the city stretches tiredly shedding the sleepiness from stormy nights where the rains never quite found the ability to fall a pregnant longing under a magnification of solar insolence i woke under a pile of mostly empty bottles my left ear sounding a strangulation of stabbing reminders looking for one more sip of what ails […]

my name is a quicksand of shifting glyphs a rune etched with a thorn along the cardial nerve a shiver causing palpitations the devil glinting in my smirk an itch you cannot scratch my absence accentuates the hollowness of the relentless sorrow a hoarfrost silhouette dissipating in the summer sun a memory of hot breath […]

i feel gravity a little bit stronger today there is a restless denseness to my meat encased skeleton maybe my brain is just a bowling ball and reality is gleaming pins its all too heavy today though or i am too incorporeal to effect gravity i wonder how distorted the world around me becomes as […]

after the sun has wizened the grape the rains do not return the raisin to its former glory this world knows only how to take the topsoil is littered with the desiccated corpses of dreamers if not given sustenance we slowly consume ourselves until our bodies fail our hearts and souls faded in starvation consuming […]

a quiet contemplation of spitting in a wishing well as the bass buzzes the back of my brains stem dizzy from following the needle as it spins in a madness of misdirections an inverse urchin a magician’s assistant in an act of wretched disdain savoring the swords for the contact off balance my center has […]

a ripple in the darkness lavender waves smoky ethereal my fingers yearn to trail through the fabric of creation to find that spark in the embers of a sullen soul i sink into my hollow pulse aware always my heart beats itself to death each moment spent in the fugue is another closer to a […]

i didn’t lose my voice just the confidence to use it effectually so the long interminable silences know the thoughts my deadened tongue cannot maneuver the fool watches apart from not a part of a comfortable discomfort in dreamdander longing sometimes the spiral is so gentle it barely feels like drowning rather it seems like […]

the coffee tastes off today too bitter or maybe that is just me as the pressure builds higherandhigher in inflamed cheeks the sky is silver light glinting off of a monomolecular blade slicing prismatically through hydrogen bonds severing the space between heartspasms in tired restraint

i lost faith became voiceless blank a fresh sheet of untarnished white yet the pencil tip was broken no mouth from which to scream a pseudoscientific mental mutation from ellison’s fondest dream unable to face the faceless fiend apathetically following my every panicked move a reflection of naught i am the devil and my greatest […]

the pigeons own the sidewalks as i sit on a side street watching the people through a golden diffusion in low laying pollution there is a certain serendipity to the strained sunlight burning off the layer of orange the angry horns as cars switch lanes with no blinker nor casual glances at objects that may […]

i thought i lost my voice it just turned out i didn’t have anything worthy of being heard it isn’t until the words stop and the world keeps on wobbling when you get the true sense of worth maybe it’s forgotten a poet spends twice as long watching as they do spilling their guts out […]

i can’tdecant kantwithoutconsideringthe internetis the truestform ofdisprovingall he proposed hard to definea moving target

the clarity when mania dawns doesn’t lessen the sting of blank dismissal but it illuminates that which was shrouded in false refrains of best intentions gesticulated yet never truly acted upon the moonsick fool inept accept for pattern recognition sees the entire map tracing his fingers along the series of dead ends the broken lodestone […]

if i was made in god’s image then i imagine she is desperate for a little affection yet stares into forever silently the cottonwood dander flies around a blizzard of delusion the world has become an inverse snowglobe shaking in time to the ferocity of my pulse

can a new job turn the unlovable into something new? will a fair wage give value to a heart no one ever wanted? another new start as a fool finds failure in earnest attempts searching for solace in the silent solitude where the irredeemable lay there was no deposit on emotional investments just zero sum […]

the sparrows sing of a distortion in the swollen sorrows an exaggerated syncopation where dreamshit severance meets hollow acceptance reciprocated in a tempest of selfdisdain my lips form the words caught in my throat pantomiming my way through an affluence of homegrown agonies tracing nurtured neglects in an ever tightening spiral of frozen regret

