tumbling headfirst down a dadaistic dreamburrow slowly shredding any sense of self in a slurry of senselessness embracing absurdity in a pontification on needlessly needling neolithic nonsense liquefied longing in a lingering malaise convulsing erratically as innocence sloughs away missing emotions which didn’t exist in any quantifiable way except as one way streets static explosions […]

there are days where i search for home lobotomies because i just need to eradicate the nagging voice of anxiety to be free of the burden worrying over impossibilities because things are too quiet miswired thriving in chaos while yearning for a peace of mind a piece of my mind will not allow there must […]

carbon copy suburban bliss grass stained shoes haggard smiles and beer bellies which defy gravity the scent of charcoal fluid and overdone meat mingling with dog shit and fresh sod vacant stares in a foreclosure of americana the over medicated followers stand guard around the cult-de-sac where dreams go to kill themselves fertilizer for yellow […]

sometimes the only surprise present received is the understanding just how little your life means in the grand scheme unless someone needs something then the expectation is you’ll come through because now you matter which helps reinforce how you already felt i never ask for anything yet still i am disappointed the story of my […]

an intensity in blustery gales the trees bend a sign to turn around and flee before being swept aside once again selling simple soliloquies in an attempt to remain solvent in turbulent seas singing softly to ward off this incessant sadness singed serenity in sorrowful sighs my solitude is a mile marker rather than a […]

despite our best intentions we are disposable biodegradable husks who only seem to have value when we are needed left in the sun to fester after a lethargic sluice in inanimated suspension of disbelief every time i crawl out of my hole it becomes clear no one has time for my clumsy attempts at a […]

been researching aquatic life obsessively for a book which is beginning to form there is something alluring about the silence at the bottom of the sea a solitude beset by a life of endless night i could have been happy as an octopus no one could see me as i hid in plain sight natural […]

billions of souls seeking some sort of purpose a hint of meaning to salve this condition of consciousness driven by the same instinctual urges as all life yet cursed with just enough understanding to question why careful contradictions denying base desires in a effort to seem self awakened rather than simply self aware searching for […]

thunder sendingsubsonic vibrationsthrough a manic fool thrumming with thesameprimalpower harnessing plasma in pulsating waves of endless anxiety asfrustratedtears stain the day the words fightferociously demanding perfection inpurgatorialprose mylonelinessladen streamofunconsciousness navigating the layers while numb fingers try to keep up lactic acid leaks from untying nots knottedandclotted in sputters and stops aclingingcavalcade in past tensions make […]

the math simply does not add up to the lies spouted by the clemtine colored cunt especially down here at the bottom sixty dollars worth of groceries now costs one hundred the eggs aren’t free and neither is the gas while the moron demolishes history to build a ballroom just like adolph i hope this […]

after months of attempted immolation the angry rays have calmed themselves enough to allow for a rare beautiful day with a hint of rain to finally feel as if summer might just fall into autumn it took me a few days to unknot my insides while working through the last stretch of my newest novel […]

i keep waking up at three in a state of panic one thought unbidden snowballs until i am fully awake making coffee trying to remember how to breathe i need an opportunity to earn a living off the words because the world has me incapable of anything else

row after row of corrugated roofs glinting angrily in the morning light an expanse of fields painted brown and yellow cash crops gone worthless as a senile poor man’s version of putin pouts he rigged a war to continue for months so he could claim credit for peace as he chased after a shiny new […]

the compulsions ease anxieties until my mind finds the next obsession relapserepeatregret i burrow deep a sea worm forming complex tubes deep beneath the silt content to remain submerged except for moments of necessaryconsumption drawn from the dark by beacons of passion swept along the currents until the battering against razor coral causes me to […]

the sheer audacity in the tantrums of a would be tyrannical cunt his unbridled gilded rage weaponizing this parody of justice a slovenly old mentally deficient spray tanned corpse surrounded by vacuous blondes willing to degrade themselves for a seat at thefastfoodladentable a dollar store dominatrix wreaking havoc on innocent communities inciting violence against our […]

