the saccharine my empty mind pumps all day an amateur astronaut performing a space walk untethered to the vessel ill prepared to do anything […]

thoughts and tire irons

maybe if during the next great tragedy instead of sending thoughts and prayers we all gang up and try to guilt god into doing something besides take up space in our imaginations if the divine maker gets credit for all of the beauty then the motherfucker gets the blame as well if we were created […]

company

misery comesknocking at the doorfour in the morningand she needscompany as the longweekend fades intoanother week ofrepetition of thesame ingrained routinesthat do nothing exceptsummon her wispy form a bezoar of tarnishedrazor wire spinningever faster in thepit of my hollowshredding tissue paperorgans in the plastictorso of a semi sentientpartially poetic everfailing sex doll a malevolent cloudof […]

silent sirens

muting the mutiny in my pirate ship of a brain as i sit in the crow’s nest looking through a spyglass out into a world i have issues making out considering a controlled lobotomy to quiet the tremulous bits of gray matter a reverse flowers for algernon where the fool slips into blissful ignorance as […]

glitched

there’s a glitch random static a corruption in my code rebooting into infinity a schismatic error cycle in recombinant scraps of dna it isn’t birdsong at all random notes buffering in crackling bursts i scream unheard in a vortex of pure white noise a blizzard whipping spastically in a feedback loop

blink

owls orspidersi can’t tellbut i feeleyes on meeven inthe darkness i don’trightly knowwhat theyexpect to see a manic assholeself destructinghis way throughthe absurdityof existencein a public displayof emotional nudity the spidersskitter acrossmy brainfeeding on mymadness growingfatter as the owltwists its headuntil i grow dizzysilent wingstalons tearingacross my scalpseeking the plumpmorsels hiding they stareunblinkingunaware i haveno […]

petals swirling

we stooda sea of barelyrestrained agoniesculminatingin the sterilehalls whileour fingersworried the grainsof bitter lossinto cottonytufts of sorrow rocked by thesheer senselessnesstortured byabsurdity andbashed againstthe uncaring shore my heart wastorn asunder bythe pain unfilteredin the blank staresof my loved onesand i would strikedown heaven itselfto alleviate thepointless sufferingto stab the uncaringgaze of divinityto right thistragic fucking […]

royse city

the people are so happy to be at buc-ees if you’ve never been to one take every single american stereotype dip it in barbeque sauce and serve it with a side of the cleanest restrooms on the highway but they meander gawking and stopping as if this is a mythical land of the american dream […]

the weight of the heavens

atlas bears the weight of the heavens yet it is but a fraction the weight of loss born by my loved ones today we can try and help shoulder the burden they carry allow them a brief momentary relief from the agony atlas bears the weight of the heavens grown heavier by one new soul […]

beware the candy pusher

i shouldhave sold candysmall little treatsto rot your teethrather thanbiting littleodes that rotyour sugary soul nine out of tencardiologistsrecommend candybecause onceyou’ve becomea poet’s focusheroin is farleas detrimental this stuff i ampeddling will leavean aching cavityin your chestno amount of novacainecan begin to numbas you writheneeding a little more you could becomeone of the childrenof the […]

the score is tied null all going into overtime

he seethes the moon bright in his eyes lost in the diffusion of golden light through the branches softly sung serenades of surrendering hang themselves in thirteen loops around his throat chalkdust hangs a blizzard in may of belabored spectacle a mayhem of hells gently flickering just out of reach

here

been inside my head a little too much today i don’t like it very much facing things carefully packed away searching for the me i lost some ways back down the road the current iteration fears the old one will rewrite me i don’t want to go away i barely even hate it here

buckets

i feel like a rusted bucket spilling out my blood quicker than the inclement storms can top me back off again my instincts are screaming to hide i am far too vulnerable and everything is confusing wheezing dust dried blood cells caught in the crevices of arterial plaque the saddest self mocking snow globe in […]

riding a unicorn down rainbow lined candy streets

i can’t find any comfort in my own skin as the sky goes from ominous to crystal clear azure illusion fluctuating mocking me as i vibrate in confused misery smaller i shrink as faulty processors deconstruct ancient code into a series of chemical flashes an acetate perversion overlaid on truths held self evidence as i […]

nothing else

ace of spadesat full volumeas the coffeemaker sputtersthe vise gripsqueezes outlavender arcsand if i let itthe day will beawash in ephemeraldarkness and lostinstead i stutterjerk in a spasticrictus as iggyscreams aboutbeing my dogoverloading theflashes into asonic haze asbatteries soakmy tongue andthe stinging nettlesraise angry redreminders to thebest laid plans ofmice and fools a creature ofcarefully […]

zen, and the art of self sabotage

nirvana is the moment when the mania calms and before the depression swells where the hyperbolic mask slips and the world is a sublime watercolored dream the peaks and valleys even out emotions trickle rather than constantly pummeling me into submission i exhale love serendipitously between gasps a lightning rod firmly planted in a bipolar […]

songbird

my songbird has her final choir recital this evening and while every part of me longs to see her spread her wings and fly she is my baby girl i know i cannot stop this world from enacting the price it takes from each of us i cannot be there to hold her or protect […]

foggy

the clouds kiss the asphalt as the city lays swaddled in a sleepy fog steel gray wisps i tunnel through as the canary in my chest flutters against the bars of its ivory bone cage as fumes flood the centralized nervousness shivering wandering ripples in the haze hovering around me

nearly

at my lowest i optimized nihilism nowadays i feel as if it has transitioned into a contentious optimistic nihilism a hopeful understanding this irrational existence is one of uncontested beauty absolutely meaningless but stunning the birds sing joyous in the sprinkling drops of a sudden spring shower as i chase rainbows glimmering over the freshly […]

north belt line rd

a lone treesilhouetted bythe spectrallybillowing gray dust devilsdrifting pasttattered wisps ofspiderwebbedsins in a slowswarm awaitingthis new hell slowlysauntering ontothe indistinctsmear of a horizon vivisected inearly morning deliriumsa vicious virudescencevanquishing dreamin a vivaciouslyvivid indifference a lone treesilhouetted inan undulatingdisruption of gray

wax latticework

there’s abuzzingas if anotificationhas vibratedyet my phoneis in my handinnocentlynotificationfree the storyis flowingi am tensedfrom tryingto maintaina present tensewhere pasttenses unravelmy brain still the buzzsounds offtwo times for thethird timei sift throughthe coffee tablecubbies seekinga phantom phonei know doesnot exist i try totap out somepithy yetultimatelyvacuous prosebut now i sitpast tensedwaiting forthe buzzing so focusedon […]

mirrored

breath fogs against the glass unveiling hidden symbology in the reordered atomic dissention of silica sand an ancient pact illuminated in the beading mist of expelled dread compounded into tiny grains of windshattered shell superheated and forced into a rigid crystalline structure overlaid with silver strata to reflect the dejected stare lost in the secret […]