a time lapse showing a star igniting from the nothingness expanding outwards burning itself out giving light to a disinterested universe only to grow too large to sustain itself before collapsing inwards in a virudescent maw of insatiable need just to reignite forcefed the same cyclical madness ad nauseam until one day there is nothing […]

there is a typo in my copy of green rock, winthrop bay where pier is spelled piet which fits the dour work of churlish intent yet each time i come across it a flaw transcribed into flawlessness i smile sadly my every myopic polarity swing has a mirror in her words and even the flaw […]

lost in a world a vivid vivisection of dream kissed reality in a storm of passion’s fury only to crash headlong into a stained glass window concussed by the mundanity in frame was the light merely a careful refraction once picked apart photon by photon casts only lifeless shadows or has the swarm of dermestid […]

i count the broken fingernails rust colored remainders of escapes sought crescent moons driven between the bricks of this self manufactured penitentiary scribbling odes in anemic lines to be ignored by the rapt audience only interested in collecting the agonies of a fool vials of vile tears running down weathered cheeks pitting the smooth stone […]

one day the bastards that never really knew me will try to make this humanoid molehill into a mountain of shaky lies but we will always know i am nothing but a tract of salted soil where your dreams go to die an inconvenience store where you can take what you want and never look […]

slowly slipslidingin smaller and smallerconcentric circlessharing a sinuouscenter of centrifugalangst swinging outagainst the evershreaking psychosis i am a byproduct ofthe interminable rotsequestered in thesoul of creationa pustule marringthe smile of wonderan incongruent tumorconsuming the skyline i spent so longwrestling with the maniai began to fearit would never let gonow the hoarfrost slidesover my still heartand […]

wrapped up in a mythology of perpetual verdancy the painblossoms bloom in blasts of lavender along trigeminal dismay sneding tendrils of delicious agonies ravaging swollen sinal infractions letters tumble from a fumbling tongue a ferocity bathed in supple ignorance blue lips hung limply over chattering teeth as the birds croak a devilish dervish in distorted […]

every line is a rorschach ink blots subject to individual interpretation taken out of context and twisted into a parody of heartfelt insecurities only whores and overnight gas station attendants seem to see the bitter truth hidden in sleepless faces a congregation of sinners preaching gospels in florescent malaise

vacillatingbetweenthe emptinesswithin and thenothingnessthat is alla fool deserves don’t botherweighing my brokenon the scalesa single featherversus a lifetimedrowning in sinsyet unrepentantfeed my heartto the crocodilelurking deeplyin the burning sand there is nopunishment worsethan being thisvacillatingback and forthbetween icyemptinesses

an oil slick of virudescent filth between my mind and the feelings withered on the decayed vines strangling this frenetically frantic fool freezing to death in the shallow end of an ocean filled with misbegotten tears my teeth chatter an incessant ode to daydreams crushed and snorted on the way to fetid tomorrows filled with […]

i long to slice my face free from this insipid skull to fold it carefully into an origami swan a testimonial to bleeding hearts slapdashedly pinned to ragged sleeves yet another crimson reminder the pursuit of beauty begins with incomprehensible bouts of ugliness my soul is a tar pit preserving the fossilized hopes and adorations […]

at night i long for the sleepiness to crash against the mania as it crackles smothering the electrical discharges keeping my pulse just out of time to sleep to escape this rambunctious hell inside my hollow skull i am unable to understand how my heartbeat isn’t opening great fissures along the asphalt overpasses swaying concrete […]

teetering to and fro uncertain footing staring into the boötes void which is the truest representation of a poet’s soul an overgratuity where various seething pools of emptiness congregate in a coagulation of whispering woes i am the darkness teasing with waves of inebriated nothingness in a consensually swaying obsolescence where deepest desires deteriorate dully […]

my brain is a rabid rabbit gnawing at the inside of my cavernous skull shivering at the edge of the most delightfully worrisome madnesses as silvery bells tolltolltoll the moon is alive with trickery a toothy grin in cratered repose blistering lunacy in multicolored pinwheels of stab stabby light can you hear the voices softly […]