the oligarchs rally their troops faceless gestapo in riot gear trying to provoke a response from the people to justify this illegal war on the constitution the laws don’t apply to them because they believe that nepotism has granted them divine providence that ill gotten gains from serial cheating the system they claim is rigged […]

some people have constructed elaborate masks taking performative to all new levels careful to keep who they truly are hidden happy go lucky positive vibes emanate from the paper mache but slowly cracks form unleashing snippets of truth quickly covered andcasuallydenied until one day they go on the attack all understanding washed away in the […]

music has always been life to me i grew up in the car with the classic station the only companion in the cavernous rear bench seat or in those poorly lit bars dinghy neon a small light over a bust of jfk and maybe jesus as well and the flashing lights of the juke box […]

threading the needle between giving up and giving in looking for a life balance where giving isn’t the only option giving up writing time to fix another set of lockers giving in to anxieties as i grow old and have not scarred art in any truly debilitating matter giving in to the constant fear and […]

true diamonds don’t refract light it simply passes through while lab grown stones act as prisms due to slight imperfections in the crystalline structure being artificially altered to mimic nature’s accidental perfection probably something deep buried in that i just found it to be utterly fascinating

inaccessible to everything except the sparrows singing daydreaming in quarter time a proper percolation coffee’s caffeinated caress in conjunction with a lingering haze of phantom kisses dripping daringly from the poisoned edge of my favorite dreamdagger indigo soulshatter fluctuatingsensually wavesofmercurialmania a gentle pealing of silvery bells as angels streak down screaming comets lighting a dour […]

what do you do when the system of checksansbalances refuses to perform its elected duty as the cuntiest clementine curries a societal collapse claiming a surplus while the farmers learn what it means to let them eat cake the speaker of the closet refuses to swear in the deciding vote to expose the pedo-in-chief an […]

do you actually believe the lies spewed to muddy the waters as the tangerine twat and his lackeys speedrunthedeath oftheamericaneconomy as the farmers see thebankruptcyon the crumbling walls fearmongering while the decadent golden whale golfs imagining seventeen trillion dollars no one can find whilecowardlyspeakers gag on the truth butnotthecockof hypocrisydowntheir despicable throats the republican rage […]

aregular reoccurrence ofirregular anxieties inareciprocative ringofrancid selfrealization on a friday mourning a future which willnevercome rubberbanding between rebounds a case of sea legs on the steady shore stumblinghalfblind penningtragedies bestleftunread haven’t written anyfictioninaweek becauserealitycan be so fucking un re al allthetime smotheredjustenough tokillthefirebutnot enoughtokillthepoet aconsistencyin condemnations acalamitouscluster ofpartiallycoagulated soulshatterscattered in groves where heartthistle thorns piercethepenumbra […]

all i ever want is to sleep or more aptly lay in that last moment of slippingconsciousness where everything loses weight the slow tumble intonothingness wherenoneofthis madness exists just fuzz and a pillow held extraclose whatever anyonehopestofind here doesntexist but far be it formetojudge someone else’s delusion my sleep cycle is much the same as […]

i hearthe clicking ofthe geiger counterpicking up onthe radioactivetoxicitythe foul presencea pained staindesperatelycombing throughpoetic refrainsa recombinantmicrobialstrainseeking somesalvationscreamingin solitude the magnetic polesin societalpsychosisare notpositiveandnegativebut oscillating wavesalternating betweenschadenfreude andfreudenschadewhere empathy isweaponziedalligator tearswater thesebarren plotsensuringonlyresentmentcan take root parasiticclustersclinging tothenarcissisticnotionthey deserve anythingbut contempt foractionsperpetratedadrift in delusionsifting similesseekingsecretsignsthelinesareforthemparlaying vanityinvaccuousvictimhoodadejectedregressioninrejectedobsession

after years of sodden trips down 281 now seeing stephenville in the sunlight i prefer the dreary rain over the rundown facade glowering undisguised by roiling gray not like i have any room to judge i am still rather ugly in the dark and the sunlight doesn’t do me any favors at all i cannot […]

blame it on the good drugs racing through my veins or blame it on how my subconscious taking the wheel (reread, evidence aspresentedpreviously of the rip roaring muchneededmentalrefresh psychedelicsurge) says more when the razor finds flesh for cuttingwideopen thesethingsmanicme cannotappreciatein the fucking moment blame it on aninstancebroken whereisaidallthethings screaminginlowercase so small choking me yet i […]

slipslding an incongruence of angles in an absurdity of atomic disarray manglingamalgamations maligingintentions a case of channeling threads of technicolor silk entanglingantiquity in a confounding series of shapes intended to convey basicmimicryinto works of art am i pretty pretty enough can you lick my scars taste the cancerous fucking rot blossoming in putridpinwheels errant sparks […]

the words shiverromantically a jittery highhat as my heart lays the downbeat a driving baseline ofbasicbassline inacceleratedpulse chasing down the lines tinkling ivorybonesintoa discombobulating percolation in manic whimsies the beat slows assimilatingintrospection into a lingering longing as random thoughts splash into a staccato double bass pulling the melody intoacacophonistic interlude to the anarchisticurgings buried in […]

urination rehydration mastication defecation concentration assimilation nosensation deterioration meditation masturbation intoxication sleepdeprivation repetitioninsubmission divisionthroughderision dreams are rancid nests wherewonderwiltsandfesters

i don’t drink anything except water and coffee finally understanding hydration really is the key to not feeling like hammered shit but i miss a variety of flavors so i settled on carbonated water with a hint of flavor to satiate the cravings no more apt metaphor for growing old exists quite the same as […]

another parking lot waiting for a delivery while the world wobbles a mournful dirge missed my calling in life should have forsook words for masonry as i erect emotional walls water tight all around my quixotic wheezing heart the sparrows sing joyously elevator music on the sheer drop straight to hell

i ignore the incessant buzzing of the mosquito flying around my aching head knowing it may be annoying as it tries to draw blood but the sheer desperation in its desire is based on the knowledge it has such a shortshelflife bothersome in the moment yet easily forgotten an arrogant denial born of simple truth

autumn hasfallenyet summerrefuses tounclench herclaws the leaveslong witheredincapable ofthe vibrancyin decay and i feelmuch the same a wizened fruitdesperatelyclinging tothe apatheticbranch knowing thefallwill do farmore thanleave a bruise swaying onthe fetid breezecarrying dieselfumes like notesof perfume just needeverything tostop beingeverything allthe fuckingtime autumn fallsinto summer’s shadowa folly offailing parts

they implanted this nebulous fear an insidious mistrust through misinformation a flurry of fiction obscuring all fact we have to defend ourselves from “them” an ill defined wave of boogeymen who are coming to take what is allegedly ours “they” will rape all of our women as “they” steal our jobs “they” are a threat […]

everyone is screaming while no one bothers to listen at all yelling out the talking points which agree with their personal political stance uncaring if any of it is the truth it doesn’t have to be we have abandoned any semblance to rational now it is about who can yell the loudest until either violence […]

reality keeps dealing blunt force trauma and i feel overly concussed as black spots erupt in my vision and the walls close in around me a metallic tang across my tongue like licking batteries whenever the weight of fucking everything magnifies and coalesces around my wheezing heart if i could have one superpower i would […]

no one is doing anything as they rapidly unravel the flag pulling on threads to dismantle basic freedoms while propagating fear mongering to keep everyone off balance silencing any who dare disagree with a tangerine tinted would be dictator offering up sacrificial lambs to turn the public away from the truth weaponizing the media to […]

brittle overexposedunderdeveloped swollen with a flurry offuriousfeelings unable to speak desperate to unload confounded inanimpotence ofoversaturated instabilities mymindhasbecome a run on sentence ofsputteringsentience a veritable variance inlanguishinglies as i vibrate in my own lack of substance formingfibonaccispirals intheaccumulatedtrash no matter how deeply i burrow down into the silt there is no escaping the goddamned attention […]

once i wanted to be what she was looking for but it wasn’t in either of our natures to pretend but i wish it could’ve been me whom she wanted anyway as long as i remind myself it is okay to only dream i know for a few moments before sleep it isn’t so badbeingalone […]