the birds screamat the chalkdustmoon in a tumultuouslysequestered madnessunder wan blue skies driftingcarelessly throughpast participlesmy passive voicesounding out dismayshifting tensesto become adiscreetlysubliminal series ofdesecrated hymnalsmuttered dullyby pivotal criminals the sparrows arefrantically hoppingbegging for thesun to at lastcrest the horizon time is spastic ashoarfrost slowlyspreads across myorgans leaving a chillin crackling whorlsdementedly numbingspacial anomaliesas flash frozen […]

i left my voice somewhere back in ozarks and my heart om a deck overlooking a bush shaped like a bunny

the world is sallow a blaisé anemia swaddled in amnesiatic blisterpacks swollen with lost dalliances in a rambunctiously roiling incontinence of frustrated echoes memories pop a sudden recollection in momentary regressions haunted by a past of faded dementias anamnestic in the battering of incidental images sullenly suffusing the blank slate pitted and scarred from random […]

the finch and the falcon sit staring one in regal repose the other mockingly staring out a yellow jester beholding the queen’s royal court as the the seering sun rises high over a fool so far from home yet suddenly in proximity to his old one while staring like a finch at the falcon sitting […]

i still remember the first night we brought her home she lay crying in her bassinet until i cradled her close to me the entire night i remember racing to the hospital and hearing her heartbeat and in that moment knowing i would fight god to keep her safe that i was wrapped around her […]

the starlightseems sharper whenthe wind screamsthrough the windowthe acceleratortouches the flooryou are a streakan unguided missileroaring for oneglorious head oncollision with theever calling void i am a cometperpetually propelledin salacious solitudethroughout eternitypraying for onegravitational tugto send me flyinginto foreign soila smoking furrowfurloughs longa fitting end toa beleaguered bastard

a jar filledwith moonbeamsthree teeth ofindeterminateorigins restingin a spiderwebcovered molcajeterow upon row ofoversaturateddreamcatcherslining the wallsto form a faradaycage to keep the sixsomnambulistic faeriesfrom fading to dustas a faint longingswirls sadly throughforgotten windchimesunswayed by thestilted animositybetwixt solemndjinns dejectedlydispelling wishesas feverishly asthey can be mutteredand the disinterestin the faintlyvacant stare ofsparrows hopping

everythingis just sorelentlesslyeverythingall of thefucking time it needsto kindlystop beingoverwhelmingin its grittyeverythingnessjust untilthe bandsrelease andcool aircan ticklemy uvulaa moment’ssilence tostraighten outmy stilted pulsefind my centerand just tryto rememberto breathe an umbrellain an earthquakedoing nothingto shelterfrom thefalling chunksof manic debris some dayseverything justbecomes sofucking muchrelentlessly gratingall of thefucking time

we are all maggots squirming along the fetid corpse of wonder gluttonously feeding on the detritus shed leaving only dreamshit fossils grains of sand lost in the bottom bulb in an eternity of supple regrets i stagger in the strobing effect of unfulfilled promises flashing with every blink uncertain if i exist in the now […]

you can quote socrates or sing along to op ivy but until you finally accept you know so very little compared to the vast knowledge floating loosely in the æther you’re only really fooling yourself

i feel your absence so strongly some days it is as if a piece of my broken has dislodged itself from my heart and technicolor floods my chest cavity grown from the saccharine my empty mind pumps all day an amateur astronaut performing a space walk untethered to the vessel ill prepared to do anything […]

maybe if during the next great tragedy instead of sending thoughts and prayers we all gang up and try to guilt god into doing something besides take up space in our imaginations if the divine maker gets credit for all of the beauty then the motherfucker gets the blame as well if we were created […]

misery comesknocking at the doorfour in the morningand she needscompany as the longweekend fades intoanother week ofrepetition of thesame ingrained routinesthat do nothing exceptsummon her wispy form a bezoar of tarnishedrazor wire spinningever faster in thepit of my hollowshredding tissue paperorgans in the plastictorso of a semi sentientpartially poetic everfailing sex doll a malevolent cloudof […]