the love of people watching is tempered by a disinterest in interaction i can’t imagine a world where anyone is even remotely interested in anything i have to contribute but more compelling than seeing them in their native environments is watching as they expose far more in the electric zoo of social media the constant […]

the thought of interacting with anyone repulses me or more aptly i am fully unable to imagine anyone willingly interacting with my repulsiveness why would they an ugly old man whose only minor consistency is in falling apart a mentally ill idiot savant in relation to words with little else of societal value drunkenly stumbling […]

sour liquor and stale cigarettes along with a few garish neon lights assaulted the senses as i stepped from the sunshine day into a convalescent home for the lost souls desperate to numb it all growing up there was an ashtray in every room fancy crystal looking things most memorable from when my mother struck […]

there is an elasticity to this anxiety which keeps me steady bouncing in place a toxicity in recursive lines of grammar rays giving eerything agarishgreentint an irregular hum dischordiant tones howlingareverberation across an insolent afternoonofelgaicdecline i spin a faulty compass guiding a failing form farther and further from familiarity a phony symphony offarcicalfragments flagellating facts […]

slept too close to the surface where dream swirls around reality unable to tell in which state i was floundering as i staggered forward toward a familiar sense of insecurity ignoring the calls of indistinct childhood fears in a shadowy world slowly consuming hazy daylight colors running downdowndown the sodden facades of faded homes a […]

a lonely dirigible hovering over the wreckage of another town sailing upon the ever blowing currents above an irradiated collection of best intentions what remains of civilization little more than scattered debris swirling about still he soars a seed of hope on a tempest born of hopelessness searching through the empty land where freedom meant […]

my heart beat sends shockwaves rustling the sheets as i lay staring at the ceiling i fear the vibrations will send the walls crumbling down all around me this insatiable sense of longing pulverizing the cage of ribs into ivory splinters only her embrace can drive those bone fragments deep through the offending organincessantlybeating sleepless […]

tearing pieces off of this loaf of day old bread to leave a trail through the forest ofdessicateddreams all while pretending to ignore the row of hopping sparrows peckpeckpeckingaway any hint of a path to find home once more the sunlit vistas of a larger than life world of possibilities slowly darken as age exposes […]

a silken web clings across the doorway a fat black bundle of mosquitomurder waits ever so patiently for the telltale vibrations of asquirmingsnack asananorexicmoon slices the dark a fool lays still in the same lunar slasher night tugging the threads ofthelonglanguishing indescribablenextnovel where the end seems to be so clear while theroadisevershifting and the act […]

there is a constant vigilance in remaining mostly oblivious when i pay too close of attention to mostly anything i pick apart the pixels unwittingly exposing the glimmering code functioning beneath if it isn’t questioned the minor discrepancies can remain mostly ignored aberrations not rules but once seen nothing can ever truly be unseen empirical […]

writing fiction takes a toll on me as i contort my brain into the scenes and the emotions they need to convey if i cannot feel the weight of the moment how can i ever expect the reader to be swept away writing poetry gives a brief peace as i spill out the knots in […]

can’t tell if it is loud exhaust or thunder or if i am actually awake on the couch as subsonic vibrations rattle another goddamned poem loose it’s become impossible to tell if i am spiraling upwarddownwardinward or simply in place i just know i am dizzy and i have wanted off this fucking ride for […]

distractions increasethefractures while keeping the sheep at oneanother’sthroats it has become another dark comedy of escalating events feeble attempts at rewriting the rules while trying to maintain a lead over the law sacrificial lambs led to the offal pits of public opinion while the bastards pretend to be shocked a ready supply of lone gunmen […]

electrons painstakingly detail the derailment in my train of thoughtlessness a man was murdered by the same means he so vehemently defended and is branded a martyr while a woman was killed three weeks prior and was greetedbyacricketchoir and i just feel numb spent like a shell casing in an empty school hall i don’t […]