muting the mutiny in my pirate ship of a brain as i sit in the crow’s nest looking through a spyglass out into a world i have issues making out considering a controlled lobotomy to quiet the tremulous bits of gray matter a reverse flowers for algernon where the fool slips into blissful ignorance as […]

there’s a glitch random static a corruption in my code rebooting into infinity a schismatic error cycle in recombinant scraps of dna it isn’t birdsong at all random notes buffering in crackling bursts i scream unheard in a vortex of pure white noise a blizzard whipping spastically in a feedback loop

owls orspidersi can’t tellbut i feeleyes on meeven inthe darkness i don’trightly knowwhat theyexpect to see a manic assholeself destructinghis way throughthe absurdityof existencein a public displayof emotional nudity the spidersskitter acrossmy brainfeeding on mymadness growingfatter as the owltwists its headuntil i grow dizzysilent wingstalons tearingacross my scalpseeking the plumpmorsels hiding they stareunblinkingunaware i haveno […]

the people are so happy to be at buc-ees if you’ve never been to one take every single american stereotype dip it in barbeque sauce and serve it with a side of the cleanest restrooms on the highway but they meander gawking and stopping as if this is a mythical land of the american dream […]

atlas bears the weight of the heavens yet it is but a fraction the weight of loss born by my loved ones today we can try and help shoulder the burden they carry allow them a brief momentary relief from the agony atlas bears the weight of the heavens grown heavier by one new soul […]

i shouldhave sold candysmall little treatsto rot your teethrather thanbiting littleodes that rotyour sugary soul nine out of tencardiologistsrecommend candybecause onceyou’ve becomea poet’s focusheroin is farleas detrimental this stuff i ampeddling will leavean aching cavityin your chestno amount of novacainecan begin to numbas you writheneeding a little more you could becomeone of the childrenof the […]

he seethes the moon bright in his eyes lost in the diffusion of golden light through the branches softly sung serenades of surrendering hang themselves in thirteen loops around his throat chalkdust hangs a blizzard in may of belabored spectacle a mayhem of hells gently flickering just out of reach

been inside my head a little too much today i don’t like it very much facing things carefully packed away searching for the me i lost some ways back down the road the current iteration fears the old one will rewrite me i don’t want to go away i barely even hate it here

i feel like a rusted bucket spilling out my blood quicker than the inclement storms can top me back off again my instincts are screaming to hide i am far too vulnerable and everything is confusing wheezing dust dried blood cells caught in the crevices of arterial plaque the saddest self mocking snow globe in […]

i can’t find any comfort in my own skin as the sky goes from ominous to crystal clear azure illusion fluctuating mocking me as i vibrate in confused misery smaller i shrink as faulty processors deconstruct ancient code into a series of chemical flashes an acetate perversion overlaid on truths held self evidence as i […]

i speak in metaphors yet take everything literally so when there is a disconnect the fool talking to the fucking sparrows is likely the cause

ace of spadesat full volumeas the coffeemaker sputtersthe vise gripsqueezes outlavender arcsand if i let itthe day will beawash in ephemeraldarkness and lostinstead i stutterjerk in a spasticrictus as iggyscreams aboutbeing my dogoverloading theflashes into asonic haze asbatteries soakmy tongue andthe stinging nettlesraise angry redreminders to thebest laid plans ofmice and fools a creature ofcarefully […]

nirvana is the moment when the mania calms and before the depression swells where the hyperbolic mask slips and the world is a sublime watercolored dream the peaks and valleys even out emotions trickle rather than constantly pummeling me into submission i exhale love serendipitously between gasps a lightning rod firmly planted in a bipolar […]

my songbird has her final choir recital this evening and while every part of me longs to see her spread her wings and fly she is my baby girl i know i cannot stop this world from enacting the price it takes from each of us i cannot be there to hold her or protect […]

the clouds kiss the asphalt as the city lays swaddled in a sleepy fog steel gray wisps i tunnel through as the canary in my chest flutters against the bars of its ivory bone cage as fumes flood the centralized nervousness shivering wandering ripples in the haze hovering around me