so sleepy yet the words decompose odes asthemaggotsfeast i follow broken stares down these fights of fancy bindedbytheblight blindfolded with blandages which distastefullymisplace anytraceofritesgonewrong curtailingcurtaincalls with one more round of intangiblerectangles to reinforce instability i tap the screen tap taptaptap taptaptap yet nothing makes cents just fashions a deeper stateofdebtandregret indivisiblederision in refractory periods as […]

a dash of demure lies before she suddenly dematerealized infrontofmydesensiteyes i could sea right through leavingnothingtobemist but a vague scents oflatesummerloss notes of heat andfadedpromises lingeringlightly on the diseasedbreeze blowing from the vowls of hll the sun is blinding refracted off the ash covering the windshield shaking hands tapping the steering wheel as the city […]

the familiar confines of home feel more confining tonight as i vibrate at the speed of crushing despair in mania minor the sky is overcast with no north star to guide me from the precipice of emotionaldissonance as my thoughts reverberate in rancorousrancidity the no vacancy sign sputters eerily as i hastily hammer plywood over […]

the hotel room seems haunted by more than just a manic fool there is a ticktickticking like a ghostly geiger counter as i lay alone on a too big bed wondering if there is a reactor leak at the dairy queen while the air conditioner gurgles phlegmily like a deep one rising at dunwich harbor […]

someone derisivelycalled me a liberal claiming to understand mypointofview i added the derisively the only thing liberal about me is the amount of disdain i have for career politicians i want the entire establishment to burn and then to stand holding a baseball bat with rusted spikes around the ashes ready to beat whatever hellish […]

i didn’t expect much heading to longview on a sleepy sunday afternoon and still longview left me already longing for home the bearded hotel clerk expounding on the need for a card in case of incidentals explained the costliness of towels and washclothes ad nauseum leading me to question why anyone would have such a […]

i have had to accept the fact though i somehow managed to spin a cocoon and liquefy myself knowing i never was a model caterpillar always incapable of catering to whims i never quiteiunderstood nor being a pillar ofanycommunity yet unable to becomeanythingmore thaninconsequential this probably wasn’t what my parents imagined i would grow into […]

her smile echoed corpselightdesires inducing a delicious corporeal torpor in sublime sanguination draining me of everylastthought my anemic will tested her lips like heartthistle accentuatingaorticaneurysms sapphire asphyxiation illuminatedinlunacy abloodfeastforabloodmoon luxuratinginlackadaisicallaments as i spasm a marionette entangledininvisiblerazorwires a reduction in rigorous denial stapling missing posters to crooked telephone poles all around this sinkhole rolling in broken […]

someonesomewhere has read my scribbles whichfeelsabsurd and a touch obscene imaginingallthese times spent talkingtomyself has been seen through someone else’s personal filter oscuring already half intelligible thoughts into disparate dreamwhispers hard to fathom willingly plumbing thesedarkdepressingdepths without a guide i trace the scars leftbyherhoarfrostedlips then recite back the reverberations of delectablepainshivers into terse lines wroughtfromtheagonyofknowing […]

i don’t often question my particular poisons just let them enslave me there are enough anxietyinducing incidentalhorrors anauralassaultagainst any hope of easing unwantedexistential crisisescrashing like raindrops in an illinois autumn fuzzy guitars scratches and boom bap beautiful women unapproachablepetiteand whollyuninterested a good solid indica and no clear indicator of where i am headed except headfirst […]

the homeless guy told me jesus was coming as he slipped the dollar into his pant pocket with a fevered stare above an empty smile and i have been on the lookout ever since the last thing i need is an angry aramaic profiteering prophet walking on my freshly manicured waterways telling me to turn […]

i was asked what i would want for my last meal something i had previously never pondered everything i managed to consider was lovingly made by someone long dead how do you choose the last respite to sum up a lifetime of consumption i find i only crave those things i cannot possibly have as […]

i work with this guy who is always unhappy about mostly everyfuckingthing he is decent enough of a tech but in private all he does istrytoagitate he calls slowly working himselfrabid pointing out everyone else’s shortcomings tryingtoprovoke a reaction from whoever answers and it worked for a while at least until he got too comfortable […]

as i crested the winding hill ensconced by the greedy limbs gently swaying i was granted aneolithicvista of swirling fog removing all signs any of us existed no asphalt scars or angry motorists the slow moving semisandsoccermoms just a world ripe with overgrown promise unfortunately it dissipated asiplungeddown a silver streak erasingthemystery and the awful […]

if getting older has taught me anything it’s not to do it eventually all that living comes with a price i follow the roadmap of scars and find the smiles associated seem fuzzy die young then when they painstakingly list off your failures it is over quick enough for everyone to get to bed atasensibletime

the sun shines awfully bright for the overcast mood which has taken over me every taptaptap of the goddamned keysisrainfalling soaking through thepapermachefacade fucking poetry my stomach churns pieces of shattered mirrors into the type of shit you can really see yourself in this pack of dogs seemquiteintenton ripping me to pieces and i only […]

when someone lacks real ability in this modern age of idiocy they can simply create false drama to muddy the waters inciting the mob mentality of those desperate to find their place among other scared sheep the government has perfected this distract with false outrage to tamp down any authentic reactions to their fuckery hack […]

a man in france caught a goldfish which weighed nearly seventy pounds in a scenic lake which he named carrot goldfish are fascinating in how they grow to the size of their environment each little fish swimming around their tiny aquariums dream of growing to the size of a shark yet they do not as […]

i thought this trip to stephenville might be the first without a drop of rain yet as i sit in the historic downtown square the thunderhead has slowly enveloped the sky perhaps it’s me the dark cloud of despair hanging over my aching skull has a certain sort of temporarypermanence as a child i wanted […]

stale burnt coffee haunts the tire shop a lingering spectre of styrofoam cups in the heady musk of petroleum products leaves me in a fit of dissociative nostalgia a group of older men ready to haggle down the disinterested clerk knowing more about the intricacies inset in vehicular maintenance yet apparently unwilling to actually turn […]

i see the stats jump as stalkers strive to steal the embers of my poetry the sudden deluge of familiar prose lacking any of the real meat just facsimiles losing depth each time they try to paint in the ashes of art they don’t understand they only mimic lacking the instincts to see the real […]

the sunlight filters through the blinds illuminating this prison cell into an illusion of emulsification i need to run to the store yet i have already figured out six solutions which allow me to stay safely hidden i know it will be uneventful but tell my anxiety getting out is good and listen to the […]

i saw two hawks circling the fields hazy and indistinct in the sweltering malaise of the first in a series of allnightheatadvisories as summer does her wretched best to melt the lonestarstate into a puddle of all its varied inadequacies was forced to hitchup my big boy pants learn the subtle dance of maneuvering through […]

the walking dead walking their dogs under the oppression of texas summer vacant expressions as they are pulled from each new scent a look of discontent and abject regret etched in exhaustion while a fool pens another ode to indifference with a scenic view of the muddy lake trying to cool off before reentering the […]

one day we all wake up to see the hells we so readily created and faced with the consequences of our own actions some will still do everything possible to shift the blame unwilling to accept the part they played doomed to repeat the cyclical destruction somehow shocked when every relationship ends the same way […]

when i consider where i was eight years ago when i started down the road of poeticruin i never imagined i would have a dozen or so books sixty some odd anthology spots or still be breathing the books are confounding channeling dreams into the aether tearing off the best parts of myself to leave […]

ihavefoundi am quite decent at dissent havingbeen descended fromalong line of dissenters conscripted frombirthto constantly bedazzle with dramaticdisdain these despoticdemons derailing and curtailing all theirpatheticplots logicallyleaving longlinesoflethargy astheylieinlogistics toplacatetheherd ifeellikeamolotovcocktail and it is most assuredly five o’clock somewhere

does anyone know anything as intimately as a servant knows their master? i know every deceptive curve of my madness ran my tongue along the razored edge of sorrow channeled effortlessly manic gigawatts yet still remain enslaved to it. i just get so goddamned lost and it takes longerandlonger to remember i have a face. […]

a heat dome is settled snugly over texas i long to watch the manufactured bits marring an otherwise scenic view melt slowly rivers of molten asphalt slowly swallowing each remnant of our indecent follies as the ice caps retreat in reticence the ragged remains of the last ice age clinging capriciously to gradually warming global […]