at my lowest i optimized nihilism nowadays i feel as if it has transitioned into a contentious optimistic nihilism a hopeful understanding this irrational existence is one of uncontested beauty absolutely meaningless but stunning the birds sing joyous in the sprinkling drops of a sudden spring shower as i chase rainbows glimmering over the freshly […]

a lone treesilhouetted bythe spectrallybillowing gray dust devilsdrifting pasttattered wisps ofspiderwebbedsins in a slowswarm awaitingthis new hell slowlysauntering ontothe indistinctsmear of a horizon vivisected inearly morning deliriumsa vicious virudescencevanquishing dreamin a vivaciouslyvivid indifference a lone treesilhouetted inan undulatingdisruption of gray

there’s abuzzingas if anotificationhas vibratedyet my phoneis in my handinnocentlynotificationfree the storyis flowingi am tensedfrom tryingto maintaina present tensewhere pasttenses unravelmy brain still the buzzsounds offtwo times for thethird timei sift throughthe coffee tablecubbies seekinga phantom phonei know doesnot exist i try totap out somepithy yetultimatelyvacuous prosebut now i sitpast tensedwaiting forthe buzzing so focusedon […]

breath fogs against the glass unveiling hidden symbology in the reordered atomic dissention of silica sand an ancient pact illuminated in the beading mist of expelled dread compounded into tiny grains of windshattered shell superheated and forced into a rigid crystalline structure overlaid with silver strata to reflect the dejected stare lost in the secret […]

i am buffering driving in a storm already blown past the clouds long parted for cerulean lies sunlight interspersed with rain a conflict in static bursts as i drive the same half mile in fractal malformations fragmenting in a deluge of delusions blinded by the refracting reflections growing into infinity in my prismatically looping gaze

so many words i long to speak except i let my tongue remain sheathed in silence for so long they no longer know how to tumble out instead they unsteadily accumulate in my throat.

i drift aimlessly between apathetic and apprehensive a tumbleweed blowing through a no man’s land of wavering constitution detached from yet excruciatingly aware of reality an associate’s degree in the art of dissociation working on a doctorate in sucidal ideation skipping innocuously through a hailstorm of razored dissent pockets full of apple seeds and cherry […]

the moodhas settled intoa malaiseas the minutestick closerto leaving anxietyan iron maideninterwoveninto subcutaneouslayered regretdigging deeperthrough eachstrained breath sundays area toxic tidalslammingagainst the crumblingshore of joy i sit smokingas the cliff facefalls around meindifferentlysquintinginto the setting sununderstandingeven as it allfalls apartfor some unknownfucking reason i will stillbe here a semi sentientimplement ofself destructionedging outinto eternity

lost in the swirl a cinnamon rasen carefully spun between golden dough kneaded and cut as sunlight spreads to ignite the stillness with notes of earthy aromas a hoarfrost of icing lazily pooling on the superheated glass filling each crevice with a sinuous glaze of delightful sweetness lost in the subtle beauty of sleepy creation […]

light flowsthroughmy collection ofscars andshimmeringinsignificances my micronthin membranefluctuatesin the morningbreeze as ifloat on fitfully an oil slickedbubble wobblingthrough a bipolarhellscape ofstabbing thornsand winsome smiles extracting beautyfrom my septicemiascrawling notesof loving intentin this blackenedcoagulation of hope

stiff bristles stained cup fingers tremble purple drips a staccato beat onto the beige drip drip drip the hiss of steam as the sun rises to half paint a sky of incipient hells the paper flutters or perhaps it is my heart as it contemplates the necessary brush strokes to watercolor the weekend in shades […]

you’d think as often as the anxiety visits it would be a familiar friend it feels the need to remind me the sky is falling even as i sit bathed in blue picks apart the threads of joy until everything is a tangled mess cannot take a hint to leave lamenting things as yet to […]