freedom is an invisible cage while hope is a squatter’s prison the delusion of life is running headfirst into the walls and blaming others for our concussions yet here we are repeating the cycles ignorant to the abject futility it is almost as if we cannot see the cemetery for the tombstones

my mind finds patterns in the chaotic fugue slowly picking at the outline eventually unveiling hidden truths in the false smiles and empty gestures i dislike having choices decided for me without the common courtesy of pretending to take my opinions into consideration their need to try to explain decisions in which i was not […]

the darkness appears velvety as i lay ensconced head to toe in this turgid river constipated with dreamthistle remembrances wishing the onyx tide would sweep me along the track marked sleeve of sleeps cold embrace everything is too transactional for my borderline brain i weave gossamer threads into a strong rope thirteen knots wound wearily […]

the sun rose feeling petty as it unleashed a torrent of hell a pulsating wave incinerating all unfortunate enough to meet its gaze sitting in a holding pattern my soot suit feeling tighter around my midsection watching a timer tick the seconds away into another inevitable alarm if the petulant burning orb ups the heat […]

the problem with everything crumbling around us is how long we ignore all of the cracks as they began to splinter across the placid sea of teeming indifference like needing to go pee for hours with no issue until the front door is within sight and you suddenly cannot move quickly enough in desperation we […]

every time i come to stephenville it seems to rain i have come to appreciate the dour little town with its constant construction and purple accoutrements because of the college the downtown square houses a rustic facade around the historic yellowed brick town hall only the business names have changed throughout the century and a […]

(a person who loves their country and, if necessary, will fight for it) over the last nine, or so, years the term patriot has garnered a foul taste with the orange stain permeating what was a noble ideal into a perversion of it’s true meaning it doesn’t mean licking boots who enrich themselves while lying […]

this fourth of july felt more like a birthday party in a hospice as we smear frosting on the sedated soon to be corpse putrefying before our horrified faces i have hit that age where death looms watching for any sort of slip up in which to swoop in and snatch my blackened soultatters everyday […]

sirens followed by crashing thunder the rain hammering the windows as lightning arcs inside my skull i have entirely too much to do to be sitting watching the storms yet here i am in another parking garage so similar to all the other tombs hastily erected to accrue oil stains and aching fools confounded by […]

i can feel panic welling up suffocating on shallow breaths as i struggle to figure out where i am these roads so similar to the many miles spent in solitary definement driving through little towns which all blend together seeking out license plates to determine which state i am currently cruising through scared of what […]

everyday the fractures widen as anxietal carcinogens waft turgidly upon the eerie early morning breeze when i say i need space it doesn’t mean a few hours between chats it means i need to scatter the pieces across the cosmos until my broken glimmers into constellations with which to rebuild the mythos where everything is […]

i lay heremanicpulsating aninverted rainbowacross thebedroom ceilingthrumming withan insatiabledesire fora peace of mindin the piecesof mine layingscattered acrossthe mattress incomplete distress a lifetime spentrunning away froma home i neverfully realized waspart and parcel nodestination butan encapsulation ofthe haunting behindshifting hazel dismayas seen in infrequentaccidental glancesin the bathroom mirror we are our own helleach and every […]

occasionally i wonder what i could have accomplished with a normally functioning brain exploring the world unbound by bipolarity contentedly living always sure of my surroundings and able to trust my own mind in the worst times it sounds like paradise if not a bit mundane savoring the simplicity in random existence able to cast […]

i explore the ragged rim of this smoking crater opened up by internal forces crashing into one another with tectonic fury the edges of another bipolar induced frenzy as the world quivers in barely disguised indiscriminate agonies swaying in line electrified cilia pulsating in time to the metronomic sensation of simply disconnecting from war ravaged […]

a melon melancholy as the strands of sunlight are strangled by gray lending a sickly glow to an unsightly monday spent lamenting how short two days seems in comparison to the two and a half times spent in the pursuit of someone else’s fucking dream the chains of everyone’s expectations grow rusted in the perpetual […]