he spent years a lowly pauper begging at the doorway to the house of eros threadbare spirit tattered yet he remained devout despite the agonies let loose in a storm of quivering heart shaped arrows shaking a bowl of unread declarations existing in the blindspot of divinity in service of sanguine serendipities a beggar on […]

it is so still the only sounds are the ceiling fan wobbling and my heart playing a drum solo over the fevered notes of longing strumming in the dark the mad kimg of the sparrows pacing all night lomg the floor littered with failed attempts at capturing perfection

what is a poet but a half cocked philosophy drop out espousing on rhetoricals and seeking to define ethereal ideals with a cocksure sense of stupidity misquoting greats misspelling those sloppy heartfelt declarations mistaking kindnesses and misusing drugs using big words to hide the tiny thoughts less a writer than a deluded stage magician seeking […]

reeling asthe concussivearcs racein lavenderstreaks pittingthe inside ofmy hollow skullrandom blackeneddots formingthe firmament ofmy desperate pleas fluctuatingbetween the gapsin god’s crooked smileseeking thepunchline incosmic inequity a jacob’s ladderof manic voltageeroding eraser tipswith every singlesecond guessrefracted in theozone sizzling asamethyst plasmacarves furrows inmy gelatinous truthto trap moonbeamsswollen with sighs each blink paintswatercolored halosdistorting the roomso i […]

the coffee percolates over the chaos of trilling birdsong a sweeping sound rustling the pages of books haphazardly scattered about the room from another insomnial losing effort pencil shavings drift across the coffee ringed table the entire world feels electrified my leg bounces along with the frenetic energy suffusing the air all around me as […]

latelyi haven’t beenas obsessedwith writingpoetry insteadi have beenliving it pays the sameand i don’thave to hidebehind metaphors i thinki am tiredof hiding i may notsee myselfbut i canidentifythe epicenterin this greatrippling waveof devastation my heartbeatleaves designsetched in the siltcalling outin flashes ofhazel distortionto summon thejellyfish swarmin a ballet ofdelicious stings less obsessedwith writingthe poetrythan running […]

a brown mouse sits whiskers twitching as the breeze sweeps through the fields of lavender blooms crouching low as the shadows circle high above little heart hammers in a sudden flash of deadly exposure wings spread lazily drifting on thermals coalescing between concrete spires staring unblinkingly at fluttering fields of fresh flowers a blur of […]

a crickettrapped in anivory skullbatters itselfto be freeknowing there isno escaping theconfines of thiscavernous hellawash in anoversaturation ofblind dismissals the dry crackingof yesterday’ssundered smileswind swept as leaveslittering thecreases of a brainbruised from theconcussive blowsof furiously delfectedmisguided attentions a lonesomecrickettrapped in thishollowed outhallowed hallwaysetched fromheartfelt hellsvibratingin the darknessa song ofloving agonies

i was once someone’s dream i guess they must have woken up and i don’t know what to do with myself so i sit patiently hoping they dream of me once more

my heart is a dyslexic dictionary with no rosetta stone just dead end dreamscapes in the moments between bated breaths i am the hesitation in your pulse as your fingers trace the paths you long to feel my tongue lazily follow trusting the inherent sense of direction to lead to the kind of happy conclusion […]

how do you rectify knowing despite how you bleed your suffering does not pacify the masses insatiable desire for familiarity in a stagnancy of similar flotsam your art is little more than a billboard faded and half peeled off by the ceaseless howling gales once vibrant now pixels picked apart by the bored hands of […]

love notes fluttering over unmarked minefields an explosion of technicolor heartdander igniting the electric purple clouds into neon epitaphs for the forevers we squandered

i carry a tiny silver hammer to shatter the delusions grown as scales over my sinful stare a panted liturgy kneeling on the remnants of yesterday’s purloined promises the growing pool of crimson indecisions unheeded in the midst of prayer a million eyes staring through cracked mirrors as i glide smokily incongruent a phantom kiss […]

my happiness is a castle made out of sand and my mind is the seawater dissolving the foundation eroding the firmament with an unacceptance this cathedral is one i deserve i don’t see the world the same way others do and i don’t see myself at all a walking smudge light bending around my wavy […]

a cardinal ashamed of his crimson cloak stoically bashing his hollow skull against the tree trunk hoping to become a woodpecker so frazzled they strapped him to a telescoping stage and forced him to perform once an hour the mad king of the sparrows a flash of vermillion darting from his own dire reflection fearing […]

the sky is picture perfect a little too pristine in azure glory spilling out between perfect fluffy clouds my mind picks out irregularities a congruence of similar shapes almost copied and pasted over the dallas skyline my pulse spikes as i am unable to differentiate if it is stunningly real or cunningly constructed am i […]

the thoughts bounce off of the impossible corners of my brain echoing back in a feedback loop of distorted cries until a wall of unbridled fury pummels dream into a fine slurry and i am left gasping as the rain falls yet i cannot seem to differentiate the sorrow from the reverberations of my own […]

i am alone on the roof of the parking garage overlooking the campus under a billowing gray as a falcon sits with a regal scowl listening halfheartedly to me spill out these desires in a hazy infusion of lavender hued adorations to crackle motes of dander inciting a riot of indecnt shades and electrified need […]

the soundtrack is stuck on a loop the birds sing the same melody a dischordiant seven note dirge for the sleepy sun an agitation of fluttering noise a sonic distortion tearing through my papermache skull impregnating the nascent day with cantankerous wails today is a tuesday of that there can be little doubt i long […]

there is a tick tick ticking in my skull growing louder as the frustration steadily mounts the sparrows find the ledge and tap at the window and i remember how to breathe once more skinless in this steadily falling unsterile salinity screaming my love at the uncaring universal disdain reflected in my hazel disconnection

i have a coffee cup with my book on it i use as an ashtray when friends who smoke come over. not that there aren’t ten mismatched mugs i never use it’s just i harbor no delusions. i will leave little more than a half filled urn along with a few scars desperately scratched deep […]

if i had one wish i would wish all of your wishes came true what else could i possibly need knowing you are content the sunrise your smile sylvia and coffee exactly enough to eradicate the darkness suffusing my sleepy brain

rain threatens to fall downdowndown as i sit with my legs dangling over the edge of the spiraling drain i am dizzy eyes spinning with those tempestuous waves singing softly of slowly slipping downdowndown to settle into the silt

i sit captive as my brain spins anxieties each easily shattered yet they swarm slowly riddling me full of holes until i can’t help but collapse my torn flesh is consumed leaving just a pockmarked skull grinning winsomely toward the morning star to gleam dully from glaring empty sockets if i don’t move i will […]

for the longest i thought that i was a stray atom a comet destined to strafe those inhabitable orbs wobbling off in their own orbits self contained by invisible shells indifferent to the lonely folly in frozen prose one too many close calls left me careening out in the irradiated emptiness of needing some space […]

if you listen real closely the sparrows sing of my love a free song unburdened by the weight of invisible scars the joyful sound picked from my incessant rambles over an endless barrage of coffee they don’t care that i cannot look in the mirror or when my sadness smothers me under its unbearable weight […]

instantly anxiety hits i know i am home but my mind cannot tell if it is one of the many hotels dissociating familiar folly and i want to be home but i know it doesnt fucking matter where i am it’s all the same brownwood or sweetwater or marshall or wherever i cannot escape myself […]

i have the most beautiful poem in my mind yet the words refuse to fall through the veil of sadness draped over my broken mind and i refuse to taint the image with this sorrow that has tinged so many of my quixotic lines i choke down goodbyes settling for the way they tear my […]

no one could accept me until i accepted myself and i was locked in a downwardspiral hiding away scared in a hell perpetuated by my own miswired self deception an improved take on the same bipolarity with a shiny new acceptance for the sudden shifts unreliant upon the vacuous gaze of insecure goddesses who only […]

i wonder if the captain of the titanic prescribed to the notion you find exactly what you need the moment you stop looking seems an even gamble on finding happiness or sending an old whore’s necklace to the bottom of the ocean life is absurdity bubbling up from the insular hells we inhabit but occasionally […]